


Save State

by Izaioi



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Development, M/M, Multiple Settings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Swearing, numbers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2019-11-25 22:37:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 119,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18172367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izaioi/pseuds/Izaioi
Summary: A bad grade was of no concern, a mistake was irrelevant, what other people thought of him was not a problem. Kokichi was free to do what he wanted and when he wanted, he didn’t need to mind his words or actions, no one could force him to do anything. He was the freest person in the whole world and everything was just there for him to take.After all, Kokichi was a life cheater.





	1. 1st Playthrough

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome!  
> There are just a couple of things I want to say:  
> First, I'm not native English, but I'm doing my best, I promise!  
> Second, this story (plot, characters etc) is a little unusual, so if you are confused just know that's very normal.  
> And lastly, these characters won't be IC since this is a completely different setting(s); they make sense for the story, not for who they are supposed to be, if you catch my meaning... So yeah, you can consider them OoC if you wish, but I don't feel like this should necessarily ruin the experience.
> 
> Oh and just to be extra sure: this is a mature rated story, there will be mature themes but none of them should be too much to handle, at least I hope. For spoiler reasons, I won't give detailed warnings but No Archive Warnings Apply, as stated above.

Kokichi checked the number printed on the lower part of his back in the mirror.

It read 78, three numbers less than yesterday. How the hell did it managed to decrease that much in such a small amount of time was anyone’s wonder. Years ago it used to decrease by only one or two numbers a week. He still wasn’t sure what was causing it or what these numbers were referring to. For a while he thought he had understood, but then he noticed that the phenomenon he originally thought was responsible for it wasn’t matching with the decreasing of the numbers at all. Sometimes they would change even when he was asleep or doing something completely unrelated. Once, it even decreased by one while he was taking a bath, he had seen it change personally.

This number had been a mystery following him his whole life.

Kokichi let go of his jumper and covered his back again. He checked his diary, writing down the date. He was not actually keeping up a diary in the literal sense, he was not writing down the events of the day, no, his diary had a different purpose. He was writing down only the things he needed to remember always, especially since he could not keep any reference with him. He had school today, it was Tuesday, and the tests were only a month and a half away. No that Kokichi cared about the tests in the slightest. No, his objective was another one.

He grabbed his backpack and ran out of the room and the dormitory. The dormitory was close to the school, but it was half empty, most of his classmates were living with their families or on their own. Kokichi would have loved to live on his own but unfortunately he didn’t have anyone who would spend cash to give him what he wanted. The dormitory was not that bad compared to some of the places he had been forced to live into. He was in this place since a while and he was not unhappy about it, this place was nice and peaceful. But he was ready to leave it if he needed to.

The school was in the residential area of the city, it was surrounded by a wide lawn in all directions and all the buildings had such a modern, almost futuristic, aura. Glass and steel were predominant, everything was white and black, he could see the inside of the buildings through the large glass walls. Seeing the other students walking and chatting through a wall and them being completely normal about it was still an alien feeling for him, this place was very different from the school he had attended until a while ago. He wasn’t sure he liked this school better than his previous ones though, this place was taking itself too seriously.

He passed by two smaller buildings, the gym and the on-campus theater, and entered the next building on his way. This one was kinda irking Kokichi’s aesthetic senses, why was it shaped like a transparent cube? It was so… _unnatural._ The flat roof and perfectly symmetrical walls were caging another smaller square at the center, which was the main hall. He entered the glass tunnel that was serving as the entrance and reached the empty square inside. It was an enclosed space, but it looked like a courtyard because the roof was made of glass and the sun could shine directly on them. Three floors were visible from the center of the square main hall, with the hallways connecting all the classrooms and rooms overlooking it from above. The whole structure made no sense at all to Kokichi. But he supposed it was a design of an alumni of this school so it was appreciated and shown as a proof of how to achieve success.

His classroom was on the second, and middle, floor so he climbed one set of stairs up. The stairs were completely metallic, pretty ugly in Kokichi’s opinion. He was half way up when he noticed one of his _merry friends_ Kiiboy texting on his cellphone. He ran up the last few steps, too noisily to be really subtle, and hurried to him. Kiibo noticed him way before he could reach him and hid his phone behind his back like he was afraid that Kokichi would stole it. Which totally didn’t happen like… ten of fifteen times already.

“Who are you texting Kiiboy?!” he yelled in his face, rising himself on his tiptoes to meet his height.

“It’s none of your business Ouma, how many times have I already told you?” the guy started to walk backward, trying to run away from him.

Kokichi was faster, he feinted on the left and then lunged forward to the right, grabbing his phone from his hands. Kiiboy started to pretest loudly but Kokichi was fast like a ferret, he avoided all his attempts to catch him and ran away down the hallway. Once he was on the other side of the square he hid in the female bathroom and started to tap on the screen. Kiiboy was texting in the group chat of his usual friends, as expected. One message in particular caught his eye.

 **_Saihara:_ ** _Okay, I’ll meet you later in the cafeteria._

Perfect, that was exactly what he was searching for. As always Kiibo was a useful source of information. They would never invite him, he had to use another method to find out where and when they would gather after school. He was not going to waste another day uselessly, life was too short and precious to waste it being proper. He typed quickly an answer in place of Kiibo.

 ** _You:_ ** _See you there, kiss kiss :3_

Satisfied with the perfect balance he had managed to keep, between being a complete asshole and being just a tad too friendly, he left the bathroom. He was going to give the phone back, of course, it was not like he was a thief… He was just reading all his messages, typing shit in his place and sometime deleting messages Kokichi didn’t like from his history. Barely anything to be mad about.

He ran back to the classroom, ignoring the shouts of the teacher, and threw the phone to Kiiboy on the fly. He shouted something at his back, probably an insult, but Kokichi ignored him. The classroom was half full, inside were the ‘honor students’ like Toujo and Amami, and the less odd ones, like Harukawa and Hoshi. The others were going to arrive little by little, some ‘fashionably late’, like Momota liked to call it. Kokichi didn’t bother try to find his good moment to arrive, he cared shit about how the others were viewing him. The person he wanted to see was already there anyway, like always. Kokichi grinned, suddenly full of energy again. Maybe today was the day.

“Have you finished the essay for literature? I found it interesting, especially considered the life of the author, I think it was—“ Akamatsu was hogging all his attention, like always.

“Heeeey!” Kokichi slapped his palms on her desk, making her wince like she was in pain. “I’m here now so we can stop talking about this boring crap and do something more fun!”

Both Akamatsu and Saihara Shuichi stared at him in silence for a ten seconds then they returned to their conversation like he was transparent. Kokichi was used to this technique, everyone who could be considered ‘a good kid’ was using it to deal with him. All the others were usually a bit more vocal, insulting him openly. He didn’t care about the insults, he was doing what he wanted, but ignoring him was not a great protective shield against him either. They forced the conversation to keep going while Kokichi was interrupting every other sentence.

“Hey! Hey-hey! Saihara-chan, Akamatsu-chan, hey-hey! I’m here, stop ignoring me! Let’s do something more fun! Who cares about school, let’s ditch it!!” he slapped his hands a couple more time, everyone in the room was looking at them by now. They should mind their business, it was because of them all constantly being around that Kokichi had to be so noisy to get noticed. “Hey, hey!! Are you listening I said—“

Something heavy hit his head forcing him to stop. Kokichi didn’t need to raise his gaze to know who it was.

“Shut the hell up, Ouma!!” Momota’s voice covered every other sound in the room. “I’ve literally just arrived and you are already making my ears hurt!”

If _he_ had arrived it meant that the lesson was going to start soon, a pain. Just like the one in his head right now.

“Momota-chan! You are always so violent!” he wined obnoxiously, placing his hands on his head and faking a tearful expression. “What would you do if I were to become stupid like you? I’ve lost a hundred brain cells because of you! I’m going to sue!”

“Yeah, right. You were born stupid, and you are cultivating your stupidity day by day by being annoying as fuck! You really can’t read the air and see when you are not wanted, can you?” he kept shouting until the bell forced him to stop and take his place further down the classroom.

Kokichi ignored him completely and grinned at Shuichi, before he could be forced to go sit at his desk as well, but was disappointed when he saw that he was looking away and purposefully trying his best to avoid his eyes. He gave up and took his place in the second row in the opposite side of the classroom.

_You really can’t read the air and see when you are not wanted, can you?_

He could read the air better than anyone, the fact that he was ignoring it was his own decision. He knew all too well that he was unwelcomed everywhere by everyone. He stopped caring a long time ago, right now he only wanted to obtain what he wanted, everything else could go and explode. The teacher arrived only seconds after and Kokichi was forced to endure this useless chore, why study when he could cheat at the tests? Or he could not bother to do that as well, it wasn’t like it mattered. Instead, he spent the lesson doodling on a new page of his notebook, every day he was filling another one with bright purple sketches, surely not notes from class. When he got bored he tore off a corner, he wrote ‘Hi, Saihara-chan!’ on it and threw it on his desk. The threw failed by a little bit, it fell on Akamatsu’s desk instead. She picked it up and sent a reproaching glare his direction even before taking a look. Kokichi grinned in response. The paper was not for her but unfortunately he didn’t posses the supernatural power of moving objects from a distance. She looked inside and frowned deeply, then she rolled the paper even smaller and hid it in her pocket sending him another glare.

_What a bitch._

Kokichi’s grin grew a little. He was used to this, to everyone trying to get in his way.  What they were failing to comprehend was that the more they were trying to stop him, the more he was becoming malicious toward them. They should just stop and he would stop paying attention to them as well, it was just common sense. Kokichi laughed in his mind, right, _common sense._ The thing they wanted to impose on him so badly, _on him!_ They didn’t know the first thing about common sense.

The teacher reminded them about the tests once again at the end of the lesson and Kokichi eavesdropped on Akamatsu and Shuichi planning a study session together. They were better not thinking about trying to be alone in the same room, Kokichi would burn the dormitory down before allowing that. That harpy was already taking too much liberties with his propriety. Well, Shuichi wasn’t his propriety _yet_ but he was going to be sooner or later, he just needed to push him enough to convince him they were meant for each other. Akamatsu was not part of the picture, so the sooner she was out of it the better.

Kokichi was always playing to win.

He tried to get up and speak with Shuichi again when Kiibo blocked his path, his hands on his hips. Kokichi tried to walk past him but Kiibo took a step in that direction closing his path again. Kokichi was trapped between the two rows of desks and the wall.

“Ouma, I’ve already said at least fifteen times to stop sending strange texts from my phone! I don’t want you to touch it without permission so please stop it! My friends are always weirded out when they receive your messages. What’s the reason for doing something so absurd? If you want to send prank texts so badly then use your phone!”

Kokichi peeked behind the white haired guy’s shoulder and saw Shuichi’s friends quickly surrounding him and leave the classroom in one big group. No one looked in his direction. Kokichi almost wanted to laugh, they were so dedicated to their role of bodyguards! He wondered if Kiibo here had been a part of the plan or just a convenient coincidence. No matter.

“What are you saying Kiiboy?! None of you ever read my texts, I can’t prank you like this! I’ve gotta be a little more creative, you know?” he smirked at him.

“How about just stop instead? No one appreciate your jokes, you are just being an annoyance for the whole class. I can’t believe we seriously have to talk and move in secret to make sure you are not tagging along.” Kiibo’s eyebrows were so furrowed Kokichi wondered if they were painful. The fact that they were only making plans through texts and moving only as a big group, to hopefully scare him off, was the whole reason why Kokichi was constantly stealing his phone in the first place.

“No way! You would all be bored without me!” he waved a hand casually.

Kiibo’s expression didn’t change.

“I don’t know why you are doing this but you are being an inconvenience to Shuichi. If you keep going like this we won’t have any other choice but to report you for stalking.”

Kokichi’s lips twitched while he was trying to contain a chuckle. The humor of his statement was completely lost on Kiibo, obviously.

“Ehh?? You are so mean, Kiiboy! Calling me a stalker! It’s you that’s cornering me like this, you know? I’m really scared, what do you want to do to me?!” he faked a terrified expression.

Kiibo sighed loudly and dropped finally the attitude. As soon as Kokichi saw an opening he leaped past him and out the door, ignoring Kiibo calling him back. Kokichi immediately forgot all about the discussion he just had descending the stairs two steps at the time, in a hurry to leave the stupid square building that was hurting his aesthetic. He pondered a moment the next step to take. According to Kiibo’s text they were supposed to meet in the cafeteria for lunch, but now that Kokichi had announced himself there, they must have changed plan. Of course the text he sent didn’t have his name on it but they probably heard from Kiibo the truth, he must have sent a text immediately after warning them they had been spied on.

Still, they didn’t bring anything with them when they were leaving. They probably were going to buy something from the cafeteria and eat somewhere else. Kokichi was still in time to find them there before they could leave. Search all around the campus would be a hassle, if they were not there Kokichi had to give up for the moment and try to get some of Shuichi’s time after the lessons end. The cafeteria was inside a triangular shaped building, the ceiling was the hypotenuse of the rectangle triangle and was the only transparent part of the building, the rest were all white walls. Kokichi walked around it until he was peeking inside from the transparent diagonal roof. The food counter was on the opposite side, against the non-transparent cathetus, the kitchen was hidden behind there, in a  place hidden from view. From his position Kokichi could easily see the counter and all the tables lined up in the spacious open room. His target was there with his usual group, grabbing what they wanted to eat.

The Shuichi’s bodyguard squad, as Kokichi loved to call them, were the more homogeneous group in the class. Inside their numbers were people like Akamatsu, Amami, Harukawa, Momota, Kiibo and sometimes other people would tag along, like Yumeno, Chabashira and Gokuhara. Toujo and Hoshi were two exception, as they treated everyone neutrally no one and everyone considered them part of their own group. Only the nutjobs were somehow distant from him, people no one really wanted around like Iruma, Yonaga and Shinguji. No one really could ever hate Shuichi, he was too good of a guy, but he was more comfortable with calm people and not with the more eccentric ones. For this reason his bodyguard squad was a lively group but only composed of very serious and dedicated people. And then there was Kokichi, who was by no mean Shuichi’s type.

Not that he cared about being his type.

Kokichi ran into the cafeteria on a fly and he almost started squealing with excitement when he noticed all their expressions crumbling when they noticed him. It was always so fun see just how much they didn’t want to see him. They had thought they were being freed of him for this break, ah? Eh, fat chance.

“Hey, my favorite besties, you should have waited for me! That wasn’t very nice!” he faked a pout.

Everyone immediately covered Shuichi’s presence with their frames, not that it took a giant to do so, Shuichi was one of the smallest guy in the class. The only ones smaller than him were Kokichi himself and Hoshi. Even Akamatsu was bigger and taller than him. Kokichi was still so impressed they were considering him like a dangerous individual, like he wanted to stab him or something. He was never going to hurt him, he wouldn’t even touch him without his permission, Kokichi just wanted to spend time with him. If anyone had the right to send him away was Shuichi, no one else.

“Ouma, what the hell are you doing here? Don’t you have anything better to do than bother everyone else? Are you really so bored?” asked Akamatsu aggressively.

“This is a public space, as far as I know. I’m free to stay here as much as you are! Or what, should I just starve? That’s so mean Akamatsu-chan!” he faked a dejected expression.

“Then hurry along and scram.” Harukawa had no patience for him, she was always answering curtly.

“Humph!” Kokichi tried to sound as offended as he could and followed her ‘advice’.

He wasn’t actually retreating, just grabbing his food far from them and then come back to his assault immediately after. They weren’t stupid, and this was not even the first time, so they sensed the danger and hurried their selection to leave the building as soon as possible, before Kokichi could be hot on their trails. It was never going to work, as always. Kokichi grabbed three sandwiches and two desserts, a pudding and a little tart, plus a bottle of Panta and was ready to follow even before the others were out of the door. Kokichi giggled when he noticed them throwing glances behind their shoulders to check Kokichi’s position. They were so ridiculous, it was almost like Kokichi was one of those sharks in the horror movies. Or a kraken in a pirate story!

He left the building calmly, there was no need to hurry, he just needed to keep them in his sight. He was going to wait for them to sit somewhere and only then join, when it would look simply too ridiculous to get up and move again. He followed them as they were crossing the paths running around the building and in the middle of the grass, they were aiming for a relatively solitary spot in the grass under a tree. Kokichi waited for all of them to sit down and start to eat before he ran forward and threw himself on the ground sliding with his knees on the grass.

“So, Saihara-chan, what have you decided to eat today?” he asked cheerfully taking a peek at his food.

“Ouma, we didn’t invite you!” Momota shouted exasperated, swinging a fist in the air toward him.

“I invited myself!” he didn’t even look in his direction, ignoring him.

“You are _unwelcomed_ here, we already told you a lot of times before!” Momota’s tone started to be more and more pissed.

“I’m throwing him away.” Harukawa got up and spoke like she was talking about garbage.

“No, no, you are all so cruel, I just want some company!!” he started to wail loudly, rolling a little on the ground like a little kid.

He knew that this method would work. When they first met because they would actually take pity on him, thinking they had maybe exaggerated in their judgment, but right now that effect was permanently lost, all the people involved knew that Kokichi was simply malicious. But it would still work because they didn’t want him to scream even louder and attract everyone’s attention. In the classroom everyone knew him, but outside Kokichi was just a random guy that looked more like an elementary schooler.

So the next thing that was going to happen, once again very original, was them completely ignoring him. Kokichi could, oh he very much could, keep annoying them by talking loudly and completely monopolize the conversation but that was not his objective. Kokichi wanted the others to go away, not to disgust Shuichi, so when he was with him he was automatically behaving a lot better. He just started to eat faking a very interested face when everyone started to talk about things he didn’t care at all. He needed to prove to Shuichi that he could be a normal person sometimes. Maybe.

He remained in the background, sitting as close as he could to Shuichi. Considering that Akamatsu and Momota were taking his sides to themselves he was sitting behind him, a little on the right, closer to Akamatsu than to Momota. At the very least she would not punch him, like Momota. From this position he could whisper in Shuichi’s ear if he wanted. He grinned a little, humoring the thought. He was really tempted to do so, but he kept himself in check, he wasn’t there to annoy Shuichi. Shuichi had given him only a surprised glance when he first appeared, he never turned again, which was normal, that was the standard Shuichi’s reaction. He was never too talkative in general but with everyone else he was friendly and never cold, he reserved the cold shoulder only to Kokichi. Even though Kokichi had noticed this particular trend a long time ago he wasn’t particularly worried about it, the opposite, it was comforting in a way and it made him even more interested in conquering him.

Even though no one really ever noticed, Kokichi was actually pretty patient when he wanted to be. He remained there, in the background silently, eating and listening, for more than twenty minutes. His food was all eaten before he even felt the need to do something. In particular what made him react was the fact that Akamatsu and Shuichi had started a private conversation, talking between themselves, not including all the others. It was almost like they had forgotten that Kokichi was right behind them. He wasn’t sure if that was really the case or not. Anyway, the two were again discussing about studying together for the exams and once again Kokichi was starting to lose his patience. He could, maybe, learn to tolerate them as long as he was the one being with Shuichi, but not if they were so obstinate in stealing him away! Akamatsu really didn’t want to let him go. And no, this was not about friendship, Kokichi could recognize friendship. In any case he was never going to trust Akamatsu again, so it didn’t really matter either way. She needed to go away.

Akamatsu was trying to open the plastic cap of a bottle, but apparently she was too weak. She made a couple noises of disappointment catching Shuichi’s interest. He offered to help her but as soon as she handed him the bottle Kokichi swiftly stole it and opened it himself. The two of them opened their mouths to comment but stopped when they noticed he was being nice. Kokichi enjoyed a few seconds their frozen faces, confused if they should say ‘thank you’ or ‘give it back’. It was a first that Kokichi was being helpful and nice! Except not.

“What is this Akamatsu-chan, I’ve never seen this drink before! What does it taste like?” he asked, faking innocence.

They immediately saw what was coming next so they decided which one of the two phrases to use.

“Ouma, give it back! It’s not—“ Akamatsu extended a hand to grab it but Kokichi was faster.

He raised the bottle and started to drink quickly a couple of full gulps. Kokichi’s mouth was immediately filled with a strong flavor. He spit out all the juice coughing and sticking out his tongue to maximize the effect.

“What’s this filth?!”

As he moved his gaze from the bottle to Akamatsu, he noticed the damage he had done, for once involuntarily. His reaction had been genuine, but now it looked intentional. Akamatsu’s shit and skirt were covered in orange stains of different sizes and shapes. She was looking at herself with disgust.

“It was grapefruit juice, a special one, filled with vitamins.” she forced through her teeth.

He looked at the bottle label and read ‘Grapefruit juice, 99% pure grapefruit 1% sugar’. No wonder it was so shitty, it was pure juice! Absolutely disgusting, his tongue was tingling like he had just gargled with hot pepper.

“Why would someone force themselves through this torture?!” he asked, actually interested in the answer, for once he wasn’t acting.

“It’s very healthy and I’ll let you know that this is my favorite drink!” she snatched the bottle from his hands and got on her feet to reach the fountain and try to clean up a little her clothes.

While all this was going down finally the others caught up and they started to shout at him. Kokichi would’ve ignored them, even when Momota got up swinging a fist at him, but this time he could not. Because Shuichi was actually staring straight at him. His eyes so black, his expression so filled with repressed anger that Kokichi for once felt like he should genuinely retreat. To think the one thing to send him off the rail, _this time,_ had been something that Kokichi didn’t even do on purpose. That had been an accident, he really had no idea pure grapefruit juice was Akamatsu’s favorite drink. Had he known he would’ve never tried to drink it. Not to be nice to her, definitely not, but because he had to endure the explosion of acidity in his mouth. Interesting, but somewhat disappointing as well. To think he tried so hard this time...

“I think I’ll leave right now because I feel that I’m going to be murdered soon. Have a nice lunch!” he jumped back before Momota could grab him and started to run away.

After they were out of sight Kokichi considered what to do next. He could go away now… but it had been his policy to wait until the last moment as many times as he could. He _needed to see it._

This time was no exception.

He returned to the classroom and found it empty except for Shinguji, he was always the only one to remain where he was, reading a book, during all lunch breaks. But the two had no business with one another so they ignored each other until the bell for the afternoon lesson rang. This school had a single extra-long lesson at the end of the day, before it was time for the clubs activities. It was a practical lesson in architecture, they were supposed to draw a project of sort. Kokichi didn’t draw anything. He was not being a smartass or anything, it was just that he never chose this course of studies and so he was unable to draw, that was the simple reality. Not that anyone in the class believed him, and Kokichi supposed it was fair. He was a liar. But even more tangible than that… Kokichi had been able to pass the entrance exam for this school. It was a requirement to be able to draw architectures to even enter. It was the most prestigious school of architecture in the nation, but again… it wasn’t like Kokichi had chosen to be part of it.

The day ended and Kokichi walked around lazily, leaving the building. He had noticed Shuichi staring at him from time to time. Normally he would have been happy to finally receive his attention but unfortunately this was bad news for him. He was a bit tired of this routine. When he noticed Shuichi dismissing his friend to follow him from afar, he sighed and walked a little faster. He wanted to be far from all the others to talk to him, he didn’t need an audience. He looked behind his shoulder a couple times to make sure Shuichi was still following him, he wasn’t trying to lose him. He preferred to have this over with immediately if it needed to be.

He was just terribly annoyed that it was a stupid thing that made this happen.

“Ouma.” he finally called him when they were surrounded only by the back of the cafeteria and grass.

“Aww, are we still on last name basis? I think we are ready to move on!” Kokichi turned and tried to sound hopeful.

Shuichi’s face was not friendly at all. He ignored his joke and went straight for his point.

“Stop it. This is quite enough, just stop it.”

“Enough, what is enough, I barely did anything!” Kokichi shrugged, playing dumb.

“You know perfectly what I’m talking about. You harass all my friends, you harass me constantly, you keep pushing yourself in situations that doesn’t concern you at all just to be a bother to everyone. Just stop.”

“Wow, that’s harsh.” Kokichi tried to place a strand behind his ear but his hair was too unruly to remain there and it sprung again back where it was. “If you never invite me to social events it’s only logical I’m going to invite myself in, right? Or would you rather me be all depressed in a corner alone?” he looked him in the eyes smiling innocently.

“That’s your own fault. They would invite you if you didn’t harass them all since day one. You stole Kiibo-kun’s phone a hundredth times, he has to constantly apologize because you keep sending messages with his phone. You are mean to Akamatsu-san every single day and you treat Kaito-kun like a massive idiot every time you see him. Good thing Harukawa-san and Amami-kun are capable of defending themselves so you are avoiding them, otherwise you would’ve even more victims. We have to move like thieves in hope to lose you somewhere or you are capable of following us even outside campus and into the city. Just stop.” Shuichi wasn’t giving up his aggressive attitude at all unfortunately.

This really was it then.

“Hmm, interesting. _They would invite you._ Which doesn’t include you, am I right?” Kokichi asked tiling his head and lowering his voice.

“That’s correct. I wouldn’t invite you even if you weren’t mean to my friends. I find you annoying, insufferable, arrogant, abrasive, uncaring, mean, indifferent and borderline abusive. I despite you more than anyone else in the world. I wouldn’t hung around with you even if you were the last person on Earth. I’m genuinely disgusted by you.”

_Ouch._

“Aren’t you a bit harsh?” Kokichi cleared his voice softly.

“No.” he didn’t hesitate a second. “I ran out of words to use, I would continue if I had more adjectives to describe you. I’m sure there are some left. If you get close to me ever again I’ll be ready. I’m going to write a whole list. The dictionary can help me on that.”

Wow, nice punch.

“I could bring you a dictionary if you need one.” Kokichi shrugged weakly.

 “Don’t bother.” Shuichi’s tone was sharper than any sword. “Don’t bother come closer to me ever again, don’t bother talk to me. Don’t even breath to loud around me or I’ll make sure you won’t be able to see me ever again.”

 _Ah,_ and his merry friends were so concerned about him! He knew how to defend himself perfectly fine.

Kokichi didn’t have anything to answer to that, he remained in silence. It lasted only a few moments then Shuichi spoke again.

“I trust I made myself clear.”

He turned and left. Kokichi remained where he was, he didn’t move, he didn’t do anything at all, waiting for him to be out of sight. When he remained completely alone he dropped his gaze to the ground, his face contorting a little. He let his knees give up under him. He dropped down on the floor inhaling a long breath.

 _Wow,_ this time he really went all out.

“Heh…”

A smile stretched on Kokichi’s lips. It wasn’t a reassuring smile, far from it.

“Hehehe…”

He started to chuckle. His chuckle soon became a full laughter. It was a laughter filled with arrogance, he lifted his head and stared at the point where Shuichi had disappeared.

“Not even if I was the last person, ha?” he asked out loud for no reason. “We shall see about that…!” his laugher became hysterical.

The game was far from finished. Oh, _so far._ Shuichi was a fool if he really thought that _cute_ outburst was enough to stop him! _HIM! Ah!_

Kokichi was a life cheater, what was a little set back compared to the thrill of _the game?_

He looked up at the sky and took another long breath. Then, with not a single concern in the world he let himself fall backward.

Ready to start a new game.

* * *

 

 

**Save state?**

**> Yes**

**No**

**Type the element to transfer over:**

**> Grapefruit juice.**

**Confirm?**

**> Yes**

**No**

**Save state completed. Please wait.**

**Loading…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to post a chapter every week, same day same hour (Thursday, 7 pm Rome time).
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter, I hope you liked it and you'll return for the next :)  
> About the length of the chapters, in this one story it was pretty impossible for me to stay consistent, as my habit. This chapter is the longest one I wrote so far, and I don't think I'll top it. Some are especially short. I'm sorry because you have to wait a week, but there is a reason why they are made that way.  
> Also, I write every fic with the intent of getting better at something... this is my attempt at getting better with angst.  
> So don't expect much fluff at all in here, nope.


	2. 2nd Playthrough

He regained consciousness inside a room.

It was not the same room he had seen all this time he had spent inside the place he had called the ‘Architecture Universe’. Kokichi had spent so much time in so many different universes he had started to call them by their major peculiarities. Sure, he had kept the number as well, but it was too easy to get confused by using only a number. By giving every single one of them a name, he was better able to remember what had happened in every one of them. He ran for the desk and grabbed the first piece of paper he could get his hand on and he started to write down the current number and the previous universe name. At the very least he wanted to be sure to remember that much.

Kokichi wasn’t the type to keep a diary, but he needed to write down this somewhere or he was going to forget. He couldn’t transfer objects from a universe to another, he only had his brain he could count on. He looked down at what he had just wrote and memorized it at the best of his abilities.

_Universe 128; Previous - Architecture._

Once that one detail was taken care of, he searched for a mirror with his eyes, eager to know if the number on his back had changed. He found one in the bathroom and raised the back of the shirt he was wearing to uncover his lower back. It read 78, again. The number didn’t change. He was already certain of it, but the numbers were not related to his jumps. He had had them printed on his back since birth and they always changed randomly. He let go of the shirt with a sigh.

So, this was just a normal day in a normal new universe. Just like any other time.

Everything had gone back to zero, all his progresses with Shuichi, and their argument. Everything. He looked at the date and wasn’t surprised when he saw the same day as the one he was living in the universe of Architecture. It had always been like this. He wasn’t moving in time, only in a different place. This Kokichi had lived a completely different life from the Kokichi he had been impersonating until a moment ago and so now he had to learn again everything from scratches.

It had been very difficult to learn at the start of his life how this whole deal worked. At first it had been so confusing learn that everyone was expecting him to do something completely different from what he had been done until that day, that he was living somewhere else, that he knew different people and he had different possessions. It took him to be a little older to finally understand well enough how everything was working and until today nothing had ever behaved any different from his observations of the strange phenomenon. Basically, he was transferring his consciousness every time in the body of a different Kokichi, in that same timeframe and wherever they were, replacing the old Kokichi completely. He had absolutely no idea if the Kokichi that was living that life until that moment was now dead or was going to come back after he had left. He kinda hoped the first hypothesis was true, or else he was ruining the lives of a thousandth Kokichi. Not that he cared all that much.

Now, the first thing he had to do was understand where he was now and what kind of life was this Kokichi living. He had to move carefully, feel around a little before starting again his tactic to conquer Shuichi. That objective was never going to change, no matter how many universes he was forced to live. Shuichi was the only reason he was moving around them in these past years anyway. He was hunting him down in every and each universe until he was finally able to find the perfect one. The one where Shuichi was going to accept him. He had already been rejected 94 times, but that was just the beginning, Kokichi liked to play games at the hardest difficulty. And, to be fair, the fact that Shuichi was _consistently_ rejecting him was like… 90% of the reason why he was doing it.

He studied the room first, trying to gather as many information as he could. He didn’t need to search for long, true to be told, he discovered this Kokichi’s interest pretty easily. He sighed loudly, another thing he didn’t know how to do and that was going to embarrass him greatly in the next days. Art. The Kokichi of this universe had a great lot of drawings in his desk, not to mention a collection of supplies and blank papers. There were some watercolors and some oil paints but it was clear that Kokichi’s specialty was inking. Great, Kokichi barely knew what inking was, let alone do it. Classes were going to be a pain, it was impossible to pretend to be an art student, not from scratches. Oh well, he was just going to ignore it, just like the classes of architecture. It wasn’t really his fault this Kokichi had chosen something he was not able to do. Again, he hoped the old Kokichi wasn’t going to return to his body after his parting or his life was going to be ruined.

Next he studied the room itself. Beside the art supplies the room was clean and not that small, it looked bigger than the dormitory he had in the Architecture Universe. Was he not in a dormitory this time around? It wasn’t impossible, it wasn’t the first time either. Kokichi had visited a bunch of universes and in some of them he had a family, so he lived with them, in others Kokichi was living alone in an apartment his parents or guardians had rented for him. This could be any of these options or another thing completely. First he had to establish that. He remember perfectly the first time he had lived in a universe where he had his own apartment and he got lost after leaving it to explore, because he forgot to note his own address. It had been admittedly embarrassing to call his guardian to ask for it.

He opened the closet and a surprise was there, in wait for him: the closet was filled with the same uniform, a long robe. It was of a dark red, bordeaux maybe, and had two bands on each side, shoulder to thigh, of a lighter red. Kokichi was reminded of some robes of a gospel choir. What kind of school had this Kokichi chosen? It looked something… religious? Kokichi hoped not, this was a first and hopefully, if it really was, a last too. He hated religions, all of them indistinctively. He had learned a while ago to stop relying on anything else expect himself. He examined the drawings again, in search of some kind of religious icon but luckily he didn’t find anything.

In the room there wasn’t anything else of interest, so he looked at his phone. It was a different model compared to the previous one so it took him a second to find the right menu, so he could read the texts. He needed to know with which people he was hanging out the most in this place and what kind of attitude he had to take with them. Not that he was going to act like the original Kokichi of this universe, but he wanted to avoid surprises if he could. Not to mention that this could be the one, the one were Shuichi was already his friend from the start. Something that never happened before at all. This universe showed once again signs of being a very unconventional one. His text history was empty and the only contact he had was of his guardian. This was a first as well, Kokichi normally always had at least a friend or two. Oh well.

One thing he knew for a fact was that no matter where he was or why, Shuichi was there somewhere for sure. He was always there. He was the only constant in an ever changing reality.

He left the room, ready to explore the rest of the world. Surprisingly, right outside of the room he found something that looked like the interior of a house. It wasn’t an apartment, that much was clear after he looked outside of the windows. Outside the sun was setting and there were trees all around. The only source of light he could see was a street lamp farther away in the distance and something that was twinkling on the right. The house he was into was really really small, there was only a dining room with the kitchen directly connected, the room he had just left, and a bathroom. Kokichi had a flash of understanding, this was a dependence. Or something very similar to that.

Was this some kind of religious school where every single students had a dependence on their own? Man, talk about money.

He grabbed a black long coat hanged near the entrance and left. The air outside was full of humidity and the scent of moss, the crickets were singing loudly. Kokichi couldn’t discern how big the forest was because of the darkness, but his dependence was surely surrounded by it and considering the atmosphere it seems it wasn’t just a little portion of the land. Was the school inside a forest? Why? Kokichi walked around, following the path and the light, it wasn’t worth it to get lost in the woods, who knows what could happen to him in the darkness. Kokichi had never tried dying, well obviously, so there was no telling if he was just going to ‘respawn’ after death or not. It really wasn’t worth to try it out, he wasn't suicidal. His exploration wasn’t all that useful as the only thing he was able to see was a gigantic building at the center with multiple dependences all around it. The whole place looked like a clock, the center was the building and all around several paths leading each to a small dependence like the numbers on the clock face. Imagining the area from above gave Kokichi a strange cult vibe, he wasn’t sure he wanted to remain in this universe, it was kind of creepy.

Before he could get close to the main building and see what it was all about he was stopped.

“Oh my, what are you doing outside at this hour?”

Kokichi turned, he thought he had recognized the voice but he hoped he was wrong. Of course he was not wrong.

Yonaga Angie was standing right behind him, her hands behind her back and a smile on her face. Kokichi shuddered internally. In such a creepy context who else but her could appear? Yonaga had always been a thorn on his side, in every universe she was present. She could have been called another ever present thing in his life, except it was not as precise and consistent as Shuichi. Shuichi was alive in every single universe he had visited so far, no exception, while Yonaga was often present but sometimes not, just like everyone else. Kokichi was kind of glad she was not another solid point in his life, he didn’t want to be comforted by her presence like with Shuichi. Shuichi was still his number one favorite, and he was always going to be.

Unless one day fate was going to decide to destroy Kokichi and take away the only certainty he had.

“I was just enjoying some fresh air, I can’t?” Kokichi asked, trying to look confident.

“Of course you can’t! Silly Brother Kokichi, you have studied the rules the first day here, haven’t you?” she spoke like she was reprimanding a child and it gave Kokichi the creeps.

Wait, Brother? He was about to throw up when he remembered that in religious groups it wasn’t that uncommon to call others like that. That didn’t mean they were siblings, but more like comrades or something along these lines. Actually, by the way she was acting, it was possible that she was a superior in the cult and he was her underling. He almost wanted to throw up again, that idea was almost as bad as them being siblings.

“Of course I have, I just thought I could ignore them, maybe!” he smiled silly.

She laughed, genuinely amused.

“You are so fun Brother Kokichi, but now you better go or I’ll have to punish you!” she was still smiling, like she was just joking.

Kokichi didn’t know anything about this place but one thing was for sure: she wasn’t joking. A little shiver traveled down his back and his caution told him to play along and go back to his dependence. There was time for him to explore the next day, right now it was better to avoid landing into unknown trouble.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, let my off the hook this time, okay?” he tried to look innocent.

“Sure, as long as you understand! I’m not the one you will have to explain your sins in the end after all, as long as you are okay with the consequences!” she was still smiling but now her whole presence felt heavy.

“Yeah, sure, as you say. I’ll go back now.” anything to get away from this creepy girl.

He walked away fast, without looking back. Was she hinting at the existence of someone higher up in the ranks then her? Well, it didn’t took much thinking to understand that this was the case, a little girl could not be the one running the place. It took him a moment to find again his place and he hid inside, considering his options. He wanted to meet Shuichi, discover where he was and what role he had in this world, then if he didn’t like it he could always run away to the next universe. But all that had to be done in the morning, right now it was too dangerous to navigate in the dark and then what? Was he supposed to barge into his room in the middle of the night? Yeah right.

He sighed and calmed down, going back into his room to change. Falling asleep didn’t come easy to him, his mind was replaying the scene from before, now that it was empty. By this point he was so used to Shuichi badmouthing and rejecting him, however, that it stung a lot less compared to before. The first time Kokichi had been hurt pretty bad, but that was just because he was still a silly little child, he had not learned about the harshness of the world just yet. The first time Kokichi noticed Shuichi he was fourteen years old, but of course he didn’t try to date him at that time, he just had noticed his existence. Some universes later his interest had started to grow each time, as he was starting to pick up a pattern in him, something he could not figure out in anyone else. He couldn’t hate or love anyone else because each individual he was meeting of the same person was different. One could be an asshole, the other a nice person. That was why he had given up in each and every one of them, because they weren’t _a person_ they were just a random variable in play. But Shuichi was always true to himself, reacting to the environment not completely based on the context, but more often on his own morals and personality. There were times he was friend with someone and times where he was in bad terms with that same person because they were different from before.

Shuichi was the only person inside a world of variables, the pain to have him was worth it.

The next morning Kokichi was woke up by bells. Not something like a school bell, actual bells. He looked out of the window and saw them swing at the top of the main building at the center. He exhaled, trying to calm his heart that was beating too fast. The stupid noise out of nowhere had scared him to death. Now that the sun was out he could look at the place decently, finally, so he stuck his head from the window and studied the surrounding. He had been right, it really looked like a clock, the whole place surrounded by a forest. There had to be a way to leave though, people couldn’t be reaching this place by hiking, surely. Aside from that the dependences were all specular to the one he was currently in, while the main building was very high and of a very dark shade of gray, it was almost black. This was some kind of strange cult for sure, not a famous religious institution.

What else was he expecting from a place with Yonaga in charge of something.

The first problem of the day was dress code. There had to be one for sure, but he didn’t know what it could be. That he was supposed to put on this red robe was pretty clear, but there had to be a proper attire he had to abide, if he had to guess even the shoes had the be the right ones. He had three pairs in the entrance, plus something that looked like a beret, red as well, and a scarf, again red. What was with red and this place? He pondered if he should immediately break the whole dress code and just go with the clothes he found in a different drawer, those were casual clothes. His consideration ended soon because at least for the first day he wanted to meet the people in the place in peace, not be sent to some punishment. Before putting the robes on, he took a quirk look to the number on his back, it read 77. One less compared to last time. Once again he was at a loss in regard of what caused it to mutate. He had jumped once, but he had already proved to himself that this was not the cause. He tried to dress up in a way that all the layers of the vest seemed to make some sense and put on the beret and scarf as well. He felt very silly.

He left the dependence and followed the others he was seeing in the distance, they were all going to the big building, unsurprisingly. He was wondering if he was supposed to be in one class and which one but as soon as he entered the building he realized something; there was just a handful of people in the whole area. Kokichi doubted there were many different classes at the same time, but maybe they were taking different lessons, like different specializations or maybe different tasks. He recognized some people, like Shinguji and Shirogane, but some were complete strangers to him. He was almost glad for that. The inside of the building was the same color of the inside, Kokichi was reminded of a mausoleum, he just needed to see some tombs and grim reapers flying around and he was pretty much set. He just hoped Kokichi of this time didn’t chose some strange specialization in this place, but considering that he was here in the first place was maybe asking too much of him. Unless he had been forced to come to this place.

He discretely looked around, noticing that everyone was waiting in the large, empty and slightly dark hall, with just some candles and the sunlight coming from the door illuminating it. No one was really going anywhere, so there was probably something that had to be done there before moving in the inside of the building. He started to tap his foot on the floor when ten minutes passed and the most exciting thing that had happened was Shinguji starting a conversation with a girl with black hair that Kokichi had never seen before, he was calling her sister, but considering that Angie called him brother it could not mean anything. Kokichi snorted and observed the five doors in the hall, trying to decide which one to take, he was done waiting. He was about to take the first step when voices were heard from the balcony at the end opposite from the entrance door of the hall. He recognized the female one, unfortunately, so he braced himself to the incoming madness.

“Everyone, welcome to the house of Atua, the one and only God. We have another wonderful day to look forward to, today is such a nice and sunny day! I think it’s perfect for some yoga and landscape painting? Maybe we could even have lunch outside and dance!”

Kokichi grimaced at her cheerful voice. She looked like an animator of a tourist village, a category of human beings Kokichi hated. She was all dressed in yellow, with flower printed all over her vest, Kokichi wondered if it was normal and allowed by the rules or if she was an exception. Next to her appeared a man, way taller than her and clearly older, he had curly light brown hair and an handsome face. The only problem was his smile, he looked friendly and serene on a fist glance but he was just hiding right below the surface his real nature. That guy was completely and definitely convinced that he was the smartest most important person on the planet.

If only he knew how insignificant he was in Kokichi’s eyes. He would have a seizure.

“Thank you, Senior Disciple Angie, for your interesting inputs… but I think we should stick to the rituals today as well.” his voice was a perfect match for him smile. “Which means eating our supper, fulfill our duties for the morning, follow our individual talents and then meditating before lunch. Today is Wednesday, the ritual of Cleansing in the afternoon is mandatory, I don’t want to see anyone missing, like last time.” his voice became a little harder in the end, he even stopped smiling for half a second. Then he smiled again and the friendly attitude returned. “May this day be full of blessings!”

He raised his arms and Angie immediately imitated him, Kokichi noticed a moment too late they weren’t the only ones. He hurried to copy them when they bowed their heads and united their hands high in prayer, he felt the stupidest yet but he kept his composure. Better to compromise a little today and be alive tomorrow. Not that he was going to keep up with this appearance for much longer, he still had not seen Shuichi anywhere, which was not really a good sign for his future in this universe. Finally the farce ended and everyone started to walk toward the same direction, probably the dining room. True to be told Kokichi had already ate something in his dependence, since he didn’t know that there would be a breakfast as the first activity of the day, but he didn’t disagree with the idea of eating something more. In the dependence there was only white rice and prickles, no side dishes whatsoever. Kokichi wanted eggs, sausages, beacon or something sweet!

He followed everyone else, his stomach already contracting happily at the thought of having a second, possibly better, meal, but his hopes were short lived. The room was long, with a single big chandelier at the center, right below was a long table with nothing on it, not even a decoration. He imitated the others as they were sitting down and moments later some adults wearing black vests appeared form a door on the side, carrying a bowl of soup each. They walked behind them and placed the bowls in front of each one of them, they then placed a handkerchief next to it. Kokichi stared at the soup with disappointment replacing his enthusiasm. It was a vegetable soup without a single piece of anything in it, it was basically water slightly colored and flavored. He almost wanted to send a reproaching glare to the person that had served him when he heard them all whispering at the same time “To clean your soul” before they left. They were creepy enough to send a chill down his spine.

Kokichi swallowed the soup in one long sip, wanting to finish this idiocy as soon as possible. It was not that bad, admittedly, but it was still water in Kokichi’s stomach, not much more. When he placed the bowl back on the table everyone else was still drinking. They had their eyes closed, savoring the taste like it was some delicacy. They were supposed to look peaceful and refined, probably, but in Kokichi’s eyes they looked just stupid. The atmosphere was so ridiculous and illogical that no matter how much effort was spent on make it look like it was something ‘divine’ it was still idiotic. The adults in black waited until everyone had finished before taking the bowls away. Kokichi left his seat with a sigh of relief and again followed everyone outside, into a narrow hallway almost completely in the darkness. He refrained from sighing again, was it really necessary, this devilish impression?

The duties of the morning turned out to be cleaning. Kokichi was given a broom in his hands by one of the adults and he was told to clean some temple or something like that. He asked where it was supposed to be and was directed past three hallways and into an inner courtyard. Kokichi was surprised to see a garden in the center of the building, absolutely impossible to see from the outside, that was a perfect square surrounded by colonnade. In the middle of the garden was the ‘temple’ with an altar and a wooden statue at the center. Kokichi was reminded of an Hawaiian totem, was this supposed to be Atua? Who was so stupid to follow a cult like this? Aside for the Kokichi of this universe, obviously.

The answer appeared from a hallway on the left. He was carrying a broom himself, his robes similar yet different from the ones Kokichi was wearing.

So Shuichi was part of this universe after all.


	3. 2nd Playthrough

Kokichi couldn’t believe his luck.

Normally find Shuichi alone was so rare! It didn’t matter which universe, he was always surrounded by people, he had that aura around him that people were interpreting as calm and trustworthy. He was the kind of person that was easy to have around. But Kokichi knew better.

“Oh, look who is here!” he called him cheerfully.

Shuichi raised his head in his direction and met his eyes. When he had entered the courtyard he was walking with his head hung, a frown clearly visible, after he heard Kokichi his face showed surprise for a split second before frowning again.

“Brother Kokichi.” he acknowledged his presence and not much more.

“You got assigned to this spot as well?” Kokichi asked pointing at the broom.

He wondered why he didn’t see him before, he was not with the others in the main hall nor in the dining room. And he had a different robe, with dark gold inserts on each side of the red stripes. Kokichi supposed it meant someone on a higher level.

“I’m always here, this is my duty.” Shuichi’s brows were even more furrowed. “I’m surprised you were assigned here, normally you have to clean your own mess in the morning.”

Information, useful information.

“I didn’t make any mess yesterday, aren’t you happy I was a good kid?” Kokichi smiled but knew he wouldn’t get anything good out of it.

Shuichi was not lighting up at all, he was looking more and more bothered by Kokichi. Something was telling him that he was not supposed to talk to him, probably because he was his superior in the cult. Oh well.

“Let’s get to work.” Shuichi turned his back at him and walked a bit farther away, making clear that he wasn’t interested in talking.

Kokichi didn’t speak with him anymore but he didn’t give up either. He reached the close proximity of where Shuichi was cleaning and started to clean as well sending him smiles and glances every ten seconds. Shuichi didn’t seem amused and ignored him for five minutes before trying to change place, going to the other side of the temple. Kokichi followed him after only three seconds. The scene repeated itself three times before Shuichi entered the small temple and kicked him out telling him he was not allowed inside. Kokichi didn’t want to annoy him to death on the first day so he remained right outside, still sweeping with a smile directed at him. Shuichi turned his back to him until the bells rang again. Before he could decide what to do Shuichi was already in front of him.

“What are you doing still here? You are going to be late to Sister Angie’s talent cultivation.”

“Yonaga’s talent cultivation?” he asked stupidly, Shuichi’s expression told him just how stupid his question was.

“What, have you forgotten? Your duty of copying sacred writings and miniatures and reproducing sacred icons? And don’t call Sister Angie ‘Yonaga.” he added at the end.

“No, no, I haven’t forgotten! I was just wondering what else was for me to learn from her, you know?” he was just pulling stuff out of his ass but it didn’t really matter either way.

Kokichi sucked at drawing, no amount of lies was going to change that.

“Pride is a sin.” Shuichi looked less and less impressed with him by the minute.

He had a feeling this was not going to be the universe where he would finally obtain his affection either.

Finding the correct room meant asking every soul he was meeting on his path. Some people didn’t know where it was, some people refused to answer him or even acknowledge his presence, other were looking at him like he was out of his mind. This confirmed the fact that he had been right in not asking Shuichi for directions, he already wasn’t happy with him even without strange questions. In the end the only person who actually helped him was an adult, a older man with a very bored face who looked ready to fall over and never get up again. When he arrived in the room, finally, he was aware that he was probably incredibly late. Yonaga and two other people were already painting something, white paint smeared on their arms and faces. He walked behind them, avoiding the newspaper on the floor and the fresh paint already splattered on it, and saw what they were paining. It was a big stone carved statue, similar to the one in the temple. Yonaga was the first one to notice him.

“Ah, Brother Kokichi! I was wondering what could have happened to keep you away from Atua’s sweet salvation! You aren’t allowed to waste your talent like this, you know? You still have that icon to finish from last time, go to your workstation. I’ll think of a suited punishment later, I’m birthing art right now, I can’t spare you any thought!”

Kokichi had to keep himself from faking a throw up, he always disliked the girl, now he was reaching amazing new heights. He looked around in the room, to search for ‘his workstation’, and saw a corner with a pile of paint cans and all around a lot of brushes and whatnot. The floor was covered by a sheet of nylon dirtied by drops of different colors. Against the wall were piled up some canvases and on the desk nearby some other art supply that Kokichi didn’t waste time identify. So this is what Shuichi meant when he said he normally was leaving a mess behind. At the very least Kokichi recognized this behavior from himself, he was always too lazy to clean up after himself, especially if it was something he was using often. He just preferred to leave everything were it was so it was already ready the next day. Kokichi stepped on the sheet and took a look at the paint that Kokichi had started before lending his body to him, unwillingly as it was. Unsurprisingly the thing that Kokichi had identified as Atua was at the center of the canvas, the background was black, the representation of the ‘god’ was white, all around were blue lines that looked like geometrical waves and at the bottom were yellow figures that looked like people on their knees, with their hands up toward the god. Only the left half looked completed, the right half had some shapes that were still just outlined and the color was a little less bright, like they needed to be repainted again. On the left side there was half of a golden sun behind Atua, while on the right there was just a empty space on the canvas.

What he needed to do was pretty clear, the point was that Kokichi had never worked with paint before, he didn’t know how to make the right shade of color or even if he could trace a decent looking line. In the school for architecture he was using the rulers to trace a straight line, and he had never been able to do a circle, mostly because he didn’t have the patience to trace it with the compass. He was going to ruin this boring piece of art for sure.

Well, it was a pretty shitty painting anyway, no way someone was going to miss it.

Kokichi tried, not with any particular effort but honestly tried, to make it look decent. He sat on the stool in front of the paint and moved the brush on the canvas. Calling it painting or drawing was a stretch so he didn’t. The color, as expected, was wrong, and the lines were uncertain, a little wobbly at times, they looked nothing like the ones on the other side. At some point he lost control of the brush a little and smeared some yellow on the black. He cleaned it with a piece of cloth but the black still looked a little lighter. Oh well.

When the bells ranged again, Yonaga walked up to him and stared at the paint with her head tilted. Kokichi wasn’t expecting praises.

“Hmmm, Brother Kokichi… how to say this… I feel like your synchronization with Atua is quite low today, maybe you should have a second round of the ritual today, instead of just one!” she smiled peacefully, not a single thought perturbing the surface.

Kokichi already knew he was going to get punished so he didn’t particularly react to her words. With everyone he knew it was useless to try and explain his situation, but with the girl he knew it was useless even to try and reason normally. There was just no getting her in any way.

Kokichi really wanted to know what hour it was, he was a little hungry as well, but in the room there didn’t seem to be any clock. He had a feeling that it was done on purpose, to make people lose completely their feeling of time, to make them lose themselves in the rituals and tasks. He pulled out his phone from the pocket in his pants under the robes and unlocked it to look at the time. A hand snatched it from his grip even before it could completely unlock it.

“My my, what am I seeing here? Technology is tainting everyone’s soul, you already know it’s forbidden in Atua’s sanctuary!” Yonaga hide the phone in her own robes in a flash. “You definitely need to clean your soul Brother Kokichi, I fear that you may have been possessed by some evil spirit of greed!”

Yes, blame the spirits, good thinking. Kokichi could barely contain his disbelief at this clear textbook case of brainwash done by a cult. Cutting off people from technology, the world and the loved ones, and with that the temptations of life and potential voices of reasons, was such a standard technique. It really didn’t take any effort and imagination, it was just a reuse of a path already tried by others. How easy it was to impose a new religion under these conditions, it wasn’t like anyone had anywhere else to go or someone else to ask.

Now he was even more interested to see if he could leave this place or not.

Maybe he could find a way out, convince Shuichi to leave with him and then after he became grateful for his help they would have their happily ever after.

Eh, as if.

“I’m sorry Sister Angie, I don’t know what happened to me today, I had a strange dream tonight and now I feel all confused!” he started to whimper a little, trying to look like a scared little kid.

“There, there.” she patted him on the head, Kokichi resisted the impulse of slapping her hand away. “I understand, don’t worry, Atua will show you the right path again. You just need to trust in it and let it find you, open your heart to Atua!”

The only thing Kokichi was going to open was the door out of this room. Yonaga walked away from him her steps quick and light, like a dancer, her arms swinging back and forth. Kokichi pretended to clean the brushes and clean up the mess he made involuntarily to waste some time and let everyone one else leave before him. When he was finally alone he got up from his stool and started to leave. Walking, he passed by the thing the others were working on and he saw they were covering the stone with white paint. They were only half-way done. Not that it was his business whatsoever.

In the hallway Kokichi wondered what he should do, he tried to think back to the speech the guy gave and he remembered that before lunch there was supposed to be meditation or something like that. Kokichi had never meditated before and he wasn’t interested in starting today. The only question was if he should try and wait to eat something or just beat it now, before someone could try to punish him. He wandered around a little more, the stupid hallways looked all the same to him, they were long, black, with candles and black marble floor that reflected the flames. Every once in a while there was a painting or a door that meant absolutely nothing to Kokichi. Why weren’t they labeled at all? He didn’t meet anyone, and at some point he found stairs up. He had no idea where this meditation was supposed to be so he climbed the stairs.

The scene he stumbled upon in the second floor was a little surprising.

The room was gigantic, not in height but in width, on the left side the wall was actually an integral panel of black glass,  the sun was entering and illuminating everything, a very different atmosphere compared to the first floor. Everything was of black marble and very lucid, the rays of the sun were making the whole room sparkle a little. Why this difference? Looking better at what was in the room his eyes were attracted by a number of toys on the floor. And black pillows. On the other side of the room, opposite to the glass, was a black wall with a desk and blackboard. So this place was a kind of school, but for little kids? Has this Kokichi lived in this place since he was a child? No wait, he had a guardian of some kind, he was in his phone address book. Kokichi stopped making assumptions, he clearly didn’t know enough about the whole situation.

Curious to know more, especially because on the first floor he didn’t see any kid, he opened one of the doors in the wall. On the other side there was a room that was specular to the one he had just left, only the glass was on the opposite side. His eyes were immediately attracted by the backs of at least ten children, all turned the other way.

At the center of all this was… Momota Kaito.

Kokichi’s eyes widened, since when Momota had the right attitude to educate children? Kokichi recognized the robes that he was wearing, they were the same he had seen Shuichi wearing. So they were both of a higher rank compared to Kokichi and the others he had met on the first floor. He started to see a pattern in all this. The question now was why they were in a different position. He needed some background on them all.

Momota noticed him and frowned.

“You, what are you doing here? This is the time for meditation.”

The kids all turned toward him like a wave and he found himself stared down by more than twenty eyes.

“Yeah, sorry! I was searching for the bathroom!” he smiled aware that no one was going to fall for this.

“It doesn’t matter what you were searching for, this floor is for the children of Atua only, you outsider should not climb here, whatever reason you have. You have not purified enough.” Momota’s voice had a certain edge of dangerousness, like this rule was very important.

“Hey, don’t be so biased, I showered this morning.” he didn’t actually, but that wasn’t relevant.

“Stop being a smartass with me, I was born in the land of Atua so you can’t be so disrespectful with us, go back where you belong! I’ll make sure to tell Sister Angie about your misbehaver. This isn’t the first time you are taking advantage of us, remember that we were very magnanimous in letting you in even if you come from the outside world!”

Ohhh, that explained a lot. So the hierarchy in this place was based on where they had been born. These kids and the people with the different robes were probably second generation believers or something like that so they were automatically higher in ranks. Kokichi came here from the outside for some reason and so he still ‘needed to prove his faith’ or some bullshit like that. Amazing.

So Shuichi and Momota were premium believers and Angie probably something like a third generation saint.

“Yes, so very magnanimous, I’ll never forget your generosity your majesty, I bow to your splendor and grandiosity, I’ll never be able to compare to you and blah blah. I got all I wanted from you so I’m leaving.” Kokichi turned and walked through the door he just passed.

“All right, this is enough with your insolence, come back here, I’ll drag you personally to the cells!” Momota shouted at his back before Kokichi could close the door.

Cells, hm? Kokichi wasn’t interested. He slammed the door and started to run. He ran down the stairs two steps at a time, returning to the first floor and thinking about what to do. There was no reason for him to go back. He had tried to stay calm and adapt to the situation for a while before fucking it all up, but alas it came down to this. He had annoyed Yonaga and Momota, two people high in the ranks, and Shuichi wasn’t very interested in him already, like always. It was better to run away for now and once he was outside he could decide if he wanted to change universe or try to get Shuichi out as well. Something was telling him that he wouldn’t want to come anyway, but that was a minor problem.

Kokichi had memorized a little the layout of the first floor, even without trying, so it was not difficult for him to find again the entrance that was still open. He peeked outside of the doors, he was wary because he had not met anyone yet. He soon had an answer to his perplexity, everyone was on the grass outside, each sitting on a mat. Yonaga was at the front, sitting with her eyes closed and a smile on her lips, everyone else was behind her, their eyes were closed as well but they weren’t smiling. Only her could pull off this aura of serenity in such a silly context, no one else could even vaguely resemble at peace. Kokichi cheered internally at his luck and sneaked away, careful not to make any sound. He returned to his own dependence to see if there was anything useful and to plan a little. Unfortunately Yonaga had stolen his phone, so that could be a problem if he was to get lost in the woods, but he could not steal it back in front of all those people.

The only useful thing he found in his dependence was the change of clothes, and he immediately changed, running in a forest in robes looked pretty stupid and dangerous. He ate in a hurry as well, he was starving but in the little house there was very little in terms of food. When he left the atmosphere was unchanged, everyone was still meditating in the sun, it seemed that Momota had not decided to hunt him down like a rabbit immediately. Maybe he thought he was too big a shot to lower himself to chase a lowlife like Kokichi who was just a _first generation believer._ What kind of insult was that even.

The temperature dropped fast once Kokichi was in the woods. The sun could not reach and the terrain was humid and bare, there wasn’t even a nice bed of leaves that could make the ground look more comfortable, only dead branches. The forest was in the shadow but Kokichi could still see where he was going, thanks to the fact that it was day and not night, he could see himself get lost in seconds in the darkness. It was not especially scary or unwelcoming, but the trees looked almost dead. They were definitely alive, with nice green leaves, but the bark was all of a dark brown, almost black, and it looked like it was there since a century ago. The only two things Kokichi feared were animals and getting lost, he wasn’t sure himself which one was the more likely. The trees were all identical, they were no good to orientate himself, but the landscape was not all the same luckily, he could recognize always where he was thanks to some short ravine or maybe a hill. At some point he found a river and his spirits raised even more, if he could follow that one day he would arrive somewhere. Hopefully he would arrive somewhere _in this_ day, but in any event surely there had to be something along the river at some point.

Kokichi started to actually worry once he heard the ocean.

There was no proof that this place was an island, but Kokichi was already certain it was. It made too much sense for it not to be. What better place to keep people hostages in a cult than a small, remote island? If they had control of the boats as well then no one could hope to escape, not without risk and steal one of them. The trees started to get scarce and the light shined on the body of water in front of him, it was indeed the sea. Kokichi had to abandon the river because it was running inside a crevasse and Kokichi was not suicidal, he descended on the side, following the shot cliff to the shore. He reached the farther point before touching the water directly and sat down on the moist sand, his heart empty and desolated. Obviously he could follow the line of the shore to search for something, like a boathouse, a bridge or even a magical portal to another dimension, but he didn’t. There was no need to search for a magical portal, he himself was the portal, if he wanted to leave he just needed to do as much.

He sighed, this visit in this universe had been really short, but there was no reason to stay. This took too much effort out of him to solve and it was not worth to bear with Yonaga and Momota of all people. It was maybe irrational of him but Momota in particular was a person he didn’t want to be around anymore, not since he was a kid.

“Well then, why am I not surprised to see that you escaped? A misbeliever and a coward too.” and there he was, Momota was only on time when he could displease Kokichi the most.

Kokichi didn’t insult him for his words only because it was a waste of breath to acknowledge him. He turned in time to see him getting off a motorcycle, he was so focused on the ocean and his own displeasure that he didn’t hear him coming. Kokichi hated him a little more, why was he getting a cool motorcycle to drive around? This shouldn’t be allowed. He shouldn’t be allowed to look cooler than him.

“You are coming back with me and you are going in the isolation cell until your mind finally clean up once and for all.” he grabbed Kokichi’s arm and raised him up forcefully. “I knew we shouldn’t have let you join in the first place, Sister Angie insisted because you are a good artist but I knew you were not worth the trouble.” he started to talk to himself.

 Kokichi tugged to get his arm back but Momota was way stronger than him, and older in this reality it seemed. Kokichi wondered for a second if he wanted to force him on the motorcycle, which was a very stupid method to travel with a prisoner considering the balance was important, but that was not the case. Momota abandoned the motorcycle behind and dragged him down the shore for a good while. Kokichi started to be annoyed and he protested against him in increasingly loud voice, but Momota ignored everything he said. After a solid ten minutes Kokichi heard voices and when he looked ahead he saw a bunch of people with the same robe as Momota running toward them.

“You found him!” someone shouted.

“He hasn’t gotten that far has he? Where was he thinking he could go?” someone laughed.

“Good job Brother Kaito, you are always the fastest!” someone patted him on the shoulder.

“Of course I am, I’m Kaito, you can always count on me!” Momota smiled widely, clearly proud of himself.

Kokichi was beyond disgusted, Momota was always fast to put himself in the position of the mighty hero, as long as someone was willing to give him that title, and sometimes even when no one was there to do so. Everyone was looking at him like he had just done an incredible feat, the respect that was sent his way was very concrete. Kokichi looked at all the smiling faces and wanted to punch and kick them, they shouldn’t smile at _him._ It didn’t matter what Momota had done in this universe, he was forever corrupted and ruined for Kokichi, he could not trust him ever.

The guys dragged him to a pick-up and forced him on its passenger seat, Kokichi was surprised to see Shuichi on it as well. The guy looked at him for a split second and then looked away, his face not friendly at all. Kokichi hurried to sit next to him, if he was going back to hell for a few more moments then he wanted to get the most of it before then.

“Are you here to drag me back to my room and punish me as well? For what, having skipped the morning nap on the grass with Yonaga?” Kokichi tilted his head staring at him.

Shuichi glared at him and refused to answer him or look his direction again. Momota started to drive them away, Shuichi’s muscles relaxed a little when he appeared by his side, like he was feeling more safe with him present. Was he worried that Kokichi could attack him physically? With his whole 44 kilograms? He hadn’t weighted himself in this dimension but his average was always pretty much the same. Momota had picked him up like he was made of air so it couldn’t be that far off.

The rest of the ride back to the big black hole of cultists was completely silent, Kokichi started to flirt discretely with Shuichi, but was met with a study wall of hard indifference. For the sake of the Kokichi that maybe was going to live in this body after this mess he kept it a little more tame than he could’ve but he took some pleasure seeing at the very least how Momota was reacting, all disgusted. There was probably nothing Kokichi could do to disgust him more, aside maybe spit on Atua statues. That would probably get him killed thought. Outside the black building Yonaga was waiting with her big smile, completely unaffected once again.

“We caught him, Sister!” Momota yelled enthusiastically. “I propose to send him to heavy handiworks, he should be banned from our community and work for us without any right until the end of his life on the island of Atua.”

Shuichi didn’t say anything, he didn’t agree nor disagree. Kokichi tried the puppy eyes on him and he frowned looking away. Nope, try again next life.

“Nonsense!” Yonaga yelled happily. “Brother Kokichi’s artistic sense is too precious to lose, have you forgotten that half the temple of the East wing and the whole temple of the third floor is covered by his pieces? The one with the landscape of the holy land of Atua is especially impressive, Father was impressed by it!”

Something was telling Kokichi that this famous landscape thing was a normal landscape painting that these idiots had just arbitrarily decided it was the ‘holy land of Atua’.

“That’s true, but he shouldn’t be left alone, this attitude is harmful for the community, he is a bad example, he has to be punished.” Shuichi spoke up for the first time.

Kokichi tried his ‘kicked puppy’ face next. Momota peeked from behind Shuichi and made an ugly face at him. He then whispered into Shuichi’s ear.

“Why is that creep being so clingy with you? What’s the history between you two?”

“Hey don’t talk behind my back!” Kokichi tried to protest but everyone ignored him.

“Don’t ask me, he is severely annoying.” Shuichi answered the question without looking at him.

Yep, old good normality, it wasn’t Shuichi if he didn’t find him annoying.

“So Sister, what kind of punishment should he receive?” Momota was clearly unsatisfied but he was going to follow orders.

“Bring him into the isolation cell, he will remain there with only the holy soup of Atua for a week!” Yonaga smiled like she had just said something cute and nice.

Second yep, Kokichi was getting the fuck out of this universe as soon as he was left alone.

Shuichi didn’t comment, Momota instead grabbed him and started to drag him away. Kokichi waved to Shuichi one last time, then let himself being dragged. On the way Momota was complimented by three or four more people, every person was making him raise his head and puff his chest a little more. Kokichi wanted to poke him and see him pop. He got dragged to the back of the black building and then down to some stairs hidden behind a painting, a secret dungeon on the basement of a cult building, such a cliché. The isolation cell looked like a stone well bottom, there was only two old, and probably dirty, rags on the floor, not even a bed. Looking up he saw moss covering a grate that was probably originally the mouth of the well. What if it rained? These people were ridiculous, he felt pity for everyone actually stuck here, for two seconds at least.

“There, you’ll get two soups a day.” Momota pushed him in and prepared to close the door.

“You must be feeling very proud of yourself, like a real hero, right?” Kokichi shot one last spat of venom at him.

That remark seemed to strike a nerve in him, and Kokichi was happy about it. Even if he didn’t do anything in this universe he still should feel ashamed of himself, period.

Momota slammed the door and Kokichi sat down on the rags preparing for a new journey to the unknown.

* * *

 

 

**Save state?**

**> Yes**

**No**

**Type the element to transfer over:**

**> Momota Kaito’s presence.**

**Confirm?**

**> Yes**

**No**

**Save state completed. Please wait.**

**Loading…**


	4. -125th Playthrough

The first time Kokichi traveled he was very young, five years old more or less, he couldn’t remember clearly.

Maybe he traveled even before than that, but if it happened Kokichi was too little to notice or see the differences, so he started to count his ‘jumps’ from that one time, the one that was so memorable that he could not forget it even if he wanted to. He was too little, at the time, to understand that his family was not normal, and for this reason even now he didn’t really know what was wrong with it, aside from that one big event that changed his life. Sometimes it was bugging him, not knowing this native family well enough to even know why it happened or at least what kind of people they were to go that far, but most of the time he was happy he had a way out, compared to many other people in a similar situation. Unless every people in his situation were jumpers like him, but that was too weird to think about so he wouldn’t do it. Sometimes he almost hoped that it was not his actual native family, but one he found by chance by jumping as a baby.

The ‘big event’ in his life was when his mother tried to throw him off the roof of a building.

No, not tried, she threw him, ‘that Kokichi’ was dead, but he had jumped away before the impact so he never actually ‘died’. It was one day, one like any other probably because Kokichi could not remember anything happening before that, but he knew that at some point his mother started screaming at him. The only thing Kokichi could vaguely recall was that she was stressed and she blamed him for adding to it. He couldn’t remember where his father was at the time, but it didn’t matter either way. They weren’t at home, they were somewhere outside, maybe a mall, and then she grabbed him. Kokichi could remember her nails scratching his waist as she was raising him, even through the clothes. He could remember the iron grip on his back as she was leaning him off the handrail… and then the strength she used to toss him away, like something she was already over it.

These were the sensations he took with him in his ‘new life’.

For a long while he had nightmares of falling, but since he was now safely living in an orphanage he tried to convince himself that he had dreamt it all. Kids tend to get used to the news faster than adults, so he soon adapted to his new life. Being so young the people working in the orphanage didn’t really pay any attention to him and all the odd things he was saying about his parents and previous life. Actually, since they didn’t know the circumstances of his parents’ death in this universe, they convinced themselves Kokichi had somehow recovered the memories of when he was a baby and lost them.

And a weird number appeared on his back.

The first time someone saw it they said the number was 497. For a tattoo it was very strange, not to mention who would make a tattoo on a little kid? But the people in the orphanage freaked out for real only when the number started to change. Every once in a while the number would decrease by some units, the first time Kokichi remembered seeing it on the mirror himself it was already down to 438. They took him to every kind of doctor and pediatrician but they had to accept reality: that number was just printed on his skin like indelible marker.

Aside from that Kokichi lived like any other kid, day by day.

Kokichi’s orphanage was not very big, the kids in there were less than fifty and so Kokichi got to know most of them. Until he had to go to school he played only with those kids, forming a strong friendship with some of them, especially the three he was sharing the room with. When he was six he entered elementary school, the building was just on the other side of the street, so they were always the first ones to arrive, urged on by the workers of the orphanage. The first impact had been quite bad, none of them were used to strangers even if they were kids like them, and as Kokichi discovered a little later, this school was on the outskirt of the city, where kids were often much more rebellious than the norm. Two factions started to form in every class, the kids from the orphanage and the kids from the neighborhood. Obviously the former was way smaller and was getting the short end of the stick. Kokichi started to move around only with his three friends, scared to be beaten otherwise.

One of the three was called Momota Kaito.

Kaito was the most bright and positive kid Kokichi knew, he was always talking big, about winning and conquering. Kokichi, as a naïve kid, looked up to him even too much, he believed everything he was saying like it was a fact. Kaito was the one leading the group of the orphan kid around school, motivating everyone and antagonizing the other group actively. Looking back at it, Kokichi realized it had been all his fault, from start to finish.

Everything started with standard bullying like stealing and throwing things, but then the first punches started to fly. That too, thinking back at it, was Kaito’s fault, he was the first one to punch. Kokichi never really liked violence, and when he was little he was not even capable of protecting himself, so he spent the rest of the school year hiding behind everyone else. In his mind he was still considering Kaito like a superhero but a part of him was almost able to see the future, and so he could see that the situation was not going to get any better unless an adult was involved, but Kokichi was too coward to call for help with the adults. During the second year the fight moved even outside school. When Kaito learned that the kids of the neighborhood had claimed an old and rusty park as their own he decided they had to ‘steal it back’. The reason why he could ever want a rusty old park was irrelevant, it was a simple matter of jealousy and pride. Being a little older, they had the permission to leave the orphanage for a couple hours, and it's easy to imagine what Kaito decided to do with that new freedom.

The kids that had occupied the park were not happy about Kaito’s intrusion, obviously.

After more or less a month where the situation started to get bad fast, they ended up in an actual fight. The neighborhood kids were not stupid, however, and they knew the number of people living in the orphanage was not high, not to mention the adults in there were never going to help them, more like scold them if they returned with some bruise. If that was to happen it was possible they would be forbidden to leave the orphanage at all, forcing them to remain inside. That, in Kaito’s mind, sounded like a defeat. In other word the other kids had the overwhelming advantage on the whole deal, since they were a whole lot more than them and their parents were used to them coming back with scratches. They didn’t need to pass any examination from the governative officers.

The fight was won even before it was actually fought, and no, Kaito was not on the winning side.

The guys that were a little more buffed than the others escaped after getting beat up four on one, the girls remained on the side and escaped once the lineup started to thin. Kaito lunged into the heat of the fight and was beat up just like everyone else, while Kokichi remained behind. The whole action lasted more or less five minutes and Kokichi hesitated a moment too long, because he could see that Kaito was still surrounded by guys and he probably needed help. Not that Kokichi could ever be the help he needed, but someone was better than no one. At that time Kokichi was still thinking that abandoning someone to their destiny was a bad thing to do.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Everyone is born alone and lives alone, Kokichi more than everyone else.

A kid grabbed Kokichi from behind choking him with his arm and rising him from the ground. Kokichi was so small and tiny that even the other kids could pick him up easily. The grasp was not strong enough to hurt or actually suffocate Kokichi but he was scared enough that his throat closed on its own, helping the panic even more. He let out a shriek, trying to catch Kaito’s attention, but it was too weak. Another three kids helped the one that was keeping his trapped and they dragged him away, at the edge of the park. After they reached the location they apparently wanted, Kokichi got slammed on the ground and they kept him in place, all of them together. Another one called up to Kaito that was now bleeding from the nose.

“Hey, look we caught your little friend! If you want him back come here and take his place, you’ll get what’s coming to you and then you’ll have to give up on this place and at school. We will teach you a lesson that you’ll never forget and your tutors at the orphanage are going to get even more mad at you.” the kid paused, and everyone else with him, waiting for Kaito to make a decision. Kokichi’s heart was beating loudly in his chest and ears. Kaito didn’t answer, he just cleaned some of the blood from his nose, smearing it on his cheek. “Even if you don’t take his place we are going to beat him up and the situation won’t change. Do you think they will still let you out after getting one of you beaten up?”

Kokichi remembered staring into Kaito’s face, his mind completely empty, in wait. He remembered Kaito’s eyes searching for his, then looking the kids one after the other, in the end they returned onto him. Kokichi knew Kaito’s answer in that moment, he read it into his eyes. He didn’t want to believe it, so he inhaled sharply and remained silent.

The feeling of betrayal when Kaito turned and ran away, abandoning him behind, was so strong Kokichi thought his heart broke.

Maybe it did.

He wouldn’t be able to tell, not after they started to kick him, with probably more violence that they would have used previously, because now they were even more pissed. Kokichi called Kaito’s name at least ten times, then he couldn’t speak anymore. He didn’t jump, he didn’t know yet how or even if it was really a thing, so he remained there until he lost consciousness.

He didn’t know if the jump was activated by his strong will to leave or by the fact that he was in danger, but when he woke up he was in a room he had never seen before. In an universe with parents and a normal school and no Kaito Momota anywhere.

He had nightmares for a whole week after that, and in every one of them Kaito’s face was very, very present.

It didn’t matter if the other Kaito in the other dimensions were not responsible for it.

Kaito was no hero, and everyone should know it.


	5. 3rd Playthrough

When Kokichi came to his senses, in the new universe, he saw five familiar faces around him and he immediately lost all the hunger that this Kokichi supposedly had, considering he was eating potato chips sitting on the floor in a circle with the others.

The room he had woken up into was much like the usual dormitory rooms he had visited multiple times spread in a bunch of different universes, so it felt familiar even thought the furniture and colors were unknown to him. It was a small room, the campus was probably equipped with all kind of facilities because he could only see the bathroom door and the entrance door, there wasn’t any kitchen or extra room. But there were two beds, one per wall, so they probably were sharing a room with someone. Assuming that Kokichi was living here or in a similar room obviously. It could be there for a simple visit and nothing else.

He dropped the potato chips bag on the floor, at the center of the circle of people, and looked at them all listening to what they were saying.

“I can’t believe they really pulled that shit out on us today!” said Kaito, the superhero.

“Like this is the first time…” sighed Kiibo.

“No, it may not be the first time but they are gathering more and more courage because they have seen that we don’t fight back.” answered calmly Amami.

“How are we supposed to fight back? They have the Student Council President on their side, it’s in our class, we are just unlucky.” Shuichi’s lips furrowed.

Kokichi had no idea what they were talking about but they looked tense and unhappy. He was a little surprise to start off as a ‘friend’ of Shuichi, or even just ally, it was a first. Maybe this time his job would be easier?

“I’d say we punch her in the face!” Kaito grunted.

“Violence is not good!” Gonta exclaimed from the other side of the circle. “Gonta don’t think that punching girl is a good thing!”

“It’s not like she doesn’t punch us!” Kaito raised a fist.

Why Kokichi was getting such a strong sense of déjà vu? Ugh.

“Seriously Kaito. We are not at that age were fighting with girls is acceptable, we should be more careful and proper. We don’t want everyone to hate us, right?” Amami tried to be the voice of reason.

Kokichi wanted some popcorns, this looked like a movie or a script for a recital. It was almost like they were acting, considering how silly the things they were saying were. What was all this old fashion talking about beating up girls?

“Tsk.” Kaito clicked his tongue. “All right, I’ll stay put for now. But really, we need to do something, we can’t let them keep going like this!”

“Okay, let’s drop it for tonight, I think everyone is tired and tomorrow we have the punishment. Good night everyone.” said Amami getting to his feet.

Shuichi got up as well and wished good night in a whisper not really directed to anyone, Gonta and Kaito followed suit. Kiibo got up for last and accompanied the others to the door. Kokichi jumped on his feet, realizing that maybe he needed to leave as well but when Kiibo chatted a bit more with the others on the door, effectively blocking the path with his body, he got the feeling he was supposed to stay in there. He took advantage of the fact to look around a little more.

He couldn’t see anything more than what he saw the first time he looked, so he quickly opened the drawer on the right, to see if the things inside were his size or not. They didn’t look like it, they were more suited for Kiibo’s size so he hurried to take a look into the one on the left. The color scheme, size and typology was more similar to something that Kokichi would want to wear so he felt more at ease. The bed on the left was probably his.

He felt around the pockets of his shorts and felt a cellphone in one of them. He opened it quickly to scan his history, like he was always doing every time he was changing universe. Inside were the numbers of all the guys that were in the room until a moment ago plus Hoshi’s and other names he didn’t recognize. The text messages were telling a similar story.

The first universe where he was friends with a bunch of guys he knew, now this was fresh.

Kiibo closed the door and looked at him, pausing mid motion, seeing him hurry for the desk and taking the first piece of paper that he could find.

“What are you doing…?” he asked after a while.

“Writing down my memorial in case I’m going to die anytime soon.” he answered, not bothering to look away from what he was doing.

“Hm…?” Kiibo didn’t seem to know how to continue from there, which was a good thing because Kokichi wasn’t going to explain.

_Universe 129; Previous – Crazy Cultists (CC for short!)_

Kokichi nodded at his masterpiece. It was concise, easy to understand and very representative of reality.

“So, Kiibo-chan, is bedtime already or are we doing something before that?” he asked smiling, hoping to get some information about the schedule of this place.

Was there a curfew, regulations? Or was it left to the students discretions? They mentioned a Student Council, so it had to be a school, but he should avoid take it for granted, there were cases where he wasn’t going to school but doing something else.

“Kiibo-chan…?” the guy looked perplexed, but that had to be his name right? If one thing was for certain was that all the people he recognized had always the same name. He would go mental if he had to memorize hundreds of names for the same face. “No, not really, do you want to do something Ouma-san?”

Ouma-san? Ah, so they were in formal terms, the reason why he looked so perplexed was because he used the –chan with him. He wondered for a moment what kind of person was this Kokichi but he shoved the thought away. It didn’t matter in the slightest. He had to take a good look at his text messages though, they could help him a lot.

“Ah, I was just wondering if we had some homework for tomorrow or not. Since we have a punishment and all that, you know? I was trying to plan ahead.” it was kind of a stretch, there was no telling if this Kokichi was interested in academics or not, but this was the best he could to considering the limited information he had.

Kiibo seemed to relax, his shoulder fell a little.

“Oh, right. In fact I think we have some math homework for the day after tomorrow, maybe we should start it, considering that you are such a diligent student it would be a waste to let the punishment compromise your results.” he nodded to himself.

Okay, so Kokichi was a diligent student and was speaking formally with his roommate. He had a better feel for the situation now. One conjecture raised naturally, was this some kind of elite school? Maybe, but considering that Gonta and Kaito were there he had some doubts. Kaito was smart, but only when ass was attached to the word smart, while Gonta was… differently smart. Kokichi didn’t hate Gonta, it was difficult to hate him, but it was really easy to be frustrated at him, and so he was. Gonta was too naïve for his own good and that was infuriating. He had seen him in many different universes and he had the misfortune of hanging out with the worst subjects possible, like Iruma or Yonaga. Kokichi knew it was not his fault, not really, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was choosing the worst people on purpose, just to make him feel bad. Well, if he was going to end up dead or as a pornstar it wasn’t really Kokichi’s fault or anything, so he wouldn’t care.

Kiibo took one of the desks for himself and opened his textbooks. Kokichi wasn’t really a role model student himself so maybe he should just go to sleep, but considering that he had been the one to bring up the subject he would look like a lunatic to be the one not doing it. Kiibo had started study because of him too, probably. He didn’t really care but maybe a break would do Kokichi some good. Last universe had been half a nightmare to deal with.

The math problems were kind of difficult, Kokichi already knew he was going to ruin this Kokichi’s reputation before he exhausted the uses he had for this place. He did the first three as well as he could, and then just run through the last two with little to none interest, leaving them half undone. Kokichi pretended to have done everything correctly and closed everything. Kiibo glanced at him but he apparently had not finished yet so he returned to his work, luckily he didn’t ask for his answers because they were probably all wrong. He scanned his possessions in the drawer and chose the best pajama he could find, he checked the number on his back that as expected was still the same, then he buried himself in the sheets and turned his back at the room. It wasn’t the first time he had shared a room with someone else, in fact it was the fifth time, so he wasn’t bothered by it, but he still preferred best to be alone. Maybe he would not linger too much in this place either, it all depended on the quality of life during the rest of the day.

The next morning he wore his uniform, a normal one thank god, and followed Kiibo down a set of stairs to the cafeteria that was inside the dormitory. They emerged from one side of the large room, and immediately noticed something peculiar. He had been in a lot of different dining rooms of sort, but this was the first time he could see such a clear division in the sitting position. In most places there was some mixing, while girls liked best to hang out with other girls, same with males, there were mixed tables all over the place anyway, maybe a little unbalanced, in one gender or another. In this cafeteria the half closer to Kokichi was mostly completely male, while the other half was almost entirely female. Only a couple tables had mixed gender occupants and they were at the edges of the building, like they were trying to be out of everyone’s way.

Kokichi followed Kiibo, a little confused. Unsurprisingly after getting his food he walked toward a table filled with familiar faces plus some unfamiliar ones. The same people from the night before, minus Gonta plus Hoshi, were seated at the same table. Shuichi and Amami were next to each other, Kiibo sat down on their left, Kaito and Hoshi were on the opposite side, facing the ‘female section’. Kokichi sat there, but luckily a random guy was in the middle so he didn’t have to sit next to Kaito.

It was immediately evident that Kaito was staring daggers at someone.

Kokichi almost wanted to force himself not to care, but his curiosity got the best of him. Following his line of sight he ended up glancing at a table full of females. He recognized some of the faces immediately, to his displeasure. Yumeno, Chabashira and Akamatsu were all sitting next to each other and chatting, a smile on their faces. The mood at that table was the complete opposite from the one he was sitting. The girls looked like they were having a lot of fun, the tension at the male table could be cut with a knife.

“So are we really going to the punishment later?” Kaito asked, clear aggressiveness in his voice.

“Kaito-kun, enough already! It’s our last year, we need to lay low and get out of here in peace. I don’t want to have to deal with the girls longer than necessary.”

Girls, Student Council, punishment… Kokichi was starting to see a pattern.

But the food was decent, especially considering the previous universe.

After breakfast Kokichi followed the others, it turned out that Gonta and Rantaro were in another class but as Kokichi suspected he was in the same class as Kiibo, Kaito and Shuichi. Oh, and Hoshi too. Once he was in the room he stopped, unsure of where he was supposed to sit. From his experience he knew that the best way was to stop and look around, there was always someone that, being on the desk next to his, would look at him and maybe ask ‘why are you not sitting?’. So he did just that, he waited for someone to call him. His surprise was great when it turned out that the person calling him was Shuichi himself. He sat down in a hurry, to avoid letting his shock be shown.

What was this luck? Kokichi was unlucky by definition, this couldn’t be real.

Kokichi pinched his cheek, but nothing happened aside from the obvious pain. Kokichi wasn’t really thinking he was dreaming, he just wanted to try the trope for himself, for once. It was nothing special after all, he trashed that entry in the list of ‘things to do before dying’. Kind of disappointing, in real life it wasn’t as dramatic as in anime and manga.

So, this universe was heaven or hell? It could be either easily. Either Shuichi was the usual, unchanging solid point and this was his best opportunity to befriend him yet, or this was hell. Hell meant him having finally changed, become something different. If there was something Kokichi feared greatly was to lose _Shuichi_. It didn’t matter which one, just the entity called _Shuichi._ He had to be a constant, he had to be.

Or else what was the point of Kokichi’s life…?

His mind still had some catch up to do, for that reason he didn’t pushed it by trying to interact with Shuichi, he just rested quietly by his side for the whole morning. The lessons were completely normal, Kokichi could not spot a specific theme to this school, which was a good thing, Kokichi didn’t like specialist schools so much. He didn’t have any talent that could be useful in any of them. He had been so distracted that he failed to notice that Chabashira and Yumeno were in the same class as him and Kaito was staring with murdering eyes at them.

During lunch break Shuichi left immediately and Kokichi wondered if he should follow or not, thinking ahead, he would come back later to follow the last two lessons of the day. He remained where he was taking advantage of the fact that he was now Shuichi-less to study the room. He saw the same situation from the cafeteria reflected in the classroom arrangement, and now even the small groups that were forming in the classroom were mono gender. Kokichi was starting to wonder why they were acting like this was an all-male/all-female school since it was clearly not. What was their problem?

“Hey, degenerate male, I hope you haven’t forgotten that you owe us the cleaning of the bathroom after school!” Chabashira’s voice resonated loudly in the room, making everyone turn her direction.

Kaito got on his feet in a hurry, a belligerent look on his face.

“Is that how you talk in public, Miss Student Council President?” he barked at her, mocking her.

President? _Chabashira?_

“I can talk the way I want, until you degenerates learn some manners! How dare you make sweet Himiko trip on the stairs?” she shouted back.

“I already told you, it was an accident! She is so small I didn’t see her, we were just talking and walking, being a male has nothing to do with it! She should have looked where she was going!”

“Listen to this! This degenerate has the cockiness to speak this way about the Vice President! Unbelievable! Unforgivable!”

Kokichi’s head was full of cotton, what was going on here exactly? Since when Chabashira had had this attitude and a position of power over Kaito?

Another example of how different people were in each universe. Kokichi regretted not following Shuichi outside when he could’ve, before it was too late. Kaito raised his fist, his anger reaching the boiling point that Kokichi found very familiar. He supposed there were some things that never really changed, even in other people.

“Stop acting like only males make mistakes! Just because you are in charge of the school it doesn’t mean you are always right!”

“And yet!” she stood as tall as she could. “Males are violent creatures who always resort to violence, you are all stupider than the average girl, can’t see anything more profound that what’s in front of your nose and only see girls for their boobs or asses, never really learning who to respect them! You and your friends almost hurt Yumeno, and after we graciously decided to leave you off the hook with just a punishment you started to rebel against the hierarchy of the school like gorillas, be grateful we haven’t expelled you yet!”

All the males in the room hung their head and looked at the floor. Okay, _what_ was going on there? This almost looked like…

Kaito opened his mouth after inhaling sharply, probably to spat some other spiteful worlds at her, but Kiibo stood in front of him, his hands on Kaito’s shoulders.

“Alright, this is enough, we are going to the punishment, please forgive him, Student Council President.” he spoke firmly, both to calm Kaito and pacify Chabashira.

“This is the last time, that degenerate is the worst of all. Males like him tend to become a problem in society later on, if he doesn’t change his ways we need an exemplar punishment. We won’t tolerate this attitude toward girls, not in this school, not in this world. Remember that!” and with her last warning she left the room with a flourish.

After that, for some reason, most of the girls in the room shot them a smirk and then left as well. The males whispered something or another and Kaito uselessly shouted at the closed door some nasty insults. Kokichi was left alone wonder how something that looked so foolish and worthy of a middle school kid was treated like it was vital in this school. Was he the only one to think that it was way blown out of proportion?

Kokichi ate lunch with a silent and pensive Kiibo, Kaito luckily had disappeared somewhere, probably to left off some steam. The following hours passed without too many problems, but Kokichi was keeping his eyes peeled, catching as many details about the school as he could. His intuition was getting more clear every passing moment, and he was baffled. Why so many crazy shit universes existed, what was the point? Some of these really should not exist. He was still holding back his judgment on this one, but just barely.

After the end of all the lessons for the day another familiar face appeared, a scowl of disapproval on her face. Akamatsu.

“Alright, let’s not waste any time, since I’m part of the Student Council I was charged with the task of looking after you during the punishment. I want to leave as soon as possible so let’s move!”

Kokichi was surprised to see all the males, included Shuichi, put up an hostile face at her. She was always a male favorite, this was a little different compared to what Kokichi had seen so far. Not that he was surprised, it was normal for them to be different. Her bossy attitude was nothing new, she used it often with Kokichi, but the hostility between the two sides was peculiar and odd.

She led them all, Kokichi resigned himself to a punishment he never deserved, to a bathroom. The male bathroom. She remained at the door, closing her nose with her fingers.

“This place his hideous, how can you males handle this filth?” she asked, clearly happy to have something nasty to say.

To be fair, it was kind of disgusting, the floor was dirty with small pieces of toilet paper that had been abandoned instead of thrown away, and the smell was not pleasant, at all. But Kokichi had seen worst, this was a normal public bathroom used by males that didn’t care about keeping it clean. The bathrooms in their privates room were surely cleaner, because they cared about it, but Kokichi didn’t know many males that cared about keeping clean a public area with no benefit involved. So he supposed Akamatsu was not entirely wrong…

“Hey, our bathrooms are clean! Don’t just assume all of us live in this situation!” Kaito said a part of what was on Kokichi’s mind.

“One would hope!” she answered, not losing her edge at all.

“The condition of this bathroom is the responsibility of many males in the school, not just us, it’s a little unfair to expect us to take it all on us.” Amami tried to be reasonable.

“So what? This is a punishment, it’s supposed to be something you don’t want to do! If anything you should be happy you are given the possibility to learn, first hand, how good it is to keep things clean when you can, instead of having to clean them later when they are beyond saving! It’s a very important lesson that you males have to learn!”

Kokichi’s idea of this school and universe was correct, wasn’t it? It definitely was.

They were given rugs, sponges and buckets, plus a vast assortments of chemicals to deal with the germs and filth of this not-so-little bathroom. Even if they were six there was enough to clean for them all but the worst part was that someone had to clean the toilets themselves. As soon as everyone realized this problem everyone ignored it straight on, hoping that someone else would clean them so they hadn’t to do it themselves. Of course no one did, all they achieved was to slow down minute by minute the other work and end up after half an hour with still quite a bit to clean.

Akamatsu was enraged.

“Are you all stupid or something?! I told you I wanted to do it quick, why are you all slacking off like this!” she shouted at them.

They all turned to glare at her, which made her even more annoyed. Kokichi ignored them all, he wasn’t going to touch these filthy things, this was not his universe so he didn’t care. He realized a moment after thinking so that he had just proved Akamatsu’s previous point, that males only cared about their own things and not communal ones. Oh well.

“We are doing our best, why don’t you help us if you are in such a hurry?!” Kaito shouted back at her.

Akamatsu’s face opened in honest shock.

“What did you say…? How can you even say it, with what courage… That’s not a _girl’s_ job, it’s a _male’s_ job!” her shock was a hundred percent genuine, she really could not believe he had say it. It lasted only a moment longer, then she went back to her angry face. “I really cannot believe you, _know your place,_ how can you be so disrespectful?”

“Just because we are males it doesn’t mean we are any less of a human that you are, and you have hands too.” Amami tried to say the same thing but more calmly.

Akamatsu grimaced.

“Do we ask you to organize the school festival? To speak with the institutions that comes here to make sure that the school is following the rules and it’s adequate? To take care of the budget for the projects and distribute it? Males uses their hands, females the heads. That’s the way it is, so don’t ask me to touch that stuff, it’s a male job, cleaning. This is the very least you need to do to make yourself useful!” she shook her head and whispered. “I can’t believe I had to explain it, just how stupid a male can get?”

Kokichi felt and incredible sense of déjà vu, he knew this side of Akamatsu so well, much better than anyone else. Kokichi leaned closer to Kiibo and asked in a whisper.

“Since when the feminists have conquered the world?”


	6. -124th Playthrough

One can only imagine how big a shock it was for Kokichi, who just came from a orphanage, to find himself a member of a family.

His mind in disarray, the first days he came in this universe didn’t stuck in his mind. He surely had done something, but he must have been too distressed. The first thing he could recall was the two adults fussing over him and using words he didn’t understand as a kid, like trauma and stress disorder. Kokichi never ended up knowing what he had done in these first days but growing up he could imagine he had not reacted positively to the change of life so suddenly. He had tried to tell himself that his memories of his _real_ parents were a dream and only that, after all.  He was positive that his life had always been inside the orphanage, and so this new reality was inacceptable at first.

A kid could not believe or understand Kokichi’s bullshit superpower, how could he?

It was lucky that this new reality was somehow accommodating his distress. The adults that were taking care of him were adoptive parents that had adopted him only a month prior. They took him to counseling and they were told that it was possible that the stress of the adoption had caught up with Kokichi only then, after a month, and that he needed more time to get used to his new life. Kokichi had maybe spoken about his orphanage, which made his potential distress of leaving the place he had known for his whole life more plausible. He was still a kid and looked so small and malnourished that anyone would have given him five years or less, even though he was already seven.

After the first, catastrophic impact, Kokichi slowly got a hold of himself. He didn’t go to school for a long while, he actually skipped a whole year looking back to it. He spent the first weeks being scared of the two for some illogical reason. Maybe the simple concept of ‘parents’ was something that Kokichi could not really accept, not anymore after being traumatized twice. They were really sweet and caring, trying to do their best to make Kokichi at home, but he could not really appreciated it. He wanted to go back to his old orphanage and friends, even though he could not consider Kaito his friend anymore.

The house was nice and clean, white was the predominant color and everything felt fresh. They had prepared a room just for him, bought him a lot of clothes and toys of every kind. Kokichi had never had anything of the sort, and yet he could not bring himself to enjoy them. The woman was cooking him fresh made meals every day, she had taken three months home from work so she could stay closer to him. The man instead was working but he was returning home sooner than usual, so he could spend some time with Kokichi as well. At that time Kokichi was still sleeping very early, an habit he took in the orphanage and was not going to lose for quite a while. They were both so very nice with him, and Kokichi was not reciprocating at all. He just couldn’t.

And then there was her.

The first time he had learned about her existence Kokichi just could not understand. Why would a couple that already had a daughter want a boy to adopt? If they really wanted another kid they could just _make it._ A daughter that was his age, no less. A sister.

Kokichi’s mind was blown away by this. It just did not make any sense to him, were they out of their mind?

Akamatsu Kaede was clearly not happy about this addition to the family, dropped on her life so suddenly. Kokichi would not be happy either, in her shoes, probably. Suddenly her parents were giving all their attention to another kid, _a stranger._ She was going to school and returning home after tennis while Kokichi was home the whole day, spoiler rotten but ‘their mother’. Even the father was making more spare time specifically for him, like she was not important enough. The room he was now using used to be a guests room that Kaede was using to play with her friends from school so they would have more space. The reason for that became evident to Kokichi only a long while after the adoption: Kaede’s room was filled with doll houses and missive toys of all kind, plus some very bulky plushies. Her room was of a girl that loved play princess but it was so colorful and stuffed that the single peek he gave into it one time was enough to make him feel oppressed. No wonder they wanted to play in another room. Basically Kokichi ‘stole’ everything that was hers exclusively and ruined her life. From her childish prospective, of course.

In reality Kokichi was so meek and scared about this new impossible to accept situation that he barely stole anything, but she couldn’t see that. Kokichi was trying his best to blend with the walls, was praying in his head that they would just stop paying attention to him, it was just not happening.

The first time that Kokichi saw her, she gave him a mean side eye and that was the start of their relationship as ‘brother and sister’.

For the first few months things didn’t progress. Kokichi was at home, Kaede was at school, the times were everyone was home at the same time were so awkward that Kokichi just wanted to leave and hide in his room, never peeking out again, and then there was Kaede’s silent protest against his presence. But as it’s known humans tend to get used to things with time, even the most unwelcomed ones. As Kokichi started school Kaede was forced to help him a little, to avoid looking like a terrible human being. Their parents didn’t keep his adoption a secret, in fact the school immediately told everyone and put them in the same class, to ‘help him integrate’. Which immediately led to the obvious conclusion that Kokichi was the pitiful orphan to help and Kaede the sweet girl that was caring for her new little brother. Kokichi didn’t particularly did anything to help this preconception, one way or another, but Kaede felt pressured by it so at school she was always treating him with as much fake care as she could.

She was lucky that Kokichi didn’t like people very much, he was so uninteresting in all the social interactions in the following weeks that soon he became old news, everyone stopped paying him attention and so they both could breathe again. That helped greatly with everything.

Now that Kokichi was in her same position and had proven that he was not more successful than her, both in social activities and in academics, she didn’t feel so threatened by him anymore, she just accepted the fact that he was an unwelcome person in her living space that she had to deal with but mostly ignore. Kokichi, however, still had not learned his lesson. Kaito had disappointed him, shocked him even, but surely he was an exception. No one else was going to play some dirty trick on him. People were inherently good, weren’t they? His parents were probably just a nightmare he dreamed of, and Kaito was just a single jerk. There was no way he would find more horrible people, he had already found one too many in his short life.

As he was forced to accept this situation as his new reality, and he didn’t have any say in it at all, he tried to forge some kind of bond with her. He really could not get used to his adoptive parents at all but she was a girl his age, he had already some girls his age as friends in the orphanage, it couldn’t be so difficult. He wasn’t asking for much, or maybe he was because ultimately he was dreaming of having an actual sister he could talk to and share all the problems that would arise. He wanted an ally. His first requests were some help with the homework, since they had the same ones. The first time as soon as he picked up the displeased aura that she was emanating he gave up. He asked again, the next day, and she gave him a side eye again, like the golden times. The third time she accepted without a word and they worked side by side on the assignment for about half an hour. This happy result convinced him that he was finally starting to settle into her line of sight, that they could start to bond soon.

The next three days she refused every time, saying she had to meet her friends, but then the fourth day she accepted again. This pattern continued forever, not precisely but somewhat close to it. Kokichi understood pretty soon that he was never going to become her priority, and he settled for it. As long as they could become friends. Try to hang out with her at school or outside was a challenge, she was deflecting everything all the times. he was careful not to approach her when she was surrounded by friends, but even so she was still avoiding him. Kokichi started to lose hope completely and thought he needed to become friend with someone else instead, but before he could really think about it the situation changed.

It was around Christmas and suddenly Kaede became very friendly with him.

She invited him to hang out with her and her friends, surprisingly, and they went together to the ice palace to skate. Kokichi could not skate, he had never learned, but still convinced that people were good he was excited, someone was going to help him and he was going to learn and then they would have fun. Of course that had never been Kaede’s intention. Kaede was very good at skating, like most sports, and it was evident that her friends were not new to this as well. The afternoon became a big joke on Kokichi’s expenses, they abandoned him most of the time, only coming back from time to time to offer some ‘advice’, but Kokichi noticed that they were laughing at his back. He wouldn’t even mind that much if not for the fact that Kaede had really no reason to do something like this, why would she? She maybe wanted to offer a show to her friends but Kokichi was her brother now, he was going to be part of her life for a whole lot longer than any of them.

Kokichi even learned how to skate, alone, in the end.

For a while Kokichi didn’t speak with Kaede, he minded his own business, but now it was her that was seeking him out. It kind of bothered Kokichi, what was her game now? In the end he forgave her for her malicious prank, it was still a prank after all, she was a kid, they were both kids. They were almost nine years old by this point.

Of course he should have seen coming what was next.

Kokichi became her punching ball, figuratively clearly, but still. She was dangling a carrot in front of his nose, time and time again, and then Kokichi would get the stick as soon as he bit. Most of the times it was in the presence of her friends, but sometimes she would do it for her own amusement alone. Kokichi was growing, and was growing more and more disillusioned, the girl was never going to be his sister or ally. He started to bite less and less, and always aware that he was going to regret it.

So even girls were jerks, a different kind of jerk but jerks nonetheless.

And he had yet to learn all about how much a jealous and insecure girl could do.

When he was ten he got confessed by a girl. Sure, looking back at it they were kids, Kokichi didn’t really understand love or anything like that, but the girl, in his eyes, wanted to be his friend and hang out with him, and that was great. They started seeing each other, and it really wasn’t anything different than being friends, so Kokichi liked it. The girl was giving him some small gifts, sharing homework, spending time with him and listening to him talk. This went on for at least a month before Kokichi noticed that something was strange. In particular there was another girl in their class that used to be nice with everyone, a little on the quiet side and was mostly a good student, but in the last month had stopped talking with anyone and was leaving the classroom as soon as she could. Kokichi was not friend with her in the real sense of the term but she was one of the only girls that was not Kaede’s friend and so she was very nice to him, it was kind of sad for him to see her change like this. It took him a while to understand what was really going on.

That girl had, at some point in the past, confessed to Kaede that she had a crush on Kokichi hoping for her help, and for that reason his sister had immediately set up his 'girlfriend' to become his girlfriend instead, with the sole purpose of making her suffer. While he was enjoying a fake friendship/relationship the only girl that was maybe completely honest in her interest on him was being bullied by his adoptive sister. The reasons for her to do something so purposefully malicious while getting no gain of any kind was beyond Kokichi’s comprehension. He confronted them on the matter and his fake girlfriend immediately sided with Kaede, as excepted. They claimed that they hadn’t done anything wrong, and he simply didn’t choose the nice girl instead of her, so basically it was Kokichi’s fault.

Kokichi at that time was not strong enough to confront all this bullshit as it deserved.

He swore he was never going to befriend a girl ever again. And he kept his promise, in the future.

That was the first time Kokichi jumped away of his own free will.


	7. 3rd Playthrough

Girls were no better than males, if anything they were a counterpart that was fitting perfectly for them.

Both were humans, as such both were rotten from the start.

Kokichi’s childish naiveté had ended a long while ago, and so now he could see everyone for what they really were, a ugly mass of flesh and blood driven mostly by instinct and partially by maliciousness. Males and females alike were only moving toward their own self-satisfaction and Kokichi was not expecting any better from anyone, not even from Shuichi.

But he was special, he was unique, always the same.

This was the first time he had came along a feminist exclusive society, feminists were everywhere, it was a pretty natural development of the world. He had visited a bunch of worlds and they all had a different level of balance, but since he didn’t care about females he never really wasted times to define the different treatment. He just knew that many females could be more vicious than males, so Kaede and Chabashira’s claims were completely groundless and absurd. Just like the opposite, when males were convinced that they were much better than females at everything.

Normally he wouldn’t involve himself with all this bullshit, but it seemed that in this place he would be force to have something to do with it. If nothing else because he had been dragged into it by others.

But he still wasn’t going to clean the toilet, Kaito should do it, he was very fitting for that task.

“All right, okay, let’s all calm down. I’ll clean the toilets, so it’s all good, yes?” Amami broke the stalemate.

Kokichi tilted his head, he guessed that out of all the people in the room Amami was the next best candidate, after Kaito. No, actually thinking about it this was the best choice, he approved it. Kaito had sinned of cowardice once when he was a little kid, and it was kind of relatable, in some way. The worst thing was his hypocrisy, but once again, he was just brainwashing everyone to think he was an amazing person, hardly something that could hurt people. Amami was kind of a different case.

He was nodding to himself, thinking that there was some kind of karma in the world, when he noticed Shuichi immediately perking up and whispering something to him with a frustrated face. Were the two very close? This idea let a sour taste in Kokichi’s mouth. He could accept them being friends, not intimated. Nope.

The business was dealt fast after someone finally took the first step, whatever Shuichi had said to him it didn’t stop him, which was really good. Kaede left them as soon as she was sure they had done almost everything, she was really in a hurry to leave. As soon as she left Kaito started to complain loudly to anyone willing to listen and so Kokichi tuned out the volume of his voice in his head. He tossed aside the plastic gloves and pondered if he should leave or not, but Shuichi’s presence was keeping him there. He observed him while he was finishing his work, now with a little scowl on his face. Should he try something? Normally he had so slime chances, ever, that this was actually kind of a change of pace, he wasn’t sure what to say to him especially since he didn’t know this world well enough.

He didn’t get to do anything, Shuichi finished whatever he was doing and walked close to Amami, he tapped Amami's leg with his foot lightly, to get his attention, with a cute pout that Kokichi had already seen some times before. It was the pout he would make when he wanted the attention of someone he liked, and united with that strange little gesture it confirmed one of Kokichi’s worst suspicions. Shuichi liked him. Shuichi was, secretly, a little possessive, it was easy to notice when he liked someone because he would get like this, unhappy that they weren’t paying attention to him. Amami turned and pinched Shuichi’s cheek with a smile.

How cute, so they were a thing. How very  _cute._

Kokichi felt himself relaxing and irritating at the same time. This was no different than any other time, Shuichi was completely out of his league, once again, it was another perfectly normal universe. His confusion and slight anxiety over this being different for the first time faded completely. There was no need to be scared, everything was normal. The difference he had experienced was maybe caused by this universe Kokichi, he was maybe a better person than he was.

But like hell he would let Amami keep Shuichi without a fight. This was familiar territory, he was used to this scenario with many many people. Shuichi was more often than not trying to get in someone’s arms. He supposed this could be considered another constant about Shuichi, he was almost always in love, with someone else. Oh, well, _in love_ was not the correct definition, Kokichi knew, but he could be a very good friend, he was going to keep the secret for him.

“Hey, how about we do something after this? We are done now, we can go, yes?” Kokichi asked, finally energized again.

He loved to ruin the fun for everyone else, if he couldn’t be happy, why others should be?

The guys all stared at him like he had suddenly revealed he was wearing a pair of pink polka dots frilly panties.

“Ouma-san, what’s on your mind?” Kiibo asked, with courtesy.

“I dunno! What about eating something? This place sure helped my appetite! Can’t you feel your stomach contracting thanks to this nice smell?” he opened his arms wide to gesture the bathroom and toilets.

They all grimaced.

“Oh, my stomach is contracting, I’ll give you that.” Kaito answered.

He wasn’t inviting Kaito but whatever. Everyone’s face were confused but not annoyed or disgusted, Kokichi needed to leave a message to the Kokichi of this dimension, if he ever could go back after Kokichi would jump away, to thank him for this nice reputation. He was going to ruin it also, though.

“Where are we going?” asked Amami.

“I don’t really know a good place, so I’m open to suggestions! Do you guys know any good place?” Kokichi locked hands behind his back.

“Well,” Kiibo rubbed his neck with one hand, “I’ve come to this city a couple times and my parents used to take me to a place… if that’s okay we can go there, the food is good.”

“Sounds good to me!” Kokichi didn’t really care about the food quality so wherever was fine.

They went back to the dorm first, to leave their backpacks and change out of their uniform, something Kokichi was surprised of. He figured the a school that was so stupidly hung up on the image of the Student Council and that was blatantly unfair would be the kind to forbid fun as well. There was still a good chance that it was forbidden, just not in this particular form.

The restaurant Kiibo led them to was not half bad, Kokichi had seen worst. Since Kiibo had known it because of his parents he was excepting it too be either really fancy or really ancient, one of the two, so not really great for young people like them, but he had been wrong. It was a modern kind of restaurant, with a selection of foods from various parts of the world, but they weren’t gourmet or anything, and the size of the portions was acceptable. Kokichi had gone to a gourmet restaurant only once before, and aside from the strange substances that he had found in his dishes, the actual food was just enough to take a bite and taste it, it was gone before it even started. Maybe the food had been good, Kokichi could not say either way because it was kind of strange and a little new to him, but before he could get a real idea if he liked it or not there was nothing left for him to try. Needlessly to say the experience left him more confused than not.

As they chose where to sit Kokichi purposefully led them to a corner table with three chairs on each side, plus the two on the short sides. Obviously Kokichi had chosen it this way because logically speaking Shuichi and Amami were going to sit next to each other, leaving a single chair open, and if the goddess of luck would help him, for a change, Shuichi would sit in the middle, leaving Kokichi the opportunity to sit on the other side. This was the most efficient way to force him to look in his direction and ignore Amami, if played right.

The goddess of luck hated him so much normally that small chances like these were just karma, that was why he wasn’t really surprised to see his prediction coming true. After Yonaga he had _deserved it._  

“Okay then, let’s order!” Kokichi clapped once and then took the menu. “What’s you favorite food Saihara? Do you prefer main dishes or desserts?”

The answer to the first question was udon miso soup and the second answer was low calories main dishes. He didn’t like meat very much but he had a soft spot for fish. He didn’t have a sweet tooth, his favorite drink was tea. Kokichi didn’t need these answers from Shuichi’s mouth, he had already asked them and researched them a bunch of times previously. He was just starting the discussion from the most obvious place. Shuichi was too worried with his appearance to people to straight out ignore him, unless they all agreed that Kokichi should be avoided, and that was not the case here.

“I’m not much for dessert, I usually skip them unless it’s an important occasion. I like miso soup, but with not too many addition to the soup itself. I get full quite easily, I don’t eat a lot.” Shuichi answered, as expected. “What about you?” this last question came with a second of delay, like he had remembered late he should reciprocate.

“I like potato chips!” Kokichi answered waving a finger. “But also ice cream, and sushi, and chocolate cookies, and fried rice, and cinnamon rolls, and hamburgers, and cupcakes, and spicy fried shrimps, and—“

“I get it! I get it!” Shuichi stopped him. “You like fried food and sweets, mostly.”

He tried to turn away, concluding the conversation, but Kokichi pulled him back immediately.

“What are you going to order?” he smiled amiably.

“Ah, probably…” Shuichi raised the menu that had almost fallen from his hands since he wasn’t looking at it and stared at the page. “White rice with shrimps and soy sauce…” Kokichi had already opened his mouth to say ‘boring!’ when he added something else. “Do you think they have grapefruit juice here?”

“What…? Why would you order that?” Kokichi was at a loss for words, Kaede’s absurd preferences had infected him through a different universe?

“It’s just a habit I have… I don’t know why but I feel like I should order it as much as possible. It’s important for me.” he lifted his eyes from the menu to see Kokichi’s face filled with dismay. “Is there something wrong with grapefruit juice?”

“That thing sucks hard, it’s horrible, don’t waste money on it!” Kokichi honestly could not contain himself on this one.

“I… see?” Shuichi seemed highly perplexed. “I admit I don’t like it too much, but…” he stopped himself and frowned a little. “Well, I don’t think they have it anyway, it’s unusual in restaurants.”

And with that the conversation was closed again and he could not expand on the food topic any further. Shuichi didn’t ask him what he was going to order, his interest moved to Amami on his other side and his other friends. Kokichi’s brain gears started to spin faster, spiraling from topic to topic.

He started with the most safe ones, like school subjects, to get a grasp of how much the two had talked before that very day. If he was guessing correctly they weren’t close, he was pretty sure they weren’t friends either, they were just acquaintances. This knowledge was important because thanks to it he could guess how much he had revealed about himself. Kokichi was planning to narrating him his, fake, past and for that reason he needed to be careful not to say something that could contradict what he could have said to them previously. He was confident that he could turn around the tables, if needed, but too many inconsistencies were impossible to fix.

After he had safely arrived at that conclusion he started to run his mouth, mixing real facts to imaginary events, all he could to keep Shuichi’s focus on him. He couldn’t do it the whole evening, every time Shuichi started to show signs that he was a little bothered he had to give up for a few moments, let him rest his ears. However, by the end of the meal, Kokichi could proudly proclaim he had just held Shuichi’s attention for the longest in his whole life. He was very proud of himself, not to mention he had done it while not leaving the impression of being an asshole on him, another great result. It was so rare for him to even have a chance, even rarer to not fuck it up. Shuichi looked tired and confused, while Amami was clearly looking at him with an intense stare, like he was assessing his intentions, if he needed to punch him or not.

Kokichi was finding a sadistic pleasure in his alarm.

The food, in the end, was not even that bad, Kiibo had been right.

Returning back at the dorm Kokichi noticed that the group was walking fast and in silence, like they were tense about something. Looking around, mostly out of curiosity, he noticed women walking around in smaller groups and staring at them, some were whispering to one another when they located them. Kokichi caught some bites of one of them that was purposefully whispering a little louder, to be heard, surely.

“-going around—such a big group—up to no good—“

Kokichi connected the dots; these women were thinking they were delinquents, because they were all young males walking around in a big group. In many world he had lived in women were scared to walk around alone at night, they were scared of aggressions, so in this feminist society they had fought the fear by making impossible for men to go around late at night freely without getting condemned by them. Worst case scenario there was a curfew for men after a certain hour of the day. In any case he could see why these guys were in such a hurry to be back and weren’t saying anything, just in case. It was pretty bullshit.

He made sure to stick his tongue to the woman that spoke louder in secret.

Once they were inside the dormitory again it was like they share a collective sigh of relief, everyone’s tension started to fade. An almost smile on their faces they started to chat again, in a low voice to not disturb anyone. It was just ten at night, it was ridiculous to think that someone was already sleeping but Kokichi understood that they were doing it to look more sophisticated and educated that they actually were. In Kaito’s case anyway. Kokichi’s instinct was to start yelling on the top of his lungs, just to break the mold, but he kept himself in check, he still had a chance with Shuichi, he needed to wait a little longer before going wild. He wasn’t confident at all that his chance would stand for much longer, he knew he had a bunch of time to screw around. As soon as Shuichi would dump him he wanted to throw a bucket of toilet water on Kaede darling. He shouldn’t, really, because that could ruin this Kokichi’s life potentially forever, but he already did this so many times before, who cared anymore? He remembered nostalgically burning Kaito’s dormitory room once, all his stuff had become ashes.

It was one of his fondest memories. He had jumped away from the principal office, with the police on their way, he had been called a pyromaniac. An exhilarating experience, he wanted to try it once more before dying, maybe he should go for Amami’s room next, He felt a little bad for his roommate though, hopefully it wasn’t Shuichi, that could be weird, since they were probably doing dirty stuff in there.

Actually, scratch that. Hopefully it _was_ Shuichi. Burn every evidence of that out of existence was an act of mercy.

Kiibo and Kokichi returned to their room after a while. Kokichi changed into his pajama and then threw himself onto the bed. He opened the phone and checked once again if he had Shuichi’s number saved in it, he would need it. It was saved in there, under the name ‘Saihara-san’, so he checked which texts they had exchanged until that day. Their conversations were only about school or meetings, Kokichi had asked him the time of some events, and to lend him a dictionary once.

Boring, boring, boring.

The next day he was going to send something better, and that thought helped him fall asleep quickly and have a nice dream. He woke up all energized, he was ready to go even before Kiibo had completely left the bed, he was still yawning with his mouth open.

“Well!” Kokichi clapped his hands hard, to make as big noise as possible and annoy him for no reason. “It’s such a nice day…” he looked outside of the window to avoid a gaffe and noticed he was about to do so. “rainy day… and so I don’t want to wait, I’m out! Take your time, see ya!”

Kiibo didn’t have time to raise his head and ask him something, probably if he was feeling okay, that Kokichi was already out of the door. He ran for the cafeteria and took a toast and a blueberry yogurt for himself, it wasn’t like he liked the flavor he liked to have his tongue blue. Unfortunately the blue from the yogurt was not durable, candies and lollipops were better but they didn’t sell them in the cafeteria. He then scanned the room for Shuichi, but he couldn’t see him, he was not there yet. He caught a glare from Kaede though, he smiled widely at her and she glared even stronger. Kokichi was 98% sure there was no rule in the school against him smiling to a girl, so she couldn’t punish him.

Kokichi waited for him while in the hallway to the male dormitory, not to meet with him, but to see from where he was coming from and who was his roommate. Shuichi finally showed up when Kokichi had already finished his toast and was trying to get all the remaining yogurt on his spoon to lick it. The person that was walking with him, who had to be his roommate, was actually Kaito, so his secret theory that Amami had seduced Shuichi using his roommate status to his advantage was wrong. He didn’t really need that advantage, anyone could see that Amami was a valid candidate as a boyfriend, talking about his look alone. For that reason he couldn’t really hold against Shuichi the fact that he had fallen for him, Kokichi couldn’t compete on that front so he had to play a different game.

With that important knowledge, Kokichi licked off all the yogurt from the spoon, threw the empty container in the recycling bin and ran ahead, to take position in the classroom before anyone else. His objective for the day was to deepen his ‘friendship’ with him, in other words to make him talk and talk and talk about himself until he would consider Kokichi his personal confident, or something along these lines. First, he needed to make sure that Shuichi would need him, and approach him when he wanted to talk. Then, later, find Amami’s weakness and turn it against him to snatch Shuichi from him. He had a weakness for sure, everyone had one.

For example, the fact that he let him learn and steal this technique from him.

Shuichi arrived late, not to the lecture but compared to most people, he came together with Kaito. Kokichi was a tad irritated that he had wasted ten good minutes already, but start the stalking in the cafeteria first thing in the morning was not a good start of a healthy relationship. It didn’t matter if Kokichi was stalking him, across dimensions no less, all day all life already, Shuichi didn’t know and he should be allowed to know. So well, thinking about a healthy relationship was already an illusionary goal from the start.

“Hey!” Kokichi greeted him when he was sitting down his bag next to the leg of the desk. “You are late today, the lesson starts in two minutes.”

“Good morning, yeah, yeah I know, Kaito was a busybody today. Now that we have served the punishment he is back to planning revolution. He is in high spirit and it’s tiring.” he slumped down on the chair with a sigh.

So now it was confirmed that Kaito was his roommate.

“Revolution huh?” this was one of the most solid traits Kaito had, always planning some kind of revolution or power climbing.

“It’s stupid and useless, women have fought hard to keep us down until today, it doesn’t matter how much Kaito wants them to stop throwing their privileges around, it’s what makes them comfortable. They would just make our lives more difficult if we fight back.” Shuichi shook his head a little.

Kokichi had never really studied the feminist movements back in other universes, but he knew for a fact that nowhere he had ever found total balance. It simply was not possible, because women and men were by nature different, complete equality was impossible to achieve, nor people really wanted it. No matter what kind of result was reached, someone would be unhappy. Kokichi really had no patience for these complicated matters, in the end it was too subjective to really tell. Not even males were all agreeing that a fight should be started, just like some women didn’t want to fight for their rights somewhere else. Kaito was free to do what he wanted, as long as Kokichi was not involved.

“You call him Kaito, are you two close?” Kokichi asked, because it was not something to take for granted.

“I thought I told you already…” Shuichi looked a little confused but he recovered fast. “We met each other during elementary school and we became friends, we used to play together all the time. During middle school I moved with my parents and we remained friends through letters, he was my pen-pal. When it was time to chose an high school Kaito wanted to come here, to this school, and he managed to convince me to come as well. I wasn’t interested, this is a very strict school with a reputation and I didn’t need to come here, but Kaito really wanted a friend with him and since they have dormitories…” Shuichi shrugged.

“Why did he want to come here so badly?” Kokichi was kind of curious as to why Kaito needed to go to such school in the first place. In many other universes either he was attending a completely normal school or he was into a specific line of interest, like architecture, so he supposedly was talented in that field of work. An elitist school was  not the place he would imagine Kaito to be or want to be. “He doesn’t look like the type.”

“He… wants to become an astronaut.” Shuichi admitted like he was embarrassed in his place. Kokichi stared at him in silence. “Yeah, I know… it sounds stupid, but Kaito is determinate, who am I to stop him? It’s what he wants to do, and I didn’t care either way…”

“Let me guess… he is trying to create a society that’s more equal. In space.” Kokichi said, in monotone.

“Err…” Shuichi smirked awkwardly. “That’s basically it, it’s been his dream since he was a little kid. He had been raised by his father alone, so he completely missed a motherly figure in his life, he just cannot take how his father was treated and so started the ‘revolution’. He didn’t… grow up, I guess he is still the same kid that he was once.” he shrugged again.

Kokichi was searching for a witty retort but the teacher appeared in the room before he had completed his search, he had to interrupt the conversation unfortunately. Such a pity, for once the conversation between them was flowing so nicely. He didn’t listen to a word the teacher was saying, spinning a pen in his fingers and distracting Shuichi in the process. Seeing that he was distracted enough either way he pulled out his phone from the pocket and hid it from view starting to type. He was about to discover if Shuichi was interested enough in the rules to keep his phone turned off in class like he was supposed to. He had enough faith in Shuichi to know that he had not let his ringtone on.

-Maybe he does plan on creating a nation of asexual aliens?-

Shuichi, a few seconds after the text was sent from his phone, searched in his pockets and pulled out his own phone, his face was kind of surprised. This must have been the first time he had received a secret text in the middle of the lesson. So Amami was not sending him dirty texts during class? What a waste, if Kokichi was in his position he would do it. Even more because they were sitting side by side, it would amplify the effect knowing that he was watching him while reading them. Such a waste.

Shuichi read the sender and glanced at him with his eyes slightly bigger than usual, then he moved his eyes back to read the text. Kokichi smirked and waited for him to decide if he wanted to take the bait or not. It took him a second to read and start type back. Kokichi opened the text as soon as it came.

-Maybe he does-

They smirked to each other then Kokichi rested his phone on his laps and opened the notebook on the desk. He quickly drew something stupid with a red pen and texted again.

-Someone like this?-

His scribble was of a fat alien with three arms, one on top of his head like a flag. Shuichi raised an eyebrow and started to type again.

-What use the third hand is supposed to have?-

-It’s in place of the genitalia, since they don’t need them I thought I could make a more useful substitution-

Shuichi almost spluttered but covered his mouth with a hand, this text had caught him by surprise, to Kokichi’s delight. See, he could be obnoxiously funny sometimes!

They kept texting each other with things of a similar caliber until the end of the lesson, all the while drawing, Shuichi used a blue pen, more and more stupid things on Kokichi’s notebook.

By the end of the lesson, neither of them were able to say what the lesson had been about but they had built a whole house and a family of aliens for Kaito.

Definitely more productive.


	8. 3rd Playthrough

This had to be the best universe Kokichi had visited so far by a long shot.

Having a decent head start with Shuichi was making all the difference, in just three days he had gotten used to him and they were ‘friends’, for as much as Kokichi could believe in that word. They had started to text each other sometimes outside of class as well, but Kokichi was counting the number of texts precisely, to make sure to not be too eager.

Whether or not his plan was working though, Amami was not stupid.

The first time he confronted him, Kokichi smiled and told him there was nothing wrong with them being friends, was Amami jealous of all Shuichi’s friends? Kokichi reminded him of Kaito and the fact that they had been friends since elementary school, was he jealous of him as well? Of course Amami was not stupid, there was a distinct difference between him and Kaito and they both knew, but in the end it was Shuichi’s decision who to spend his time with, and they had not spent any time together outside of class yet. Kokichi’s plan was a battle of resistance. If he was able to get Amami to fight with Shuichi because of him, then Kokichi could plant the seed of doubt in Shuichi telling him to not be manipulated by anyone. On the flip side, if Kokichi was the first one to act then it was Amami who had the upper hand and could claim that Kokichi was putting them against each other. Which was the truth, obviously, but Kokichi needed to present the situation in the opposite direction, as a challenge to his freedom of choice. In the end it was a battle of manipulation, the first one to act would lose.

That assuming their bond was not incredibly strong to begin with, but Kokichi had his doubts. Shuichi was not the right type to share everything with another person or discuss all the events with his partner.

Kokichi was the only one who knew him without Shuichi having to say anything.

Amami didn’t approach him for a while and Shuichi didn’t change his way of interacting with Kokichi, which meant that he had not made any move yet. One thing about this battle of resistance was that Kokichi had the overwhelming advantage, because the more time Amami was wasting the more Shuichi would trust him, the more Amami’s grasp on him would fade. In Kokichi’s opinion Amami could wait forever, he was only doing him a favor.

After the end of the second week Kokichi organized a study session in his room, with Kiibo and Amami present as well, to not make it weird. It was almost the end of the school year, and Kokichi had obviously not done anything in term of studying. While he was moving in space, with his jumps, he was not moving in time. If before the jump it was the 1st of January in the afternoon, then after the jump was still the 1st January in the afternoon. What that meant was that Kokichi was not particularly gaining more school years, more time to study, his time was the same as anyone else. With Kokichi’s attitude and his nonchalance about everything about the universe he had landed into, except for Shuichi, he had never taken school seriously. His bad grades were something the Kokichi that was remaining behind, assuming he was leaving a Kokichi behind after all jumps, had to deal with, not him. What that meant, in the end, was that Kokichi was seriously behind in his studies compared to everyone else. It wasn’t helping that after every jump the schedule and program of the lessons were different, he could jump forward a few topics and lose all the middle part or the opposite, going back a few lessons and see something that he had already covered only to lose the end later.

So the study session was both a great opportunity and an actual need he had. It was true that he didn’t care about academics at all, but if things were moving finally in the right direction this could be a place he could stop for a long time. Forever didn’t exist, he didn’t even consider that idea, but maybe he could stop a year or two, and if that was the case he needed to not look completely stupid. Butcher all the final exams was not something that could help him get closer to Shuichi, and if he was getting worst grades than Kaito then he really needed to jump away, to cover for his shame. Putting an actual effort into study for the first time in  maybe three years was annoying, but better not to have any regret to a later date.

Kokichi played his cards perfectly, not saying a single word out of line. Now that Shuichi had already been attracted in his net, he couldn’t play casually anymore, a wrong step and Amami would gain the advantage again. Kiibo’s reactions helped him greatly, since he was the one that knew Kokichi better than anyone else as long as he was comfortable around him it meant that he was still in character. He kept it professional, not giving Amami any possibility to say he was doing something inappropriate.

Another guy would have maybe left their guard down a little after that, not Amami though.

Kokichi was glad that the internet existed, it made so much easier for him to search for a nice date place, a place that could be suited for friends as well. In the next city, that was possible to reach using the bus, was an aquarium. Kokichi had not visited and aquarium since he was in elementary school, they went in a field trip with the school. While it was true that Kokichi didn’t care much anymore for the world, or the worlds, there were still things that were making his blood pumping, childish things for the most part. Like amusement park! Amusement park was another place he wanted to visit, but he was reserving it for after they were a couple. Which meant never, because Shuichi wouldn’t be Shuichi if he was to accept him, something was going to happen to prevent it from happening like all the times. Still, it was nice to dream.

To have him accept, because it was not so obvious he would, he specifically chose a day when he knew Kiibo had a previous appointment, so he could use the excuse that he had no one else that would go with him. It was a little based on luck, because he knew that Shuichi was free that day, but there was always the possibility that he had come up with something the day before. If that occurrence happened then he had to give up the aquarium, since he couldn’t use the same excuse twice. But Shuichi accepted, he didn’t even ask many questions, he just accepted.

As he was preparing for his date, Kokichi casually saw a spot of black on his back and remembered his number, hidden back there. He looked at it, just because it was weeks since the last time, it had to have decreased a little again. The number made his heart skip a beat. It read 43. Wasn’t like… 70-something last time? He had lost thirty numbers?

Kokichi didn’t have the first idea what that number really meant but something in the depths of his soul was telling him it _had_ to be connected to his ‘superpower’. He was, deep down, scared that it was something like a time limit. When the number would drop to zero…

“Hey, thank you for coming! The exams are next week and I wanted one last moment of relax before that, but Kiibo was busy.” Kokichi greeted him that day waving a hand.

Kokichi was wearing a sweater that was purposefully a size larger, the sleeves were covering partially his hands, he had rolled them a little bit, for that innocent look. Under that were some normal jeans, nothing too fancy, the ripped pants were not part of his style ever, and Kokichi was sensible to cold, the temperature was not high enough for him to have holes. However, under the rim of the sweater, was a large white belt with metallic insertions, the surprise fashion item. Not that he was planning to remove the sweater, but if the opportunity raised he needed to be ready.

“Don’t worry, I needed a break as well, I’m not that interested in studying, just because I do well it doesn’t mean I like to sit down and read textbooks or do exercises. Too bad for Kiibo though.”

Shuichi was in all black, like always, he really disliked colored clothes, there wasn’t a single color spot in all his persona. The only other color technically was white, but white was not really a ‘color’ color, so to say. Or gray. But gray was the union of white and black, so it didn’t count as color in Kokichi’s opinion. He had seen many people, mostly Kaede, trying to convince him to put on some other clothes, more lively ones, claiming that they would fit him but Shuichi had always refused. Say what you want about Shuichi, but one thing not many realized was that when he had decided something there was no way to change his mind. He had said ‘no’ and that no carried in all the universes that Kokichi had visited, without fail. Kokichi personally couldn’t tell if Shuichi would look good with colors or not, he used seeing him like this that even imagining a different attire was difficult, let alone a colorful sweated. It didn’t matter the occasion, Shuichi looked always the same, it was just the quality of the materials his clothes were made of that was changing.

“Kiibo is back to his family for three days, we don’t have any lesson until the exams, everyone is free to go where they want. Kiibo’s family apparently lives close by, he can make the trip back and forth in two hours.” Kokichi shrugged.

“I see, well that’s good. It’s better than having to deal with some emergency, at least.” Shuichi nodded. “Alright then. Shall we go?”

“Yes, finally! I want to see the sharks!” Kokichi launched his fist in the air and led the way.

“Right. Are you going to start with the hardcore stuff? Then you’ll be bored when we get to the small boring fish.” Shuichi caught up to him.

“Hey! What gives you the right to judge fish’s lives? How dare you saying they are boring, apologize to them!” Kokichi pouted.

“Ah, of course, how rude of me to assume.” Shuichi shook his head and fought to keep his face straight. “What else do you want to see, aside the sharks?”

“Octopuses! Do you know that they are really strong?” he didn’t let him answer. “What about you? What do you want to see?”

“If I say clown fish, jellyfish and mantas are you going to laugh?”

“Ah ah.” he laughed and peered at him. “No, seriously, they are cool. I want to see them as well.”

“I honestly cannot recognize true laughter from a fake one, not if it’s coming from you.” Shuichi rolled his eyes.

“I know right? I would make a great actor, maybe I will after I graduate!” Kokichi locked hands behind his back.

“I wouldn’t advise you to, to be honest. That world is full of women and they are all terrifying. They are all so famous, and glamour and _fashion_ and _powerful_ and cold and—“ he stopped himself.

“Do you have a personal vendetta against actresses?” Kokichi observed carefully his face.

This was something new, and there were two options. This was either something that was always the same across all dimensions but Kokichi just so happened to never touch before, or it was something from his backstory of this very universe.

“…Maybe…” he didn’t say anything else, and Kokichi didn’t pray.

He didn’t, but he stuffed this information into his brain, it could be very useful later.

Kokichi had already bought the tickets to the aquarium in advance using the internet, no way he was wasting time in a cue with him, there were way better ways to spent it in a date. They took the bus and sat in the back, Kokichi’s favorite place, the bus was almost empty aside from some other students. There wasn’t a single female on the bus, but Kokichi was not interested enough to start speculate how they were moving around, they probably didn’t want to be contaminated by male germs or something. The ride was silent, to not overload and tire out Shuichi immediately. He was not such a big talker, he needed his silent moments to be alone in his own head. Kokichi could adapt more easily to both situations, but he liked silence as well, better than needless talk even though he didn’t mind Shuichi’s. The other people’s mindless chatting was more difficult to appreciate, if it was possible at all.

The aquarium was near the sea, in a protected pier at the outskirt of a big port, all around it was an open space with the ground paved with white stones that were reflecting the sun ray directly into Kokichi’s eyes. He almost wanted to have sunglasses, except it was April and it was very silly of him to go around with them. He narrowed his eyes and turned to see Shuichi cover his eyes with a hand to protect them.

“It’s a nice day, there isn’t a could in the sky.” he said.

“Yep, good thing we are inside, with the fish, I hate to have to blink a bunch of times because of the sun, my eyes are delicate.” Kokichi pursed his lips and picked up the pace.

Kokichi was not wrong, inside the atmosphere was much more less bright, the walls were blue to suit the theme. Kokichi showed the tickets at the entrance and Shuichi hurried to offer to pay his own, but Kokichi didn’t even listen. Offering him things was part of his plan. It was another one of those things that shouldn’t be overused, of he would start to hate being in debt with Kokichi. He said that he could offer him an ice cream later, and it made it sound like an order so Shuichi calmed down fast.

Kokichi had learned very well how to manipulate people, and Shuichi, for as smart as he was, was still falling into traps sometimes.

The first place they reached, in the aquarium, was the jellyfish tanks. There were at least ten different tanks with all stages of life of the jellyfish, from babies to adults. Some of them were so small they looked like snowflakes, the biggest ones were bigger than both Kokichi’s palms. They spent at least ten minutes just in this one room, because both liked them. Kokichi liked how elegant and gracious they were, even though they were shaped strange and were slow, and jelly, and once caught they were hopeless, and they weren’t even that interesting. It almost seemed like they didn’t need to exist, if the only thing they could do was drift around from place to place, yet they were there. And Kokichi liked that. Sometimes life didn’t need an objective, maybe even a purpose, some stuff just kind of were there.

Sure, they probably served some amazing function into maintaining the balance of the ecosystem, and maybe the fate of the world rested on their jelly shoulders, like with bees, but Kokichi never wasted the time to learn about it, so he liked his thesis better. Screw science. Or something.

He didn’t read the explicative signs all around the tanks, that was for sure.

In the next room were a ton of other tanks, all filled with fish of every color and species. These were less interesting in Kokichi’s eyes, while they were cute to look at. The seals had the biggest tank yet, in the next room, it was going down into the floor and up behind the ceiling, only a glass wall was visible from the almost completely dark room. The bluish light from the water was the only illumination in the room, and surely was helping the atmosphere, the seals were swimming fast around some rock formations left and right, often sliding directly against the glass with their bellies. They were cute, especially since it seems they were playing for the viewers' benefits, and of course the interesting part about these animals was that they were so goofy on the land and then so fast in the ocean. However this was too mainstream, everyone loved them already so they didn’t need his love as well. And the kids with the noses against the glass were noisy and annoying.

The next room was about tropic fish, they were swimming in circles around mangroves roots. Fake roots, probably, but the effect was good enough to create the illusion. The best illusion, however, was the starfish tank. The seaweeds and algae were colorful and were creating the perfect camouflage for the little bright orange starfish. They played a game to see which one could see more of them. Kokichi won by a small margin.

They stopped in the resting area with the cafeteria, Kokichi was offered ice cream by Shuichi as they had agreed, and Shuichi bought canned tea for himself. Kokichi knew he was not a snack type of guy, but with a cafeteria right there he was expecting him to order a freshly made tea. He just learned something new about Shuichi: he could be kind of stingy sometimes!

Next they saw the sharks, they were in a similar tank as the seals only there was a circular recess where you could stand and the sharks would pass above your head. Of course there was where Kokichi stood. They had such a big mouth and long teeth, they were amazing to see. But the most interesting part was the eyes. He could see, aside from the teeth, why these animals would be seen as dangerous and scary, enough to be inside so many horror movies. The eyes were round, black and white, and so flat and empty they looked devoid of anything, but not like they were dead. These were definitely the eyes of something alive, but it was like there was no emotion at all in them, like he was a machine, not an animal. Kokichi had seen plenty of cats and dogs, they had all such expressive eyes, and if not the eyes something else was telling of what they were feeling. Rabbits for example had their ears, birds their singing, even snake had their tongues and motions. Sharks instead were swimming around keeping both their eyes and mouths locked in place like they were petrified in that position, they really looked like machines.

Poor beasts, nature had really screwed them over.

Next was an open space deep inside the floor, there was water only a little at the bottom, the rest were all rocks and heating lamps. Kokichi stood in his tiptoe and stared down, these ones were cool. The baby crocodiles were bathing either in the sun or the water, their eyes had a white layer in front of them, like cats when they were sleeping or sick. These beasts were so used to people that they didn’t care about them stomping around, they were sleeping like they were in heaven.

Kokichi wondered if someone had even fallen inside, had he been attacked? That was a fun mental exercise.

Running forward was a big room, inside there was a big black wall full of informative stuff that Kokichi didn’t acknowledge in the slightest. On the other side was a pond, and inside the pond were a bunch of mantas and other small fish. The walls of the pond were low, kids and all kind of people were sitting on it and sticking their hand into the water.

“A petting pond with mantas! Let’s go!” Kokichi grabbed Shuichi’s arm and dragged him forward fast. He was looking forward to this one. “You first!”

Shuichi smirked a second and sat down next to the others on the pond, reaching down for the water. The room was filled with people, way more than all the others. There was a whole bunch of kids screaming, couples and whatnot. It seemed like all the people that weren’t in all the other rooms had been here the whole time. The noise was kind of impressing and even the small bridge in the middle of the pond, used to look at them from up above, was filled with people. Kokichi was forced to step away a little because people were elbowing him in the sides, especially because he was so short. He lost Shuichi from his sight, so he waited, taking another couple steps back outside of the biggest crowd to breath. Sooner or later Shuichi would appear from it and then Kokichi could try on his own.

He waited but Shuichi didn’t appear. He started to think that maybe he left from some other direction, and they just missed each other. He waited a moment longer then pulled out his phone and texted him. No answer. The noise was so much that it was no use calling him with his voice or phone. Before he could go back into the crowd it was like the crowd had decided it was time to move on, it started to disperse from that specific spot. On the other side, still near the pond, Kokichi could see Shuichi and a girl, they were arguing about something. Observing the scene a little better while he was getting closer he noticed that the girl had grabbed her shirt and was keeping it away from her, and then he noticed the color. The shirt was wet, somehow she must have received a splash of water from the pond.

“What’s happening?” he asked to Shuichi when he was close enough.

“He splashed me, on purpose!” the girl yelled at them both interrupting Shuichi who was trying to respond.

“No, that’s not true. There were too many people and someone pushed us from the side. You just slipped too close to the water and your shirt touched it.” Shuichi was still calm but clearly irritated.

“Yeah right, good excuse.”

“Look, I told you already, I saw it. No one splashed you, your shirt ended up in water because something pushed you even closer to the water. Anyway it’s just water, it will dry.” he almost sighed in the end.

This conversation had to be going on for a while, and that was the reason why people started to leave this spot, they didn’t want to be involved.

“This is clearly not clean water, my shirt is ruined!” the girl was not calming at all.

“Okay, what do you want, money? Tell me how much so we can all go on our separate ways.” Kokichi was already sick and tired.

Shuichi opened his mouth to protest but the girl beat him again.

“How disrespectful! You think some money can cover for the fact that he purposefully—“

“Yeah, yeah, I got the picture already.” Kokichi grabbed his wallet and her hand, then he stuffed it with three bills. “This should be enough. Have a nice day, girl.”

He grabbed Shuichi’s wrist and dragged him away as quickly as he could, considering that Shuichi was resisting.

“You shouldn’t have—“

“Yeah, I know. But today is my first dat-day of break after study, I don’t want to waste it. We would lose our good mood if we stopped there arguing any further.”

Shuichi didn’t say anything else and stopped resisting, respecting his wish even though he was not satisfied. They saw some other tanks, all filled with what Kokichi had called boring fish, and then they found themselves in the souvenir shop of the building.

“They are really a bunch of scoundrels.” Kokichi commented seeing kids crying and begging at every corner. “They reconstructed the whole place so they could force us to pass through the shop. It’s a trap for kids.”

Shuichi smiled, finally melting a little from his previous coldness caused by the incident.

“I’ve seen the same last year at the amusement park. After every attraction they placed the shop, before the exit, everyone was forced to see the plushies and mugs and whatnot.”

Last year? That Shuichi had gone to an amusement park, at some point in his life, was almost granted, but so recently? Normally one would go as a kid with the parents or something like that, Shuichi didn’t seem someone that would go with parents, last year nonetheless. He didn’t want to ask, but his curiosity got the best of him at the same time.

“Last year? You went with Momota?”

“No, with Rantaro.”

Uhh, well played. Shuichi used a completely neutral tone, like it was a given, and used his first name, to show ‘how close they were’. Shuichi, here and now, was making a statement: Rantaro is my boyfriend, don’t even try.

Impressive.

Kokichi kept a smirk off his face.

This was the Shuichi _he_ knew.

He had seen Kokichi’s plan coming from a mile away and he left him try anyway. Just to rejected him in the most merciless way possible on purpose after he had had his fun. Kokichi was holding Shuichi’s intelligence in too high consideration to think it was a misspeaking or a sentence thrown there by chance. Shuichi knew perfectly well what he was doing all the time, even if he was pretending not to.

But if he thought Kokichi would stop there, like a normal person, he was solely mistaken. Kokichi was not a normal person he didn’t have the obligation to stop anywhere. If anything this was making him more excited at the idea to play with the cards uncovered, now that Shuichi was part of the game. Rantaro may have thought he was a player, but from the very beginning he had been a pawn. A pawn for Shuichi to use.

How fitting that one that used to play with people was now being played in turn.

“So, are you two together since a long time ago? Curious, I don’t think you love him or anything.” let’s see if he liked the direct approach better.

“Really? What makes you think so?” Shuichi didn’t seem particularly surprised by this change in tactic, figured.

“Well, you were aware of what I was doing, since the beginning, right? And yet you let me, even if you were in a relationship, you decided to play along willingly. That alone says a lot about you. Why let me do what I wanted? You didn’t gain much from it.”

“On the contrary, I learned a lot.” for some reason Shuichi smirked. “You are more persistent than I thought. You are right, I knew what you were doing, but I wanted to know why and to what extent. I was a bit curious of you, you could say.”

“Really. Yet you still rather be with Amami than me?” what was the point of stopping himself now from asking?

“Of course. Rantaro is easy to manipulate, you on the other hand, are impossible to stir the direction I want. Why would I choose trouble rather than something easy? You are not worth it. But you provided a nice distraction, I thank you for that.” his smirk transformed into a smile.

Ah, it was _always so nice_. To be the only one to see the honest side of him. It was making his blood pumping harder.

“I know you like to manipulate people. But really? What’s the fun of playing only with people that falls for it easily? You really don’t like the idea of playing with someone on your league? It would certainly be more fun.” yes, it was an offering of temptation.

“Well, it was fun for a while, but then it only became problematic. Now I learned my lesson, I prefer to limit myself to only having some playtimes every once in a while. In the meantime, keeping my other options open let me have a nice safety net. I don’t want too much trouble in my life, and you definitely are. Oh and more importantly…” Shuichi smirked again. “You are not in my league.”

Kokichi felt his whole being twitch. _Oh, he had done it._ He already knew Shuichi was thinking that way, in every single universe, and Kokichi had been always so nice to let him believe it. But it was just that in the end, a make-believe. Shuichi was powerless like an ant against him, Kokichi could crush him in a thousand ways if he really wanted to. He could tear away this mask of him any moment and let all his ‘friends’ see the real him. Oh, but it was _so satisfying_ being the only one to know what kind of piece of shit Shuichi was. This was his treasure, he wasn’t letting anyone else have it.

_He loved the hunt._

However he could go and _ruin_ Shuichi’s reputation personally, he could _destroy_ all his relationships, he could _tear apart_ his faith that he could manipulate Amami, he could let him see just how someone that wasn’t afraid of trouble could become a nuisance, he could leave him with no choice but to__________

“Look, I’ll give you anything you want, just stay out of the way?”

Kokichi’s train of thoughts died. He stared Shuichi’s face hard, trying to understand what was this sudden change of attitude, again. Shuichi’s eyes didn’t meet his, he looked slightly more pale and nervous than before.

This was strange, and out of character.

Unless he was somehow manipulating Kokichi too.

Kokichi immediately tensed up, in high alert. Suddenly he wasn’t feeling as sure of himself, something felt amiss. He had missed something crucial, he just knew it. Was it possible that Kokichi had already fallen in Shuichi’s trap a long while ago? Maybe since starting this conversation. Irritation grew in him, because he was seriously thinking to give up this place and jump away.  After stirring up all this trouble what was the point if he was to give up so_____________

“I understand, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Do you want me to dump Rantaro and be your boyfriend instead? All right, I’ll do it. Just calm down, okay?” Shuichi was looking at him in the eyes again.

What the fuck was this? What was this _now_? Kokichi felt his nails digging the skin of his palms. What was this _pathetic exposition of defeat?_ He hated it. He didn’t know what the hell was Shuichi thinking right now but this was not what he was really feeling, this wasn’t him accepting Kokichi by his side as someone that could make his life more exiting, this was him trying to smoother over a potential trouble. _Like always!_ This was a kind of _giving up_ that Kokichi despised the most. He had chosen Shuichi because he was the only one capable of fighting, the only one perpetually _stuck in this fucking loop with him._ He wasn’t allowed to give up, he wasn’t allowed to treat him **_like a nuisance!_**

He wanted a heated fight for dominance, not this shit.

If this was Shuichi’s way of manipulating him it was working, he wanted the fuck out of here.

“You are bastard.” Kokichi smiled. “Fake as hell, everyone would hate the real you.”

Shuichi frowned.

“But you are lucky… because I still love how fake you are.”

He jumped away, with a smile.

 

* * *

 

 

**Save state?**

**> Yes**

**No**

**Type the element to transfer over:**

**> If I am fake… then what are you?**

**Confirm?**

**> Yes**

**No**

**Save state completed. Please wait.**

**Loading…**


	9. -122nd Playthrough

When he jumped, this time, Kokichi was so used to it that he just assessed his surroundings, almost bored.

Resigned.

He had jumped enough times to understand what was going on, to not ask any strange question, to not be surprised about anything. He was already fourteen as well, he was not a kid anymore. For the third time in a row he found himself in a ‘normal family’. He was an only child, with a father and a mother. Being this the second time he had both patents he didn’t waste the energy to feel odd about it, he just focused on learning the new home and new rules. It was not difficult this time around, the Kokichi that had lived this life was kind of boring.

He was part of the swimming team and a decent student. He had two close friends and some other acquaintances.

He learned after a while why this Kokichi had chosen to enter the swimming team. Rantaro Amami, his best friend, was in the team, and he was the most popular boy at the school. The swimming team in general was considered a paradise for girl, since they could find ways to sneak in the pool and spy on the guys, but after Rantaro joined it became their favorite pastime. Rantaro was, admittedly, fit and handsome, a very nice thing to look at. Kokichi was not talented in swimming, and who knew if he was even passionate about it. All things considered Kokichi, after possessing this body, decided he had done it for glory alone. He had hoped to get these nice abs that Rantaro was always sporting and probably some girl along with it.

Kokichi was not interested in neither these things, but he had to admit that he was lucky.

Getting to see so many guys half naked, or completely naked in the changing room, for free was definitely a genius move. The Kokichi of this universe maybe was straight, but Kokichi was not. Too bad for his teammates but Kokichi was not noble enough to say something or drop out of the team.

The only guy he never looked at was Rantaro. If they were friends then Kokichi definitely could not look at him that way, it would be too nasty. Luckily Rantaro was not Kokichi’s type either. He was always so expansive and cheerful, smiling and being friend with everyone, Kokichi couldn’t stand him as a boyfriend. He could go without nice abs if there wasn’t a personality to back them up.

On the other hand, for the first time ever, Kokichi felt like he was actually part of a group, he had actually at least a friend. Kaito had been pushed down in his memories until almost oblivion, Kaede had never been a friend, and in the previous universe he had not been able to connect with anyone. Rantaro was indeed the first person that looked almost completely normal. Almost, because he had too many girls fanning all over him and sometimes it would be annoying. Good thing he was male himself, or the girls would eat him alive. Jealousy was a ugly beast.

Together with him, Kokichi had been able to experience all the things people his age were doing, on a daily basis and not. Cinema, pizza even parties and vacations. He spent more than a whole year in this universe, which was not as much as the last one but still a good amount, and it would be the last one he would visit for so long as well.

A fifteen years old Kokichi was a Kokichi who had already lost most of his innocence, but at the same time a Kokichi who wished to live some normality, wherever he could find some. His life was the opposite of normal, so doing what people considered boring was novelty to him. Deep down in his heart somewhere he hoped he could remain there forever. He had a family, the universe was pretty standard without any particular quirk, he had a friend finally and… he had a crush.

Looking at the guys in the swimming team had been all fun and games, until he had seen the members of the track team. He couldn’t look at abs the same way after seeing the abs of the vice captain of the track team, one day in the courtyard during summer. If the swimming team was composed by guys with a pale skin, caused by the chlorine in the pool, the track team was composed by tanned jewels of the summer, and Kokichi was in love.

Kokichi had decided he was ‘not straight’ previously purely based on the fact that he hated girls, and so if he had to fall in love, may as well be a guy. There was no real reason besides that, he had not fallen in love with any member of any gender before then, so it didn’t really matter. But that guy, the vice captain, was something else. Like, he was literally on another level, girls had to be crazy liking Rantaro better than him. Or maybe not, maybe it was the fact that Rantaro was friendly, while this guy was only hanging out with his friends in the track team and practicing the rest of the time. He didn’t seem like someone that would speak too much either, he seemed too serious and focused to really care about anything else than what he wanted.

And that was a personality Kokichi could get behind to.

This was the extent that Kokichi learned in one day, after spying on him accidentally, or maybe not, during his day off practice.

Kokichi was fairly certain that this guy didn’t even know he existed on this world, which was pretty fair. Kokichi was a nobody. But this fact was only a pro, for Kokichi, who used it to his advantage to spy on him for the rest of the month and learn as much as he could about him.

Vice captain was a talented runner, but his size was making it hard for him to compete against the captain, who was probably half-giant or something, considering they were of the same age. The captain’s long legs were a weapon that he was not afraid to use, and the vice captain had to put double the effort to keep up with each stride. Which was easy to say, impossible to do, the captain was putting in as much effort as anyone else, if not more. On a more wide range, vice captain was well known but not particularly feared or looked up to, that had to be the captain. One of the things Kokichi focused more in spying was the relationship between the vice and the captain, he was very curious about how the two were with one another considering their status. Was the vice jealous of him, were they rivals? It turned out that reality was not as interesting as manga and anime; they were normal friends. Maybe vice captain was a little jealous, maybe he was frustrated and feeling useless, but if so he was very good at hiding it. One thing was for certain, he was definitely more suited at being a leader than the captain, he had the ability to make other people listen to him talking.

Kokichi was surely listening carefully.

After a month, acting like a common stalker as Kokichi would realize a little later with some more years on his back, Kokichi finally left the creepy phase and realized that he could do something more useful than that with his time. But love was not something he knew that well, even worst the process of courting someone. His only experience had been that fake dating he had done a while ago with that girl, and it had not been him the one to start it.

He confided his crush to Rantaro.

In his deep obsession, Kokichi had completely forgotten that liking a guy was not so common, and that he was part of the male swimming team, so technically he was being really nasty. He remembered it after seeing Rantaro’s face. He was already thinking about all the consequences that his forgetfulness was going to cost him, the loss of Rantaro’s friendship probably, even expulsion maybe, when Rantaro emerged back from his astonishment.

In retrospection, Rantaro’s fast acceptance of this new fact should have ring a bell of alarm in his head, but at that time Kokichi was just relieved that Rantaro didn’t accuse him of anything. On the contrary, he even encouraged him.

Rantaro joined him in his stalking, and Kokichi was proudly reporting all his knowledge of the guy to him. For some days Rantaro just listened and observed, learning all about him through Kokichi. For Kokichi, now that he had a friend with him, this became even more fun, it was almost like a game. The chasing was as fun as the actual contemplation of his target. Maybe more. After a little less than a week Rantaro had all the information he needed, according to him at least, and started to propose him plans of attack, to court him properly. Kokichi accepted his ideas, trusting him completely.

The first thing they did was to both introduce themselves, both to help Kokichi with his scarce courage and to deceive the vice captain a little better. The proposal that Rantaro had for him, obviously created based on the guy’s interests, was a joint practice session with the two teams. One day they would be hosting, one day being hosted. Rantaro was very persuasive, after all it was common knowledge that swimming was a good sport for build up multiple muscles, included the ones used for running. Vice captain, ever so serious and driven, immediately took the bait, accepting their proposal. One good point about being the best friend of the captain of the swimming team was that only Rantaro had the authority to decided a join practice session, and having him on his side saved Kokichi a bunch of time. He would never have enough nerve to ask if the captain had been someone else, truthfully.

The jointed practice went very well, it was true that they both could learn something from the other team, so it wasn’t completely selfish to take this decision. Kokichi however needed to stand out more, because he had never been a champion in the team, for sure he would not impress vice captain with his swimming alone. Rantaro gave him the ‘duty’ of being the host, so he was the one accompanying them around and showing what to do. Being vice captain very serious this tactics was bound to succeed, since he could think Kokichi had a similar mindset as him. He just needed to convince him that he was an ally.

Of course this was not all there was to it.

The next step was to make it personal, since Kokichi could not use the excuse of practice to talk to him all the times. Kokichi was not, yet, a persuasive speaker, he couldn’t force everyone to follow his pace when it was about chatting. The previous universes had taught him how to not trust people and how to stop being disappointed in his cursed destiny, but he hadn’t lost his sense of shame just yet.

Make it personal was easier said than done, vice captain's interests, the ones that Kokichi was aware of at least, were not many and mostly boring. He liked music as much as the next person, same with cinema, videogames and tv series. Of course Kokichi could talk about all that, and he was every so often, but how to make an impression? He couldn’t exactly invite him on a date out of the blue, that would be weird. At least he knew for a fact that he didn’t have a girlfriend or a crush, but that was far from helpful.

His best alternative for a date was going out together with the captains, a date of four guys, with the pretence of checking the progress of both teams, even though Kokichi was not the vice himself. After two 'dates' Kokichi was pretty sure he could consider himself his friend, which was already a step forward, and they had talked a fair amount to justify Kokichi going to his classroom during recess. Things were progressing really slowly but steadily, so Kokichi was pretty much satisfied. He, true to be told, wasn’t really hoping to be his boyfriend, just part of his life. He had a feeling he wasn’t his type, and that was fine. Kokichi liked to speak with him, but more than that liked to observe him move and speak, his confidence and ability to lead. Kokichi admired him, and if nothing was going to bloom from this it was fine too.

What he was not expecting was the complete turn of the table right under his nose.

Vice captain was often spending time with him, but never alone, always with other people around, but when Kokichi noticed one thing it was like a veil was ripped from in front of his eyes. Vice captain and Rantaro had exchanged numbers and were often chatting, even when Kokichi was with him. At first he didn’t give that fact much relevance, because he knew the two were talking sometimes to organize some meetings and there was even a camp planned for the next break, but the number of texts didn’t match. They were talking too much. Slowly he made some more connections, like the fact that after the first joint practice Rantaro had stopped helping him at all, just responding ‘that’s good’ every time Kokichi would describe something that had happened to him. The time Kokichi was spending with Rantaro had obviously been cut in half, but in the last few days the two had barely talked. Kokichi was distracted, but not really busy, but what was the excuse Rantaro had to avoid him? Not to mention Rantaro and vice captain were talking _a lot_ more than Kokichi and him. If he was supporting him then why rob all vice captain’s time during practice?

It was like it was Kokichi who was the third wheel, not the opposite.

He started to revert back to his stalkerish habit, but now he had two targets instead of one. He needed to make sure that his suspicions were wrong, he had to. It was true that he was okay with not becoming his boyfriend, but if his thought was right then the problem as somewhere else entirely. A couple universes back he wouldn’t suspect Rantaro of betrayal, but he was not that Kokichi anymore, so he got his answers.

The answers confirmed that the world, or more precisely the biggest majority of people in it, was a piece of shit.

Rantaro, a true master in sneaking behind people’s back, had used Kokichi as a icebreaker to obtain what he wanted. He pretended to give Kokichi a push on the back making him blind of what was happening behind him, which was Rantaro making himself look even more amazing than he normally was in vice captain’s eyes. Kokichi showed him around the swimming team, and Rantaro took it to the max by demonstrating his winning spirit. Kokichi was being a medium for them to communicate, making it seem like Rantaro was the one really interested in joining forces.

Kokichi became a nice guy, supporting and exalting Rantaro’s qualities. 

He had been used to create a path for Rantaro to walk, looking like a diva, while Kokichi was sweating with a shovel in hand.

Of course, there was still the possibility that it had not been done maliciously, maybe it was just a consequence of the events that had not be planned at the start by anyone. Kokichi didn’t believe it, but it was possible.

Throwing cautiousness to the wind, since he didn’t have anything to lose anyway, he overcome shame and every other potential obstacle and confronted Rantaro directly. He did it after the two had met, spying their movements and planning ahead of time, so to make sure he wouldn’t need to convince him he knew the truth. Having to deal with all the ‘I don’t know what you are talking about’ was too much of a pain for Kokichi to bear right now. So he timed his entrance perfectly, waiting until the last second before vice captain could disappear beyond the horizon and asked all he wanted to ask, not holding back. He gave him the benefit of the doubt, only asking him when and why he had decided to start acting behind his back. Rantaro, as expected, tried to play the card of innocence, that the two were just friends and that Kokichi was misunderstanding. At that Kokichi asked, being Rantaro Kokichi’s friend _first_ and supposedly he should have been his support as well, when was he planning to tell him that he had become better friend with vice-captain than him. If he wasn’t doing anything bad then why keep it a secret? Unless he was certain that he was better suited for vice captain, as a friend or more.

It took a while, but in the end Rantaro confessed. With a theatrical sigh, like Kokichi was being overly dramatic or childish, he claimed that he had never promised him that vice captain would like Kokichi more than anyone else. He had just said he was going to help him start and then he had to capture him on his own power. He said it was not his fault that vice captain thought he was boring. What Rantaro didn’t know yet, was that Kokichi was used, since Kaede, to being talked down, to be humiliated, so this didn’t come to him as shocking or anything, he was barely affected. Kokichi instead counterattacked, asking him if he had been interested in the vice captain since before Kokichi talked about him, since before his stalking. Even thought he was asking, Kokichi was already pretty convinced this could not be the case. During his stalking Kokichi had never noticed him at all. The answer was what he expected, but the actual reason took him by surprise.

Rantaro had done it because he didn’t agree with Kokichi having a new friend, even worst a boyfriend. He was jealous of him. But not in a romantic way, Rantaro didn’t love him, no, it was possession. Rantaro said that since vice captain had entered Kokichi’s mind he had paid more attention to him than to Rantaro, and he wasn’t going to allow him that. Rantaro was the most popular guy in school, he was desired and admired, there couldn’t be anyone else Kokichi could like better.

His reason was completely beyond Kokichi’s comprehension, so he didn’t even try, it was just a waste of time. Rantaro that was not worth his time, even if he apparently liked to think he _owned_ Kokichi’s time, or something. In any event Kokichi was done with this place, and with him. He asked only one more thing to him before jumping, because he was genuinely curious. He asked him if he wasn’t feeling even a little bit guilty about betraying Kokichi’s trust.

Rantaro laughed.


	10. 4th Playthrough

Kokichi was lying on the top bed of a bunk bed.

Not a bad place to start a new universe from, but Kokichi wasn’t really feeling like starting anything right now. It was a cute coincidence that the Kokichi who had lived here until today had decided to isolate himself, even thought it was only afternoon.

A part of him wanted to run around screaming, to dispel his irritation and exceeding energy, the other part wanted to bury himself in the sheets and not come back for the whole day, because he was tired. A part of him wanted to get up and find a way to harass Shuichi, for vengeance and to _show him_ , what wasn’t clear, the other part just wanted a break. He had changed universe multiple times in the last few months, and while it was making his life spicy, it was quite an emotional burden as well. Kokichi was strong and uncaring, but wasn’t made of steel, sometimes he needed to blend in the background a little, without do anything in particular. The last universe had been the most tiring one he had had in a while, and there was no guarantee that Shuichi was available here, while he surely couldn’t be far because that never happened since Kokichi was a kid.

Sometimes Kokichi had had a faint feeling of nostalgia.

Nostalgia for the life he never got to live. He was free like no one else, but he was trapped like no one else. Sometimes he was feeling so alone, like he was the only human in the world, everyone else was just flavor.

Technically Kokichi could do anything. Kill, rape, destroy, break. No life was important besides his, because he could reset them anytime. The only reason he was not doing it was because of his own morals, but nothing else was stopping him. He had lost, in the past, a bunch of hours of sleep thinking about what he was leaving behind himself, after every jump. At first he tried to not touch anything important, not to leave any ruin behind. To make his presence as little and inconsequential as possible. As he got used to this life he became more lax, not worrying more than strictly necessary. He became uninterested about people’s feeling and relationships, if he was capable of breaking them with the amount of nothing he was doing then there was no meaning in the first place. But to physically hurt someone… was still beyond him.

Yet, if he was to kill Shuichi in any universe he would still appear in the next one, for sure.

Kokichi was wondering how long until some of these temptations would start to surface, if he kept living like this. Would he go crazy with solitude or by feeling omnipotent?

Sure, he could stop jumping, he could settle down. But would he really do it? Living the rest of his life with the thought bugging him? The thought that all he was doing was completely meaningless, and this universe, any universe, was not his home, but just a foster care?

Sometimes Kokichi wondered if it was supposed to be a metaphor of his life, as an orphan.

If it was, it was a shitty metaphor decided by a petty God.

And that was why Shuichi was so important. If there was a single person, beside himself, that showed even a little bit of sharpness that had to be Shuichi. He was the only one able to blend in every universe like a chameleon, but it wasn’t like he was part of the world, he seemed to almost bend the world to his wishes, which was even more amazing. Kokichi liked his ability, but more importantly, Shuichi was able of making him feel a little less alone.

Even though he pretty much hated him always.

“Kokichi, are you unwell?” a voice that Kokichi recognized came from the door, he hadn’t notice it opening.

Gonta was standing there, he had a strange uniform of the same color as mud that looked almost a military uniform. On his side was dangling something that looked like a bug cage, made of plastic glass probably. Inside Kokichi could see a rhinoceros beetle, on display like a trophy. He also had a golden beetle pin pinned to the chest. Kokichi wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be a boy scout or what.

He looked in his element much more than any other time though.

“I’m fine, I just don’t want to get up right now.” he answered honestly, for a change.

“Oh, Gonta see. It’s okay if you are tired, today expedition was... Everyone is having a barbeque right now, if you want to come it’s okay later as well.” he said then left, thankfully being considerate of his decision.

Expedition, huh? Then he really was something like a boy scout. Now that he was looking at it, the room he was in had walls made of logs, everything, from the floor to the ceiling, was made of wood. They were probably in a forest, or something similar anyway. In his previous universe they were almost upon the exams of the end of the year, not yet in summer vacation, and he wasn’t moving in time, only in space. It should still be the same day, school should not be over yet. What was he doing, boy scouting before the end of the school year? Not that he cared, it was just odd. He hoped this wasn’t another strange universe like the cult one. That reminded him that he should write down the number, before he could forget. He got up and used the first thing he found, a notebook with dark colored pages.

_Universe 130; Previous – Crazy Feminists_

And that was two ‘crazy’ in a row.

He played with the pen a little, not sure of what he wanted to do, if take a look around or go back to bed. He decided for the latter, even thought he already knew he was not going to fall asleep. He buried again in the sheets and tried to empty his mind completely, to rest. Of course it was not so easy, his mind was rarely resting, and when one was stuck into this strange joke of a life they had a tendency to become obsessive. And Kokichi was already prone to obsession even when left alone. His need to assess his surroundings and learn where Shuichi was as present as ever.

In his silence and stillness he started to hear distant sounds coming from outside the room. Some of them were clearly voices, many of them. The people having a barbeque outside, surely. He wanted to keep still and ignore them, they were having fun without him, big news, but he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to hear more. Before he could realize he ended up distracting himself from his thoughts, and his will to get up grew.

If he wanted to analyze his behavior and find a rational reason, Kokichi could easily find out that his nostalgia was eating him, he needed company, even thought he hated people. It was a circle of misery he couldn’t leave. But he refused to analyze his behavior, he just followed his needs, he didn’t need that kind of depression right now.

Outside of the room was still all made in wood, confirming his impression that this was a wooden cabin in the woods. His room was close to the end of the hallway, he was immediately outside. As Gonta had anticipated him, everyone was fussing over one of the two grills. They were in a large clearing in the middle of a forest of some kind, Kokichi could not recognize the trees, they were different from the usual ones. As soon as he left the cabin a hot humidity hit him, together with the stinking smell of smoke and meat. The cabin he had just left was not the only one, there were other three and a bigger building a little further from them. It was already sunset, and the sky was orange, coloring the grass and trees around faintly.

It wasn’t a bad scenery, except it was too hot for it to be a normal day of April. Where were they?

“Oh, Kokichi! Finally you showed up!” Yumeno addressed him with her mixed lazy-enthusiast tone, something that only she could pull off. “Where is your shirt? You shouldn’t be around without it, it’s against the rules, you are going to make us lose points…” she pointed at Kokichi’s chest.

Looking around he noticed that everyone was wearing the same uniform as Gonta, but some of them had a golden snake on their chest instead of the beetle. It seemed like they were divided in two teams, and Kokichi was the only one not wearing the top part of the uniform, he had left with what he had already on, which was a white shirt with short sleeves. He contemplated a moment to remain like this and don’t give a damn about the rules and ‘points’, but he wasn’t in a condition to discuss with anyone. He returned inside without answering her.

Back in his room he opened the drawer and searched for the uniform. His uniform, Kokichi recognized it because of the size, was sitting next to one that was even smaller than his. The only person he could thing would fit and was a male was Hoshi. Hoshi was his new roommate. The news didn’t gave him any particular emotion, Hoshi was one of the few people Kokichi had mostly ignored so far. He never got in the way, and Kokichi never got on his way as well. Hopefully the trend would still stand in this universe as well. Both their uniforms had a beetle on it, just like Yumeno and Gonta’s. It wasn’t often that he was in a group with the three of them. If he could avoid Rantaro, Kaito and Kaede this time he was already happy.

Wearing the uniform he left again, this time no one said anything. He looked around and noticed that they were divided in two groups even around the grills. It seemed that each group was cooking only for themselves. He was part of the ‘beetles’ group together with: Gonta, Hoshi, Yumeno, Kiibo, Toujo, And Iruma. All of Kokichi’s beloveds, like Rantaro and Kaede, were together with Shuichi, in the snakes team. The irony was not lost on Kokichi.

“Kokichi, help with the meat.” Hoshi didn’t waste time with pleasantries, just giving him orders.

Today Kokichi was completely fine with orders. Him and his team worked silently and efficiently, meat and vegetables were grilled one by one and piled up on large plates. Gonta reserved him a smile when he saw him. Kokichi was in charge of placing the raw meat on the grill when the cooked one was ready, Yumeno was doing the same with vegetables. Toujo was the one doing the cooking, turning the ingredients so they were equally grilled on all sides. Gonta and Hoshi were in charge of the fire, adding little sticks that they had collected in a pile nearby. Kiibo was taking care of the cooked ingredients, adding salt and other aromatic herbs. The other team was doing the same, Rantaro was in charge of the cooking. Shuichi was in charge of the salt, together with Shirogane and Shunguji.

Kokichi noticed, in the back of his mind, that all the people in the two groups were people Kokichi had met multiple times, no new faces were to be seen. But he didn’t focus on this aspect right now, he was busy studying Shuichi’s behavior. He was all smiles and nice voice with everyone, always so useful and gentle.

This was his mask, to keep everyone close, but at an arm length away.

The real Shuichi wasn’t so nice, just smart. He wasn’t actively trying to hurt people, not like Rantaro or Kaede, so he was better than them but just as manipulating. He was mostly trying to make life better for himself, by moving people in a way that was beneficial for him. Everyone was, of course, to some extent doing the same, everyone was changing slightly depending on who was in front of them, but most of them weren’t so skilled, or so deep into the lie. Most of them were crumbling under impatience or pressure and turning back to themselves, but not Shuichi. No one but him knew the real Shuichi, everyone was sure he was really this nice guy. And he was actively avoiding Kokichi, because he reeked of trouble according to Shuichi.

That explained a lot. If Shuichi shared the same mentality in every universe then it really explained a lot. No matter where, he would always smell his scent of trouble. So Kokichi was fucked.

Fascinating, worth a better investigation.

But not now, now he was hungry and wanted to eat this grilled meat. When the cooking was done two adults, or at the very least older guys, appeared from the bigger building in the distance. Kokichi didn’t pay too much attention to what happened next, but it seemed they were evaluating the job and assigning points to each team based on the quantity and quality, plus cooperation. It seemed that Toujo’s cooking made then win the competition, they gained 20 points, while the other team 15 points. The two adults added the point on a bulletin board that was in the middle of the two cabins. One of the cabin, the one he had left before, had a beetle printed on the door, while the other had a snake. The dormitories were divided by teams then, not genders. The bulletin board was full of stuff, too many things for Kokichi to look at while he was so hungry, but the most noticeable thing were the two squares with the two animal printed on it and a number above each. 45 for the beetles and 48 for the snakes. The snakes were winning.

Once the judgment of the food ended they sat at the two table, once again divided in the two groups. Everyone was more relaxed and they started to chat, but Kokichi ignored everyone to eat with gluttony. Even as he was eating he couldn’t avoid listening in to some of the discussions, but they were mainly focused on the points and the competition. It seemed that they had completed some kind of excursion that day, the snakes had won two of three tasks in it, and so they had gained the lead. The meal had helped them equilibrate again the rankings.

Kokichi wasn’t very interested, since this was not his competition for real, he didn’t listen or ask for more details. It seemed that the excursion was an event contained in a enclosed niche of time, not something he had to worry about too much. He ate his fill, then waited for the others because he didn’t want to give any explanation of his behavior and went back to his room together with Hoshi, when the sun had already set a while ago. Darkness had enveloped the place, they could see thanks to the fires, but it seemed like they were pretty far from civilizations. In his room he realized he needed a shower, he was pretty smelly, but he was too tired, and so he postponed it to the next day. Hoshi took his shower without a word instead.

The next day he was a little more rested, but completely sore. He didn’t know where they had gone with this expedition but it seemed to him like he had climbed three mountains and return. He was confident that it wouldn’t be enough to skip the day and stay in bed, so he prepared for the shower. Going outside filthy as he was could potentially be interesting, just to see everyone giving him a disgusted look, but not this time around, he was still not cheerful enough to joke and be under everyone’s eyes. He undressed and his joints all hurt in odd places.

As of habit, he checked the number and his heart almost leaped out of his chest.

What the hell happened to the last 20-so numbers? He was so much closer to zero than he had thought. What if—?

Something else caught his eyes. There were several bruises both on his back and front and even on his arms. They weren’t particularly big, except for one on his arm, but they were still unsettling. He wanted to know how he had end up in this condition. If someone was beating him up he was out of this universe, he was out so fast. The time for him to be anyone’s victim had ended a long time ago. He poked at a couple of them and they hurt just as bad as they looked, which was very nice. Besides being trapped, being hurt was his second favorite thing in the world. He showered and put on a clean uniform, then he asked Hoshi what to do with the dirty one and he said to use the laundry room on the other end of the cabin hallway. Inside that room wasn’t, as Kokichi had hoped, a washing machine, but just a washbasin, a wooden basket and a bottle of detergent. Boy shouting taken seriously, huh? Luckily Kokichi had learned a long time ago how to take care of himself. Precisely the first time he had landed in a universe where he lived alone, in a apartment rented for him by his parents so he could be close to his school. Of all the possible accommodations, past the initial feeling of being lost, that was his preferred one.

He hung up to dry the wet, and hopefully clean, uniform and ate breakfast with the others in the same table as last night. Then the two adults returned and handed out some tasks for each of them, but they gave the same task to one person of both teams. Kokichi didn’t know what to think when he discovered that he had been assigned to organize the wood for the fire with Shuichi. They had to make piles with the fresh cut small pieces. The both of them trapped inside a small room in the back of the main building. He searched his mind for some kind of reaction, but all he found was exhaustion. He was so tired of playing this game right now.

He ignored Shuichi, blocking him from his mind and focusing only on his task. He wasn’t interested in the competition, he just wanted to get it done and distract himself by moving his hands. Creating a perfectly straight pile of wood was easy, because the person that prepared the wood had cut the pieces in a very similar length, compared to Shuichi’s that were kind of uneven. Kokichi’s soreness however got in the way much more, Shuichi didn’t seem nearly as tired as him, he was raising piece after piece like they were weightless. Kokichi’s arms, especially the hurt one, were too unsteady, he often had to grab a single piece with both hands. He wasn’t even halfway through when he decided to take a break, almost thinking of jumping away but pushing the thought away. He wasn’t in the mood to start something all over again, the logs were going to be piled up when he was feeling it, no one could force him.

“Why are you here?” Shuichi’s voice came suddenly.

Kokichi raised his head to look at him from the place where he had decided to sit down. Shuichi had stopped working and was looking at him with a faint frown.

“What do you mean?” where was ‘here’? In this room or in this camp?

“You fell off the path yesterday, you rolled down the burrow almost twenty feet.” he was frowning now. “It’s a miracle you didn’t break anything. Your incident was lucky for us, since you forced Gonta to carry you back and that made your team fail the task, but you were out for a while. I know your team is keeping quiet because they don’t want to lose points because of the danger you faced, but you shouldn’t be here. What if you have some internal bleeding?”

That explained the bruises and the soreness, maybe even him being so tired and lethargic, but his speech made him irrationally angry.

“So what? What do you care? It’s not like you would care if I died. Spare me your charade, liar.”

Shuichi became rigid like a rock for a second, his expression freezing on his face. Then it became hostile.

“Maybe, but if you die here I’ll have all the trouble pushed on me. They are going to question me and until they understand your cause of death I’ll be a suspect of murder. No, thank you. Go die somewhere else out of my sight.”

“Heh, that’s so you. Truth is, you don’t want me here because if I start to feel sick you’ll need to do something to help, and that’s a pain to you. You can’t leave me here alone, yet you don’t want to be involved with me. My presence is an annoyance to you.” Kokichi smiled.

Shuichi looked torn between being extremely offended and positively impressed, which Kokichi expected coming from him. Offended, because it was natural instinct to go defensive when someone was labeling you as a horrible human being, impressed because then he could cross Kokichi off his list of people he needed to deceive. But, as Kokichi had already experimented, last time just in the previous universe, Shuichi disliked spending time with people crossed off his list, so Kokichi had excluded himself with this move. Not that he cared right now, it felt good to badmouth him openly for once.

“We have hardly interacted in these last five days, since we are in a different team. When have you had the time to evaluate me so closely?” Shuichi was glaring at him, as excepted irritation had won.

“Your tricks maybe work with the others, but I’m not so naïve or stupid, to me it was easy to see you through. Don’t worry, I’m not interested in selling you off. The less I interact with people the happier I am. Just don’t try them with me, I’m not in the mood.” Kokichi waved a hand to shoo him away.

Shuichi stared at him a while longer, calculating the new situation. In the silence Kokichi pretended to ignore him, massaging his muscles. Shuichi finally turned and returned to his work. He spoke one last time, not facing him.

“Just don’t die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!   
> Double chapter!  
> The previous chapter was probably frustrating to read by itself, after waiting a week, so I decided to be a nice person :3


	11. -123rd Playthrough

After leaving Kaede and his adoptive parents behind he found himself in another new reality.

When he came to his senses he was with his nose pressed against a glass pane of a window, on the top floor of a skyscraper. He jumped away from it, scared of the height, and looked around. He was inside a very fancy loft completely different from anything he had seen so far. He didn’t even know where to start in here, was this his home now?

Whoever he was living with, his parents or whatnot, were not home, on the other hand a _butler_ was there for him.

Kokichi had the powerful instinct to ask for help, because he was feeling like he was going crazy, but he would really be considered crazy if he asked for help right now. He had chosen to change life, but that didn’t mean he was unaffected by it. He had to learn everything all over again, people, places, past. The psychological weight of having to interrogate this man while not making him suspecting anything was so great that Kokichi refused to confront it right now. Unless Kokichi of this universe was a very cheerful and chatty, as long as he was staying silent he could maybe avoid any question or decision. The butler asked him what he wanted for dinner, Kokichi told him that whatever was fine and tried to look as calm as he could as he tried to find his room. Since the butler had called him Young Master Ouma he took for granted that this was his home and he was at his service. The first three rooms that he found were a bathroom, the laundry room next door and a study. A bedroom was behind the fourth door but it couldn’t be his, the furniture was way too mature and there was nothing suitable for a guy his age, the bed was double sized too, if he needed more proof.

The next room, on the other side of the hallway, was surely his room.

True, it was still very bare compared to the one he had in his previous house, but the mood was definitely that of a teenager in his early stage of adolescence. There were two posters on the wall of some band Kokichi didn’t even know, a console on the floor next to a very expensive looking flat screen tv, a racket filled with CDs and another one with movies. On the wall opposite to the bed was a big bookshelf, something a little less adolescent like, and next to it a neatly organized desk. All the furniture was either black or white, even the wood had that color, and so was the bedspread.

If Kokichi had to describe this place he would say: “This is the room and a teenager with too much money that is trying to impress all his friends by looking sophisticated.”

 If this was the personality of this Kokichi then he wasn’t confident he could pull it off. He had spent the last few years pretending he was invisible, to avoid trouble. This was like a completely flip of character. How were his parents or guardians? Rich as fuck, that was for sure.

Dinner was a feast, but not exactly in a positive way. Kokichi had never seen so many dishes all for him, no one had come home yet, but he wasn’t a glutton or a big eater, this food was wasted on him. Not to mention he had rarely eaten alone before. In the orphanage he was eating always with people, a lot of them, in his previous family he was eating with Kaede and the mother always, at dinner even the father was present. Right now he was sitting on a wide and long table filled with small portion of dishes completely alone, only the butler was staring at him from a corner, making him even more uncomfortable.

After dinner he went back to his room, his butler thankfully didn’t follow or bother him again. This seemed like the normal routine for this Kokichi. He looked through all the things he had, which were much more than he ever had in his whole life and his mood cleared up thinking about how many games he could play that he would have never tried otherwise.

He was in the middle of the third level of the platform game he had chosen to try first when he heard voices coming from down the hallway, in the main room. He recognized the butler and there was another male voice. Kokichi paused the game and left the room, hoping to meet finally his ‘parents’, or at least one of them. What he found in the living room was a man, still quite young, in expensive clothes and with a frown on his face. His hair color and general feature were making pretty evidence that they had to be related. The man turned after hearing his steps, unraveling a black scarf from his neck.

“Kokichi, why are you still awake? It’s past ten, you should be sleeping.” he wasn’t being harsh, but not friendly either.

“Sorry, I just wanted to welcome you back before sleeping.” Kokichi hurried on the defensive.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to do that.” he scrutinized him a little. “Unless there is something you have to tell me?”

“No, no, nothing. I really just wanted to…” he didn’t know how to explain that he wanted to see his father’s face for the first time, or else he would screw up later.

His father sudied his expression a little while longer before giving up, probably not detecting anything special.

“Your cram school called. They said you are progressing as excepted and you won’t have any problem enter high school. Yet I wish you would take a little more seriously your position. You are never doing anything more than what asked, never showing any initiative… That’s not good, initiative is often the key to being successful.” he sat on a white couch, his voice was gentle but his words were making Kokichi nervous. “I know you won’t need to work for a living, not unless you are stupid and lavish all I gained in my days, but you already know that whatever you decide to do with your life you need to be strong. Anyone will be after you, after the money, the fame or trying to drag you down. I want you to be prepared. I’m not expecting you to do what I do, just don’t sleep on your future.” he started scattering around papers.

Kokichi didn’t know how to answer to that. It didn’t seem an answer was needed in the first place.

“But all that after you go to sleep, young man!” he raised his eyes from the paper and ordered.

Kokichi nodded and ran back to his room. He finished the third level of the game, because no way he was closing before saving, and went to sleep.

The next day he had breakfast alone, his father had already left, again. Kokichi wondered where was his mother, or if there even was a mother in the family. The butler gave him a fresh uniform to wear, it was still a little warm from the iron, and then waited for him at the front door. Kokichi consulted his agenda, a perfectly planned agenda too, which Kokichi suspected was not actually been kept this way by him, and found out the books he was supposed to bring to school. Leaving he took an elevator and then the butler gave him a ride in a car that wasn’t a limousine, but something too close to it to comfort. Kokichi sat on the back seat and tried to enjoy the ride, but failed. He liked better his normal life, this felt like everyone was expecting a lot out of him, and he could never give that much to them. He wondered, brushing his palms against his pants to dry out the cold sweat that was starting to form, how his school was going to be. If it was filled with rich people he was not confident he could keep up.

His relief was immense when he discovered that his school was a normal one.

Well sure, it was a private school, and it looked a tad more well kept than the one he had attended until that day, but it was still… well, _normal._

No one paid him mind when he emerged from his limousine kinda car, nor when his butler gave him a list of recommendations for the day. Kokichi listened patiently, or more precisely looked around at everything and everyone to see if there was someone that was looking at him. If he needed any proof that they were used to him having this treatment now he had them. No one was giving him more than a casual look, like he had happened to be in their line of sight. This gave him another information as well; he was not popular, not even here where he was rich.

After his butler left he made his way into the school, making sure to look at the bulletin boards for the list of attendances, so he could see in what class he was. The trend continued, with him being ignored, until he entered his classroom, where he saw someone he hadn’t seen in years, and he had hoped to never seen him again.

Kaito Momota was a part of this class.

Panic grabbed his heart. He had never met someone from a previous universe until then, this was the first time. Until that day he had thought the universes could never overlap, that they were completely separated and never sharing parts. But he had been wrong, they could have some common elements. He looked around to see if Kaede was somewhere as well, he wasn’t sure he could handle them both. Some of the desks were still empty, so he could not say it for certain, but currently Kaede was not in the classroom. He breathed again, but then focused again on Kaito, which was not looking at him, he was chatting with two of his friends.

What would Kokichi do if he remembered him? If he remembered everything?

Well, Kaito was the one that needed to feel ashamed, not him. Still, there was something deeply uncomfortable in this situation. If Kaito remembered him like the stupid loser he had been in the past, wouldn’t that compromise his life as the son of an influential man? Not that Kokichi did anything to deserve this kind of life but at the same time he hadn’t done anything to not deserve to be happy either.

He grasped the handle of his bag as strongly as he could and started walking again. He looked at the seat assignment on the side of the board and then sat down. He stared at Kaito, waiting for him do see him and do _something._ Either recognize him or not. If he had to confront something like this better do it immediately than waiting in fear for a long time. And he couldn’t escape out of the classroom anyway, what would he do, pretending he was sick?

Kaito didn’t recognize him.

Or, well, he did recognize him, but just as his classmate, nothing else. Thinking about it, Kokichi realized that he was in the same classroom as him since a long while ago, if it was the same Kaito he should have recognize him immediately, not this one random day. Unless his own consciousness was moving along with Kokichi, and that was too creepy to accept as a possibility.

Kokichi felt an immense relief, and a strange sour aftertaste as the same time.

The following weeks Kokichi started to get used to his new life, there were good and bad things, of course. In the school he was mostly ignored, he got the vibe they didn’t know how to interact with him, and he didn’t know how to interact either so it was fine by him. But no one was mean to him, or avoiding him, if he asked for something they would answer, and even do team efforts was not a problem. Cram school was hard, but fair. In his same class were a bunch of people in a similar social status as him, many of them had a butler or a nanny, so no one had a special privilege or more visibility, they were all treated severely equally. Kokichi didn’t dislike it, aside from some headaches with geometry, he liked to be followed closely in his studies.

He soon ended up creating a bond with the butler, who was basically his grandfather but a bit less affective. He was there for everything, and any problem Kokichi was confronting, he could discuss it with him. He also modified a little his cooking style after Kokichi proposed to stop wasting so much food on a single person. Kokichi had a predetermined sum of money to spend the way he wanted every month, which meant that anything he wanted he could get by asking the butler to buy it for him. His father, when Kokichi asked for the first time what he should do with the money, told him that he was to learn how to manage himself by never asking permission, but instead setting himself a priority scale to follow. If the money were all depleted before the end of the month his father would detract a 5% each time from the next sum. Kokichi was kind of impressed by this managerial mentality applied to parenting, it was like he was taking Kokichi really seriously, like he was already an adult. But this complete lack of filter between what he wanted and what he could get was making Kokichi a little anxious, so he secretly asked the butler to help him. The butler had smiled fondly and agreed, but he said that he was going to only remind him when he was halfway through the money and he would double ask each time Kokichi would ask something unreasonable, nothing else. All this only until Kokichi was fifteen, by then he should already be grown enough to learn this kind of limit by himself. Kokichi, who was eleven years old, felt respected like never before.

His relationship with his father was similarly good, while not as affectionate. His father was a really busy man, and was at home only every once in a while at a decent time, most of the times he was home deep into the night or only in the morning, when Kokichi was at school. He wasn’t a father Kokichi could talk about games, or what he had done with friends, or anything like that, he was too serious to have time to listen to stuff like those. Yet Kokichi never had this kind of relationship with a parent before, he had been orphan or adopted, he didn’t know how to be a real son, just like he didn’t know how to be a real father. Even so, he was never pushy, always leaving Kokichi decide for himself everything that wasn’t part of predetermined rules and he could listen to him, as long as it was about things he could relate, like school, projects or plans for the future. All things considered he was a little intimidating, enough to not stimulate personal confessions, but not enough to make Kokichi feel relieved when he was not there.

He had searched through his father’s room one day, when the butler was downstairs doing groceries. He needed to quell once and for all his curiosity about his mother and he really could not ask any of the two men in the house. On the nightstand was a picture of his father and a woman, she was quite beautiful, with curly black hair and porcelain skin. She also had a long elegant dress, while him, by her side, was in his normal suit. With expensive jewelry by her neck and ears, plus a golden bracelet on her wrist she looked very rich, sophisticated and impressive. Leaving the picture aside he searched through the drawers, trying to not snoop too much or disturb anything inside. He found some documents, insurances and the marriage certificate, some other papers he could not recognize and that he left alone, and a box.

Inside the box was what Kokichi was searching for, mementos. There were the same earrings in the picture, a bracelet and a hair ornament. A marriage picture, a picture of Kokichi as a baby in her arms, and two hospital bracelets, his and his mother’s. Inside a smaller box was a ring, a wedding ring. It wasn’t his father’s, he had still his on his finger, so it had to be his mother’s. He didn’t think his father would keep the ring on if they were divorced, she probably died. He couldn’t say he was feeling sad about it, he had never known this woman, but she looked beautiful and happy in the pictures, it was certainly a pity. The last thing in the box was a stack of letters. Kokichi supposed that when the two had met technology wasn’t so advanced yet, but it still felt strange to see physical letters made of paper. Or maybe it was just him, he surely never received a letter before. The letters were from when they were still in their early twenty, before the marriage. She had been a model, and he had met her during a social event for people that were climbing the rankings of society. It seemed they had ended up climbing the ranks together, after marriage.

His investigation was therefore completed.

Kokichi wasn’t missing friends per se, since he never had many and this wasn’t so different, but he was feeling a little lonely. At school no one liked him very much, while no one disliked either, and so Kokichi was basically hanging out with people aimlessly all the time. Whether he was doing of his own free will or not, Kokichi ended up favoring Kaito’s group of friends. He was spending most of his free time at school with them and sometimes even after school, when he wasn’t returning home or going to cram school. But it would be wrong to think he was doing it because he was feeling good with being with them, quite the opposite. In an almost masochistic way of thinking, he was spending time with them because he couldn’t get Kaito out of his mind, his frustration with him in particular. Kaito, similarly to last time, was the leader of the group, always at the center of the attention. Kokichi didn’t share their enthusiasm for him, he didn’t think he deserved to be looked up that much. He was spending all his time thinking if he should feel ashamed he was judging him from a past mistake made in a different universe, or no. He was feeling… unsatisfied. He was intentionally prodding at him more often than not, aware that he was looking pitiful, with the objective of getting Kaito to do _something._ He couldn’t feel in peace with himself unless Kaito apologized to him, which was absurd and impossible, since he couldn’t remember.

Wasn’t it a cruel joke that he couldn’t get any apology even though he was feeling like he deserved it?

He was so focused and obsessed on Kaito that he missed tons of opportunity to find some better friends, and so Kokichi grew up with this feeling of duality. He was happy and respected at home as much as he was unhappy and unsatisfied about his social life.

At the age of fourteen Kokichi was growing up into a fine young man, with mannerism and competences superiors to all his peers. He had top grades and had some special certificates in some subjects like foreign languages, he was also more informed in the world of politics and economy than any other teenager. But all of this was balanced by the fact that Kokichi was more ignorant about what people his age were doing than any other person. Growing up he had learned how to detach himself from Kaito, especially after his father involved him more in his life.

Kokichi had started to spend some afternoons with him in his factory of electronic components. His father obviously was working in the offices, not in the middle of the machines, but he showed him around, teaching him many things. Kokichi learned that this had been a textile factory previously, his grandfather had started it when he was young because his father had left him a nice sum of money to invest in something when he died. With the progression of the society and the passing of the years, Kokichi’s father inherited it and transformed it in something that would become much more profitable. He had been right, despite his father’s protests at first. Kokichi had met him and his wife, they were nice but father and son were not close to each other, and so Kokichi didn’t have much opportunities to meet the old man. His grandfather admitted that his son had been right, after some years, but he never really mended the relationship, not even after the death of his son’s wife. They weren’t in bad terms, but certainly not in good terms either.

Kokichi’s father had repeated him multiple times to not worry too much about inherit the factory, or the factories to be more precise, since he had bought other already functioning structures to conglomerate in his own group. He had said that he wouldn’t mind find some other young person with a burning passion for business to take his place after he decided to retire, and to search for what he really cared about instead. It was true that the factory had been started by the grandfather, but it was his father that was really a workaholic fanatic, he was the one to love this place the most. For this reason he couldn’t accept Kokichi inherit it on a whim, if he didn’t love this world he could go and find something else to do, he had the money to afford some potentially useless adventures. That being said, he wasn’t opposed at all in Kokichi visiting and learning, while their relationship was still a little impersonal it was very evident that he was happy to show him his ‘empire’. Kokichi wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, so his father’s attitude was a blessing. On one side, stay here looked very promising, but on the other side he could not forget his ‘superpower’, maybe this was a huge waste of time, maybe he would jump away before adulthood.

In this climate of uncertainly Kokichi kept all his doors open, until he could.

But things started to change when Kokichi had to do something that his butler called ‘entrance in the real society’. In other words starting to attend social events by the side of his father.

Kokichi had been sheltered by the press for a long time, because he was still very young and his picture could not be published on the papers and magazines without his father’s permission. At least not without the mask of pixels covering his face. But right now it was different, he was fast approaching the age where his activities could be of interest to the population, just like his father’s. Kokichi had searched, in secret on the internet, for the articles about his father’s life and while there wasn’t much in term of scandals, for sure they liked to speculate about possible flirts or new marriages. His mother’s death had been in the news, it happened when Kokichi was five, and after two years the silence had stopped and everyone was gossiping about the ‘golden bachelor’. Kokichi really didn’t want to know anything about his father’s possible affairs, but the problem was that Kokichi was pretty much in the same boat. In some years his potential relationships would be all over the gossip magazines.

Knowing that there was no possible way out of it, not unless he would emigrate in the Sahara desert, his butler and father wanted to help him get used to it, hence the social hangings with the other people involved in this kind of businesses. Of course he wouldn’t bring Kokichi to the meetings with adults only, but it was not unusual that the sons were present in some of them. Kokichi was just lucky he had been allowed to skip them until that day. Some of them were in this kind of social marsh since they were little.

It was in the second social gathering that Kokichi met _him._


	12. -123rd Playthrough

The first time Kokichi participated was in a relaxed barbeque organized by a banker in his tenth anniversary of his wedding.

That time everything went fine easily. There was no one very close to Kokichi’s age, everyone else was either almost an adult or a very little kid, the sons of the host of the party and some of their childhood friends. He remained with them all the afternoon because the older ones were too intimidating for him, not to mention they gave him a stare down the first time they saw him.

Kokichi was aware he was not socially adapt, he was unable to make connections even at school with normal guys, let alone with older snob rich dudes and girls, so kids looked way more safe. He acted as a babysitter, helping them eat and playing with them. Kokichi wasn’t good with children either, they tired him out completely, but at least they were looking at him like a comrade, not someone to humiliate.

After the first time Kokichi became painfully aware that next time it wouldn’t be so easy. It was absolutely impossible for him to hide forever with young kids, growing up he would look pitiful and like a weirdo, which was definitely not the objective his father had in mind for him when he decided to start bring him along. But Kokichi was at a loss, how could he practice? He didn’t even want to, should he start random conversations with people at school? The thought was making his toes curling.

The second event happened two months later, a long time, but for Kokichi it felt like time flew in a fast forward. In a minute it was already the eighteenth birthday party of one of his father’s commercial partner’s daughters. He thought he had time to get used to it and be more confident but no, it felt like an instant and he still felt like hide in a closet instead of interacting.

This time the event was inside a fancy ballroom, everyone was dressed up nicely. Kokichi was happy to be a male, girls in the room were all overly dressed up and every single one of them were gossiping about the others’ dresses behind their back. He saw three girls badmouth someone only to badmouth the people she had just talked to with the people they had just finished badmouthing. Of course they were badmouthing guys too, but Kokichi had already decided he was done with girls, so he didn’t took too much offence in it. He wasn’t sure if the guys were doing something similar, maybe, but they weren’t as noticeable so they were slightly better. Or maybe they weren’t talking about this kind of things with him present, while the girls were considering him invisible and inconsequential enough to be heard by him? It was another possibility.

Kokichi didn’t really know what to do with himself. He followed his father around for the first half hour, especially since they had to introduce him to everyone, but then it started to feel wrong, awkward. If he was supposed to show some kind of nerve, some kind of spine, than stay with daddy all night would not do the trick. A part of him didn’t want to submit to this idiocy, the childish part perhaps, but the rational part reminded him that if he really wanted to try and stay here then it was better to play safe.

Staying with the girl that was celebrating her birthday was not a great idea, everyone around her was someone she was close to. They were either friends from school or other people she already met at these parties, and again, she was four years older than him. So what he did was scan the room for two type of people: a small group that looked friendly or a single guy possibly looking as lost as he was feeling. The second option would not get him very popular but then again that had never been his objective from the start, the first option was maybe preferable but of difficult application. There wasn’t a sign pointing to a group that would be chiller compared to others.

He searched with his eyes across the room for someone and he only found two groups of people, beside the big one with the girl. He was studying each one of them to decide with one to try when someone from behind placed a hand on his shoulder. In time, Kokichi would learn that this guy’s name was Shinguji Korekiyo. He invited Kokichi to join a conversation with him and some of his friends, for some reason, and Kokichi felt bad rejecting his invitation, and he was searching for someone to speak to, so he guessed it was just perfect.

The group that he joined was with people his age or a little older, but there wasn’t another age range in the room so he wasn’t particularly surprised. They had taken a corner of the room for themselves, a small table in the middle with appetizers and drinks, and they were sitting in chairs all around it. He had already been introduced to these people so past the first awkwardness no one paid him much attention, and Kokichi focused on the topic, feeling a little more calm.

The topic was not something Kokichi knew personally, but it was interesting and easy to understand so he listened attentively. They were discussing about a presumed leak into the digital security system of a big group of economy and bitcoin trading. These big numbers, if translated into money, were pretty scary and Kokichi could never imagine himself playing with something so big. He knew that his father had some investments somewhere, he knew he had some bitcoin too, but as long as he was taking care of them it was like they didn’t exist for Kokichi. If his father was to lose some of them because of this assumed hole in security Kokichi would be sorry for him but nothing more. Instead one of this guy was actually discussing this with intensity, like it was vital. It probably was, but Kokichi could not relate, at least not yet.

Listening to him talking he understood that he was studying this particular branch of economy, and he himself was already moving stocks in the market. The others were not on his same level, especially of passion, but they were quickly being enveloped in his words. Kokichi himself was increasingly impressed with him, by how many things he knew, and by the connections he was able to make. Kokichi knew, in bits and pieces, about how much power these groups he was mentioning had, so his descriptions of how the flux of money were changing made some sense. What he specifically was trying to point out was that lately, because of the leaks he was insisting on, the markets were moving toward China, abandoning Japan and North America. He said that a specific section of the investments were dropping down much faster than any expert had expected. Some of the groups he mentioned had reached the bankrupt point fairly recently, Kokichi knew that much.

What hit Kokichi the most, at the end of all his speech, was that the guy said that Kokichi’s father’s investments were in a zone that was adjacent to the one in danger right now. His father’s and those of two other guys sitting at the table. The guy completed his harangue by saying they should move their investments someplace else. The others took control of the discussion and they moved the topic to the best investments that had recently popped up. Kokichi had yet to say anything on the topic, but at this point he forgot he should, he was too focused on the possibility that the guy was right. Should he say anything to his father? He was feeling embarrassed just thinking about it, his father surely knew way better than any kid in this party. Yet… it wouldn’t be a bad thing for Kokichi to maybe worry about him a little more. His father had told him to not worry, that he would leave him enough money to spend for a whole life even after his death, but Kokichi was not satisfied at this prospect. First, there was no way to tell if he was going to live this long, as bad as it sounded, and second he shouldn’t rely on him completely, he should at least try to know how he made all that money.

At the end of his long thinking the others were on their feet and the group kind of broke, as some of them moved to talk with someone else on the other side of the ballroom. Kokichi found his father with his eyes and thought about waiting for him to be alone before approaching him but he got grabbed and dragged away by a guy that was in the group before.

In time, he would learn to know him very well.

“Hey, you didn’t believe what that guy said, right? You seems stupid so please, let me give you a lifesaver lesson for this kind of things: _never,_ NEVER, take marketing advice from someone that’s not directly dependant of you to survive. Anyone else will always have an ulterior motive. That guy is not saying any of that because of the good in his heart. I know that it’s not you that have the stocks in your hand, and I doubt you’ll ever be able to sway your father… but just in case. Your father has people working for him, if you want to learn about marketing ask them.”

Kokichi snatched his hand back.

“If no one is saying things for the good in their heart… then why are you talking to me?” Kokichi was honestly more suspicious of him than of anything said before.

“Because my father and your father are partnered in some investments, and if his business suffers, our does too, and that’s a pain. Your father is an intelligent man, I don’t know you but your face is stupid enough to let me believe you don’t know the first thing about this world. I really hope you’ll never inherit your father business.”

The guy was so abrasive and arrogant that Kokichi immediately felt antipathy toward him. Indeed, he didn’t know him, so what made him believe that he could judge his face as stupid? What kind of judgment was that, even?

“Don’t worry, I don’t think I will.” he answered honestly because there was no demerit in doing so, if anything it was a good idea to spread this rumor. At least he would be less likely to become a target. “Father said he will chose someone he think it’s worthy when he decides to retire.”

“Good.” the guy nodded, satisfied. “Then just be sure to stay out of trouble and don’t bother people who are playing the game for real.”

It would take Kokichi some more months to really understand what ‘playing the game’ meant, but for now the guy left Kokichi alone and returned to his businesses somewhere else. After that experience Kokichi was tired and he returned to his father, he guessed he had done enough for the day, and even if he hadn’t he really wouldn’t care right now. When his father finished his own discussion and paid some attention to Kokichi again the first thing he did was asking who that guy had been. His father easily recognized him and confirmed the fact that his father was an ally of his in some investment.

His name was Saihara Shuichi.

Saihara Shuichi was a jerk, one like Kokichi had never met before, and so he occupied his mind for some days after the event. In particular while he was doing his usual things he was talking to himself. “See, I got an A in biology today, if I was stupid I wouldn’t have gotten an A, would I?” He wasted way too much breath with statements like this one, and they weren’t giving him as much satisfaction as he would have liked, but he forgave himself. There wasn’t any particular reason why he was feeling like he had to prove he was not an idiot, since clearly he was not trying to impress him or anything, but he was doing it anyway.

The next time Kokichi went with his father, he both wanted to meet him again and definitely didn’t want to meet him. One part of him wanted to prove him wrong, just because, and was daydreaming about him being very smooth and intelligent sounding with him, while the more realistic part of him told him that he was going to make a terrible impression for himself all over again. It wasn’t like he had improved even a little in social skill.

The guy was not there, and the immediate relief was soon replaced by a slight irritation, Kokichi felt like Saihara Shuichi had somehow decided to refuse to meet him, or something stupid like that. He mentally scolded himself for being exactly what the guy had said, an idiot, but he didn’t have much time to think. Once again without any input coming from him he got involved in another conversation. This particular event was a gathering of many sponsors, so they could create new contracts. The children got separated from the adults immediately, the latters trapped themselves into some rooms of the mansion that was hosting them, while the kids took the gardens for themselves.

Outside it was unclear where the propriety started and ended, they weren’t in Tokyo anymore, all around were green hills and fields. Kokichi’s best guess was that the end of the propriety was where the roads were running through, but if it was true then the garden was absurdly big. Aside from the patio and a large gazebo with the usual assortments of drinks and appetizers for the children to enjoy, there was a fancy pool and a greenhouse on the opposite side of the building.

The person that involved in the conversation, this time, was a girl. Kokichi had swore he would not waste his time with a girl ever again, but at the same time he couldn’t run way from her like a kid, he was growing up and he needed to prove he was mature and refined. He tried, real hard, to move the conversation the girl was forcing upon him to a group, so he could find a way out, but the girl was much more skilled than him in pilot the discussion in the way she wanted. Kokichi didn’t know what the girl wanted, but it was worrisome, because Kokichi felt it too close to flirting. Especially when she proposed to see the flowers in the greenhouse alone with him. Kokichi went with her, but kept all his senses to high alert and tried to give her as much of a cold shoulder as he could, to make sure she couldn’t misinterpret his presence with her. Considering how intelligent the girl clearly was she got the message quite well, but nothing came out of it, she didn’t give any indication of giving up. Kokichi didn’t waste a single brain cell thinking that the girl was attracted to him because that obviously wasn’t the case, but at the same time he couldn’t understand what she could get from it either.

In the future Kokichi would learn to be wary of any sister of Korekiyo Shinguji.

The girl, without any reason at all, took her ‘interest’ beyond what was healthy and normal. Two days after, his father, in the afternoon when they were together in the factory, told him that this girl had asked of him, if she could meet him again. His father informed him of this request with a joking tone, like he found it funny that his son was already having flirts with girls, but Kokichi wasn’t amused in the least. He told him to ignore her, and his father shrugged, not interested in his business more than to joke about it for a minute.

He met the girl _and_ Saihara Shuichi in a charity dinner event two weeks later.

 His only source of relief was that the both of them were sitting away from him, so he didn’t have anything to do with either for the two hours they spent eating. The worst part of the event was after the end of the dinner, when all of them had to passed through a flock of journalists and give some thoughts about the charity event and the society that organized it, and the course in general. Of course Kokichi had memorized what to say earlier, using his butler as his audience to practice, but saying it in front of many people with their flash on their cameras on was a little different. Kokichi appeared next to his father and his own line was as short as possible, because his father didn’t want him to attract attention. Until that day, even after he had made his ‘official entrance in society’, no one had really noticed him or searched for him outside of these events, not even at school. Yes, a couple of them had asked him some comments about the dinner party of that one girl some time ago, and they said they were jealous of it, but it had been such a shallow conversation Kokichi barely even memorized it. Kokichi and his father both wanted to preserve the situation as it was for as long as possible, and for that reason Kokichi was being kept as far from the cameras as possible.

After the end of this part of the event it wasn’t programmed that they would remain in the conference room, they were supposed to return home, but his father started talking business like always, workaholic as he was, and Kokichi didn’t have any other choice but to wait. That wait encouraged that girl from before to approach him and drag him away. Kokichi was about to refuse her, but his father turned his head, attracted by the noise, and seeing the girl he nodded at Kokichi like he had understood everything.

“You can go and talk to your friends for a while, I’ll call you when it’s time to go.”

Kokichi lost his cue to speak and the girl dragged him by the arm. Kokichi was irritated and very close to his patience limit when the girl smiled at him sweetly. He opened his mouth, not sure what would came out of it himself, when another voice cut him off. 

“We see each other again.” it was him, Saihara Shuichi.

Kokichi wasn’t completely sure he liked this interruption, he didn’t seem to be the type to save him from an irritating situation. He could have seen the previous advice he gave him, but this time there was nothing to gain from stopping them.

“Good evening Mr. Saihara, it’s uncommon to see you around.” the girl seemed to think the same thing.

“I and Mr. Ouma are acquaintances already, so I thought I should say hi, since I didn’t have this opportunity during the dinner.” definitely not what was really going on, but Saihara’s smile looked sincere enough, it seemed to convince the girl, but not Kokichi. “But I wasn’t aware you two were close.”

‘We are not’, Kokichi wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut. It was too difficult to tell what was the guy’s objective here, he didn’t want to help him if he was trying something disadvantageous for Kokichi.

“We are not that close yet,” the girl smiled with fake modesty, “we are just knowing each other better, we are all on the same boat, aren’t we? May as well get along!”

“Searching for a potential husband so soon in the game? The girls in the Shinguji family sure love to move quickly, you older sister married before her twenties, didn’t she?” Saihara’s voice and smile had not changed in the slightest and they didn’t match anything he was saying anymore.

Kokichi peered the girl’s face expectantly but she didn’t seem affected in the least.

“Please, don’t reduce everything to the bone like this, sister married the guy she loves and there is nothing bad with that, and I’m not searching for an husband per se, I have faith that I can get anything I want even without someone else’s help. I don’t need someone so badly. I think you are mixing the world of the common people with ours a little too much. You are worried about the statistics, they say that our marriages tend to be much shorter compared to normal people, and our percentage of divorces is much higher. You want to see something malicious in that, and I understand, frauds are scary, but I think you are coming from the wrong angle. We have lives full of new stimuli every day, we are not like normal people that are content with what they get and rarely try to change their routine. It’s just fair that our span of attention is much shorter compared to them, isn’t it? We rarely commit to real long term relationships but it doesn’t mean they are fake, we live more on the present, there is nothing wrong with that.” the girl was saying some pretty incredulous things like it was nothing, which left Kokichi a little spooked. “You are going to have a sad life if you are so suspicious of everything. You already know we have to do with what we have, it’s the number one rule. You aren’t waiting for the ‘one true love’, are you?” the tone became only slightly of mockery in the end.

“Oh don’t worry, I can fend for myself perfectly fine, thank you.” Saihara sent a glance to Kokichi that obviously meant ‘You on the other hand…’.

Kokichi wasn’t sure who he was hating the most right now.

“Hm, I see that the two of you have some unfinished business with each other, and while I think it would be fun to assist, my brother need me, so I’ll go.” she gestured to Korekiyo, that was observing them from afar. “Have a nice evening.”

As soon as the girl was outside of hearing range Kokichi spoke.

“Just so you know, I’m not interested in that girl in the—“ but Saihara straight out ignored him.

“You have no idea in what kind of trouble you are putting yourself into, have you?” Kokichi, his wind knocked out of his sail, remained silent. “I thought you, of all people, would know who to stay away from, but I guess not. I’m kind of disgusted, honestly.”

“Hey! I told you I’m not interested! How dare you, what’s in it for you? What the hell do you want from me? You said you don’t care, yet you keep bothering me—HEY!” the guy walked away without a word, completely disregarding Kokichi and his protests. “You stupid jerk, don’t talk to me again!”

“Whatever.” he said at the very end, before turning a corner and disappear.

Kokichi growled in frustration and waved his fist a couple times, he wanted to be even more dramatic but right now there were too many witnesses. He hadn’t waste this many days and evenings on his social image just to destroy it because of fucking Saihara Shuichi.


	13. -123rd Playthrough

Kokichi’s annoyance faded a little over time, but never too much.

In the following months Kokichi met him a bunch of times, in many different occasions, but the two never interacted directly again. Actually, to be fair, Kokichi tried to get his attention childishly by staring daggers at him every once in a while, but Saihara ignored him completely, like he wasn’t even there. Kokichi would have never admitted it, but he was a little disappointed after the third time.

The Shinguji girl, instead, was giving him even too much attention. Kokichi, really annoyed by this point, tried to give her as many hints as he could think of, but the girl was indeed crafty, rejecting everything he was saying by skillfully brushing it off. If he wasn’t aware before that she had a hidden intentions in her actions, now he was for sure certain. The problem was, and he hated to admit it, that he wasn’t Saihara Shuichi, he didn’t know how to get away from her effectively. He had asked his father for advice, because he wasn’t a masochist, thinking that he could deal with her all by himself, not after failing for three times in a row. His father, ever the realist, told him that he couldn’t avoid her forever, no matter what, because in this world it didn’t work that way. A commoner could maybe change school, or even city, in his case even if he transferred on the other side of the country that wouldn’t prevent him from join the high level society. Private jets were a thing. For the first time ever Kokichi felt a little bit of resentment toward his father. Unjustified, but still.

To help his case, at the very least, he asked him if he was feeling in danger, in that case he could hire him a bodyguard. The interest of the girl, however, was something Kokichi had to fight by himself. Kokichi refused the bodyguard.

The worst decision of his life, up until that point, that would somehow lead to the best thing ever.

For once in his life, or at the very least in this universe, Kokichi wished he had asked Kaito to hang out with him. After school Kokichi often would decided what to do on the fly, so it wasn’t common practice for his butler to wait for him every day.  Kokichi would decide after school and send him a text at the last moment, so often he was waiting at the gates alone, after many others had already gone to do their businesses. That day Kokichi stopped by the library of the school, to search for material for a paper he had to write. He could buy the books, as many people at school had pointed out, since he was rich, but he wasn't. This was one of the reasons why he was grateful to his father, because even if he was well off, thanks to the strange pay system they had set up Kokichi had to learn how to manage them and still keep his feet on the ground like everyone else. For this reason Kokichi wasn’t buying books, he was visiting the library like everyone else, and he knew that people were perplexed. But Kokichi had never invited anyone at his house, since he didn’t particularly like any of them, so they were considering him a useless weirdo anyway. Not even good to have him pay in their place for something or borrow cool things from.

He searched for a reference book, but he didn’t find one of his liking. Because of this coincidence, even though he sent his butler a text telling him not to come immediately after school, he ended up waiting by the gates way earlier than expected. He sent another text to him, but he was aware that he wouldn’t appear for at least another fifteen minutes. Kokichi got bored in less than five minutes, and left the gates to get himself an ice cream. Another bad decision, because the gates were still an area in clear view, while the smaller streets all around were much more busy, but difficult to keep track of.

The people who took him were clearly professionals. Kokichi himself needed a moment to understand what was happening to him, by then he was already dangling from a man’s back like a bag of potatoes. In the second he needed to open his mouth he got shoved into something dark. Since he was turned the other way he didn’t even see what it was. With his open mouth and a dead scream on the tip of his tongue, he felt his body being shook in every direction. As far as he could tell, he was inside of something like a box which was inside a vehicle in movement. He tried to gain some kind of balance but gave up after getting hurt three times, he just lied down in shock. A part of his brain  told him to scream and call for help, but the other part was too dumbfounded to do anything, and that part prevailed. He had been eating ice cream, how did it come down to this?

For the first time he became painfully aware that he was _rich._

On a logical level he had known for a while now, but being born as an orphan child without anything at all he never really _understood._ In the depths of his heart and mind he was still that helpless child being beat up by these bullies, back in elementary school. The same persona that watched as Kaito’s back was becoming smaller and smaller, until he turned a corner of the street and disappeared from his sight, abandoning him. He had thought he had grown up, but he had been wrong. He felt tears of humiliation in his eyes.

His mind at that moment went back to Saihara Shuichi and what he said to him. He was right, Kokichi shouldn’t be here, he wasn’t prepared for the consequences of this life. Yet Kokichi didn’t jump. He didn’t care about being rich, he didn’t care about his modern but sophisticated home, or his mountain of videogames. He just wanted his father to come and save him.

The ride ended sometime after, Kokichi would never be able to tell how much later, and the box was moved around some more. He recognized the movements as steps, until he got dropped on the floor. He could have screamed then, but he was pretty certain they wouldn’t have brought him to a place where someone could hear him. Not if they were at least a little smart. When his box was open Kokichi’s heart leaped backward in his chest and shrunk. He hadn’t even seen anything of the outside, but his mind worked at light speed, conjuring one after the other images of what could be waiting for him out there, all very horrifying. If a moment sooner he wanted out of the box now he wanted in. He was ready to bargain an extended staying inside the box in exchange of being left alone.

The outside wasn’t that different from the inside, in term of illumination, it was still pretty dark. It was a room, but if there were any windows they were closed shut because not a single ray of sun was leaking. The only source of light came from the slightly open door, there was a light in the space beyond. In the room, together with him, were at least two men, he could barely see their silhouettes and feel their presence in his close vicinity. He tried desperately, aware of how useless it was, to run away, he tried to sprint for the door. He didn’t even get to stand properly before a hand caught him by the neck and forced him down on the floor again. He had known they wouldn’t let him go, but at the same time this had been his only option. Another hand grabbed him by the right ankles to drag him a little further away from the door, then that hand got replaced by something cold. Chains. The hand on his neck released some of the pressure, a little at the time, until it left completely, and the man took a step away from him. Kokichi remained still for a long moment, so long that he counted seven beats of his heart in his ears, then he tried to get on his feet again, in a clumsy but fast movement. The two had already left his side but they were still quite close, one of them, seeing him move, kicked Kokichi’s not chained leg, making him lose his poor balance and fall back.

“Don’t get so agitated, just stay there like a good kid. You are not going anywhere.” he said, then they both left and closed the door behind themselves.

When Kokichi heard the key turn in the keyhole of the door, leaving him in complete darkness he had a premonition. He really wasn’t going anywhere for a long while.

The next three days for Kokichi were now a blur of emotions. If he had to trace back all he thought in that time he wouldn’t be able to. He remembered debating between himself if he should leave this universe and move on, while another part of him was worried for the body left behind, and there was something about his father somewhere in there as well. He remembered the hunger, no one came to bring him food. After the first 32 hours someone brought him water but didn’t answer any of Kokichi’s questions. He wanted to know what they wanted from him, it seemed that he was kidnapped from ransom, but if that was the case then why not give him food? It was almost like his kidnappers didn’t care if he died. Like they never indented to give him back no matter what.

Kokichi did all he could to keep himself optimistic, if they were giving him water then surely he was mistaken. They would have killed him on the spot, if they really wanted him dead. And, indeed, the plan wasn’t as simple as wanting him dead. When his mind had lost the majority of his coherent thinking due to hid weakness, Korekiyo Shinguji appeared for the first time. He dragged a chair into the room and switched the light on. After three days of almost complete darkness Kokichi felt like knives had been thrust in his eyes. He shut them tight and hid his face behind both his arms. Korekiyo started to interrogate him, surely trying to use Kokichi’s lack of self-awareness as a weapon, and Kokichi even today could not recall what he answered. He just knew it wasn’t what the  guy wanted to hear. He left, after giving him two pieces of bread. He returned two days later, and Kokichi was basically dead by this point. He interrogated him again, Kokichi didn’t remember answering, but maybe he did, because his prize this time was bread, fruits, milk and a bit of dried meat. The next day Kokichi was almost completely aware of the situation again, and of the fact that by this point his only way out was to jump. This torture was going to be dragged down for who knew how much, and since Kokichi didn’t really know anything he would get killed, in the end. He tried to jump multiple times in the next minutes, but he failed. He wanted to blame some supernatural meddling with his power, but he knew that he was filing on purpose, because he wasn’t serious about it. He didn’t know why, he just had a feeling he should wait a little longer.

The steps above his head told him that he was righting waiting, something was happening upstairs.

Kokichi had played some games where the protagonist had been kidnapped, most of them closed the kidnapping phase with the prisoner finding a smart way to escape. If Kokichi was the protagonist of his story then the games had lied, because during a real kidnapping there wasn’t a miraculous pin that could open locks, a providential opening in surveillance, or a merciful beautiful girl bringing him food to seduce. Real kidnapping stunk of sweat, of unwashed body and of the businesses he had to do in the corner right next to him. He had done nothing, except wait to be rescued.

It wasn’t his father that showed up, it was Saihara Shuichi. Or more precisely his goons. They broke the chains, it seemed they hadn’t found the key, and one of them threw him on the shoulder, much like when he was kidnapped. This time Kokichi didn’t think of fight or even broke a sweat, worst than this it couldn’t get. His mind was almost empty, anything was cool with him right now, as long as he could go back home. In a little corner of his mind he found the ability to praise himself for his aloofness, even as he was being carried like a dead weight by a man four times his size. Had he just achieve one of the secret dreams of mankind, the ability to not feel embarrassed?

His silly absurd pride got obliterated in an instant after he got stuffed into the backseat of a car, right next to a perfectly groomed Saihara, and he realized he was feeling ashamed of himself oh so very much. He hurried to sat up and recomposed, staying as far away as possible from him. For some reason he realized he cared very much about Saihara’s judgment, even if he barely acknowledged him in his car. He ordered the driver to take off instead.

 After some silence Kokichi couldn’t take it anymore, it seemed that his imprisonment had shortened the limits of his patience.

“Well, don’t you have anything to say?”

Shuichi glanced at him like he was a child or something.

“What should I say? That you stink? I think you already knew that.”

Fuck this guy!

“Then why didn’t you leave me there, no one asked you to help!” he didn’t care if what he was saying was completely against his best interests. “Where is my father?” he added after a moment, more calmly.

“Searching for you somewhere else. I was faster. I had more means than him, for once, I had a good hunch of where to search.” Saihara seemed unperturbed by Kokichi’s bad temperament.

Kokichi remembered, in his imprisonment he had thought about it a thousand times.

“You knew that the Shinguji’s family was onto something.”

“Yes, again.”

“Again?” Kokichi was getting annoyed that he had to drag every word out of his mouth.

“Who do you think killed your mother?” he said, bluntly as if he was talking about the weather. Kokichi didn’t answer, there wasn’t a correct answer, he simply didn’t know. “Your father has decided to believe that it was an accident and stopped looking into it, but my family in time got some rumors and now I’m positive they were true. They didn’t got what they wanted from her so now they tried you. Your father is too big a target for them. They saw that you made your entrance in society, so they decided to use you before you got too famous. They don’t know how big you’ll make it, in time. I know you won’t get far, but they don’t.”

Nice as usual, but more importantly…

“Was my mother kidnapped like this? I thought she died in a car accident…”

“Yeah, I mean, no. She wasn’t kidnapped, they didn’t make it in time. She tried to escape the attempt with her car and she died. They made her fall out of the road during a steep turn. It looked like she lost control of the car, and that’s why it was called an accident.”

“Why are they doing this? What do they want from my father? Is it really only about money?”

“No, that’s not it. If they wanted money they could fraud someone into it, they wouldn’t have waited years to kidnap the son after killing the mother. They want something that your father is making, the project for a new release he has in program for a couple years in the future. Your father presented the teaser for the idea last year, before you showed your face around, and so all the events converged in a bad way for you. They would have done something anyway, but they rushed it up.”

“They killed my mother for something like that?” Kokichi asked, dumbfounded. “So many years ago?”

“Your father’s new software works on a different operative system than the ones we have so far, which basically means that all virus and malwares aren’t going to affect it, as long as the software itself won’t get cracked by a professional. If his development succeed the market will split, and for a while it will be a strong competitor to the current products. They want the projects to start cracking at them before release day, to pop the bubble of market that’s interested. When they did what they did to your mother he had just started working on it, they wanted him to stop. Your father, after your mother’s death, continued his project but they were discouraged in trying to attack him again. You were little and security around him was too tight. When your father informed the press of the future release they suddenly felt like they had run out of time and acted. As long as they can find a hole before release they will be happy. The launch will be very anticlimactic if the product will have holes even before it’s bought.”

“And they were hoping to get the projects from me? They interrogated me, they weren’t just keeping me there.”

“Well, I don’t think they really hoped you knew anything. But your father hid the projects somewhere, they haven’t been able to find them until today, not through traditional espionage means. They started by kidnap you, which was the main plan, and then they asked you, just in case. You weren’t leaving alive anyway.”

“But I got out of there alive! You foiled their plans!” he was considering forgive him a little.

“And then what? Are you planning to report them?” Saihara asked, his tone heavily sarcastic.

“Why not?” Kokichi spat, annoyed.

“It’s your word against the Shinguji’s. You don’t have any real proof, do you?” Saihara waved a hand, like he was explaining something obvious.

“I’m _the victim_ here! Why wouldn’t they believe me!” he lost a little control of his voice volume.

“Because this is the _game._ Only the strong ones survive it. Your father has power, but you personally suck at playing, they will crush you under one finger.” Saihara sighed and rested his face in one hand, against the window.

Kokichi’s considerations about forgiving him were dying like a plant left in a closet for too long. His irritation toward the guy as fresh as ever he stared holes into him, as he was ignoring him to look outside of the window. In the end he gave up and started the conversation again himself.

“Why have you saved me? There is no gain for you, right? Even if my father is a partner of your family… the successful launch won’t give you guys more money, am I right?” his voice was accusatory, his thankfulness for having been saved never amounted to much in the first place but now it was forgotten entirely.

Saihara didn’t move or speak, Kokichi’s irritation grew every second. He was already at the point where he wanted only to start screaming and forget all about the driver and the fact that someone outside could hear. He was tired, dirty, angry, thirsty and very much nervous, and he was done trying to sound reasonable. But he didn’t get to because a second before exploding Saihara finally reacted.

“Because you annoy me. There is something very infuriating about you. I don’t know what it is, I can’t explain it myself,” he finally stopped looking outside of the window but still didn’t look his way, “but when I look at you I feel the need to have you out of my sight. Yet when you got kidnapped I just… couldn’t stand it. I was so annoyed, why can’t you protect yourself better?” then finally he looked at him, but now it was Kokichi that was not ready to stand it. “I should have let you there, I mean, I know that your father would have given in and sold his project to save you eventually, so I made the right choice, on a logical standpoint but…” he was starting to talk faster. “That’s just an excuse. I really was just annoyed to death with you. Even now, I’m trying my best to not yell at you because I really want to.”

If there was someone here that really wanted to scream was Kokichi, now more than ever.

“If you hate me this much then just bring me back, they’ll kill me and that will end your suffering!” Kokichi yelled, beyond every level of logical self-preservation instinct. “Why didn’t you just let me there in the first place?!”

Saihara made a strange gesture, in between a shrug and raising his hands in defeat.

“I don’t know!” now they were both sounding a little hysterical. “I told you, I was too annoyed! I-! You are always so stupid looking, walking around without a clue, talking to people without a clue. Everyone is already mocking you, they can’t believe you are your father’s son, and you don’t even seem all that worried about your future. From where the hell have you popped out? It was a given something like this was going to happen sooner or later, you are too easy a target! You—You keep distracting me!”

“I’ve never even actively tried to speak with you, it’s you that always come to me, what’s your problem, leave me alone!”

Saihara opened his mouth to say something else but the driver cleared his throat, in the front seat, and they both froze, aware of their surroundings again. Kokichi wasn’t really deterred, more annoyed that he had been interrupted, but Saihara quickly regained control of himself.

“What I was trying to say is that you should get away from all this. It’s not for you, something like this will happen again.” he turned toward the window again, avoiding Kokichi’s stare.

Kokichi wondered if someone else, someone that really cared about be a part of this society, would bet offended at his words. In this case it was one of the rare moments when he was agreeing with him instead. He took a deep breath, still disgusted by him but aware that he was not his enemy, just someone very annoying.

“What, are you worried about me?” he said, to mock him.

He was expecting him to ignore him or mock him in return but Saihara turned toward him again in a flash before answering.

“No, of course not! Worry is a feeling you have for someone you care about! I don’t care about you, I dislike you a lot!”

Kokichi blinked two times. This was the most childish answer Saihara had ever given him.

“…Why are you answering my question seriously?”

Saihara didn’t answer immediately, he blinked as well.

“Oh, was that a rhetorical question or a sarcastic one? I didn’t think you were intelligent enough to know how to do those.” he said in the end, but his tone was less convincing and irritating than usual, there wasn’t the usual passion behind his words.

“Huh-huh, if you say so.” they stared at each other with narrowed eyes for a moment. “But you are right about one thing: this is not my life, I don’t belong here. I’m tired of this place already. I’m leaving.” he was obviously talking about his ability to jump away, not that Saihara would be able to understand it. “Congratulation, I won’t annoy you any longer.”

The last remark was supposed to irritate him, but instead Saihara nodded, like he was satisfied.

“Good. It will be a pleasure to not have you there distracting me any longer. I have better things to do. You are not suited for this life, you don’t have the right drive.”

Kokichi rolled his eyes.

“And you are? Aren’t you a very arrogant one?”

Again, it was supposed to be an insult, but… Saihara smiled.

“It’s okay. I know how to do this.” Kokichi gave him a doubtful glance and Saihara’s smile widened. “I’ll be fine. I’m a life cheater.”


	14. 4th Playthrough

Kokichi started at Shuichi, at his short and thin back.

Physically speaking he hadn’t change that much from their first meeting, over a hundred universes back. He had grown, obviously, but his face, his physique and his way of using his voice was still almost the same. His circumstances had changed, along with Kokichi’s, and so his life, goals, priorities, interests and behavior had changed slightly with it. Every time he was witnessing to a different Shuichi, but at heart he was always the same guy he first met back there.

That day Kokichi didn’t jump immediately, he let himself been carried home and he hugged his father one last time. Kokichi had never seen the man more emotional than that night, and so he engraved that vision in his mind forever. Even today, if asked who is father was, Kokichi’s first instinct was to remember that man. Of course Kokichi knew it was more correct in his case to consider himself an orphan, first and foremost, and then, if he was in a good mood, he could remember all the people that adopted him along the way, for the better and the worst. Kokichi knew it… yet he had never been able to forget that man.

Maybe because it was the last time he allowed himself to get attached to a parental figure.

Sometimes, in his lowest moments, he would think back at this one universe and wish that had been his one and only. He wished to have been born there and that he had never been gifted this power.

But then he would remember that he left of his own volition, and then it couldn’t have been his ‘promised land’, clearly. He himself recognized that he couldn’t have lived there. He would have liked to transport his father away with him as well though. Or maybe not… he was a man of passion, he would still try to run a multibillion company everywhere they went.

Who he wasn’t expecting to miss was Saihara. When he left him behind for the first time his opinion of him was not great, but a little more gray then he expected, he thought that if he met him again it wouldn’t be too bad, there were worst people he could meet, like that Korekiyo Shinguji and his sister. In the following universe he met Rantaro, and at first he thought no one he knew was there, but he noticed him, Saihara, in the literature club. He didn’t speak with him and Saihara didn’t approach him either. Kokichi didn’t give much importance to his presence. Then he jumped again, and he met him again. The third time they were in the same class, so he noticed him immediately, but still he didn’t approach him. He met other people, like Kiibo who was their shared friend. But even if he didn’t speak to him, he couldn’t help but keeping an eye on him, to see who he was in this different universe. He wanted to understand how much people were changing from a place to another.

Looking at him from afar, Saihara looked like one guy in a sea of dudes, normal and boring. It took him several weeks before something interesting came up, and it was the fact that Saihara himself approached him again. As he was observing him from afar Kokichi had convinced himself that this Saihara was very different from the last one, he was really friendly, modest, silent and often borderline shy. He had nothing to share with the direct, irritating and arrogant guy he met before. When his expectations of a different, more boring Saihara, collided hard against reality he didn’t know what to feel. Saihara aggressively, much like last time, approached him in secret and asked him to stop observing him, because he was getting on his nerves. Not only he had noticed him, but his first instinct was to attack him, not to ask for an explanation. Maybe Kokichi was stupid, but if he noticed a cute, yes he liked to call himself cute, guy staring at him, the first thing he would think was that maybe… maybe he fancied him? Probably these were the hormones talking, yes, but still. No one would expect someone so friendly and pacific to attack someone based on some staring.

The doubt, like a worm eating only the white inside of an apple, started to swirl in his mind.

What was the real extent of the similarities between this Saihara and the other Saihara? What about everyone else?

He had met Kaito, and he had seen some similarities with his old ‘friend’, but truthfully they were both children the first time they met, it was too difficult to say if it was the same person, only grown up, or a different one. Kokichi wasn’t scared by Saihara, he was starting to lose the ability to feel scared by people, so instead of stopping he doubled his efforts. He wanted to know the real Saihara Shuichi. In reality, his efforts ended up being spread through many universes, one after the other he kept meeting a ‘version’ of Saihara. His shock, in realizing that he was the only person he was meeting every single time, was great, but greater was his surprised when he started to recognize a pattern in his behavior.

Saihara was acting all sweet and gentle with most people, always smiling or hiding behind a cover of shyness, but in actuality he was sharp and easily annoyed. He was always moving in the background, finding a way to spend more time with some people, less time with others. He looked nice and clueless, but actually he was moving the strings from behind, changing the dynamics of the group as he saw fit. One thing Kokichi noticed was that in time he was always able to form a group of friends that would do anything for him, and that thought that his smile was all the payment they needed. It was almost like Saihara was always forming a small army, ready to protect him or to use, to gain something.

Kokichi’s fascination for him grew and grew, every day a little more.

He started to actively nudge at Saihara, to get different reactions out of him. He started to jump on a whim as well, just to see different sides of him. He jumped more than thirty universes and no matter where he went Saihara was always the same. Even if Kokichi tried to badmouth him, if he tried to make him make a mistake in front of everyone, if he tried to sugarcoat him to death… no matter what, Saihara’s reactions to him never changed. It was almost like he could instinctively feel that Kokichi was his nemesis. The numbers on his back were decreasing steadily, some days more than some others, and at the same time the number of jumps kept growing and growing.

At some point he stopped caring. At some point he started to think of this like a big game. At some point he remembered the word Saihara had said to him, about being a life cheater. At some point he started to use that description for himself, it wasn’t like Saihara would accuse him of stealing the paternity of it. At some point, Saihara became Shuichi.

In time, Kokichi’s life was reduced to this obsession alone, the only reason he was still moving forward was because he was chasing after Shuichi. Sometimes he was jumping to save his own life, or to save himself some trouble, but no matter where he ended up, he was always only chasing after him. The only certain element in his life, the only thing he never was getting tired of. Even after so many jumps, more than a hundred all dedicated to him, Shuichi was still sometimes managing to surprise him, just like last time. If he had to be precise he could say that… Shuichi was always the same, but he was learning more and developing over time? Maybe.

But this particular time, as he was staring at his back, after the thing that he said and did before the last jump, he felt like he was back to his first meeting with him. He felt like he was hating him and resenting him just like back then. Why, after all this time, after all the years he had wasted on him, Shuichi was _still the same._ True, it was a comforting thought, but a despairing one at the same time. He couldn’t rely on any of the others, they were ephemerals like the slime in a pond, he could count only on Shuichi. Then why was he developing _so slowly?_ How much more time Kokichi had to search for the perfect moment where finally Shuichi would stop glaring at him and just _look at him._ Was he really still so annoying and unsightly? Had Kokichi not gotten better at all? If Shuichi was so intelligent and able to manipulate everyone then he should be the only one to really understand Kokichi’s position.

How much longer until Shuichi would realize that they were meant for each other?

Kokichi picked up a thin sick from the ground, it was just slightly longer than his hand, and threw it at Shuichi’s stupid turned back. The stick hit him in between the shoulder blades weakly, but with enough force to make him feel the impact. Shuichi raised a hand to the spot in question and turned.

“Hey, what are you doing?!”

“I don’t know, I felt like it.” Kokichi shrugged a little, his sore muscles pretesting against the sudden movement.

“Can you be any more childish? Why don’t you leave and go bother someone else?” he almost yelled at him, but kept his voice just a tiny bit under the volume that Kokichi considered past the level of normality.

“I want to bother you instead, imagine that! I’m really in a bad mood, a terrible mood, and I want to bother you, lucky you!” sarcasm and maliciousness were fighting to become the most relevant emotion in his voice.

“What problem do you have with me? I haven’t done absolutely anything to deserve this!”

“Except that you hate me!” Kokichi didn’t care if he sounded illogical and potentially mentally unstable, he just wanted to blame him for his unhappiness.

“I barely even know you, I don’t hate you! Why do you even care? As long as I’m not bothering you, even if I hate you, what’s the problem?”  Shuichi’s expression, so full of annoyance, was so familiar that Kokichi almost wanted to punch it out of his face.

Unfortunately he couldn’t explain it to him, not without sounding mental, so he didn’t even try.

“Right, of course! Good for you if you aren’t bored yet of the world, you have it so much easier than me. You think that by setting up life exactly as you like you are going to have the peaceful life you desire forever, and you can contain any kind of problem by moving your pawns right… How many years are you planning to keep going like this? Since you have this power why don’t you use it for something more exciting? Are you really planning to spend your whole life sugarcoating people and convincing to get lost the ones you don’t like?” Shuichi was staring at him intensely, his expression paused in between surprise and denial. “Well, I’m bored! I hate this stalemate that you created, I can’t deal with this anymore. You have no idea how long a year looks like when you are me. If you really want to keep going like this then…”

Then what? The words wouldn’t come to his tongue, because he never planned the end of this speech. Then what? Shuichi didn’t react, it seemed that he was waiting for the end of his speech as well. An end that was never going to come, Kokichi’s mind was empty. Then what? Was he going to give up completely, years of waiting and… _hope?_ He had convinced himself that Shuichi was his last hope a long time ago, what would he do without?

No, he was just tired, hurt, angry, disappointed and sad. This wasn’t the right moment to decide something so important. He needed a break, then, with a fresh new mood, he could start trying again. Surely there had to be something else he could do. Otherwise what else could he do with his life? He could do everything, which by definition meant that there wasn’t any value in anything.

Should he stop searching for a meaning?

Kokichi pursed his lips seeing that Shuichi was still looking at him in silence and wait.

“Man, you can be so boring sometimes…”

He didn’t care about his task, he left the room to breathe some fresh air. All the others returned little by little, some of them raised a hand to greet him, most of them ignored him sitting at the picnic table. In this universe he was seeing so many people he had seen around and that had given him a memorable impression, either for the good or bad but mostly bad. He guessed this was another kind of constant in his life, but it wasn’t one he could count on, Shuichi was the only one really consistent. He didn’t like most of this people anyway, so it didn’t matter. He remained at the table, waiting for the moment someone was going to scold him because he left his task unfinished.

That moment never really came, at some point Shuichi left the shed and joined his teammates, not looking his direction once, and soon after the adults appeared, to give everyone the points for the day. Kokichi was expecting a zero point, or even a penalty, but that was not it. He received five points less than Shuichi, who received fifteen points, but he had still gotten his team ten points. Kokichi didn’t know how or why, and he didn’t care to investigate.

Kokichi spent the next few days almost in a haze, he avoided everyone, did what he wanted when he wanted and for as long as he wanted. He lost them some points, every once in a while, especially when he was purposefully avoiding Shuichi. At first his teammates tried to confront him about his new attitude toward the whole camping activities thing, but he refused to have a discussion with any of them. After a couple days he received an unsuspected assist from Gonta and Hoshi, who told everyone else to leave him alone, in exchange Kokichi had to try and lose as little points as possible. Kokichi agreed, because working was in a way helpful, as long as they weren’t excepting him to be competitive with the other team. He closed his brain to everyone around him, except for Gonta and Hoshi, refusing to acknowledge their presence.

Even as he was ignoring everyone and everything, he couldn’t help notice that everyone was trying to accommodate him a little bit, to make his life easier. It seemed that rumors had been going around that after he got hurt he was a little depressed. The rumors that were running around his teammates were that if they didn’t want to lose the competition they had to help him complete his task in secret. The rumors around the opposite team members were that if they wanted an easy win they should sent their most weak members after him. So while his teammates were sometimes sending him compassionate looks, his adversaries were grinning when they were seeing him coming their way to compete.

Kokichi, realized, was not good at ignoring people, he had never really been able to do it, no matter how much of in a bad mood he was. After he noticed the rumors, and then the looks, he was discovering himself unable to ignore them more and more.

His bad mood worsened.

True, he was weak right now, but they were just delusional if they thought they were even a tiny bit better than him at any given moment.

His instinct was to start and double his efforts, to win every competition and prove to them he was not weak, but in concrete he could not. Aside from his body that was still hurting, slow and useless, he found himself psychologically unable to focus for a long time. In the end they were just insects, his mind would tell him, why bother? He was aware that he was fast degenerating into a horrible person here, especially since he had taken special care to never become a person full of hate before. Not as much for the others, more for himself. No one was living a good life if their hearts were just full of rage and hate. He knew how important Shuichi was for his mental health, but he wasn’t expecting to descend down so fast without him as a stopping point. Maybe he had played with fire for too long.

Yet a part of him really just wanted to rage as much as he could, it could be liberating.

He didn’t stop himself, then, from snapping at them every once in a while, with the only exceptions being Gonta and Hoshi, who were the only ones treating him right, and Shuichi, who simply didn’t want to treat in any way at all. Soon many of the looks of pity became tinged with irritation, which were making Kokichi happy with a twisted satisfaction. But even so, no matter how much this childish retaliation was making him feel a little better he couldn’t help but remember every step on the way that this was all very worthless, and that in the end he was only hurting himself.

But what really pushed him over the edge of his patience this time, was when he discovered that the points from the first task he shared with Shuichi he had obtained because Shuichi had finished the work in his place after he left. He had gotten less points because Shuichi didn’t have enough time to do a good job like with his half of the job, so Kokichi’s stack was less perfect, with the pieces of wood not aligned correctly in many points. He discovered it casually, when he was sitting alone, hiding at the back of the main building, he heard him talk about it with Kaito. Shuichi had apparently decided to confide their whole conversation with him, including at the end an hint about him having to do his work in his place.

If Kokichi had been in his normal, obnoxious mood, he would be all giggling, happy that he was on Shuichi’s mind so much. It was unprecedented, as far as he knew, that he would talk about Kokichi with people, especially in this strange tone of voice. He sounded actually concerned, or maybe confused, and that was indeed a novelty. Yet he couldn’t see it in this light at all, all he could think of was that he was pitying him as well and that was not part of the plan. When he had confronted him in that shack he had planned to sound mean, irrational, annoying, obnoxious and maybe scary, certainly not _pathetic._

If he hated everyone else’s pity, he discovered he simply couldn’t take Shuichi’s.

Not acceptable.

So, while Shuichi was saying something or another about Kokichi being difficult to understand, he jumped out of the shadow, past the corner, and punched him right in the face.  His punch wasn’t all that strong, Kokichi’s arms were hardly a source of concern, but the hit had been unexpected enough that Shuichi fell with his ass on the ground and stared at him, placing slowly a hand on the offended area. But Kokichi’s frustrations and rage wasn’t sated just yet, so he took only a second to recover, then he was already onto the next hit. Just as his strength wasn't remarkable, his speed wasn’t all that impressive either, so Kaito was faster than him; he snapped out of shock quickly and grabbed his arms, trapping Kokichi.

“Oi! What’s the big idea here?!” he yelled in his ears but Kokichi didn’t listen.

No words would be able to express all he was feeling, because that required him to actively thinking and unraveling them personally, so he didn’t try. He gritted his teeth and tried to freed his arms. Shuichi on the ground, in the meantime, was recovering from the shock as well, his eyebrows knotted almost into a single line and he pushed himself on his feet.

“This was highly unnecessary.” he said, cold as usual.

“For you maybe! I won’t feel better unless I punch you again!” Kokichi spat.

In that moment he didn’t care if he was hurting that cute face that Kokichi had impressed in his memory so strongly. His left cheek was a little red, but nothing else was revealing the truth that had just happened. A slight change like this one wasn’t going to upset Kokichi, it didn’t look nearly as hurtful as what he was feeling in his chest in that moment.

Shuichi opened his mouth so say something but Kokichi never got to know what because the adults appeared out of nowhere it seemed. It seemed, but if he had paid more attention he would have realized that Kaito’s voice was too boisterous to remain unnoticed and he had been called for help in the last few seconds. Kokichi’s ears weren’t working properly, he could mostly hear his own heart bumping in his eardrums. He had been too focused on Shuichi’s face filled with contempt to see anything else. Their presence calmed him down a little, but Kokichi still wanted to punch him, and so Kaito was still keeping him in place. As tall and bigger as he was Kokichi had no chances, Kaito was almost raising him from the ground as if he was a little kid. He vaguely heard the adults speaking to him with an anxious tone, he couldn’t make out the words but he knew what they were saying. His struggle became less convinced, aware that he wasn’t physically strong enough to fight them all, and they weren’t going to let him connect another punch with Shuichi’s stupidly attractive face.

Before he could convey his fading intention of violence Gonta picked him up completely from both the ground and Kaito’s grip. He found himself awkwardly dangling from his shoulder, one of Gonta’s hand on his back to keep him in place. Finding suddenly his face on the back of the action he saw what was happening behind them all, which was an assemble of girls staring at him. He already didn’t like girls, he liked them less when they were looking at him like he was a dangerous, unstable, pitiful, mental little cretin. In particular he saw Kaede’s disapproving face, Toujo’s stern stare and Yumeno’s dejected eyes. The last one in particular burned into Kokichi’s mind like wildfire.

He left Gonta transport him away, the adults surely were talking about punishments and points, none of it was registering in Kokichi’s mind. None of it was his problem after all. Gonta carried him all the way back to the room he was sharing with Hoshi and let him down gently on the bed. Kokichi immediately curled up in a ball and hugged his knees to his chest. He didn’t say anything, he hoped his face was enough to convey how upset he was to the giant. Gonta was known for being dumb, but he wasn’t completely oblivious either, surely he understood the situation for himself.

“Gonta think that you should go back home, you are not happy here. Gonta think that adventure in jungle is only fun if everyone is having fun. Gonta think that you are still feeling pain from fall.”

“I don’t feel pain and mind your own business.” Kokichi answered curtly, aggressively, without really wanting to.

It was a conditioned reflex, he _was_ in pain, so he refused to admit it exactly because of that.

“Gonta will mind his business, but Gonta also worried. Gonta talks to the organizers and let them know about your injury.” he made to leave to room but Kokichi stopped him.

“Don’t do it. That will ruin everyone’s fun.” he didn’t know why he was saying this, maybe a little last spark of conscience. He rarely was thinking about what he was leaving behind after a jump, and this was strangely one of those times. Maybe he was balancing his karma a little or something along those lines. “I’m going to sleep now, and tomorrow I’ll try and change my mood.”

Well, _he_ wasn’t going to do anything, but he was giving his other self the opportunity to come back to a less than hostile environment. Still taking for granted there was an after for this body, past the jump.

Gonta nodded, his eyes lighting up a little, probably from happiness, and then he left, turning off the lights before closing the door. Kokichi didn’t lie down, closed his eyes or did anything else that would be considered resting. No, what he did was gather all the feelings he had mused in the last days and prepare himself to bring them to the next world.

He wasn’t going to let anyone else think he was pathetic any longer.

* * *

 

 

**Save state?**

**> Yes**

**No**

**Type the element to transfer over:**

**> Keep an eye on Ouma Kokichi.**

**Confirm?**

**> Yes**

**No**

**Save state completed. Please wait.**

**Loading…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi's birthday is already past... but hey, this is my present for you, you got to punch Shuichi, good going! u_u


	15. 5th Playthrough

Yeah, he wasn’t going to let them think he was pathetic.

Except he fucking was, _for real,_ this time.

When he got back to his senses his first thought was that he was inside a dark room. He had jumped in the late evening, so maybe this Kokichi was resting inside a bedroom. He wasn’t lying down though, he was sitting normally and in a not-so-comfortable position. He blinked three times, waiting for his eyes to get used to the light, even the darkest room could offer some light, as long as he was willing to wait. Five estimated minutes later he had to accept that he wasn’t getting any better. Kokichi sighed, annoyed immensely, and started to search around with his hands. He was sitting on a couch, or a sofa, that was very nice at the touch, not those cheap materials that were often used to make easily affordable sofas. This reminded him a little of the sofa he had in his ass-rich apartment in the universe where he met Shuichi for the first time. This was not a piece of furniture you would use for a student apartment, so this time he wasn’t living alone, he was living with his parents. Fair enough, it had been a while since last time he had lived with parents.

He turned and raised on his knees on the sitting of the sofa, searching for the wall behind it, that wasn’t there. This sofa was  surely placed in the middle of a living room, far from any wall. Why was this Kokichi sitting in there, in the middle of the living room in the dark? Why was a living room so dark in the first place, weren’t there any windows? Even with the shades down some light would always filtrate past. He turned again and searched in front of the sofa instead, as expected he found a small table with his hand. The cold feeling of the material told him it was either metal or glass. Probably glass. He stopped that exploration, since a table in the middle of a living room wouldn’t contain a switch for the lights. He stood and chose to try to the right of the sofa.

He took some tentative steps swinging his arms left and right carefully as to not hurt himself. His feet were not making much noise, and the texture he vaguely felt was that of a very soft and heavy carpet, that too had to be of good quality. The feeling of déjà vu became stronger, and he wasn’t sure he was happy. Another universe where he was rich as fuck and targeted by everyone wasn’t what he needed right now.

He kept walking little by little, ever so slightly more annoyed that he wasn’t finding anything on his path that could help. Even a corner of a piece of furniture could be useful, right now, it seemed like he was walking inside a frigging ballroom with no end in sight. Literally and figuratively both.

Then he tripped onto something.

It came so suddenly that he didn’t have the time to break the fall with his arms, he fell directly on his face, probably breaking some bone. He wasn’t facing the floor in a perfectly perpendicular way, he had been a little turned to the right, so when he fell he hit his cheek bone and his orbital area. He sat up immediately, he wasn’t so hurt, but the pain was pulsating up and down the side of his face so he pressed a cool hand on it. During the fall he had let out a sound of surprise but he hadn’t let out a cry of pain yet, so he lost his cue. Right now it was kind of silly to yell, the deed had already been done, if they pain had been enough then he should have already done so. He realized himself this undeniable truth, but he flat out ignored it and decided to scream anyway.

“Well, that hurts!”

It was a scream of indignation toward the unknown. It didn’t have a target or a meaning, it was just supposed to let the universe know that Kokichi had not appreciated. He felt a little better and was about to get up when a voice interrupted the moment, taking Kokichi by surprise. He had taken for granted that he was alone in the house, but he had been mistaken, there was someone else, a woman.

“Ouma-san! Are you hurt, why did you move without calling me?”

Hands grabbed him by the arms, lifting him up a little so that this person could have a better look at him. Kokichi realized the contradiction in this statement immediately. How could _she_ see, while he couldn’t? The answer came naturally, and it wasn’t a good one.

He pushed the thought aside for a moment, to focus on the present. The woman, she wasn’t young, her voice didn’t sound young at all, had called him Ouma-san. She wasn’t a relative or a friend, probably an employee. A housekeeper, a maid? He already had a butler once, the closes thing to a granddad he ever had, so why not a female version, it made sense.

“I just fell flat on my face, this is nothing.” he tried to get her off him, he didn’t enjoy being manhandled by anyone, let alone strangers.

“You should have waited for me! I told you I was just going to get the tea ready and I was right back. Or at least call me before moving if you couldn’t wait. I know you enjoy your independency, but your parents are very worried about you. They pay me to take care of you, please don’t make my work harder!” she pleaded while maneuvering his face so she could see if there was any damage.

He guessed there wasn’t any blood involved or bruise because she sounded a little more calm by the end of the examination.

“So I suppose this is not a moment that will end soon, am I right?” he asked, not really searching for an answer.

The woman hesitated for a moment, even in his veil of darkness Kokichi could perceive her confusion.

“No, I’m not going to stop serving soon, Ouma-san, I know I’m new to this family, but I’m determinate to do a good job. I’ll take good care of you.”

She had misunderstood. She thought he was asking if she was going to leave her job as his caretaker soon. She probably thought he was blaming her for his fall or something. Kokichi wasn’t in the mood to clear up the misunderstanding so he sighed in annoyance and tried to get up. She helped him get up even if he didn’t ask, nor appreciate, and she subtly hinted with body language for him to return to the sofa.

Of course Kokichi didn’t return to the sofa.

In fact, he tugged away from her hands in the complete opposite direction. He heard her make a small sound of concern as she hurried to follow. Kokichi wasn’t sure of what he wanted to do himself, if make a fool out of himself, trying to walk fast until he hit something again, or if let her help and find the door first try. Not having the slight idea how this house was structured, and being blind, was surely demising his chances of _not_ colliding against a wall. She tugged him gently at the elbow toward the right and Kokichi swallowed his pride and let her conduct him to the door.

So, assuming this guy had lived in this house since a while, even if he was born blind he should still know where the hell was his room. Kokichi was no expert on blind people’s daily life, but he was pretty sure they often had a good hearing but more importantly they were memorizing the plants of the buildings they usually frequented. Their own frigging homes were probably the highest in the list, so showing the woman he didn’t know where to go wasn’t a great idea. At the same time, from the way she was communicating with him, it was clear that she wasn’t in his service since a long time. Hopefully she wouldn’t realize that his ability to navigate in autonomy had drastically decreased. Of course, his parents would notice instantly. Unless this Kokichi had been blind for a very short period of time, which was another possibility.

“Take me to my room.” he ordered, making sure it sounded like an order.

Why he hadn’t jump away yet, honestly he wasn’t sure himself. This universe looked straight trash from the get-go, there was nothing good in his inability to navigate by himself and the same could be said for his most pathetic side yet. He really could not imagine how someone would ever take him seriously like this. Not to be mean, surely people that were blind for real had their own ways of getting around and doing stuff, but for Kokichi it had just happened in a flash. He was like a newborn baby, absolutely unable to take care of himself. He couldn’t even see or write down which number universe he had just departed from. The way he was stumbling about, with his elbow in her hand so she could direct him while not making a lot of physical contact, was already giving him a hard time. Even the fact that his bedroom was so far from the living room was a negative in his book, something he would normally barely even notice.

“Here, Ouma-san.” she stopped, they could be anywhere, like at the edge of a pool for as much as Kokichi knew. He had found the doorframe with his free arm though, so at least he knew he was standing at the entrance of some room. Here, this kind of uncertainty was another bad point. He had to trust other people. Kokichi, trust other people, good joke. “You should start to get changed, your evening stroll is in less than half an hour. Your escort is going to show up soon.”

She left his elbow and he heard her steps getting father away from him. So she trusted that he could find his way in his room. Yeah, right.

He kept his fingers firmly attached to the wall, sliding across until he found something else, probably a piece of furniture. He stumbled on something else, and fell with his knees on the ground. At the very least there was another one of those fancy carpets, so he didn’t hurt himself. From this particular position he realized something, crawling was better than walking right now. He had a faint feeling of mischief raising in his chest, and he felt a little child again as he started to examine the whole room to his heart content while on all fours. He took pleasure in being aware that he looked like a fool right now, and he was still doing it in spite of it. It wasn’t like someone was looking at him right now, and even if… it wasn’t like Kokichi was aware that someone was there looking.

He discovered that the room was incredibly big, so big he wondered if this was never supposed to be a bedroom, but his parents had given it to him because he needed space. He had a bed, well obviously, a low table made of soft plastic, like those for toddlers, a closet, a drawer, and a desk, all with the corners beveled. It showed that his parents were very considerate of him, they did their best to make sure he couldn’t get hurt, not even by accident. He found the clothes that he was supposed to wear on top of the bed, neatly folded, probably by that caretaker herself. He had absolutely no idea what those were, so he couldn’t tell if they were repulsive or not. He found that he didn’t care.

He didn’t think, he just moved his hands. Undressing was taking up all his concentration, and he was doing it while still sitting on the floor, so he didn’t need to worry about his balance as well. He removed piece by piece, finding the right spot with each one. Buttons then zip for the pants, other buttons for the shirt, he left the undershirt where it was and started to dress up again. That was the same kind of work, only more difficult because as long as he was wearing them there was no way he would confuse the top for the bottom. The new ones, in a lump as they were, they were all the same for him. He followed the rim of the holes to try and understand if it was a sleeve, a collar or something else entirely. It took him a long while but he got it done.

When he finished he nodded, proud of himself. He remained where he was seated on the carpet that was soft and warm. He had to think about what to do now, since the current task was over. That caretaker told him that his escort was going to arrive soon, whatever that meant, but she never said anything about waiting in here or anywhere else. He didn’t want to run around happily in all four for the whole house so he decided to wait where he was, someone was going to check on him, eventually. More importantly, this was the best chance to jump, if he wanted to. He didn’t leave any special impression of himself yet, so the other self could come back and continue his life as if nothing happened, if that was the case. As always Kokichi didn’t know what was happening to the bodies he was leaving behind.

But did he want to?

A part of him, the most logical part, was telling him to jump without hesitation. This universe was a pain to deal with, it would take a mountain of effort to get used to and even if he met Shuichi it wasn’t like he could _see_ him. Was it worth it to waste time in a place he already knew it was not acceptable in the long run? The other side of him, the childish and malicious side of him, wanted to stay exactly because it was such a bothersome universe. He wanted to see what would happen if he was to act like he didn’t want any kind of responsibility, like he was a little kid and the adults had to take care of him. It had been such a long time… probably since the orphanage and Kaito’s first appearance. Since then he had to learn how to take care of himself. Sure, the universe immediately after he had a family, and a wonderful sister called Kaede to complete the picture, but at that time Kokichi already had the weight of his superpower in his mind. His childish innocence had started to fade.

Since then almost every day it was a unknown variable. Should he jump or not? Since that age he had had that responsibility, he had to chose for himself every day. A kid shouldn’t have to take this decision, and because of it he felt many many times like he was robbed of something. He got a superpower and had to give something in return, he had told himself, but no one ever asked for his opinion after all. He was free to hate it or disagree.

He wanted to try, he wanted to waste some time in here and see how it was to give up on being autonomous and behave like a helpless child. He would never do it in any other place, his pride would not allow him to stand them looking at him in this weak form, but here he literally could _not see_ them looking at him in any way. It was possible they would say something, or try to prank him or hurt him… but that was easy to remedy, much more than Kokichi’s hurt pride. He still had not forgiven them for looking at him that way in the previous universe. He loved being petty.

“Ouma-san, are you ready for the walk?” another female voice came from the door, or Kokichi supposed so.

“Yeah, sure.” Kokichi answered, sounding petulant even to his own ears.

The voice didn’t answer immediately and Kokichi pondered it. It was not the same woman as before, this voice was softer and quieter, it gave a vibe of someone that would never get mad or lose their patience. It was difficult to tell if the impression was the right one, but from that little he had heard he was positive that it was someone young, maybe in the twenties, and his mental image showed him a slender girl taller than him. Well, that she was taller it was almost a given, he didn’t need his imagination. Every person was taller than him, as long as it was the same age or older.

“Ouma-san, your t-shirt is backward, is it meant to be that way?” she asked.

Ah, so this was why she hesitated. She didn’t know how to call him out without offending him.

“No, it not.” he said, furrowing his lips but not moving in any other way.

“Do you need my help?” she asked with courtesy, her tone neutral.

“No, I need you to leave the room and let me do my thing.” his tone was not neutral for sure, it was a little hostile to say the least.

“Of course, call me when you are ready.” she said and Kokichi focused on his hearing to hear her leave the room.

When he hear the door closing softly he growled a little bit. The shame he thought he would feel didn’t came, at least not as strong as he feared, and so he confirmed his intention to remain in this place for a little while longer. First he was better solving the most relevant problem though, which was his t-shirt. He took it off but made sure to keep a solid grasp on the part that was previously considered the front, so he could turn it the other way. He did it, carefully, because he didn’t want to call her in and be in the same exact situation from before. There was a limit to how much he could be stupid even right now, even though he guessed he could pass it as a joke. He took his sweet time, making sure to concretize a mental image of the back and front of a t-shirt and run a simulation of how it would look on him, he run the simulation three times to be extra sure. Kokichi wondered how was his other self, the actual owner of this body, getting around doing this. He didn’t have the opportunity to run mental tests, he had to learn clothes by touch. Kokichi just couldn’t imagine.

“I’m ready, is my Cinderella carriage ready as well?” he sing-sang a little.

The door opened again.

“Ready to go, when you want.” her tone had not changed at all.

Kokichi got on his feet, too bad he couldn’t keep crawling around, it was fun, and extended his arms to search for the girl. He had mostly localized her position because he had a decent idea of where the door was but he didn’t want to make a mistake and hit his face on the floor again. He wondered if he was developing a bruise. The girl took him by the arm, her grasp much more confident compare to the other woman. Now he knew for a fact, that woman was new both to this place and to her job, she didn’t know him very well, nor how to take care of him. This girl was different, she knew him since a while longer and knew what to do with him. How or why was still unknown.

In a few minutes he realized what was the difference for a blind person between being guided by someone that was confident and competent and someone that was not. If before he had felt much more worried and unsure, willing to wave his arms around to make double sure, this time he left himself be guided without a thought. He didn’t even get the instinct of feel around, and their steps were faster and steady. Soon he felt a nice breeze on his face and bare arms, telling him that he had left the walls of the house.

They walked, Kokichi had no idea in which direction, toward what or for what reason, but the girl didn’t seem to be in a hurry, her steps were short and slow. It was probably just a little stroll to have him breathe some fresh air. He could hear something in the background and after a few moments of uncertainty he recognized the sound as waves. They were near the ocean, but not close enough to be heard properly. The breeze was getting a salty smell as well that confirmed his hypothesis. The temperature was not hot nor cold, it was something around the middle of these two terms, and Kokichi couldn’t feel the sun on his skin. Based on these information he estimated it to be around six or seven in the evening.

Since he could not look at the scenery, Kokichi focused more on what he knew and what he didn’t know about this universe. He knew that his family was still a whole and they had money, enough money to get him two different caretakers. He knew he lived near the ocean. He knew it was summer, based on the fact that his clothes had short sleeves and more pragmatically because he already knew for a fact that he was not moving forward or backward in time; any time it was when he left, it still was here and now.

Based on these information he could start with what he didn’t know. For example he didn’t know if he was going to a normal school, with other people his age or not. As far as he knew he could be tutored by one of these two caretakers or even by a third person. Or he could more simply be enjoying a very normal summer break, and he would be back to school after a couple months or weeks, depending on the school. Another important point was if he should know Braille, because Kokichi surely couldn’t read it. He had actually memorized it a long time ago, because he needed to decipher a code inside a videogame, but he had memorized it visually, not using touch. He had a feeling it was quite different, and not only that, too much time had passed, his memory was not that good. Right now he couldn’t exactly sneak a peek and see how it looked like so he could memorized it all over again. Yet another interesting question was the role of this girl. Was she supposed to accompany him navigating around town, or city, or village, or wherever they were, or was she just some company they had booked for him every day. Something to make him feel less alone? How close was his relationship with this girl? At least she wasn’t his girlfriend. It wasn’t something to underestimate, he had had girlfriends in some universes.

All of those were interesting dilemmas but none of them was going to get solved, asking right now was a bad idea.

After some time the sound of the ocean was right next to him, the waves hitting the beach or rocks and retreating were making an unmistakable loud noise. He couldn’t feel sand under his shoes, so they were probably somewhere like a promenade. She then guided him to a bench and had him sit.

“Do you want an ice cream or something to drink, Ouma-san?” she asked, courteous as always.

This had to be some kind of routine. He guessed it because the girl didn’t sit next to him, she was still standing, waiting for him to ask for something. If it was a spur of the moment decision she wouldn’t have asked even before sitting.

“Ice cream, chocolate and raspberry.” he wasn’t even sure they were selling the second flavor, raspberry wasn’t a classic but it was one of his favorite.

“Understood.” she didn’t give any indication she thought something was off.

Kokichi heard her steps getting away and he tried to relax on the bench. It was much more difficult than he expected, as soon as he realized he was alone in a public space he understood much better how vulnerable he was. He heard more steps, from multiple people, coming and going right in front of him. It was nice that he knew there were other people around, but he wasn’t able to recognize the steps of the girl compared to anyone else’s. He spent the time waiting for her following with his mind, and partially with his head because he couldn’t stop himself from trying to look at the source of the sound, the people strolling in front of him. If any of them decided to do something to him… he was lucky that everyone was ignoring him, but that couldn’t be eternally the case. For example if someone wanted to sit next to him right now and they hadn’t noticed he was blind…

“Hi, I see that you really are always here at this time of day. Isn’t it boring?”

A voice suddenly sounded from his side and Kokichi was pretty sure he jumped at least ten inches. His reaction was completely disjointed, since he couldn’t tell how close or far this person was he moved away in the opposite direction close to the end of the bench, trying to keep the balance with his arms. He surely looked pretty silly right now, but he couldn’t offer any better reaction considering how little he was used to all this. The voice had sounded really close to him, it was a male young voice, he couldn’t tell much more than that.

“Who are you?” he asked, and he hated that his voice cracked with fear.

When he didn’t get an answer he worried beyond belief, he couldn’t remember the last time he had been so worried by the unknown. Why wasn’t he answering? Who was this person? Did they know each other? Was Kokichi supposed to know and recognize him?

“Ah, sorry, I scared you. I see you here every day, I thought I could say hi. I didn’t realize that speaking to you like this could not be very nice of me. You didn’t hear me coming, did you?”


	16. 5th Playthrough

Kokichi didn’t feel very comforted, but if he wanted to do something to him physically he would have already done it. If he was trying to trick him in some cunning way with words, he was talking to the wrong person. Maybe he thought he was easy to mess around because he was blind. Kokichi didn’t even have money or something valuable on himself that he could steal. He knew because he had changed and he had touched himself and his clothes all over. He had nothing on his persona. His escort probably had everything on her.

“No, I didn’t hear you. I was probably distracted. Or maybe you have light steps.”

“Well, probably a combination of all of these. I walk silently, but even so I’m sure you could have heard me when I was so close, you were probably distracted.” he answered, like he was doing small-talk.

“What do you want? Why are you talking to me?” he didn’t care if he sounded hostile.

“Don’t get so much on the defensive, I assure you I don’t want anything in particular. I usually pass through here after the end of my shift of my part-time job at the beach and I saw you here a bunch of times already. You are usually with a good looking girl that’s leading you around or giving you food.” his tone of voice hadn’t change all that much.

Why was he making it sound like Kokichi was either a little kid or a stray helpless animal?

“So what? Do you want me to hook you up with that girl?” he mentioned her being good looking after all, it wasn’t like Kokichi was saying something that no one ever mentioned.

“No thank you. As I asked at the beginning, I was just wondering if it’s not boring to do the same thing over and over again every day.” still no difference.

Kokichi didn’t know how to answer. For him this was the first day of this life. He didn’t know how the previous Kokichi felt about it or why was he doing it. It could be something that he negotiated with his parents, or maybe he wanted it, or maybe they forced him. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t even know if he should ask or do anything about it. Being blind was making him more defenseless than usual and so he wasn’t as enthusiastic as usual in defying the people that he was depending on. He almost wanted to go away and leave this guy all by himself but if they were both taking this route everyday and he was as obnoxious as Kokichi was… then the next day he would appear again. And more simply he couldn’t leave because he didn’t know where to go, he could very easily fall head first into the ocean.

“A little. My parents are paying her to take me out and breath some fresh air. I like ice cream and I can’t go too far from home. This is simply the most convenient path.” hearing himself talking he complimented his genius; it sounded perfectly logical.

“I see. Are you afraid of the ocean?” he changed the subject with complete nonchalance.

“What? Why are you asking that now?” he had been caught off guard so he answered instantly in his most honest way of speaking, he regretted it a little bit.

He didn’t want to let show his true character right now, to a stranger and in a world he didn’t know. He had to be more careful, before he could blurt out something more important.

“Because it’s summer, or almost, and everyone is already going to the beach down there to play. You always stay here on this bench. I understand you wanting to have an efficient path to eat ice cream and breath some fresh air, but you could play in the sand or in the water a little as well.” oh, they were back to the previous topic. Was he obsessed or something? “So I wondered if you are afraid of the ocean.”

“No, not really… If there is someone with me. It’s just a hassle to change.”

That last part was the undeniable truth. Kokichi was slow as fuck in changing, he needed much more practice to become faster. About the first part, he just guessed. With his sight, he wasn’t scared of water. He wasn’t the best swimmer, but he knew how to float at the very least. Kaede’s parents were the ones that taught him, but he remembered only drinking water and running away screaming. Kaede had laughed behind his back a lot. Maybe that had been the reason why he never really loved swimming. He knew how, but he wouldn’t do it for fun. In this case the real Kokichi’s fears didn’t matter, because as long as he wasn’t scared his body would still obey to him. Being scared was not something physical like blindness or allergies. But he knew for a fact he wanted someone else to be with him, the hell he was going anywhere near the ocean by himself.

“I see… Well, that’s a pity.”

“Can I know why are you so hung up on this? What do you want from me?” Kokichi was really getting fed up of this conversation, was his escort back yet?

“I was hoping to get a new client for the shop on the beach where I work. Since you are always here and always eating something… you can come and eat at our place!” the guy’s tone finally changed, it became cheerful and light.

Now Kokichi had been definitely taken by surprise. This guy was worst then him at changing mood and direction of the discussion. Kokichi reserved this only to his worst enemies, not to random stranger met for the first time. A part of Kokichi was intrigued, the other part was terrified by him. If this was Shuichi then sure, he would love all this, but this was not Shuichi. His voice was wrong and all the more proof; Shuichi was never approaching him first without a good reason. Actually, Shuichi never approached anyone without a good reason. No, this was a more upfront but similarly annoying version of Kaito and Rantaro fused together. Something horrifying.

He wasn’t biting to this trap, nope.

“Well, I’ll think about it. I don’t know, I rather like this ice cream here.”

“Our ice cream is good as well. And we have a bunch of flavors!” again with that stupid voice. Kokichi was on the verge of shoo him away for real. “Do you want me to give you a taste? Tell me your favorite flavor, it’s close by, I can get you one and come back, it’s on me!” then he suddenly stopped speaking. If a moment before Kokichi was hoping for him to stop talking, very vividly at that, now the sudden silence poke him out a little. What was his problem? He felt a little mad at himself. “Oh, your friend is coming back, I’ll leave you alone. But stop by tomorrow at the shop, okay?”

Kokichi didn’t have time to protest, because that was his instinct somehow, that he heard his steps getting away fast. Now he was running away?! Seriously, he had been the worst bother he had met in a little while! Yes… in a little while. His life was to jump from an annoying person to the next.

“Ouma-san, here is your ice cream.” the girl said, she had returned as tha guy had anticipated to him.

Kokichi extended his hand and she placed something with the shape of a cone in it, she waited for him to close his fingers around it and then she removed her hand. Now that he couldn’t see, and he could only focus on touch, he felt her body hear through her hand and the texture of the cornet much more clearly. They were both details that he could notice any day, in any universe, but they were so obvious and boring he never really noticed. Now he felt like he had discovered something new. The girl sat next to him again, and she gently gave him some paper napkins to help with the melting ice cream. Kokichi realized after she mentioned it that he couldn’t see where it was melting, and so he knew from experience that this was about to become a melting messy fest. When he was little he used to be too slow and his face and hand were always covered with stickiness. Not a fan.

He took a deep breath and assaulted the ice cream as fast as possible. The flavors were the ones he asked, and his mood got better when he found the raspberry with his tongue. For as fast as he was, some ice cream dropped on his hand, the cold little touches expected but not at the same time. He stopped licking only when he could feel he had reduced it to a safe size. Everyone could mock him as much as they wanted, it was not Kokichi’s fault that he had such a small mouth and tongue! He took his cornet with the other hand and cleaned his hand. Internally he was praying that no drop had fallen on himself, especially on his pants. He didn’t want to know what people would think if he was strolling around with a stain of maroon on his pants. Even better if there was some red to help the picture. He could only trust the girl to tell him if he was making a mess out of himself. He munched on the wafer, keeping a napkin right under it because it wasn’t that rare for them to break and sent ice cream liquefied flying everywhere. He loved this part the best, the ice cream was melted and was working as a kind of sauce on the wafer, creating a more complex flavor than straight ice cream. Kokichi’s favorite way to eat ice cream was inside a proper glass container, where he could wait and eat with the pace he liked best, with plenty of wafers and sugar confetti on top of it. It was the best thing.

When he finished he really wanted to wash his hands. Even with the napkin he was still feeling a little sticky. But even more importantly he wanted to throw away in the trash can the used crumbled pieces of paper in his hands. He was about to ask the girl to do it, but then he decided against. It was better for him to start and learn to be a little more capable even in this state. He still hadn’t decided how long he would remain, but for now this new experience was a good counter for boredom. That guy had asked him if he was bored, but considering that this was the most original universe he had been since a long while, if ever, the answer was definitely no. He wasn’t bored, he was intrigued. How the world was structured was nothing compared to something physical that was affecting his way of perceiving and living in it.

“Where is the trash can?” he asked her.

“On the right from the bench, turn to your right and walk straight for seven steps, you’ll find it a little to the left.” she answered in a way that gave Kokichi a vibe of a pre-planned code.

It wasn’t too crazy to think she would establish a way to guide his client efficiently even from afar, Kokichi could imagine many people being unwilling to being doted on so much she needed to take them literally everywhere. He got up, followed the bench with his hand until the end and then turned to the right. If his mental image was correct, at this maneuver was too easy to be wrong, then the trash can was directly behind Kokichi’s back when he was seated, if a little to the left. Now, about the distance, seven steps, and Kokichi wondered how could she calculate this so well on the fly, seemed like an easy instruction, but it wasn’t. A ‘step’ was not a solid measurement because there were steps and steps. There were long strides that covered a lot more ground, there were medium steps, there were steps of uncertainty that covered half the distance. Kokichi right now felt like doing only the last option.

So he took a breath and tried, ready to fell with his nose on the ground and make a fool out of himself again. After the first two steps he felt the tip of his shoes hit something and he stumbled a little, but whatever that obstacle had been it was low on the ground, so he got over easily. When he placed his next feet he felt something soft under it, and no sound. The stone path had ended, he was walking all over a grassy area, which explained the obstacle. He had stumbled upon the small concrete step that was dividing the path from the flowerbed. He instinctively raised his hands to feel in front of him and continued walking. Step after step he started to hear some kids yelling and laughing, playing somewhere near him but not too close.

After two more steps he started to feel to the left and found his target after an hesitant step in that direction. With his hands he followed the shapes until he found the hole and he threw the napkins in there. He straighten up completely, almost thinking about throwing his hands up in the air in triumphs. He had done the stupidest thing even a kid could do, but it required him so much work and focus he felt proud of himself anyway. And with this out of the way, he took a deep breath filled with ocean salt and he recovered the flash of inspiration he had a moment ago, when hearing the kids.

Piece after piece Kokichi had connected together all he needed to understand the area he was currently in. So, there was the ocean, the bench was facing it and the bench was on the side of a stony path that people were using to stroll around, then there was a grass part behind the bench that was dividing the area in a half. On the other side of the grass, with a trashcan at the edge, was a playground for kids. He was sure that if he kept walking he would end up finding a swing, a slide, and maybe one of those balance games, or even a climbable cube! This was a _park!_ He smiled, feeling actually glad he had taken this stroll outside the house for the first time. He could do it, he could learn how to deal with this, a piece at a time. It was like a game, a detective game. He didn’t want to live here forever, but he liked this place, it was quiet and refreshing.

He was staying.

The only problem was… no, that wasn’t really a problem after all.

He returned to the bench and asked if they could go a little further ahead. He had still many things to explore before feeling at home in this new place.


	17. 5th Playthrough

His house was so big that one single evening wasn’t enough to explore it all considering the pace he was forced to move.

But even so he didn’t want to alert the caretaker, so a more accurate and slower inspection was more appropriate. And even like this he learned some interesting things. For example, Kokichi’s parents were back for dinner, he ate alone with that old woman helping him. After his younger escort had left, he had remained alone at home his parents weren’t there. He had asked the old caretaker and she sounded surprised by his question, she said his parents were never home until after nine. Kokichi was used to this since back in the universe where he had met Shuichi for the first time, but he was a little surprised that they were leaving their blind son home alone so much, even if it was summer. He guessed all these paid aids he was getting were an attempt to clean their conscience and lift their responsibility.

The dinner itself had been a real pain. As soon as he raised his chopsticks he realized just how absurd this was going to be. He could see the place, he could see the rice or whatever else was in it… and he couldn’t use his hands. Unfortunately there wasn’t a sensory nerve connected to the chopstick, so he wouldn’t know if he was capturing something or not. It was much more likely that he would grab the air forever and ever without help. Next to the chopsticks he found a spoon, which was easier to use, but still didn’t clarify the position of the food. He should maybe ask, have her help find it, but he was stubborn and immature, so the hell he was going to ask. He ended up tracing the whole plate, external circle and interior like a spiral, making sure that everything that was in it was piling up in the center. Even this way, he still had so much trouble bringing actually something in his mouth. The rice would fall off the spoon midair, or he would not find the mouth and hit his cheek instead. At one point he was about to start screaming and asking why in the world hadn’t she cooked something that he could grab with his hands and stuff it in his mouth like a monkey.

Even the water was an obstacle. After he found the glass he brought it to his mouth, again with some missed shots, and then he slowly tilted it. The water in the glass was probably at the midpoint of something, because he tilted it slowly, scared to have it come to fast and drench him, instead it was never coming. He spent more than twenty seconds tilting a glass and not getting any water.

And then there was a pudding. Kokichi’s face, by the end of this dinner, was worse than that of one of those small child playing with food and smearing it all over. He was getting disgusted of himself. This whole food thing had to get better or else he was going to ignore hygiene and eat with his hands everything.

In the end he was glad that his parents weren’t around.

When they returned Kokichi had already cleaned up himself at the best of his abilities, trying to look as normal as he could. They greeted him and asked him about his day, Kokichi didn’t narrate his day because he had no idea about the first half, and the caretaker could contradict him. Instead he said that they day had been normal, that nothing had happened to him. He turned the question against them, asking how their day had went, hoping to get their profession out of the answer. He wasn’t so lucky, the answers were pretty standard and boring, like any adult that thought that kids were not interested in the adults’ jobs. Since he didn’t know the previous Kokichi, he could only guess that it was his way of dealing with them. Kokichi was probably never asking them anything important, so they were used to not giving anything important to him.

Kokichi gave up for the day, hoping to never find himself in the situation where he had to tell someone his parent’s jobs. Easy enough, he just needed to pretend he was an unfriendly little emo, if anyone asked he could just shot back a ‘what business do you have with my parents?’ or something equally aggressive. Unless his parents themselves were giving him a pop quiz, in that case there was nothing to be done, except try to make them think he was joking after saying he didn’t remember.

With the help of the caretaker he returned to his room and she gave him the pajama he had to change into. He waited for her to leave, then he dropped the pajama on the bed and hurried to lock the door. He wanted to be completely alone for a while, at least. With a feeling of relief he sluggishly changed into the pajama, not really caring if it was backward since no one was going to see him. He was throwing the comforter aside to sleep when he was hit by a sudden flash. Was the light on? How could he tell? He couldn’t. He reached the door again and searched for the light switch that was next to it with his fingers. He traced the shape of the button, but that didn’t tell him anything. He asked himself why they hadn’t at least written something on it with Braille, even if he couldn’t read it, but then he realized. Kokichi was not even supposed to turn on and off the lights, because there was no meaning in that action. The parents and caretaker were surely the only ones pressing this button, Kokichi had no business with it.

Had she turned the lights off before leaving? The sound of a switch was something so obvious that Kokichi honestly could not remember at all if he had heard it or not when she left. He pressed the button, and nothing happened. Well, obviously. Then he pressed it again. At least if it was still turned on he could blame the caretaker, he had left it the same way she had! But it was strange to think there was the possibility he was sleeping with his lights on. Maybe for someone else it would feel silly, but Kokichi really disliked the thought. While he was sleeping he wanted to be covered by the darkness, protected, in a way. If there was light everyone could look at him while he was defenseless, and that was not good. Not to mention the even sillier feeling that he would roast, because nights were supposed to be cool with all the lights off, sleeping under a light felt hot, for some stupid reason his brain could not explain.

So when he lied down and covered himself with the sheets and comforter up to the nose he tried to relax but failed. He was keeping imagining the room completely lit and he looking silly sleeping under a turned on light. The only thing he could do to make it stop was to cover up his whole face and create a cocoon. It wasn’t all that comfy, and it felt stuffy, but it was better than nothing. Next day he was going to be extra sure to listen to the sound of the switch.

With this problem taken care off he was sure he would fall asleep in moments, since he was feeling really tired, but it didn’t happen. If anything with every passing moment he was more and more awake.

He had yet to meet Shuichi in this world.

It wasn’t so surprising really, it already happened a bunch of times before, and he had barely left the house. It was summer vacation as well, Shuichi could be anywhere, even at Hawaii enjoying the sun. But Shuichi knew better than to fool himself with these thoughts, if Shuichi was around he surely was somewhere close by. It never happened that he hadn’t met him for more than three days, and that one time it took three whole days Kokichi thought he was going to have a seizure. He should be feeling okay right now, there was no reason for him to be anxious about that, but something in his mind was refusing to let it go. That punch was maybe the first time he had interacted in a violent way with him, no not maybe, it surely was the first and only time. What if destiny had decided to punish him for it? What is Shuichi had vanished from the world, from any world? It wasn’t like he had a perfect understanding or control over his power, anything was possible really. After all he never met his father again. For father he didn’t mean his natural one, he meant… well, it was obvious who he meant. Why, why was Kokichi still thinking about that universe, why was he…

Why were his eyes tearing up right now? Shuichi was somewhere, and that man was just a random stranger, there was nothing else to be said. Everything was fine.

Except it was not fine at all.

Was he really going to give up on Shuichi? His decision to remain and actually nothing to do, deep down, with how different and unusual this place was, with what kind of different prospective he could get while being here… no, his true reason was much more coward that that, and now, hidden under the covers probably under a still turned on light that he couldn’t fix, he could admit it to himself.

Blind he could not see Shuichi. Blind he could not play the game. Blind he could not act like he usually was. Blind he was freed of all his burdens, simply because he had a great excuse to not confront them. He could pretend he was someone he was not, and he could do so while justify himself with his own conscience by saying he could not do anything else. Which was beyond ridiculous, because Kokichi could jump right this moment, he wasn’t stuck anywhere, he could do everything, as always. How heavy was this life. To be the only human on Earth, to be playing a meaningless game.

What was even his point in trying to get Shuichi? To prove he was alive, to prove that he could mean something, because everything was meaningless. Was he really so pathetic he could not live in other way but live to be recognized as something by someone? Maybe he should take this as a sign, a sign that he needed to stop. This universe was difficult to navigate, it was also scary and empty, but it was peaceful. He could live like a normal, pitiful blind guy forever.

_How boring, how unsightly, how pathetic._

But then what should he do? Keep running after Shuichi like a fool? Wasn’t that unsightly as well? And very pathetic, to be honest. Kokichi had always been pathetic, since the first jump. He jumped because he was a pathetic victim, and then again, for the same reason. And again, and again, and again and AGAIN AND AGAIN AND—

Kokichi hid his face deep in the pillow and cried out in frustration and pain. It was hard to even do that much, because his throat was killing him like he had eaten a porcupine. He hated this feeling, like he was giving up, but he also hated the way things were going with Shuichi. He had gotten too dependant of him, and while he had consciously decided for this route, he wasn’t expecting it to be so hard. Hard not in the sense that Shuichi was rejecting him, that was just a secondary concern, no, hard because he was reacting to every and each of his changes like his life depended on it. He had been able to throw him into this kind of pain and despair just by changing a little bit, by disrespecting the image Kokichi had of him.

It was getting too much, Kokichi was starting to lose his mind.

It was scary to think that Shuichi could not be here, in this world, but at the same time he was kind of hoping he was not. He needed to distance himself a little from him. He needed to be able to survive even in a world without him, or else he would really lose his mind, sooner or later. He had decided, he was staying here.

For the second time. And he already knew that ever three or four hours he would question himself all over again. He really hated himself sometimes.

The night passed almost peacefully, strangely he didn’t have any nightmare. It was like his head was filled with cotton the whole time, he was assisting to bit and pieces of scenes and conversation on his dream, but he couldn’t respond to any of it properly because he was feeling sluggish and dumb. He even felt like he had woken up a couple times, but his body refused to listen to any of his commands, heavy as a boulder. After waking up he couldn’t tell if he had really awoken of if he was just dreaming of being unable to move.

When he woke up and he opened his eyes to see only darkness for a moment he thought he was in one of his thousandths dormitory rooms with the shades down so it was blocking the sun. He had a distinct feeling it had to be late morning. It took him a moment, after searching with his hand for a light switch near the bed, that it was probably not the case. He was still not used to be blind. Of course, it was obvious to think about. No one get used to the absence of something you had your whole life and that’s so granted and vital.

The morning moved slowly, even more so because he could not look at the clock, ask every five minutes the time didn’t seem a good idea. He had never really wondered how blind people were getting to places in time without help, since they couldn’t see the sun, the clocks or even a digital clock like a phone. Were they really so dependent on others? Kokichi was used to live a life of action, one event after the other, and time was important. Now that he was forced to sit around and wait for it to pass and something to happen he found himself completely lost. He couldn’t even browse the internet or read something, or play a game. Maybe he could listen to music, but doing so while sitting rigidly on a sofa for hours was more of a bother than a merit. He liked to listen to music while walking around, or at least move around the room. 

Instead of feeling relaxed he was feeling anxious.

 After some time the caretaker helped him out the house, into the garden. It seemed that one of the favorite activity that Kokichi had was gardening. He was again left alone surrounded by flowers and plants . He wasn’t a lover of this kind of slow and boring work, water, prune, potting, but he could see why the previous Kokichi had chosen to do this. Plants and flowers were very nice to touch, the feeling of smooth and cold leaves, of silky and sticky flower and the roughness solidity of the wood. All of those were comforting and safe sensations, and to that there was to add the scent of fresh and sweet. The cold water and warm soil were also quite nice. It took him a while to understand where he was supposed to act and to what end, since he couldn’t see the plants and he couldn’t see what their needs were, but eventually he got the hang of it. He was digging the soil with his finger a little to see if it was too dry, or if it was already humid. He was following the general shape of the plant to feel if there was a twig that was poking out of it because it was too long. When it came to potting the woman helped him by telling which plants needed a change of pot with a slightly bigger one.

At least Kokichi was smart enough to not chose roses or succulents as his pastime.

Lunch was a disappointing salad, that Kokichi disliked. He had never understood this mania for salads, they were fine every once in a blue moon if there was a lot of ingredients in them, but eat all that _grass_ was not something he was fond of. He wasn’t a goat, for fuck sake! And he wasn’t fat, he didn’t need a diet. And he wasn’t even vegetarian, clearly. It could be summer, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t hungry.

In the early afternoon the girl returned, but this time with a less enthusiastic task for him. Summer homework. Why.

He had been so happy, knowing she was coming, and now the disappointment was too big. What kind of freak does summer homework at the start of vacations? There was at least a month and a half of free time in front of him, and considering how little this guy seemed to be doing with his life…

He realized a much more important detail only after he was already sitting at the table with a pout while she was opening his books and notebooks for him. Everything was in frigging Braille. Of course it was, no shit, but he was so used to the whole concept of homework he had forgotten he needed to read in order to complete them. Summer homework in Braille, now that was a fun combination. When she sat next to him, in wait, Kokichi knew he had to do something, right now.

“Wait, before we start my homework… It’s test time! I want to see how good you are with Braille!” he yelled at a higher volume than necessary considering she was right next to him, and even he could hear the panicking note in his voice. “Give me the alphabet, I’ll test you!” he presented his hands.

“Ouma-san, you know I’m qualified in Braille, are you unsatisfied about something? Have I missed something?” she asked, ever so courteous.

“Nah, that’s not it! I just thought we could start today session with a quirk review of the old, boring stuff. C’mon, hand it over, I’ll be quick, just humor me!” he tried to sound sweet and childish to cover for his previous misstep.

“All right, but I hope you are not trying to distract me from the homework, Ouma-san, I know you hate them.” she said with a similar sweet tone, like she was smiling.

“Aww, you got me!” Kokichi chuckled cheerfully and made a grabbing motion with his hands.

She sighed in a cute way and he heard some rustling, then a piece of paper was placed in his hands. Kokichi grabbed onto it and took it to the side where he could feel it in peace without being seen. Since it was the alphabet he took for granted the order of the letters and pressed his fingers against each one, study the number and positioning of the dots.

“Hmm, C?” he asked when he reached that letter, to distracted her more than anything else.

“Two dots on the top.” she answered calmly and quickly.

“Right…” the first few letter were easy to remember, but as he gotten past G he started to confuse himself. It wasn’t nearly as easy as they would make it seems like. “H?”

They continued this for minutes, Kokichi lost track of time, and he retraced with his fingers the whole alphabet five times before he considered himself more or less ready to try. The girl was also getting impatient, even if she was good at hiding it, she was thinking that he was wasting time on purpose. With a feeling of resignation, Kokichi gave back the Braille table and tried to do his homework. It went worst than he thought. Kokichi had never realized how much his eyes were important for his memory, his fingers were not quite the same. After ten minutes of him trying to read the material out of a book all the dots positioning he had tried to learn was getting mixed up in his mind, forcing him to start from the first line of text. This worsening of his ability didn’t obviously pass unnoticed by the girl who seemed quite surprised to see him so unfocused. According to her, Kokichi was slow to get started because he was not excited about doing homework, but after a few minutes he would focus and get everything done in a flash. Since this was not the case today, the girl wondered if he was feeling sick or there was something troubling him. Kokichi could not really tell her the truth, so what he said instead was that he really wanted to do something else because he was bored.

It was true, but it was difficult to offer any kind of alternative, since all Kokichi could think of needed his eyes to work.

In the end they spent two hours on a single exercise and Kokichi’s hands weren’t able to tell apart a dot position from another anymore, because he was mentally fatigued. The girl left him off the hook when she understood that he would not be able to do anything else right now. With a sigh she collected everything from the table and told him to get ready to leave. Kokichi almost ran to the room to change, he would have ran for real if he could but he didn’t want to take that chance. At the very least the path to the bedroom was printed in his mind.

When she accompanied him to the door and outside, and he felt the scent of salt, he felt immediately better. This time he didn’t want to stop at the bench, he wanted to explore a little of the park and what was beyond. He was okay with the ice cream though.

The girl was keeping the same pace as yesterday, and Kokichi found it insufferable after a few seconds. He was always pushing forward, almost fighting against her that was keeping him back by the arm. She surely felt his impatience and his will to walk faster but she kept her stride steady.

“Don’t run, Ouma-san, you are going to bump into people.” she advised after a few meters.

Kokichi knew he should take it easy, but today had been too boring, he was willing to rick falling with flat on the ground or bump against someone. Actually, if he could, he would leave by himself with the risk of getting lost, simply because he needed to _do something._  After a time that seemed interminable to Kokichi they stopped by the usual bench, and she went get him the ice cream, but this time he didn’t wait. He got on his feet and took the same path he walked the previous day to reach the trash can. Compare to the Braille, that was a lot of memorization from zero, memorize a path without eyes was somewhat easier, because he couldn’t get distracted from the little he knew. He found the trash can with his hands and immediately prepared to move forward.

Today as well he could hear some voices of kids, playing in the playground a little in the distance. They weren’t near him, which was good because last thing he wanted was to deal with small children. Adults knew about his condition after looking at him for a few seconds, and they would leave him alone like all ‘sick’ people, but kids didn’t know how to leave people alone. If they saw him acting funny they would all swarm around him to ask a thousand questions.

He left behind the only safe point he had, the trash can, and took the first step forward. Then another one and the next, all of them short and hesitant, with the hands extended as far as he could searching left and right. The first thing he found, after five short steps, was a warm metal pipe. Kokichi could feel the sun on his skin, which meant that the metal was getting warm because of the rays of light reflecting on it. He followed the shape with the tips of his fingers, trying not to get burn or it would be worst later, and found a structure for kids to climb. It wasn’t a new structure, he could tell as much by the rusty texture in some points, and if he remembered correctly sea salt was supposed to made things rot faster. The paint over the metal was being eaten slowly from the metal, but faster compared to any other location. The structure should still be usable, though, he couldn’t believe they were irresponsible enough to let kids play in an unsafe playground.

He skipped past it, because he wasn’t climbing anything while blind, it was already a problem when he had his feet on the ground, and searched for something else. It was good that he was going slow because the next thing he found was a slide and he found it by hitting his knees on the side of the metal slide. If he had walked any faster he would have trampled over the sides and fall inside, not mentioning the pain in his legs. He found the edges with his hands and slowly navigated all around it, following until the end of the slide and passing past it. Finally he found something more up his ally, the swings. Once again he found the metal pipe first, then the swing was a little further ahead, he found the hot chain with his hands.

He maneuvered around enough to sit on it.

When he was correctly positioned and ready to swing, basking in the sun, he felt stupidly proud of himself. He had done it! He had found a swing all by himself and he was sitting on it like every other person, he had done well! He grabbed the chains strongly, ignoring the bite of the hot metal knowing that he would get used to it eventually, and took a three steps back, preparing to swing. He hold his breath and let go, helping the motion with his body.

He wasn’t expecting the gravity to pull at his internal organs so much. Was it normal? Was the gravity of this world more than usual? It didn’t seem possible, until then he had never visited a world where normal laws of physics didn’t work. It was something he was a little taking for granted but… sometimes he would realize that he had never visited a ‘fantasy world’ with magic for example, or an alien world, somewhere else on the galaxy. He didn’t know if that was supposed to tell him that these things simply were not in the field of possible, or if his superpower was selecting only a precise set of world to sent him. Both options were possible and plausible.

On a rational level he knew that this world had a completely normal value of gravity, it wasn’t any less or more than normal, but he couldn’t remember a swing ever giving him this particular feeling. Each motion, of back and forth, seemed the last one, like he would completely lose balance and fall. In particular his stomach was pulling unpleasantly, like on a roller coaster, and he was gripping the chains strongly, afraid to lose them.

Was sight really so distracting? Without, all other sensations felt so much stronger.

“Ouma-san? I have your ice cream.” the girl’s voice sounded close.

Kokichi felt an irrational disappointment. Somewhere in his mind he was hoping to have lost her. It was a ridiculous thought, since he was probably less than a hundred meters from where she had left him, but he had hoped it anyway. He wanted to continue this adventure a little longer.

He remained where he was, on the swing, and ate his ice cream as fast as he could, even if he was being a little messy. He used the napkin feeling much more sure of what he was doing, and even walked fast to the trash can and returned to the swing, feeling very sure of himself. It was like learning everything from scratches all over again, and feeling proud of himself in the process. He didn’t give a fuck that he was being risible. He started swinging again even if he didn’t find it that pleasant.

“Ouma-san… I’m sorry to remind you, but…” her pauses were a fake show of hesitation, she wanted to get his attention, she wasn’t really uncertain of what she was saying. “Have you forgotten what happened the last time you went on a swing?”

Kokichi stopped by pointing his feet on the ground.

“What happened last time?” he asked, begrudgingly.

“You puked your lunch in the bushes over there. It wasn’t funny.”

Kokichi stared at her with contempt, or he would have if he could. He was staring at something, vaguely on the direction of the voice. He could be staring at a tree for all he knew. It didn’t matter, it was the feeling behind it the point. She was ruining his fun but being reasonable, it wasn’t allowed!

He started to swing again, ignoring her. He knew she was right, he was already feeling nauseous but now he couldn’t stop, it was a matter of pride!

“Ouma-san, please, don’t make yourself sick…” her voice was a sigh.

Kokichi had a feeling she was thinking that he was an annoyance today. Good! Even in this universe he was able of being an annoyance! It just took a while to get in the right prospective!

He would have liked to keep going for a long while, but after five more minutes he had to give up. Being an annoyance was a good thing, but making himself sick was not. He wasn’t that fond of the idea of throwing up for pride reasons. There were smarter ways. Kokichi jumped away, feeling a little wobbly and unsteady on his feet. Now that the only plaything fit for someone his age had been explored plenty it was the time to leave the park and search for the next cool thing.

“So,” he repressed a wave of nausea and addressed the girl, “going past this park what is there to visit that’s interesting?” he could go there for himself, but being blind he could hardly see what there was.

Her pause made him aware that she found his question strange but there was nothing he could do about that.

“There is a summer restaurant, with a dance floor all around it that host parties at night, with music and drinks.” by the way she was saying it, it was clear she was not a fan.

“Then?”

“A parking lot?” she made it sound like a question, for some reason.

Kokichi was quickly losing his patience because she was being sassy with him and he didn’t like it. He hadn’t forgot a very obvious thing, it was actually at the front of his mind, he just didn’t want to acknowledge it but he guessed he had to. And maybe he was trying to find a good way to distract himself from his misplaced curiosity. It was a bad idea to fall for it, but he was running out of excuses.

“And I guess that there are beach establishments along the coast, right?” he asked, sounding bored.

“Yes, of course. Do you want to try the swings down there too?”

Kokichi was about to throw something at her, even if he didn’t have anything to throw and he would miss her anyway. He hated the way she was treating him, like he was a bored little children throwing a tantrum. The fact that he totally was one was beside the point.

“Alright, let’s go! I decided I’m going to explore the beach from now on!”

He started walking in that direction, ignoring the fact that he could be walking to a bottomless pit. The girl grabbed his arm to direct him around the obstacles. Kokichi knew that the seaside was a touristic zone with things like restaurants, parks, cafes, and general empty areas to walk around or park a car, but even if he knew he hoped to have something else to do that to give up and go to the beach. He already was not a fan of sitting in a café table with his sight, let alone without. He totally could not get that vibe of chill that some people liked so much. For him sitting and bathing in the sun in silence of chatting lazily was so _boring!_

Summer in general was infuriating for Kokichi. Most people were like this, lazing around and hanging out like all the time of the world had been gifted to them, like days were now suddenly composed of 78 hours. Sure, many people were also doing things, but in the hot weather everything was more tiring and sweating sucked a whole lot. Hence why Kokichi disliked summer. All this slow and lazy pace of everything was making him getting all frustrated and wanting to do things even more and faster, just to protest against all this. The result was Kokichi getting tired, short breathed and sweaty more than everyone else by the end of the day.

Summer sucked balls if you didn’t have company to share it with.

The beach huh? Going to the beach alone was not cute. And look at that coincidence! He was not alone, he had been invited by some random dude! Totally not because he was hoping to get a new client, nope. It was absolutely out of the goodness of his heart. And Kokichi had already eaten an ice cream today anyway.

That was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double release, next will be a double too :)


	18. 5th Playthrough

She led him to the paved path again and forward for a little while, then down some stairs.

The stairs, a new experience since there weren’t any at home, were quite a drag. She was leading him, sure, but he didn’t trust her as much as he probably was supposed to, so he was feeling each step with his foot before taking it. A simple staircase down to the beach, that was something people were taking an a daily basis in five seconds, ended up taking him more than five minutes to do. Once again he had the instinct of going down in his all four and spare the trouble to the both of them.

But at the end of it a prize was waiting. The soft consistency of the sand was nice under the sole of his shoes, so he sat down on the last step and took them off. It was somewhere around the end of the afternoon, by Kokichi’s calculations, but the sand was still hot, burning his skin. As he was getting used to the feeling he focused on the noise that people were making while doing things, which was as specific as he could get. They were people, and they were doing things, on the beach, that much was surely correct. The noise told him that it was not one of those super crowded beaches were you barely got a little square of space to use, it seemed to be a quieter place. Maybe the scenery was not that great, not that he would know. And admittedly it was not noon, maybe it was later than he was guessing.

He couldn’t help but wonder if it was the beach that guy mentioned or not. Maybe it was further down the seaside and Kokichi would never know. Which was not a problem, since he didn’t accept his invitation, so he owed him nothing! Especially considering that he could be Rantaro for all he knew, he had never really memorized his voice. After their first meeting he tried to forget him as best as he could, only to find him again some universes later, but by then he already knew better than to pay attention to him. It wasn’t Kaito, that much he knew for a fact, because no matter how much he didn’t try to memorize his voice, it was simply impossible to not distinguish it. And it wasn’t Shuichi. It could be anyone else. Well, he guessed it couldn’t be Shinguji, Gonta and Hoshi either, they had a way of speaking that was impossible to mix up. It could also be a stranger, it wasn’t like he was memorizing everyone. In fact he was only memorizing people his age that he was often meeting at school, adults were rarely on his radar.

…Better be safe than sorry.

“Is there a place where they sell ice cream on this beach somewhere?” he asked.

“Yes, there is one a little further on your right. Why, do you want another one?”

Definitely not, Kokichi had not even nearly digested the first one, in fact it was still very present thanks to his nausea.

“Are there any males working there at the moment?” statistically speaking it was almost a given, unless it was a really small or a girl-only place, males were always working everywhere.

“Yes, two.” she answered, always ready to be useful, but curiosity was still fresh in her mind. “Why?”

“Oh nothing, I was just wondering if there was any chance that you would find a boyfriend by the end of the day. Guys in swimsuit tend to be attractive, don’t they?” he said the first random nonsense sentence that came to his mind.

“I don’t think that’s very plausible.”

“Oh? Not even if I undress? Would I not look attractive in a swimsuit?” he was keeping up with the conversation with only half his brain, the other half was wondering if it was worth it to check that place out, or to try and feel the ocean with his feet.

“I’m sure you would look plenty attractive, but I’m already engaged, sorry.” the nonchalance she used made it difficult for Kokichi to understand if she was being serious of if she was just really bad with humor.

Not seeing the expression she was making wasn’t helping understand if she had taken his ‘flirt’ seriously or not. Kokichi wasn’t getting undressed anyway, since he didn’t have a swimsuit on, not certainly because of her. Being currently blind somehow was making him immune to the thought of being seen by others. Like if he couldn’t see then no one else could. For example he hadn’t brushed his hair in two days. It wasn’t like he could see the result, so why should someone else care?

“Well then. I’m going to feel around a little, you don’t have to follow, do whatever you want with your time.”

“I’m not sure this is a good idea, I shouldn’t leave you alone.” her tone sounded a little more urgent than before.

“I’ll stay in sight, I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry, I don’t need a leash and I won’t pee on anyone.”

“Well, that’s a relief.” she whispered under her breath. Kokichi smirked, she had some sense of humor then, it was just very hidden. “Don’t enter into the water though, you shouldn’t go alone and we don’t have anything to change into or to use to dry you off.”

“Yeah, yeah mom, thank you, I’m venturing into this terrifying landmine now, pray for my survival!” he waved a hand in her general direction and started to follow the sound of the waves.

Kokichi kicked some sands while walking, not too much because he didn’t want to fight with the people already at the beach but glad to feel the soft texture. He couldn’t feel any stone or foreign object, with was great. Kokichi had memories of going to the beach and stabbing his feet on random stuff, mostly wood, stones and small fragments of glass. The temperature of the sand wasn’t bothersome anymore, his feet had gotten used to it. He found the cool sand, wet by the ocean water and stopped. He crouched down and advanced a little like a kid would, placing his fingers on the ground and creating traces. When he felt the water touching his fingers, magnificently cold,  he stopped completely.

He had stopped creating drawings in the sand when he was seven years old, but today was a special day, he had come back to his childhood. He wasn’t sure what he was drawing, maybe it was a penis. He was thinking about drawing a penis so maybe his subconscious was fulfilling his role. Yeah, it was probably a penis. 

“I didn’t think you would really come!”

The voice, the same as last time, sounded right next to him. The guy had crouched down next to him in silence, his steps covered by the sound of the waves. Kokichi really should focus on his hearing a little better. The sudden presence by his side caused his body to jerk in scare, even if his mind had already reached the right answer, and he lost balance, falling on the sand wetting his pants. Nice, now it seemed that he had peed himself. He should go and tell this to the girl, he had been good after all, he peed himself, not people!

He returned his attention to the guy, and got a little annoyed with himself because he could feel some warmth on his cheeks. He really hoped he was not blushing because it could be taken the wrong way.

“I’m not here because of you. I just wanted to play by the beach a little. It was a decision of the last minute, so I don’t have a swimsuit. And guess what, I already ate an ice cream, so I don’t have any reason to interact with you, goodbye!” Kokichi got up and started to walk away with his head high.

This time he heard the guy getting up and follow.

“Hey wait. I don’t know what you have taken me for, but I’m not trying to scam you. I was being honest, I think you’ll have more fun here than sitting on that bench every day. To sit there or here, there is not much difference. You could keep me company.”

“Are you saying that you are lonely? Working on a beach parlor with so many people coming and going each day?” Kokichi was still walking even if he didn’t know where he was going. And he had promised the girl to remain nearby, he should go too far, he needed her as much as he disliked the idea. “Why does it have to be me? Why don’t you get yourself a girlfriend instead?”

Instead of answering he heard the dude gasping and a second later he felt his hand on his arm, stopping him from going forward.

“Hey, slow down! Be careful!”

Kokichi didn’t’ have the time to get irritated with him, a voice of an older woman sounded from in front of him.

“Can you guys watch where you are going? I was standing here first!”

“Yes, I know, sorry.” the hand dragged him aside and Kokichi left him do it.

He was about to really bump into people. It wasn’t shocking, but it was a little disturbing now that it almost actually happened. Kokichi was, secretly, hoping real hard that his luck would carry him through this day without him having to bump into anyone. But of course, his luck was never that great to begin with.

“… You should have let me bump into her.” he said, contrary to any logic and with not much conviction.

“Why is that? Do you enjoy the trouble? Or do you enjoy explaining everyone why you couldn’t see her there?”

“No, but that would have proven your point.”

“…I don’t need to have my point proven. Why is the girl not with you today? Or rather, why is she waiting down there instead of being here with you?” he asked, while he was also releasing his arm.

“I’m not a little kid, why is everyone so concerned with me bumping into stuff? I can walk ten meters by myself!” the contradiction of his statement, his condition and his attitude was quite obvious. “You are all trying to bore me to death!”

“Alright, sorry, I wasn’t trying to insult you. So what do you plan on doing to fight boredom?”

Kokichi paused mentally at the question. He hadn’t gotten that far yet into planning. Before being so rudely interrupted in his drawing occupation Kokichi didn’t have a plan for later. Explore the beach… but how to do so? With his hands, clearly, but since he didn’t know the layout of the beach there was the risk of him walking straight endlessly. He didn’t know if the beach was long or short, if it was stuck inside two walls or if it was just continuing for the whole coast. He just knew that the direction he had been walking on was toward his home, and the other direction could be anything.

“Hmmm…” he didn’t know how to ask for help, without sounding like he was asking for help. “What’s in front of me?”

The silence behind his back told him not only that he failed to sound independent and sure of himself, he also managed to confuse him on his intentions. Normally it would have been fun, confuse people was one of his favorite hobbies, but right now it managed just to frustrate him because he needed answers.

This was a new experience for him, not being able to decide. Normally he could decide if he wanted people to understand him or not, if he wanted to use them or not, in any case he could reach the same result by himself one way or another. Now he needed people to reach his objectives, and he wasn’t sure he liked it. If he didn’t manage to convey his needs well enough they wouldn’t understand and so they wouldn’t be able to help, which meant that he wouldn’t be able to progress. Kokichi had never learned how to ask for help properly. When he was a little kid he was feeling too out of place to bother people with his questions, and growing up he had always been too full of himself to bend to other people, unless he wanted to mock them or manipulate them. Now he had to ask for help in earnest, and his pride was not allowing him to.

“Err… in front of you, a little further ahead, there is the bank made of rocks, where the fishermen sit to fish.”

Kokichi snapped out of his mental ranting. So this portion of the beach was the start of the coast? There was nothing else beyond the bank or was there another beach past it?

“And past that?”

“A concrete wall, then the port. You can’t get to it from here, if you are interested.”

The way he made it sound was clear he was saying it just because he had asked. He didn’t think that Kokichi really wanted to go to the port, and he was right. Kokichi had no business in there.

“Okay, what’s in this direction?” Kokichi turned suddenly doing a cute pirouette and pointing where he supposed the guy was.

 “The beach where I work, and then other beaches down the line of the coast.”

This was the answer Kokichi was waiting for. Nice, now he had a clear layout of this place. This was the first beach, there was nothing in the direction of his house and the other beaches were on the other direction. If he cared to explore them, but he didn’t really care so whatever. He puffed his chest.

“I see!” he didn’t add anything else, any explanation, anything.

Even in silence the guy was able to express his confusion.

“Why, were you thinking about going some—“ for some reason he stopped himself. Kokichi turned his direction instinctively, to see if something had happened. Before Kokichi could give in to curiosity and prove he cared by asking directly why he had stopped, the guy started talking again. “What do you do usually on the beach?”

Kokichi couldn’t help but wonder. The first sentence had a sound much more genuine than the second one, like that was an instinctive and honest reaction, while the second one was more thought and planned out. It was obvious, considering the pause between the two sentences, but it wasn’t normal considering the discussion. What was the reason for stopping himself by asking a completely normal question just to override it with another boring, normal question. This wasn’t a discussion that needed much planning, unless there was something behind it.

“I dunno, what do you think I should do on the beach?” he threw the question back, simply because he didn’t know himself what this Kokichi was doing on the beach.

“Well, you said you have already eaten an ice cream… do you want something else?”

“Too close to dinner, I’m a good kid, I should not ruin my appetite!” he was just being difficult, considering the salad he had eaten for lunch he would love a sandwich.

 “Okay, something to drink? Do you want to build a sandcastle?” he seemed to already expect a negation to the first question so he proposed the second one without wait.

“Next you are going to propose we do friendship bracelets with seashells, right?” Kokichi crossed his arms on his chest. “What would you do if I ask for a mojito?”

“You are underage. But if you want to search for seashells I can keep you company.” he brushed off the request magnificently without hesitation, which impressed Kokichi.

This person was more intriguing than he was expecting. He seemed a scam at first, then a shady idiot, but now he was revealing himself as quite adaptable as well. Kokichi would have thought he was talking with Shuichi, if only he wasn’t positive he wasn’t him. The voice was too different, just like his cadence and wording. He had heard Shuichi talk this way only very rarely with people he considered inoffensive and mostly silly, like often Yumeno. However this was not the case, because he was actively keeping up a conversation. No, this couldn’t be Shuichi, Kokichi was absolutely certain. But playing with this guy could potentially be fun.

“Humph, I’m not so cheap that this much interaction is enough to become my friend! If you want to make a friendship bracelet with me then you should get a membership card and accumulate points until the platinum rank!”

“You are kind of… whimsical. You change your mind very frequently. Now you want to be my friend?”

This kind of role reversal made Kokichi furrow his lips in dissatisfaction. This guy shouldn’t get the wrong idea, Kokichi didn’t need him, he was just allowing him to entertain him.

“No, I’m allowing you to embarrass yourself trying to become my friend, it’s different. I have high standards.” he raised his chin up snobbishly.

“I figured that part out already. I feel like it will be a while before I get used to your way of thinking and behaving.” Kokichi could say the same thing, since his reasoning for doing what he was doing was unclear to say the least. “But I guess this is fine, I was the one to invite you after all.”

“Indeed, and do not forget it! I expect you to carry this thing through all on your own!”

“Yeah, okay, okay!” his voice was a chuckle.

Kokichi felt a little better. It had been a while since he was enjoying a little of human interaction. Not that he was ever going to get attached to this person, no matter who it was.


	19. 5th Playthrough

The next day Kokichi showed up at the beach with a swimsuit on, under his normal shorts.

The previous evening and the night went more or less like the first day, Kokichi explored a little the house again, but his ability to understand things with his fingers was reaching his premature end. After all he wasn’t supposed to understand everything like a person with sight, blind people were seeing the world in another, different, way. Kokichi had been born with sight though, so for him it was difficult in both ways. It was difficult for him to not be able to see the world in the way he knew, and it was difficult to learn how to see it any other way. He gave up, knowing that it wouldn’t do him any good anyway, and returned to his room. He had a lot to learn, specifically he needed to learn Braille before the next afternoon, in case she wanted to do more homework.

Kokichi didn’t seem to have a Braille table in his room, which was annoying, and so he was forced to learn the hard way. Kokichi had a bunch of books, all in Braille obviously. His only option there was to chose a small, short book and learn to read it a little at a time using logic, like solving a puzzle. It ended up being a very annoying job, at least until he found a book that was both really easy to read and quite famous: Little Red Riding Hood. Luckily Kokichi had memorized five letters for sure, at the start of the alphabet, while he had lost the rest as soon as he had left the house. Kokichi felt around the first page of three different books before finding this one. The pumps of the Braille were poking out of the page much more, and they were larger, bigger, it was like a kid’s book, with the letters very big, easy to read. Kokichi supposed this was one of the first books Kokichi had received and then kept growing up. It was a blessing he had.

He didn’t know what time it was when he finally went to sleep, but he felt much better about his reading ability. The second day of homework went better then the first, but it was still a drag. Kokichi successfully made it to a whole page of questions about biology before insisting on leaving again.

Kokichi had been wearing the swimsuit since that very morning, when he got out of bed. He had asked the caretaker to search it for him. But of course it wasn’t because he was eager to go, or because he was bored to death already of this quiet life since he had found an alternative, of course not. He simply didn’t want to get undress again, since he was already undressing to took off the pajama, might as well wear the swimsuit immediately.

Today Kokichi didn’t allow her to stop at the bench, or to buy him the ice cream, he didn’t want to stop again before reaching his last objective. Especially since he could get both the sitting break and ice cream on the beach with that guy. Speaking of that guy, Kokichi had mentally debated if he should ask him his name or not, and he had decided not to. By the same token, he had decided not to give him his. The reason was very simple; Kokichi was not searching for a true bond, just for company, entertainment and novelty. There was no reason to make it personal, in fact he should avoid it, as to keep the relationship clean and simple. Going with names, first or least it was all the same, was already giving to much importance to something that shouldn’t have any. But also speaking about the guy, he wondered if he was going to offer him at least the first ice cream. He better do so.

“Ouma-san, why are we here? Can I be informed of what’s happening please? You have been acting strange since yesterday.” the girl, of course, was a little behind on the events.

She asked for clarifications as he was dragging her by the arm forward instead of stopping by the bench. It was probably an interesting spectacle, seen from a neutral perspective, the blind kid that was dragging the guide. Kokichi didn’t really know what to do with her. Explain everything was the sensible thing to do, which of course meant that he wasn’t going to do it, but not saying anything was not really feasible. To be more specific, explain everything meant to tell her all about his boredom, curiosity and general restlessness, and he wasn’t sure she could understand that. Not explain meant to drag her everyday down here and then deal with her asking questions, or alternatively it meant to trick her everyday like he had done the previous day. Explain only the basic was the most obvious choice, but Kokichi wasn’t enthusiast about it. He was trying to play this strange game with this guy, she wasn’t included.

He had a feeling she wasn’t as amusing as he could potentially be.

“I’ve changed my mind about some things, in particular I don’t want to sit on that bench for a long while doing nothing. We are so close to the sea, why not take advantage of it?”

“But the problem, Ouma-san, is that you haven’t told me anything in advance. I don’t have any kind of beach gear with me or on me, I can’t follow you in the water. You know I can’t let you go alone, don’t you? Your parents would not be happy with such negligence.”

No one said anything about going into the water, but aside from that, he didn’t want her to accompany him. This was the reason why he wasn’t telling her most of things, he didn’t want her to interfere. How weird would it be for the three of them, three strangers, to play together on the beach? It was already strange what Kokichi was doing in general, but Kokichi was used to do strange things, but with the girl observing them like a babysitter in a swimsuit? Yeah, right.

“Don’t worry, I’m meeting someone, I won’t be alone. You can sit somewhere and wait for me to come back.” like a good mommy, he almost wanted to say.

“…Who is this person?” she sounded very surprised.

Understandable, she was always with him, she should know any friend of his and he didn’t have much other opportunities to meet people without her, he was assuming. Not to mention he was ‘weak’ and ‘to be protected’ so it was obvious she would get more suspicious. It wasn’t like Kokichi himself had not thought he wanted to take advantage of him, he was still thinking there had to be some aspect of that in the deal. And Kokichi didn’t even know his name, age or general appearance.

“He is working at the beach, I’m going to eat his ice cream from now on and then we are going to play like good kids. Aren’t you happy that I made a little friend? It’s like with kids in kindergarten, you should be proud of me, mom!” he wasn’t his friend, but that was too big a topic to open.

“I… see? When have you met him, how long have you known him, why—“

Kokichi wasn’t going to answer any question, and they were already at the beach anyway. He released her arm and descended the stairs by himself, carefully but with haste, then he quickly took off his shoes leaving her behind. She was still asking things, having the ability to walk faster than him she wasn’t allowing him to lose her, but Kokichi tuned off the noise in his brain. He didn’t wait for his feet to get used to the hot sand this time, he just strode forward in a pace that was just a little short of a run. He wasn’t even sure where the ice cream shop was, so he hoped that someone was going to direct him sooner rather than later.

“Oh, you are here. It’s earlier than yesterday. I honestly wasn’t sure you would show up, I’m positively surprised, what—“

“Hello, nice to meet you.” the voice of the girl. “I don’t think that we have been introduced, I’m—“

“My babysitter.” Kokichi wasn’t going to wait for the two to know each other, they weren’t the point here, Kokichi and his fun were the point. “Yes, he already has seen you accompany me around.” he said to her. “Let’s ignore her and give me my ice cream.” he said to him.

There was a moment of confused, and potentially offended, silence before the guy took the initiative, since he had asked for his services it was only a given. He showed the way to one of the tables, Kokichi followed him by listening to his steps carefully. The girl was following them as well, in complete silence but with determinate steps. It seemed she had taken really offence to this and now he was going to stick around precisely out of spite.

“Just to be clear, you are paying for the ice cream.” Kokichi clarified after sitting and declaring his preferences.

“Yeah yeah…” the guy seemed to have already expected this to happen.

Smart boy.

Kokichi heard the chair to his right being dragged a little on the floor and then again toward the table, telling him that the girl had joined. He ignored her. He didn’t have anything in particular against her, simply this was not her game and she should just remain in the background.  A few seconds later the guy returned and took his hand to show him the place where the ice cream was on the table. He had brought him an ice cream inside a paper cup, which was nice because Kokichi would melt the ice cream all over him, but it was a pity for the wafer.

“You came a little earlier than I expected, right now I have work to do, there are too many people around. Wait here a little okay? I’ll play with you as soon as I’m not tied up anymore.”

Kokichi pursed his lips a little, even if he had heard his steps leaving him so he didn’t even see, and ate his ice cream pouting like a little kid. He hadn’t said anything that Kokichi couldn’t predict, so he wasn’t really pouting, he was just staying busy by keeping up the vibe. How boring it was to eat ice cream, as a blind person, with a neutral face? Incredibly. At the very least he could spend his time thinking senseless abandonment syndrome stuff. The girl was a solid wall of silence and ostentatious indifference. Oh well, no one was going to run after her.

As he was eating he listened to everything that was happening around him, training his ability to listen to multiple conversations at once. He heard the voice of the guy multiple times, taking orders and giving food to people all around him at the other tables. As far as he could tell, he wasn’t the only waiters around, he heard the voice of another guy which was much softer and difficult to listen to since he wasn’t talking to him. There also was a girl at the counter, handing out takeaways. Kokichi wasn’t able to quantify time in any way, and wasn’t about to ask the girl, so he waited and waited, even after the ice cream was finished he still waited. He could leave and if the guy had some complains Kokichi could be an ass and tell him that he shouldn’t make a ‘friend’ wait and that he had just detracted ten points from his membership card. He could, but he didn’t feel like it. Normally anyone that was not Shuichi was getting this treatment, but right now Kokichi was pretending that Shuichi didn’t exists so it was all good.

Actually, where _the hell_ was Shuichi?

The fact that he hadn’t appeared yet was mildly concerning, and Kokichi hadn’t failed to notice it even as he was trying to block his existence from his mind.

“There we go, I’m done for now, my colleague is going to take care of the rest until the end of my shift.” finally the guy appeared again next to his table.

“Oh, wait who are you again? I was trying to achieve ascension by meditating, I don’t remember you, mortal.” Kokichi raised an eyebrow.

“Ah, well I guess I’ll leave you alone then, have fun.” he said, sarcastically.

Kokichi got on his feet and tossed away his t-shirt, but waited before also tossing his shorts, and started to walk toward the sea.

“Then I guess I’ll go alone and die of drowning. You’ll have to explain why to my parents.” 

“Are we going to swim? Can you?” the guy was obviously following right behind him.

“I can float, can’t guarantee I can swim straight or in any direction at all.”

“Make sense I guess.” the voice had a smile in it. “Slow down and let’s do this properly. I can feel the eyes of your friend on my back, she is going to murder me if I allow you to drown. She is following us, by the way. Is she going to swim with us?” now he sounded a little scared.

Kokichi wondered what kind of face was she making to scare a fully grown guy like this one. Well, Kokichi didn’t know this guy’s age, but he had to be at the very least eighteen. Kokichi was seventeen, and he really could not think that he was younger. Actually, now that Kokichi was thinking about it, his ‘agreed’ birthday was on June, so he was going to be eighteen soon. He didn’t know how to feel about that. It wasn’t really changing anything, he was still the same exact person even with one more year, but he was getting strangely close to become an adult. What was going to happen after the end of the school period? Was Kokichi going to jump from one work to the next? That didn’t sound like something fun at all. He was already having trouble keeping up with the many subjects he was forced to take in the different schools, works was exponentially worst for sure. And Shuichi… No, he didn’t want to think about him.

Thinking about his future he suddenly felt tired and a little depressed again.

“Hey, are you okay?”

A hand was rested on Kokichi’s shoulder and he winced. He got a little mad at himself for this reaction but it couldn’t be helped, not seeing the hand coming was a pretty inevitable thing. And there was the naked skin involved also to consider. The hand was warm, not unpleasant at all, but it was still foreign on his slightly cooler skin. Kokichi had never been a very warm person, his small frame wasn’t that of a vital, energized human being, he was always gifted with a bad circulatory system and general metabolism. He wasn’t unhealthy, it wasn’t like he couldn’t be as active as the next person, but he was never overflowing with energy, hot and uncaring of the environmental condition. He was getting sick at least thrice a year during winter, he loved to have gloves on his hands and needed to be dressed properly if he didn’t want to shiver in the wind like an idiot. Anyone and everyone were warmer than him. Kokichi was secretly daydreaming about how nice would it be to sleep cuddling with someone.

“Ah sorry…” the guy retracted his hand after noticing that Kokichi had been taken by surprise. “I’m not trying to be rude, it’s understandable that you don’t want to be touched, I’ll keep it in mind.”

“No, actually that would be a problem, I need you to direct me and using the voice is too big of a pain. Just be careful of where you touch, I’m perfectly capable of biting your hand off if I find it reasonable.”

“Is there a reasonable moment to bite a hand off someone?” he asked, jokingly.

“Yes, when they try to get frisky with me without my consent. If we have to, at least do me the courtesy of allowing me to pick someone that meet my minimum requirements.”

“Is there a membership card for that as well? Do you need points for that too?”

“And believe me or not, each groping costs fifty points, ten additional for each second after I say ‘yeah, that’s enough’. A kiss is five hundred, so you need to set priorities. You may want to save up for more ‘advanced’ stuff.” Kokichi waved a hand casually.

“I don’t want to know what comes after that.”

“Yeah me neither. Don’t force me to come up with something.” The guy chuckled. “No one ever earned enough points for the groping anyway, so I wouldn’t bother if I were you.”

“You may want to undress if you want to swim.”

“Wow, excuse me!” Kokichi pretended to be scandalized. “We _just_ finished talking about points requirements and you already want to see me naked? Shameless!”

“Okay, then swim in your clothes, suit yourself.” Kokichi heard him pass him toward the beach.

If he had had sight, Kokichi would have imagined seeing a Shuichi shrugging. This one sentence was so him that for a moment his heart was grasped by an invisible fist of nostalgia. It didn’t leave him a good feeling, quite the opposite. This needed to stop.

Kokichi tossed his shorts, sure that the girl was picking up all the items he was leaving behind, and followed the sound of the waves and of his steps. He felt the sea water on his feet suddenly, and the cold sensation had him wince again a little bit. The sound of the steps had disappeared, which was telling Kokichi that the guy had stopped to wait for him. Kokichi took another three steps and the waves started to hit his calves, each time leaving him all shivering and full of goosebumps. He would get used to it eventually, but it would take some time, especially since he was forced to move forward a little at a time. Kokichi had, subconsciously, raised his arms to keep his balance against the strength of the waves and a hand took his. Kokichi’s breath paused a moment, surprised, but then he felt grateful, even if he wouldn’t admit it. The warmth of his hand was making him feel much more protected than he was excepting. Maybe he had underestimated this thing a little bit.

Kokichi didn’t thank him, but the guy didn’t take his hand back, he waited in silence for Kokichi to adjust. Since the water was confusing the shapes and raising the sand each time even with his sight Kokichi couldn’t see potential rocks under the sand that could hurt his feet, so this wasn’t as unexpected, but he ended up being more careful than ever, placing each feet down slowly. He passed the point of breaking that the waves had, which was almost always the same unless the conditions of the sea were changing, and reached the more leveled point, where the calm sea was raising and descending only some inches each time. The water was at the level of his ribcage before his feet started to lose contact with the sandy bottom.

During all this operation he was so focused, clasping hard the hand, that he had forgotten that everyone else could see him. Everyone could see him struggle and look all tense. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was just the sea, he shouldn’t be having this much trouble and worry. His pride worsened his mood significantly, he almost wanted to go back and maybe never return. Shame was not something Kokichi was good at handling.

“You okay?” it was almost a whisper.

He must have read something in Kokichi’s tense expression.

“Do I look like someone that’s not okay? Are you sure you are not the blind one here?” he answered, with a little too much spite to pass as a joke.

“Actually yes. You don’t need to force yourself, you know? We can just go back and sit on the—“

Kokichi’s patience, or maybe his ego, rebelled against him and he slapped his hand away from the grasp. He moved forward alone, when his feet couldn’t touch the bottom anymore he moved his arms in an half freestyle stroke. He wasn’t moving decisively since he couldn’t see where he was going, which meant that he wasn’t really horizontal, he was just splashing around confusedly. He wasn’t even sure he was moving forward, maybe he was moving still on the spot. He stopped, because he wasn’t that far off not to know that he was not doing something meaningful, but then something strange happened.

He knew which way was the beach on a logical level, since he had not turned around, just moved in something of a straight line, but also he was surrounded by water, he couldn’t see anything, touch the bottom, or even know which way to go. If by mistake, for any reason, he had turned at some point and hadn’t noticed how could he return back with his feet firmly on the ground? He obviously needed to ask the guy to save him, but if he had been alone? If he was on land sooner or later, one way or another, he would be able to reach something familiar, or even stop and rest, in the water it was very different. He could easily die of exhaustion once he was lost. Again, he knew where the beach was, he wasn’t lost, but that realization was enough to make him feel wronged somehow. He thought he was getting the hang of this situation, but now he felt sent back at the start, against an obstacle that he couldn’t surpass alone no matter what. He felt angry, at the guy for making him think that he could swim and at himself, for falling into this trap. Had he done it on purpose, to make him feel this way?

A small part of his brain was telling him that he was being overly dramatic, that everything was fine and that he was seeing too much into things, but he refused to hear it, because he wanted to feel angry. It was relieving to be angry freely as he wanted, he felt like he deserved to be. So he didn’t move anymore, he ignored the waves that were making him float up and down and his hair that were glued to his face. He was just staying afloat, tense and angry, feeling a little humiliated for no reason. He felt like he wanted to cry again, and he wanted to jump away, tired of all this already. But it wasn’t true, it wasn’t this one place or his current condition the problem, he knew. He wasn’t angry for any of this, he was angry in general, because nothing was ever going right for him.

What had he done to deserve any of this?

When arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer and holding him safely into place he realized he was trembling. He hadn’t noticed, he was so out of it that he hadn’t felt his body becoming cold and contracted. Suddenly it was like the water had become warmer than him, while the arms were definitely hot, and so was the chest he was pressed against.

Kokichi’s mind was empty, he could only focus on the sensations of his body and nothing else.

He couldn’t remember the last time, if ever, he had been hugged this way. Naked? No, probably not. With his clothes on, sure. The guy didn’t say anything, so Kokichi didn’t say anything either. One hand was pressed on his back, in between his shoulder blades, the other was on his neck, a couple of fingers were caressing his hair, to comfort and calm him. He felt shorter and more thin that Kokichi was expecting, he had been persuaded that this guy had to be bigger than him by a bit, but it seemed he thought wrong. Any other moment Kokichi would have pushed him away and verbally attacked him, because he hated to be patronized when it wasn’t Kokichi that was doing it first. Pity and Kokichi were not the best of friends. But this time he didn’t do anything, he hadn’t even thought about what was this scene like, from an external prospective, or that he didn’t know this person at all so he shouldn’t allow him to touch him. No, what Kokichi’s mind formed, very slowly, was another thought entirely.

It was nice to be cared for by someone, every once in a while.


	20. 5th Playthrough

The guy spoke only after letting him go, which happened a little while later.

Kokichi hadn’t done anything, for once he had just waited still and silent for the other to decide and act. Kokichi was a little puzzled by his choice to keep him in his arms for that long, but he discovered himself to be uninterested about the reason, what if he was a little infatuated with Kokichi? It wasn’t a real problem, he just had terrible taste to like him. It was news to him, that someone could like him before he could like them, but he discovered himself much more calm and distant than he expected. He wasn’t particularly bothered, disgusted, pleased, excited, or anything. It was just… _a thing._ If anything he was a little curious to be on the receiving end of once. Not be the one to chase, to be chased instead.

He could get used to that. He could take advantage of that to feel better with himself.

If the guy had such terrible taste, then it wasn’t Kokichi’s problem. It was his fault for not realizing that Kokichi was not someone you could have a good time with so easily. He was searching for trouble, and Kokichi wasn’t going to spare him any.

All this _if_ he was infatuated with him.

There was the possibility that he was simply a fool, trying to be friend with him and being really weird about it. Or maybe he wasn’t mentally sane, maybe he was a little sick. Or he was a perv, and he was trying to get an eyeful of him in a swimsuit, and now he even got a taste of the skin. If he had his sight he would take a look to see the situation in the lower half, to see if anything was poking. Well, actually his infatuation hypothesis wasn’t excluding any of the other options, if anything some of them were blending together very well. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but surely it sounded something that his luck would come up with, to have some sick perv lusting for him when he couldn’t even see it was happening.

“Have you calmed down a little?” the guy asked, he sounded gentle, but how could Kokichi know if he was actually sounding turned on? Gently turned on. Yeah, maybe. “I think we should go back to the shore right now. Let’s worry about swimming another day.”

Kokichi wasn’t going to disagree, not this time. It was Kokichi who grabbed the guy’s arm, letting himself be guided the right direction. When his feet touched the bottom again he felt instantly better, but he carefully avoided showing. Instead he brushed his wet hair away from his face, trying to look completely unconcerned about anything.

“Just to clarify; I was a little out of practice, that’s all. I didn’t need you to save me and I’m considering how many points that little display earlier will cost you. You got a taste of my skin, I’m not going to forget it, I’ll have you pay for it.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. I was really counting on you giving me a free trial run. I wanted a taste before buying anything too unaffordable.”

“Hey, you are getting to see me half-naked, what’s there not to like already? I’m clearly beautiful, that’s more than enough as a trial run!” they were out of the wave break point and as soon as he regained his balance Kokichi puffed his scrawny chest to show it off. He ignored the fact that him being still grasping his arm was making him looking incredibly pathetic. What was there not to like indeed. “Aren’t you feeling yourself falling in love with me already? Not to be modest but… I’m a catch.” he nodded to himself twice.

A stifled laugh was heard and Kokichi in his heart couldn’t really blame him. Kokichi would do the same in his position. But that made him feel a little better with himself. He didn’t want to see him being nicer to him because of pity. Ant it was also nice to notice that he hadn’t showed any kind of stopping point to Kokichi’s insinuations either, then he was right. The guy was a perv. Good to know.

It never ceased to amaze Kokichi just how fast humans were adapting to new situations, and he was one to know. The first time he had been touched by the guy on his naked skin it had been quite uncomfortable while also comforting, but soon it became normal. Contrary to the guy’s worry, that Kokichi had taken a scare and didn’t want to spend time with him again, Kokichi showed himself back the next day and the day after and all the days after that, excluding the two days the guy wasn’t working. Not every day they were trying to swim, in fact these times were few and with many days in between, but they were always find something to do. Creating a sand castle was one of those, and Kokichi easily justified this childish behavior by saying that he needed to hone his ability to create shapes with his hands alone. Not that Kokichi had any problem with childish activities, he liked them when he was in the mood, but he wouldn’t want to make it easy for him. Following this trend the guy proposed as an alternative a game of finding the correct stuff hidden in the sand. One day they would gather only tiny twigs and pieces of wood, on day glass shards that had been polished by the sea to be nice to the touch. Kokichi couldn’t imagine how these things would entertain someone with sight, he had seen people play this game only with children of five years and below, so the game was mostly for Kokichi’s sake. Oh, of course it was a competition to see who could find the most, but there was no question who would win every single round if played fair. The fact that Kokichi was winning every once in a while, told him that the guy was a good liar if he wanted to be. Not that Kokichi was going to thank him.

Climbing up the rocks was a dangerous activity for Kokichi, but that didn’t discourage him. He was led by the arms every single step, and he refused to feel ashamed about it, it was easy, he was telling himself he was forcing this activity with the precise intent of making life harder for the guy. He was still waiting for the day he would tell him to fuck off. That day had to come, Kokichi was being the most obvious burden he could be, and he was being on purpose, surely he realized. In the meantime his arms and hands had become completely familiar, Kokichi had grabbed them in every possible place and from every possible angulations. His chest, back and shoulders were only a vague feeling for him, sometimes he would miss the arms and end up in one of those places, but Kokichi never touched intentionally. Everything past the waist area was unknown territory. The guy could have four legs for all he knew. Not three, three he had for sure, considering he was a perv.

If asked, Kokichi wouldn’t know what to answer, whether he was getting attached to him or not. The guy was witty, often but not always, interesting, sometimes but not often, gentle, too often, and generally stubborn. Also he could be of very few words if he wanted, sometimes they would spend a lot of time together in silence. If not for the sounds of his movements Kokichi would think he was alone. It was a strange combination, not a bad one, but he was no Shuichi. Two months after his jump, he still had not met him. Kokichi had closed every thought about him in a box at the very back of his mind, and he wasn’t allowing himself to think or feel anything, or else he may explode for real. He refused to examine whether he was feeling relieved, scared, mad or happy about it, so he honestly didn’t know. Funnily enough, this was corresponding to his inability to decide how he felt about the guy. It was like he had shut in the box together with the entity called Shuichi also his ability to feel something more complex than the very basic human feelings.

And the guy was still without a name.

Kokichi never asked, the guy never said, he didn’t ask for Kokichi’s name either. He knew his last name for sure, he couldn’t not know when the girl was calling him Ouma-san this and Ouma-san that every thirty minutes. She developed the habit of bringing a book with her, to pass time, but it never stopped her from asking: “Ouma-san, do you need sunscreen?” or “Ouma-san, are you sure you don’t want to dry your hair?”. To be completely fair, she had points. Once Kokichi didn’t dry his hair and he got a light cold because of the chill wind, while one other day the he and the guy had walked through the docks of the port for two hours and Kokichi got a terrible sunburn on his back.

Surprisingly it was only after two whole months that the guy asked a pretty obvious question.

“What’s that strange number on your back? I mean,” he immediately correct himself, “it’s a really strange tattoo, what does it means?”

It was something like a slap at first. His lack of sight made impossible for him to see it, and so he had forgot all about it. Only then he remembered he was in a swimsuit, of course it was showing, the guy probably saw it day one and never mentioned it. Had the number ever changed? To think he had to rely on his words was a little concerning.

“Since I was made in a factory that's my serial number. They said to call them if I was defective, but guess what, my parents are such airheaded that they forgot and my assurance of guarantee has expired!” Kokichi shoved away the question in a way that made clear he didn’t want to talk about it. “It’s also a magic number, you know? It likes to change! Maybe is not my real serial number, maybe they printed the expiring date on my back, maybe that’s how many days I have left to live!” he concluded with dark humor.

“Well, that doesn’t strike me as plausible. How many day are you going to have twelve days left?”

He sounded nonchalant, but Kokichi’s heart almost stopped. Twelve…? Barely any more than ten numbers were left. Left _to_ what or _until_ what he didn’t know. He just knew that he wasn’t feeling good all of a sudden. Without his sight his head spinning shouldn’t be that much of a problem, since he couldn’t see anything spinning, but in reality it was the opposite. Not knowing where the ground was, if not for his hands and legs that were resting on the sand, the spinning made him immediately lose any possible sense of direction, and he felt himself wobble, his balance had decided to run away from him as well as the good mood he had until that moment.

“Oi!” the guy grabbed his arms and raised his upper half like it was nothing. Well, Kokichi didn’t weight much of anything so it wasn’t that strange. His stomach was curling up on itself, nauseous, and Kokichi was too busy trying to suppress it to notice the next maneuvering. “Do you have an heatstroke? Do you need to be in the shadow? Lie down.” only when it was done Kokichi noticed what he was doing, in the meantime he was already onto the next thing. “I’m sorry, do you mind grabbing an umbrella?” when Kokichi heard the girl agree and her steps on the sand Kokichi realized he was talking to her. “Lie down.” he repeated, gently.

Kokichi had been turned on his back, and now he was lying face up on the sand, his head rested on something definitely more firm. He didn’t need to be a genius to understand that he was resting his head in the guy’s laps. Kokichi couldn’t muster the energy to care. As the spinning of his head stopped his body started to develop cold sweat all over, the effect amplified when finally the girl returned with the umbrella. When she opened it Kokichi felt on his overly sensitive naked skin the drop in temperature, where the sun was not kissing him anymore. Soon he started to shiver slightly, cold and dump. Kokichi felt a little humiliated as he covered his face with one arm and sighed. It was like he had suddenly developed a nasty stomach bug. 

It took a few minutes for Kokichi to return back to normal, and everyone was waiting for him in silence. His head had also gotten used to resting on his laps, that had became more comfortable with each minute. Every once in a while the guy, probably, hopefully it was him, was brushing his hair back which wasn’t half bad and managed to distract him. Many things could be said about Kokichi, he had many secrets, but one thing he was never admitting to anyone, himself included, was that he fucking _loved_ to be pampered and even worshipped. Since he knew he was never going to get that from Shu—anyone else, he was okay with receiving it from this perv. They were both enjoying themselves, in secret from one another, what could be better?

Kokichi hadn’t be able to take his numbers off his head the whole evening, even after he returned home and then hid himself in his room. No matter how hard he was trying to shove the thought out of his head the only thing he could do was getting frustrated with himself. He rubbed the skin of his back where he knew the numbers were printed multiple times, like he could feel them with his fingers. It wasn’t fair, why he had to be thrust into this madness, with superpowers and whatnot, and then he couldn’t even get a fucking manual? _What_ was that shit on his back and why was it decreasing so fast? He didn’t want to die, he didn’t want to lose his power, he didn’t want to have this power, he didn’t want to feel caged.

He never asked for all of this, so why was it making him feel so hopeless?

When feeling threatened by something, anything, Kokichi’s natural answer was to take revenge on anything that was surrounding him. How he was taking revenge varied a lot from situation to situation, normally it was by making everyone else feel miserable, but this time it was something else. He had enjoyed being pampered physically by that dude, so why not replicate the experience, as much as possible and more intensively as well? The guy surely would appreciate anyway, being a perv, and if even he was being led astray, thinking that he could get from Kokichi more than he was willing to give… it wasn’t his problem. Kokichi never promised him his virginity or anything else.

The next few days became an ‘all you can touch’ feast. Kokichi would sit on his lap to eat, glue their arms by standing side by side, resting his chin on the guy’s shoulder from behind pretending that he was tired, sitting on his opposite side resting his back against his and using him as every kind of resting spot ever. The guy was obviously confused at first, and he tried not once but thrice to get away from Kokichi, not that he allowed him to. It was all his fault anyway, somehow, so he deserved all this. And he got used to it fast enough to confirm his theory, about him being a perv, so everything was fine!

Even if it wasn’t it was okay, because Kokichi was an evil bastard and everyone else was insignificant.

The complete lack of logic of the situation was piling up each day, he had reached a point where he himself didn’t understand what he was doing or what he wanted anymore. He was just going with the flow, and it wasn’t nearly as fun as he had hoped. He was jumping from moments where he was happy and amused, to others where he was lost like a hopeless child. Everyone else were maybe more limited than him, hadn’t seen as much as he had, but at least they looked much more in control of their life than him.

The only thing Kokichi could do was force the guy to spoil him at every cost, because Kokichi wasn’t sure what he would do if he left as well. So each swimming lesson was a good excuse to grope him a little bit more than last time, to secretly feel his heartbeat and to test his patience at the same time. Searching for shells or shards of glass was a nice excuse to bump into him and pretend he needed to be stabilized. Resting was a good moment to use him to warm up, like a human heater.

Maybe, all things considered, it was Kokichi that was a perv.

When his parents, one day, mentioned that summer vacation was going to end soon Kokichi felt his organs constrict and then protest with a stomachache. He hadn’t thought about it, but as soon as school was going to start, or the beach season was ending, he couldn’t see the guy anymore. His strange bubble repeal-anxiety-while-secretly-causing-more was going to pop. What was there left for him in this place? He wasn’t going to school like this, blind. Not even in a million years, there was probably Shu—the others there, in wait for him. Waiting to see this pathetic side of him, and he wasn’t ready to confront any of that.

Like many things lately, he shoved that thought away.

That day he almost ran away from home, immediately after lunch he didn’t wait for the girl to show up, and as soon as the caretaker left him alone with the plants and left to sneak out of the house. By this point he knew at the very least the layout of the garden perfectly in his mind, and also the way to the beach. He didn’t know for sure what he was doing, he was following some kind of instinctive urge, an urge to make more problem for everyone else. If he showed up sooner than expected, the guy would still be working and Kokichi would be a bother, that was mostly his reasoning. He probably just wanted to push his frustration on him.

He reached the beach but didn’t make his presence known immediately, he sneaked around until he was at the back of the kitchen area of the shop. He wanted to hear him talk to the clients a little, before jumping out of the corner and interrupt his workflow. He listened and listened but couldn’t pick his voice. Sure, there were a lot of male voices around, so maybe he was just mixing them up, but something told him he wasn’t around. Strange, today wasn’t his day off. Kokichi almost fell on his butt when a voice addressed him from the corner.

“Hey there! It’s you again! Are you searching for Idabashi?” it was a female voice.

It took a while before his brain found the most logical answer to the situation. Idabashi… was it the guy’s name? Where he had already heard this name…? Surely in some other universe. Then he wasn’t a ‘new entry’ he was someone he met before… well not surprising to be honest. But for the life of him he could not place where and when he had heard his name. Oh well, it meant he wasn’t anyone that made his life hell some other time. And this girl was the one that was working at the counter, handing out the food. She probably noticed the two hanging out and when she saw him she thought she could speak with him.

“Yeah, I wanted to surprise my beloved, do you know where he is?” he rolled with it.

“He is down there,” she took one of Kokichi’s hands and raised one of his fingers to use to point one specific direction on Kokichi’s right, “he is taking a little break with his friend, they will be back sooner or later anyway, you came earlier than usual today.”

Kokichi didn’t want to explain, so he thanked her cheerfully and followed the direction of the finger she pointed. In his experience Kokichi knew that in that direction there was the end of this beach, and the start of the next, he wondered where was he hidden. He was also with someone else, so he should be careful. He didn’t want to be forced to interact with another stranger, one was enough. Kokichi found the wall and followed it, walking slowly to not make himself too obvious. He started to hear voices.

“Are you sure about this? I think we are exaggerating a little.”


	21. 5th Playthrough

No answer, Idabashi sighed.

“No seriously, I wasn’t sure about this from the start, but right now I really worry. That kid looks like he would be happier if you were upfront and confronted—“ he stopped himself.

Silence again. Kokichi was starting to get confused.

“I don’t know why are you doing this, I really don’t. No, you can’t expect me to be silent forever, your plan depends very much on me, you need me. I want—“

Who was he talking to? To himself? No, but Kokichi couldn’t hear any other voice…

“But why? Just why? At first I trusted you, I thought you had a good reason, but now I’m not so sure. It’s like you are playing some game. It’s not fair, not against him, not like this. You are going to hurt him in the end, what did he do to deserve this? No, scratch that, no matter what he did, this is just cruel. Tell him now, before it’s too late.”

Another moment of silence. Kokichi’s blood had gone cold, his mind lucid. He wasn’t feeling any particular emotion at the moment.

“Then I don’t understand, I really don’t. I don’t think I will play this game with you anymore. That kid doesn’t deserve to be toyed with like this.”

Kokichi heard steps in the sand and made sure to make himself as still as possible. It wasn’t the best moment to be discovered. No one spoke to him, and the steps became distant, so he started to breathe again. Wrong moment, just a few seconds later another set of steps was heard and Kokichi stilled again. The guy’s company was leaving as well, whoever he was. He waited again a few moments until he could heard only the ocean.

Well, someone was playing with him, and that someone was not this ‘Idabashi’ dude, but someone else. Kokichi shook his head, shoving the thought away.

It could join every other problem he didn’t want to be bothered by.

He made sure to leave the beach and come back a little later, like nothing happened. If the girl at the counter told Idabashi that he was searching for him earlier he didn’t mentioned it. The other girl, his escort, arrived running a little while later, while Kokichi and the guy were playing in the sand. She said his caretaker had called her in tears, that he had run away from home in secret and that she was going to get fired. But his escort told her she knew where he could be, and indeed she found him where she thought she would. Kokichi apologized, vaguely, and then ignored her. She picked up on his mood and dropped it. Kokichi knew he would have to confront her later.

That day the guy never touched him, or if he did it was just a hand rested somewhere to help for a few seconds. His mood was also different, it seemed like suddenly he wasn’t capable of be silent anymore, he was constantly talking. Also, it could be because of him talking so much, but the manner of speaking and the actual topics were less brilliant than usual. He seemed in a hurry, or maybe distracted.

That day had started wrong and it just didn’t want to get any better.

When he dressed back, in silence and feeling disappointed, the guy seemed to want to tell him something, but Kokichi was not interested, he pretended not to notice. He smiled with fake cheerfulness, waved his hand in his general direction and left with the girl.

They walked in silence for a while, Kokichi refused to let her take his arm. After a little while Kokichi’s patience, that today was everything but vast, ran out and he touched the subject that was hanging in the air himself.

“Well?” he asked, sounding aggressive even to his own ears.

“No, not ‘well’. You are not in the right, you shouldn’t have ran away. Everyone was going to get incredibly worried about you, why are you acting like this?” she answered, not intimidated at all.

“If we are counting honesty… then what about you? I don’t remember you telling me about being two people on the beach. And let me guess, the one that was playing with me most of the time, in silence, was not the one that was doing the speaking, correct?”

There was a short silence.

“So you know about it, how long have you known?”

“Does it matter? It’s still a true fact, time doesn’t make it any less real.”

“No, you are right. In my defense, I want to say that I thought it was weird, but there didn’t seem to be any particular problem. At first. I thought you knew. Then I started to suspect it, and when I decided to tell you I was stopped. He looks so small and harmless, but when he wants he can be quite ruthless and he has an evil sparkle in his eyes sometimes."

“How were they tricking me? I never noticed there were two, how were they working together to seem one?” he didn’t want to ask who ‘he’ was just yet.

“Well, the guy with white hair was the one doing the talking, but he was keeping some distance from you, and he was reading what to say from the other guy’s notebook most of the time. The other one was writing, remaining silent on the sidelines until he approached you directly. You barely ever touched the white hair guy, it was all the other one’s doing. During the moments of long silence it was because the white hair guy returned to the clients and left you alone with the other. That was the reason for the silence.”

Guy with white hair, Idabashi. Ah, then it had been Kiibo all along.

“Okay, very interesting,” no, it actually wasn’t, he was too annoyed to be impressed, “but why go to this length? For what reason?”

“I don’t know. He is not mute, I’ve heard him talk, so my best assumption would be that he didn’t want you to hear his voice. He probably thought you would recognize him. For you it’s easier to recognize someone by the voice, not the touch.”

“Indubitably. Then who is he supposed to be that he doesn’t want to be recognized?” he already knew the answer, but he didn’t know _why._

Why would he do this? He always ignored him, or worst, to actively seeking him out… for the first time…

“I don’t know. I really don’t know him.”

Kokichi sighed in frustration, at this point…

“Can you describe him? Physically?”

“How would you—“

“Just do it.”

The girl remained silent for a moment, in disbelief.

“He is… small, barely any taller than you, light eyes and black hair. He doesn’t look especially impressive from a distance, but if you look at him in the eyes you can see something swirl in there. Something hard and sharp, it isn’t simply intelligence… it’s also trust in himself and determination. I don’t know who he is, and I don’t know who he thinks he is… but there is something strange in him.”

Kokichi stopped walking and leaned against the handrail exhaling in exhaustion.

So this was how it was. Kokichi ran after him for years, to hell and back, and he never gave him the time of the day. Now that Kokichi had decided, fighting against himself and his worries, to try and ignore his existence for a while, _he_ was the one following after him.

What was the fairness in that? Was this some kind of fucking karma?

_Why._

Just why.

What changed? Kokichi was blind, but he wasn’t one for pity. There was no use in getting this Kokichi in his circle of friends, at least no use that Kokichi could fathom. It could be some way of getting someone else to think better of him… but then he wouldn't involve Kiibo, and he wouldn’t risk losing him. The conversation they had earlier wasn’t all that friendly and happy. No, whatever he was doing, it was important enough that he was letting his inner self show. His determination at _‘cheating this game of life’_ the hell that ever meant. Kokichi didn’t know. He was using it for his superpower, because it sounded cool, but far from him understand what he meant by it.

Was life fun, for him? But he didn’t want trouble, he was playing to make himself have an easy time. A life cheater.

His strategy was not one that Kokichi liked, why cheat to play boring? If you have to cheat, do it to play fun! But at the very least it was making sense, up until that point. This move, on the other hand, didn’t make any sense at all. In this situation Kokichi was not going to help make his life easier, if anything the opposite. Why change direction suddenly?

It was almost like the world was screwing with him. It was like it wasn’t even something that he was deciding, more like a direct reaction of Kokichi’s actions and interest.

The world was acting like one of these crazy girls, who were treating a guy badly because they liked them and the moment they found a interest for another girl they got jealous and suddenly started to pay attention to them. A fun trope, in a way, but a very childish one at the same time.

Trust the will of the world, that gave him this cursed existence, to be a moody adolescent girl with tsunder-ish tendencies.

But if it wanted a completion on the most tsundere one Kokichi was happy to comply.

The fuck with this, he wouldn’t accept it.

He’d rather be sent back to being ignored forever and hated, or thought as annoying, that get this bitter, filthy strange mix of pity and irreverence that was offered to him.

He hadn’t fell that low quite yet.

____________________

 

**Save state?**

**> Yes**

**No**

**Type the element to transfer over:**

**> It’s all about him.**

**Confirm?**

**> Yes**

**No**

**Save state completed. Please wait.**

**Loading…**


	22. 6th Playthrough

Well then, where the fuck was he now?

He was lying down on a hard bed, staring at a white ceiling with a neon light. At the very least he could _see_ it now. A nurse, _a nurse,_ appeared by his side and as he tried to turn his head to look at her he discovered that his head was kept in place by one of those hard collars they were giving to people that hurt themselves.

Kokichi’s first instinct was to scream bloody murder. Fate could not be fucking with him this hard, it was just not possible.

“Ouma-san, please don’t move! I already told you, you have to be patient, the MRI scan will take only a few minutes and if everything is fine you are ready to go right now.”

Oh, did he fell or something? Had he been brought to the hospital for tests?

That, or someone tried to murder him. At this point he wouldn’t put anything past.

“Ah, really? Then maybe my brain is broken because I don’t remember anything like that, maybe you should hurry up with that test.” he smiled amiably.

The nurse sent him a reproachful look, but he could see a glimpse of worry.

“Please, don’t joke about it. Hits on the head are dangerous, if you really have forgotten something you need to say it right now. The medical examination went well, but your brain is very important, and everyone is waiting for you outside. The more honest you are the faster you’ll join them.”

Okay, information. He had suffered ‘a hit to the head’, whatever that meant, and people were waiting for you outside. Friends or family?

“Alright! Then I’ll honestly say I can see the color of your bra under your uniform! Black? Not a smart choice under light pink!” he was still smiling.

She jumped back and covered her chest with one arm, before realizing he was bullshiting her. He couldn’t see anything, her bra maybe wasn’t even black. She narrowed her eyes.

“Very funny. I guess you are fine then.”

She started to push his bed, which was actually a stretcher, into the room, toward the tube for the test that Kokichi saw at the last moment. She reminded him not to move again, removed the tutor from his neck and left. His stretcher was pushed again, slowly inside the machine. A voice reminded him, _again,_ to stay still and lights started to appear on the wall of the tube. Kokichi wasn’t claustrophobic, he didn’t suffer or got anxious, if anything it was just boring. The tests continued for a little while, he was allowed to sit down after he was pushed back into a room, but they forbid him from walking around and change, in case he needed some help all of a sudden he needed to be in his hospital gown. Kokichi pursed his lips at this and used the time waiting to enjoy his sight again. There was a window, a little away from the bed he was sitting on. He could see the sky, a city was extending down a hill and Kokichi could not see the horizon. The hospital was at the top, surrounding it was a small green park for patients who could walk to enjoy.

It seemed a normal universe.

After a little while a doctor and a nurse, a different one, entered the room to speak with him.

“Good evening, Ouma-san, we have the results of the preliminary examination, the definitive results will be available later this week. Good news, there is nothing wrong with your head, you are healthy enough. You’ll have a bump where you were hit, and maybe tonight it will pulse a little after the painkiller effect ends. If anything else happen, even if the test is negative, please come back here immediately. But generally I wouldn’t worry.”

“Oh, I wasn’t worried. If even you found something wrong with my brain I wouldn’t be worried. My brain was damaged since birth.” Kokichi waved a hand casually.

“Is that so? Well, I’m glad it wasn’t damaged further then.”  the doctor smiled, luckily he had understood the joke for what it was.

“Are they still waiting for me outside?” he asked, keeping vague, he didn’t know who was waiting for him and wanted to.

“Yes, your friends are still outside. I guess that part of it has to be guilt.”

Oh yeah? So they tried to murder him, his friends, cute.

“Maybe I should report them to the police.” he was still joking, of course.

“If that’s what you feel like you should do… but it was an accident, they didn’t hit the ball with the bat to hit you specifically. They feel sorry for it.” baseball? His usual luck, getting hit by a stray ball. But they brought him to the hospital because of a ball? Overkill much? “Well then, do you think you feel ready to leave? You are discharged.”

“Yey!” he jumped down the bed shooting his arms in the air. “I’m free! The revolutionaries weren’t able to throw me in jail, I’ll live another day, long live the king!”

The nurse was looking at him like he was crazy and they should do more tests. If he thought it would explain his superpower he wouldn’t even mind, unfortunately it was not the case. He grabbed the pile of clothes he had seen on a chair nearby and run toward the bathroom door, but before entering he stopped and turned.

“By the way, have my parents been informed of this incident thingy?”

“No, you said they live too far and they wouldn’t come to see you anyway, that it would be a waste of time. You can contact them yourself if you wish.” the doctor answered, as he was already preparing to leave the room.

“Yeah, no thank you. I’d rather live.”

Nice to know, at least he didn’t need to worry about that. At the same time now he knew that he was either living in a dormitory or in an apartment alone. The latter was what he was hoping for, he was eighteen now and he wanted some space. He changed back into his clothes, or old Kokichi’s clothes, and enjoyed the feeling of seeing what he was putting on. Not that it was anything too special, it was just a plain t-shirt and jeans bermuda shorts. His t-shirt had a logo on it, something about a dragon, and it was black. He wondered if he had been a fan of that series. His tennis shoes were dirty with ground dust of sand color, he had to have picked that up where they were playing baseball.

He left the hospital room and searched for the reception, so he could ask where his ‘friends’ were. He at least wanted to see who they were before leaving them behind. He had been inside a room on the second floor, so as soon as he found the stairs he descended them, and the first floor was a little noisier than the second. If the second was for the patients and families alone, and they were generally quiet, the first was full of people coming and going. The reception desk was close to the entrance, but other people were already talking with the assistant, so Kokichi decided to use the map at the wall instead. The waiting room was close by, so he quickly went for it.

Inside, in a corner all together whispering, were a mixture of people he didn’t care about and people he hated. There were Kaito and Rantaro, of course, those two were a curse, Kiibo and Hoshi, and… yeah.

Kiibo was the first one to raise his eyes and see him. He jumped on his feet.

“Kokichi! Are you alright? Is it okay for you to walk around?” he was already coming his way, the others following and asking similar things.

In moments he had them all around, and he couldn’t say he was happy about it. In fact, he cringed a little bit. And he didn’t like to be called ‘Kokichi’ so casually by these people.

“I’m fine! Seriously you guys! Getting so panicked over a ball!” he pretended to laugh.

“It was not simply a ball, you fainted and didn’t wake up! We thought we killed you!” Kiibo vehemently protested. “I’m so glad you are okay!”

“Yeah, seriously man, I’m so sorry!” Kaito rubbed his neck looking away with a half smile, clearly embarrassed. Ah, here was the ‘assassin’. Figured. Who else would almost kill him by accident. “I wasn’t aiming at you, I’m really sorry.”

“Considering your aim, if you were to try and hit him it wouldn’t work.” Rantaro teased him.

“Man, stop mocking me, I really feel bad!” Kaito and his stupidly loud voice.

All the people inside the waiting room turned to look at them. Kokichi wanted to say the cliché sentence ‘You are embarrassing, I’ll pretend I don’t know any of you!’. But the irony was that it was not a cliché, it was the truth. And he wasn’t interested in knowing any of them. He could feel _his_ eyes on him, and he refused to meet them.

“Anyway, are you okay? Anything broken?” Kiibo asked again, he hadn’t been distracted by the others.

“Nah, my skull is too thick!”

“It didn’t seem that way, considering you dropped dead with your nose in the dust.” Hoshi commented, his voice neutral, he wasn’t trying to aggravate him, only to state the truth.

“I may have spent the night playing videogames…” Kokichi paused on purpose, to sound ashamed. “So I probably just fell asleep, after all, Kaito, the great baseball player, was batting, I was sure the field wouldn’t see a ball in a while.” he shrugged.

“Why are you all against me?!” Kaito was still disturbing public peace, and the others joined by chuckling.

“We should go, that nurse is looking our way funny.” Shuichi spoke softly, but everyone immediately started to behave.

They left the hospital, in a better mood, aside from Kokichi. It seemed that knowing they hadn’t accidentally killed their friends was making them feel more in high spirit than usual. Even Hoshi had a small smile on his face. The conversation shifted to other topics, many of them possibly very important for Kokichi, usually he would assimilate everything like his life depended on it, but this time he really didn’t care. They could be anyone they wanted, this universe could do anything it preferred, Kokichi really was not interested.

Just like he had predicted, the less he cared the more the universe was going tsundere on him.

“I know we already asked ten times, but are you sure you are okay? You aren’t talking much.”

Shuichi had slowed down to match Kokichi’s pace. He had intentionally slowed down to be at the end of the group, where he could be alone. Now his plan was ruined, because Shuichi had decided to be his new unpredictable and annoying self.

“Sometimes I get bored of the sound of my own voice. Does it ever happen to you?” Kokichi raised an eyebrow and didn’t even smile.

If this hint that Shuichi should shut up wasn’t subtle enough then he could think of something more subtle, up to him. Shuichi was looking at him in the eyes, thankfully silently but without a hint of shame or contempt. Kokichi looked away. To keep going at it would be to play his game, whatever game it was.

“Want to stop by and get a hamburger? It will be sunset soon.” Rantaro proposed.

As everyone was agreeing, aside from Shuichi, Kokichi spoke up.

“No, I’m going home, the doctor ordered for me to rest.” or more simply he didn’t want anything to do with them.

“Aw, no man, if you aren’t going then we aren’t going.” Kaito turned to look at him.

“Don’t starve on my account! If you die, my dear Momota-chan, I’ll never able to forgive myself!” he said, holding his hands in prayer and trying for teary eyes.

“Oh dear, are we sure his brain wasn’t smashed to the side of his head?” Kaito asked, pointing at him and looking at the others, like he wanted to be backed up. “And what the hell is a Momota-chan?”

Hm, wrong name, not that he was expecting it to be right. It was a very patronizing nickname he gave him a long while ago, he couldn’t imagine this Kokichi using it.

“If so it would be your fault.” Hoshi stated, brashly. “Leave him alone, he is right, he should go and rest for tonight.”

“It’s okay, I’ll walk him home, you guys go on ahead, I’m not hungry.” Shuichi smiled and ignored Kokichi’s glare.

Who asked him? No one.

Everyone silenced Kaito’s new wave of protests and they dragged him away, throwing a bunch of ‘see you’ to the two that stayed back. Kokichi glared at Shuichi again.

“I don’t need you to walk me anywhere.”

Not true at all. Kokichi didn’t know where to go, but it was better to sleep in a park on a bench than to have him around for much longer.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that, but my home is in your direction, we are going the same way anyway.” he sounded genuine.

But wasn’t. Kokichi didn’t have any kind of proof, but he knew he had lied. He just knew. Shuichi could have changed modus operandi in a creepy, unsettling way, but it was still him at heart, Kokichi knew him. Yet he could not say anything, he was unable to contradict him.

The two walked side by side, Kokichi trying his very best not to show that he didn’t know where they were headed, in silence. It was surprising, considering how obviously hostile Kokichi was, that Shuichi still hadn’t asked a thing. Even a simple: have I done something wrong? Nothing. He had wondered for a while now, but today more than any other time he was wondering what was going on in his head. Kokichi was sure that if he turned his face toward him he would find him staring. He refused.

“Where are you going, we are here.”

Shuichi stopped him, and Kokichi’s temper was barely under the level of exploding. They were in front of a door, sure, but Kokichi was far from passing it, they were barely in front of it in fact, he had stopped him as soon as it was logistically possible. No way he didn’t do it on purpose. Did he want another punch? He would have punched him again, in the last universe, but his eyes stopped him. Nothing was stopping him now. Did he want a punch?

“ _I know._ What, do you want to be invited in? What's all this haste?” he asked, obviously sarcastic.

Even a deaf person would perceive the sarcasm. But not Shuichi, he refused.

“I don’t mind. If you want some company I’m currently free.”

Kokichi closed his eyes, collecting his last spark of patience. Then he answered trying to keep his voice low.

“No one asked you. What do you want from me?”

Shuichi’s left mouth corner raised a little, it was not a smirk, it was just a vague feeling of amusement.

“You changed. You are very different. What happened to you?”

“I got my head smacked by a baseball ball?” Kokichi’s sarcasm was bitter.

“That too, I guess, but I wonder. Maybe I’ll finally get some answers.” he looked at Kokichi a few more seconds, then he took a step back and turned to leave. “Another day perhaps. I’ve waited for the last three years, I can wait a little longer.” he raised a hand. “See you tomorrow.”


	23. 6th Playthrough

Kokichi was fuming as he slammed his door shut.

 _He_ was the one that wanted answers, _he._

He should shut up and take it, this was what he wanted, right? For Shuichi to start playing with him, this kind of interaction was what he had wanted from the beginning, someone that would play with him, someone that would try to discover all his secrets, while Kokichi could dangle the answers right in front of his nose. Then why, for all that was good and well in this world, it felt so wrong? Kokichi was supposed to be on his same level, after all these stupid years of learning and stalking, not to be jerked around by Shuichi’s mood like a fiddle! One day he would try to buy his silence by ‘being his boyfriend’, like Kokichi just wanted to hold hands with him or kiss and shit, another day he was abusing Kokichi’s disability to do… who knows what, and now he was the one acting all superior and stuff? _Again?_ After all Kokichi did and went through to have him play in his same league, now it was right back at the start? Was he the problem? Was Kokichi that had completely lost the feel of what he was searching for and wanted, was he that was never happy with anything?

Whatever it was, for sure someone was screwing with him.

For real, why had he started to change all of a sudden? He supposed he really should be happy, now more than ever Shuichi was at an arm length, he just needed to extend a hand. He could play with him, maybe even tell him the truth, just to screw with his brain, and… have his happy ending.

That, assuming Shuichi didn’t have an evil secret plan.

This wasn’t what Kokichi had envisioned at all. He envisioned having some kind of leverage, having managed to attract his eyes by his own merits, not… this. He didn’t know what made this reality. He didn’t know what Shuichi was searching, or for what reason. It was dangerous. It was like accepting a gift, not knowing why or what have you done to deserve it. It could be a trap.

What was keeping Shuichi from use Kokichi to get anything he wanted, and then toss him aside later? Kokichi had not gained anything of this, not as far as he knew.

Sure, maybe this one Kokichi was the most successful body he could ever imagine, maybe he was the most brilliant human being ever. But it wasn’t a first, Kokichi had impersonated many brilliant himself before, and that never did anything. Shuichi was turning his face at him like any other. Then maybe this one was friendly and dumb, Shuichi’s favorite pawn. But then why look so interested when he started to behave with hostility? And it didn’t make any sense with his last declaration. Then was it some stupid cliché like a childhood friend? But he just said three years.

The hell with it, Kokichi wasn’t going to spend this night slamming his brain against his skull because of him. That would be keep playing right in his hand. Kokichi had promised himself he was going to ignore him, and that was what he was going to do.

He was going to empty his mind. Zen.

So, where was he? In his fit of indignation, he had yet to see anything around him. His house was inside a small complex of three units at best, and his was on the first floor, toward the back of the building. It was an ugly small cube of concrete, next to similar cubes and rectangles. This was definitely not the ‘fancy’ area of the city, it was for people with little money and prospective. Kokichi was not living in a dormitory, he was not living with his family, he was living alone out here. Something told him that his parents were not rich, and this was the best place they could afford for him. He wasn’t complaining, freedom was worth a little squalor.

The house itself was composed of three rooms. A small living room, where the entrance door was situated, had the space to contain a tv on top of a drawer and a two sized sofa, in the middle a little table that if you sat in the sofa you could almost touch with your knees. The other room had a normal sized table and the kitchen, and it was the biggest room of the house. The last room was a bedroom, small, cold and dark, there wasn’t a bed. He had to sleep in a futon on the ground. The bathroom was at the end of the small corridor connecting the bedroom to the living room. It was the ugliest corridor he had ever seen, there was a lamp, dangling from the ceiling, and nothing else. The walls were bare and white, which in that yellow light were almost looking like a coffin. The bathroom was just as small as everything else, but at least he could see the effort that Kokichi made to make this place clean and ‘cute’. He had added some color in this room, buying many colorful shampoo bottles and bubble bath, and the towels were all of a different, vibrant color. Something told Kokichi that this was his favorite room, and maybe the only one he was actively spending time in. The kitchen had looked basically abandoned. The house was livable for a young couple, maybe one with a little kid, so there was space to eat as a family, but Kokichi didn’t seem interested, and he couldn’t blame him. Kokichi had always survived on takeaways.

The first thing he did was use his favorite room to clean up. He had still the dust from the baseball field all over his clothes. When the room was hot and humid, filled with steam and a sweet scent, everything felt better. Definitely, even this house could be saved by a nice bath.

He threw his clothes in the washing machine and walked around his bedroom naked to search for new clothes, or a pajama. He didn’t found a pajama, but on the chair close to the futon was a pair of shorts and a plain white t-shirt, he assumed it was his nightwear. He dressed and sat at the desk, searching for a pen and paper. His old habit had to wait last universe, because of his blindness, but now he could write again down number and name. He was about to do it when he stopped, wondering if it was worth it anymore. There had never been an actual reason before, aside from keeping track a little, and even that reason looked irrelevant right now. Who cared how many universes he had visited? He shook his head. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t let himself be tempted. One day, knowing he had lost the number forever, he would regret it.

_Universe 131; Previous Blindness_

There, done. He sighed and dropped the pen, like he had just done something monumental. He felt out of energy completely. It didn’t mean anything, nothing had changed from before, but for Kokichi it was a very important moment. He could have decided to lose himself completely, to stop counting, to stop caring, but he had written down the number. He had decided to keep his memories, and what he learned from the past, instead of abandoning it. Maybe he should have done it. In some years, if he was still alive, he would look back at this moment and think in hindsight if it was a good or a bad decision. For now there was nothing to be done and said.

He went to sleep, because as the doctor had said, he was developing a headache.

He was awoken by his phone ringing, from the desk where he had left it. He turned his head toward the noise but couldn’t move. He felt his body heavy like a log, and his head was pulsing. He couldn’t say he was hurting, he wasn’t feeling nauseous or sick, but he surely would have liked to sleep another ten hours. The phone kept ringing and he still didn’t move, his eyes closed and his mind empty, until the noise stopped. Only then, with complete calm, his mind gears start turning.

So, was it summer vacation or had the school already started?

Every school was dealing with it a little differently, so it was hard to tell. When he left the previous universe it was late August, September was coming in a few days. If today was a school day then he was late, it had to be late morning. Maybe someone was calling him to know why he had not gone to class. No alarm had rung before that moment, he would have noticed, even as tired as he was. Maybe he needed to set the alarm, maybe it was Monday, maybe the old Kokichi had turned it off for the weekend. Maybe, maybe, maybe. If that was the case Kokichi didn’t really care. A lost day of class was hardly the problem. He was almost murdered yesterday, he was sure the teachers would forgive him.

If this was still summer vacation then someone was calling him to discover if he was dead. Logical.

If it was Shuichi calling the phone could explode for all he cared.

He turned the other direction, sighing and burying his face on the pillow. He fell into a semi-sleep, in and out consciousness. He woke up completely much later, he wasn’t tired anymore, but he didn’t want to confront the day all the same. Delay after delay, in the end it was again the phone that convinced him to get up.

“Yes?” he said, not bothering to contain his irritation.

“Kokichi! Finally! I thought you were dead!” ah, Kiibo. He was spot on, they were worried about him. “Are you alright? You didn’t answer when I called you earlier, I waited a little but if you didn’t answer now I would have come to your house to see you. You worried me.”

“Aww, cute! Kiiboy, wanna be my boyfriend? If that’s what you want just say it!” at this point going out with Kiibo would be an interesting revenge against Shuichi, for last universe events.

Kiibo ignored him entirely.

“Well, you are not dead, I can hear that much. How are you feeling? Is your head okay?”

“So worried! You really like my cute head, yes? Wanna come and kiss the pain away?” if Kiibo could ignore him, Kokichi could keep up.

Kiibo sighed on the other side, acknowledging that Kokichi wouldn’t stop.

“Can you stop please? Or should I take this as a sign that you are unwell? Do you want me to take you back to the hospital?”

“Do you want to play doctor with me? Let me search for my cure lingerie then!” he whispered seductively.

“Alright, you know what? I think I’m going to take the risk and find you dead tomorrow. If you have other impulses to… play patient with someone, call someone else. I’ve done my part for today, bye.”

Kiibo closed the call without waiting for him to respond. Kokichi shrugged and tossed the phone away, smiling. He still had it in him to make people run away, that was all that mattered.

He took all the time in the world to change and prepare for the day, even if he didn’t know what to do with it. By the time he came back to the bedroom his phone had already beeped a bunch of times, in a different way from the ringing from before. Text messages. He unlocked it and saw a chat group with many people he knew in it, the people from the day before, plus some girls. The history of the chat was too long, it would take a lot of time for Kokichi to read everything. He needed to do it, because this kind of thing was the gold mine of information. His previous universes didn’t require him to search so deeply into his chatting history, either because he didn’t know anyone or because he didn’t have a phone to begin with. It felt bothersome that he had to do it now.

For as absurd as it sounded, a Kokichi with a lot of friends was worst than a Kokichi that didn’t know anyone. If he wanted to keep up appearances he needed a great deal of effort, and if he refused to do so everyone would be weirded out and become an obstacle. He still had yet to decide which direction he wanted to take in this particular one. Right now he didn’t want to be bothered by any of it. He just looked at the last part of the chat, the new messages. Some people were talking directly to him, asking how he was feeling. None of these messages were Kiibo’s, these people were the ones that didn’t want or weren’t bothered enough to call him directly. One of the newest messages was Kiibo telling everyone Kokichi was alive, and being a pain. How cute, he knew that Kokichi could see the messages.

While he was munching on cereals, found them in the kitchen and instead of eating there he returned to the bedroom, he assisted at the evolution of the conversation, like a tv drama of the lowest level. They were expressing their relief at Kokichi’s survival and daubing the chat with a lot of laughing emoticon at the last sentence. Rantaro and Kaede started to tease Kaito about his tentative of homicide and a parallel, more stupid than the original, thread opened with just the three of them. The conversation moved from Kokichi to the plans of the day. Kiibo informed them that he hadn’t been able to ask Kokichi what he wanted to do, because he was being stupid. Then and only then Shuichi finally appeared, saying that if Kokichi wanted to come he would come of his own accord after reading the texts.

His, spot-on, prophecy irritated Kokichi a little. It was just logical, but at the same time why couldn’t someone else say it, instead of him?

The plan for the day was to meet up in the late afternoon and then go to the movies, and Kokichi lost interest in the conversation. He really didn’t care about this outing. What was he supposed to do? Go to see a movie for the sake of it? Knowing that he would meet up Shuichi there? Did he want to confront his ‘questions’? Not really. He tossed the phone away again.

He started to search in the house, every possible place, for anything that could be related to him and unrelated to his friends. He found what he guessed was a family album, the pictures inside weren’t many, just a handful, but it was him, as a child, and his parents. They seemed to be normal, boring everyday people you could meet in the street. The pictures, also, didn’t seem particularly happy, they were just… there. Like it was forced, a thing everyone was expecting them to do. Maybe that was the reason Kokichi left his house even if he had to live in this hole. Maybe that was the reason why his family had not been informed of him being hit on the head and being taken to the hospital. If so good for him, he could ignore them as well.

He found some other random belongings, like a series of books, CDs, a single portable console, three games, a non especially performing laptop and school supplies. In his bag were textbooks for normal, standard everyday subjects, nothing impressive. His notebooks and diary also made it quite clear that Kokichi was an average, or maybe a little above average, student, nothing too special. His clothes were normal, a little boring. Inside his laptop were some pictures, of him and his ‘friends’. One looked like a school trip commemorative photo, with the Mount Fuji in the background. Then a whole set of pictures was about an amusement park, and all of them seemed to have been taken by Kaede. If Kokichi had to guess she had sent them all the pictures as a proof of a group experience. The last two were about a not better identified event inside a restaurant, his family was present, as was a certain someone. One of the two photos was of Kokichi and Shuichi, sitting side by side in front of a cake, with a smile and an awkward pose. The cake was not a birthday cake, so it was difficult to tell the time. Not even the date memorized on the laptop in relation to the photo was helpful, because all of them were dated back three months ago. Like every other school document he found.

It seemed that this laptop had been a recent purchase. Maybe his birthday present?

Nothing else caught his interest so he closed the laptop. Inside the diary he had discovered that school was going to start over again in a week. He didn’t know what to feel about that. At school, surely, he was going to meet Shuichi but also staying at home like this, without any kind of objective or meaning, was excessively boring. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he regretted not going to the movies already, this was too boring to be dealt with for more than one day. Tomorrow he was going out, with or without a motive.

In the end he spent the rest of the day in the futon, without the comforter and with a fan on, reading texts in his chat history. Taking for granted the guys from the previous day he also had a couple more names he didn’t recognize in his phone history, and the girls were Kaede, Yumeno, Harukawa, Toujo, Chabashira and Iruma. The last name made him groan, more than once that girl had tried to molest him in some way. The first times he had legitimately been scared and weirded out by her. In the latest universes he had learned how to deal with sexual innuendos. He was using them himself sometimes with people that seemed allergic to it, like Kiibo, to make them leave. That didn’t mean he was happy to see her, though.

It seemed that some of them were texting even while watching the movie, Iruma either was not present or she was completely ignoring it, and Kaito was trying to coordinate the popcorn and drinks business. Failing, because it seemed that some people were watching the movie like they were supposed to, so they weren’t responding to the texts. Kokichi was shaking his head, he wasn’t even there and he could feel how absurd they were, from a distance. Yet he couldn’t negate the thought that he would have more fun being there, than here and spy on them through a phone.

After the movie ended a flood of messages invaded the chat and Kokichi was too tired of reading. He turned off the phone. He was desperate enough for something to do that he looked through his class notes and diary to check his summer homework, at least now he could see them. Not everything was done, as expected Kokichi was intending to cram everything else at the last second. Kokichi sighed and shut close everything, going to sleep earlier than usual.

A new, different kind of sound, woke him up this time. Kokichi’s eyes snapped open and he looked around, in search of the source. His phone was silent by his side and the noise repeated over and over again. It was still night, it wasn’t even morning, the phone clock confirmed as much, what the hell was happening, who was bothering him so close to midnight?

Kokichi got up and left the room, following the noise. He found himself at the end of the corridor and the sound was coming from right next to him. The door. Someone was ringing the doorbell. Kokichi stared at the door with wide eyes, like it was a man-eating monster. Maybe it was. Who the fuck would ring his doorbell at this hour? Was Kokichi some kind of gangster with secret thug friends? Or maybe he was having a secret illicit relationship with some married woman. Either one of those or there was a serial killer behind that door, ready to kill him. He tilted his head, the doorbell still ringing, and stared at the door, waiting for an ax to smack against the wood and break everything down. Like in the best horror movies.

Nothing happened aside from the doorbell. Kokichi pouted. That would have been fun, for a few seconds before jumping and abandoning this body to its destiny. He slowly went to the peephole and looked.

He would have preferred the serial killer. Unless he was, that would double the fun.

“Don’t they sell wristwatches in this town? Because apparently you aren’t able to read your phone clock, since I know you were using it.” he said after opening the door.

“Speaking of phones. You were online most of the day, in the chat, and yet you didn’t say a thing. That was a little rude, you know? Had you forgotten that your account showed you were online?” Shuichi smiled, unaffected by Kokichi’s rudeness.

“No. I didn’t forget, I simply didn’t care. And you were so nice to cover up for me, weren’t you? So, why are you here, so late at night, at my door? If you are here to get laid, I don’t know why you would think that but alas, then wrong day. Come back after you take an appointment, I receive only when I’m in the mood. Too bad for you.”

Speaking about people that were allergic to sexual innuendos, Shuichi was probably at the top of the list. He would always look at him like he was worm after he tried, years ago. Of course today, the day he decided to do it exactly to have this reaction, Shuichi smiled, clearly amused.

“Is that so? I wasn’t aware. Anyway, you really didn’t want to come to the movies? You didn’t even answer in chat. Why are you trying to avoid us?”

“And what business do you have with this information? Why should I answer? Why are you here? You haven’t answered either.” Kokichi crossed his arms.

“I have, in fact, already answered yesterday. I want answers. Like for example… who are you?”


	24. 6th Playthrough

Kokichi’s attention sharpened, but not too much.

It wasn’t the first time someone accused him of ‘being different’, it kind of came with the job. It was difficult to ‘be’ what people’s perception of the previous Kokichi was. Sometimes he wasn’t even trying, which often resulted in being accused of being strange, different or worse. Shuichi also had said something like this multiple times in the past. This wasn’t anything new. But it somehow was, because Shuichi was. Still, Kokichi kept his calm.

“I’m an alien from outer space, you can see that by my incredible skill of not answering in chat when I can’t be bothered to, of course, as you so acutely denoted. Now what? Are you going to call the FBI and send me to a secret laboratory underground where they are going to get me naked and steal my cells to create clones? I understand the appeal.”

“So you insist that you are the same person as two or three days ago? That person wouldn’t have answered this way to my question, or didn’t you know that? I’m not entirely sure of what changed, are you even still Kokichi at all? I guess there is one way to find out. When have we met for the first time?” he asked, staring Kokichi directly in the eyes.

Kokichi _was_ disturbed that Shuichi was honestly considering that Kokichi was not, well, his Kokichi anymore. Even after asking, many times, if Kokichi had changed or if something was wrong, or more generally scoff at him, no one was really intellectually considering that Kokichi could not be him. It was not _logical._ The best that people could get from this situation was that maybe he was amnesiac, and that blow to the head could help, if only Kokichi was willing to be bothered. Once his parents, in one universe, tried to get him to see a psychiatric, and a couple times his classmates were considering that he could have a split personality. No one ever considered some paranormal stuff, of course. The fact that this Shuichi was considering something like this so easily and confidently was indeed very disturbing. Kokichi was, just a little bit, scared of him now. Concerned, there, a way better term.

“Good night.”

Kokichi didn’t want to answer, so instead he slammed the door closed.

Or at least he thought he had. Two hands and a foot appeared in the space between the door and the frame at the last second. Kokichi got so surprised that the door got stolen from his hands and opened again. The reason why this maneuver had surprised him that much was because he had calculated how far was Shuichi from the door to do this. In Kokichi’s mind, he shouldn’t have been able to do this. How fast had he moved?

Kokichi took a step back as Shuichi positioned himself inside the frame, so that he couldn’t retry this trick again.

“Well, you tried. That was rude.” he said, like nothing had just happened.

“No, it wasn’t, I bid you good night, what else did you want? A goodnight kiss?” Kokichi shot automatically, even as he was still collecting himself from the scare.

Shuichi finally showed some signs of fatigue, by sighing. Then he wasn’t really _that_ different. He was still suffering from his intolerance to nonsense. Normally though, this signs would come much earlier. He fought bravely this time around. Maybe Kokichi was going to gain his edge once more.

“Is this how you normally behave? Do I have to get used to this? Wow, I can’t believe that I waited years to end up with this.” he sighed again. “You tried to close the door on me because you didn’t know the answer, right? That’s what I believe just happened. So, have you replaced the Kokichi I knew? How does it work? Are you going by the same name or are you someone else?”

Kokichi was out of words by this point. More than who was Kokichi… now he wanted to know who _Shuichi_ was. This couldn’t be normal, was it some kind of dream? A very imaginative dream. He took a mental deep breath.

“Okay, so instead of going for the normal route, which is thinking that I had a blow to the head and maybe I’m hurt, you are going for the paranormal route. Is this how you normally behave? Do I have to get used to this? Have you replaced the Shuichi I knew? How does it work?”

“I have to believe in this, otherwise it’s me that’s crazy, and I don’t want to go there if I don’t have to.” Shuichi answered, completely serious. “All this would make sense only if you really have something to tell me.”

The two of them looked at each other in the eyes, in silence. Kokichi’s mind was running fast, considering the situation. There was no reason for him to avoid answering Shuichi’s question, whether he wanted to believe him or not. Kokichi had never considered, though, the possibility of winning Shuichi over after telling him the truth. The implications were difficult to predict. What would Shuichi do, if the two of them were together and he would believe that Kokichi had such a power over him? Or well, he had the power of running away when he wanted and that Shuichi had no power to keep him there? Couples where the advantage was so unilateral hardly had a long future ahead of them. And that was taking for granted that Shuichi was ever going to be interested in him, which wasn’t that granted. What was more possible was that Shuichi would learn of him having such a power, and then hate him for it. That was why he never even considered this possibility, because he had always considered it ludicrous.

But at the same time Kokichi couldn’t deny that he was… curious.

Shuichi had never acted this way, and he was saying crazy things. There were two possibilities. Either this was an universe where many people had superpowers, then it made some amount of sense. Or Shuichi was… more complex than Kokichi originally thought. What if his never changing attitude was not a causality? What if Shuichi…

“Okay, let’s do it like this. We ask a question to each other, then we both agree to answer, if one of us disagree the game stops. We keep asking a question until one of us refuses. What do you say?” Kokichi proposed.

This game was a good idea, he could listen to Shuichi’s questions and wasn’t forced to answer. At the same time he could see what Shuichi was willing to answer himself.

Shuichi’s eyes shined a little with interest.

“I like this idea. But can we close the door? I don’t want to talk this way the whole night.”

Kokichi smiled.

“Are you already assuming we are talking the whole night? You must feel confident. Well then, let’s play!”

Shuichi nodded, stepped inside Kokichi’s home and closed the door behind him. Kokichi sat down on the couch in the small living room and waited for him to sit at the opposite end.

“Your first question?” asked Kokichi.

“Who are you?” Shuichi didn’t hesitate. “Yours?”

“Do you have a superpower?” Kokichi smiled widely when he saw Shuichi blink twice.

If Shuichi had decided to play it safe for the first question that was no Kokichi’s business. He was starting with the big ones.

“Okay. I’ll answer.” Shuichi said.

“Okay! Me too! I am Kokichi! My name is definitely Kokichi as far as I know!” too easy. This wasn’t the answer that Shuichi wanted, he wanted something more than that but was it Kokichi’s fault he had phrased it wrong? No. “Your answer?”

“… I think so. If that’s how you want to call it.” Shuichi cautiously answered.

Kokichi’s brain was about to take off and fly three times around the globe. But he stopped it, there was time for that, it was more important to get as much as possible from this game.

“What kind of power it is?”

“Why did you change, what changed?”

“That’s two questions, but sure, I’ll answer!”

“Good, I’ll as well, but before that I want to change my question. What do you mean you came from another universe?”

Kokichi stilled. He hadn’t said anything about that. Not yet. He was about to answer ‘I came from a different universe’. He hadn’t said it! Not yet!

Shuichi seemed to pick up on his mental process and smiled.

“Well, technically you stole one free answer by not answering decently to the first one. I decided to get a freebie myself. You already answered my question, you just don’t remember to have done it. I’ll be nice and explain first. So, your answer. My superpower. I can reset back to a specific moment back in time and live that moment again as many time as I need. Specifically, I reset back to you trying to slam the door in my face earlier for example. Then I let you answer my question a moment ago and reset back to this moment. When you answered I thought it would be easier to convince you of my power this way. No one but you knows about who you are, correct? Then I could have only got this from your mouth.”

“You… can go back in time?” Kokichi asked slowly, shocked.

“No, don’t misunderstand. I need to set a specific point in time, then I can… Ah… There is a better way to explain. You play videogames, right?” Shuichi didn’t wait for him to answer. “Well then, think about saving. You save your game, then, if you make a mistake, you turn it off and start all over again from that saving point, yes? It’s the same thing. I save, then I reload the old save file and play again. I can reload up to multiple old save files, for example right now I could reload back to you shutting the door in my face and walk away, with the answers I extracted from you. Answers that you won’t remember to have ever given me.”

The two looked at each other in silence again, Shuichi seemed to be waiting for Kokichi’s reaction.  A reaction that didn’t seem to be coming. Kokichi didn’t know what to say, there were too many things in his mind right now. For example the fact that his power was a monstrosity. Not even Kokichi’s power was this strong, his power was for running away, not for _fixing mistakes._ He was also a little envious. Another thing in his mind was this one question: was it true for this Shuichi only or was it true for all the other Shuichi? The ones he met in each of the others…

_“I’ll be fine. I’m a life cheater.”_

Save and reload. A game. _Fuck._

“Are you scared of me? Most people would be.” Shuichi snapped him out of his thoughts, his voice cautious again.

He was testing his character, his reactions. He wanted to know if he had to reload and cancel this mistake. Fuck no.

If there was one thing Kokichi had learned for sure was that his Jump superpower was not stronger than his. If he was to lose this knowledge right now he would lose it even in the other universes. He needed to either jump right now or to play it safe. He didn’t want to jump, not right now, he definitely wanted to stay. This was the biggest thing that had happened in his life in a long while. He needed more answers.

“Scared? Well, sure. You have a lot of power. I can’t imagine how many things you can do and no one will ever know… Maybe you already kissed me a couple of times and I don’t remember it, which if true it would be a shame, let me tell you. But…” Kokichi shrugged. “My power is clearly cooler. After all, do you remember that time you saved me from my kidnappers? Do you remember that time I gave you a gigantic chocolate cake for Valentine? Or when I punched you in the face during camping? Or when you rejected me ninety different times? And when I was blind and you decided to use Kiibo as a proxy to screw with me? Ahh, I have so many fond memories of you!”

He didn’t even need to look at Shuichi to know he had caught his complete interest.

“Did… all of this really happen?” he asked.

This answered one of Kokichi’s question. Shuichi didn’t transfer memories through different universes.

“No, I never sent you a chocolate cake for Valentine, you don’t deserve it, I ate it instead.”

Kokichi smiled widely and slowly Shuichi opened in a smile as well.

“Is this the answer to my question? Is this your power?” Shuichi asked.

“Again, two questions!” Kokichi sighed. “You really don’t get this game, do you? It’s about the smartest one!”

“Or the one that can cheat best.” Shuichi retorted and smiled seeing Kokichi pout. “I know that my promises don’t amount to much, but I promise I won’t cheat again. Will you tell me everything?”

“Only if you do!” Kokichi crossed his arms. “But yes, that’s my power. I call it Jump. When I feel like calling it at all. I normally don’t. That aside. We both have the second question answered. Time for the third round. Okay, my question… how have you found out about me?”

It was a very vital question. If old Kokichi had mentioned something, or done something strange, he needed to know. Or else something else betrayed him. Shuichi knew he was someone else from the get-go, but he also knew that he had to be something related to a superpower. If Kokichi had known before that other people could have a superpower he would have wondered as well, but nothing ever gave him this indication.

“Ah, that’s a difficult question to answer, because I’m not completely sure myself. I told you, I needed you to make sense of all this. And if your power is real then… it would make a lot more sense. I’ll gladly answer, it will help me as well. But first my question.” he looked away, almost like he wanted to collect his thoughts. “What kind of relationship I had with you in all the previous universes?”

“Ah, long story, you picked an easy one, didn’t you? With this one I’ll be sure to be up the whole night, hell, it may not even be enough!” Kokichi sighed dramatically.

 “… This long?” Shuichi sounded amused. “But… If I’m right then… My own answer will make much more sense to you as well. Will you answer me? Please?”

Kokichi was already playing, may as well play to the end. This was definitely the most important moment, maybe of his whole life. If the two of them were the only ones with powers… then maybe they were more tied together than Kokichi initially thought, and it was both exciting and scary.

“I’ll answer. But I’ll also play it smart! You see, I don’t trust you, you could screw with me any moment and I would never notice. That’s not fair, I want respect! Sooo….” Kokichi paused to create anticipation. “I’ll extend this game through a long period of time, this way to get the whole answer you’ll need to live day by day, at my back and call, waiting for me, unable to reset back to your old save file. Am I or am I not a genius?” he smiled widely.

Shuichi scoffed at his absurdly self-serving request but agreed. Kokichi felt proud of himself. Not even a life cheater could refuse him.

Now no one could say that Kokichi wasn’t a magnanimous god of all universes.


	25. 6th Playthrough

When Kokichi asked for this agreement to be extended he had taken into account some possibilities. First of all he needed to make sure of some things that only time could clarify. The most important of them was if really only the two of them were granted a superpower. If it was a ‘thing’ of this one universe then he had to disregard the possibility that Shuichi was using it across different dimensions, hidden from Kokichi’s eyes. He had not forgotten that there were good hints even in previous cases, and even analyzing his behavior made even more clear the pattern that Kokichi had already observed. And it was making it shine in a different light.

Shuichi was manipulating people and events to make his life easier. Kokichi had always known that. How much of it was Shuichi’s skill, and how much a simple process of trial and error? If he was able to test many different options, then reload each time something was going in an unexpected direction, was what Kokichi saw the simple result of Shuichi’s preferred course of the events? Then what about Kokichi? Since the very first time they had interacted strangely, there was no doubt there, but Shuichi had specifically complained that Kokichi was _distracting him._ Almost like he was a pawn he wanted to eliminate from his game, a difficult mid-boss spawned in an area where there wasn’t a save spot. Kokichi already knew his power was not stronger than his, if he was retaining his memories, compared to everyone else, then he could see why he would think he was an obstacle, but not like this. Shuichi could manipulate him just like the next person.

But to be honest… that was not really the case. If Shuichi was playing with people that were ‘blank slate’ the first time he met him, Kokichi was definitely not the case. Shuichi was unable to mutate Kokichi’s impression of him no matter how hard he tried. Because Kokichi was a dimensional stalker, nothing he could reasonably do or think to make Kokichi react was going to work the same way it was working for everyone else. The coherence that Shuichi was showing in refusing him… was a direct consequence of Kokichi immobility? Shuichi wasn’t able to change him, as such he was always reacting to him the same way.

An _annoyance._

Kokichi was the most difficult person to manipulate that Shuichi had the misfortune to meet. And it was Kokichi’s power that was making even more impossible for him to avoid the problem altogether. Because no matter what, they were always meeting. How or why was still a mystery, but they were, indeed, always meeting. Kokichi was an unavoidable nightmare for Shuichi, a perfect counter for his power.

This, of course, assuming he had understood it right. He needed more time, more proof.

But regardless, it was the most excited he had felt in a long while, maybe forever. He could not wait to get everything, and at the same time he wanted to savor it as long as possible, before it could turn out to be a disappointment.

That night he barely slept at all, he was too full of adrenaline. The next day he didn’t even ask himself what the plan was or what he should do about everyone else but Shuichi, they were forgotten.

The next days he was accepting every invitation without even reading what it was, as soon as Shuichi was showing up in chat, and no matter where they were or doing what, one way or another the two of them would find themselves alone, talking. Kokichi was the one directing the whole situation how the hell he wanted, narrating any universe he wanted, when he wanted and glamorizing everything in a different light based on his humor. He didn’t specifically lie, there would be no point then, but he was turning the events in a way that was changing the meaning the way he preferred. No one was there to tell him ‘that didn’t exactly go that way’.

For the first time Kokichi discovered the joy of having Shuichi’s true undivided attention. He wasn’t speaking much, but he was listening to every his word asking a question or a clarification every once in a while. Kokichi was so completely uncaring about anyone else that he wasn’t even stopping his narration because of them, when he was starting there was nothing that could make him stop talking. He didn’t even care about them hearing, what would they do? Take him seriously? Think he was going crazy? How terrible, truly, he was shaking. They maybe weren’t shaking themselves, but surely they looked very confused. He didn’t know what kind of relationship he had had with the others before, nor what relationship Shuichi had, but right now it was like only the two of them existed. At that was making the others feel strange.

Kokichi started from the beginning, Kaito’s first universe, but painted it in a different light. He made sure to not sound as much as a victim as he had been, cutting out some details, and then he went a little harder on Kaito’s betrayal, just to make sure the point was permeating. He would never trust Kaito again, not without the apology that was never going to come. He had done it mostly to see if Shuichi would change his way of dealing with Kaito on his account, but the result was a little different than expected. Shuichi ignored completely that part of the story, to fixate instead on what the consequences later had been. He asked if he had avoided Kaito or hated him, and if he had ever told this to someone else. Kokichi answered honestly, that even if he didn’t like it, to avoid him was impossible. He was too present in many universes, to avoid him would mean to take some drastic measures. That seemed to intrigue Shuichi a lot.

His only comment, at the end of that narration, had been ‘I wonder what I was trying to do’.

Kokichi tried to ask, but Shuichi insisted to have more universes before explaining. So Kokichi moved forward, to the Kaede universe. That one seemed to confuse Shuichi more than anything else. Kokichi didn’t know what he as searching in his story, but apparently he didn’t find it, he asked though, if the two of them, Kokichi and Shuichi, had not met yet. Kokichi told him to look forward to their first meeting, and that seemed to worry him more than anything else, because of the way Kokichi said it. In any case that day only went as far as to describe Kaede being unreasonable with his adoptive brother, he left the most interesting story for another day, leaving him hanging. Somehow not even Kaede’s universes seemed to convince Shuichi that Kokichi was a tragic hero, maybe because of the overly dramatic narration style. Shuichi raised an eyebrow at him and gave him an indulgent smile. He completely deserved to be left on a cliffhanger.

Their first meeting got hinted a bunch of times in the following two days, but Kokichi still refused to tell him, because he was enjoying having Shuichi at his back and call. He started to narrate the universe, but he also spent a lot more time than necessary on the first part, the Shuichi-less one. He also spent quite a bit of effort glorifying how refined and desirable Kokichi was in that universe, which was a big fat lie. All the while Kokichi tried to get him to say what he was searching for, but Shuichi told him nothing, the best he got was that he didn’t know himself where to find what he needed to.

So he got to tell him the truth, at least, about their first meeting. They were alone, one evening in a park after one day spent to the attractions of a fair with the others. This time Kokichi didn’t try to sugarcoat anything and just stuck to the facts. He still didn’t know if he wanted to invest truly and wholeheartedly in this place, but at least on this one he knew it would make more sense to tell the truth. If he really was searching for something in his past behavior in different universes, as Kokichi was guessing, then be as close to reality as possible would help. And truth to be told Kokichi had a pretty good memory for that one universe, he remembered almost word for word all the things he said to him.

He took his time, he had chosen this particular evening for that reason, it needed to be done correctly and without interruption. Shuichi seemed to get more and more intrigued, if he had to guess, probably recognizing one of his pattern of thought, or something. Just as Kokichi had already guessed, if there had to be an universe that was absolutely suited for getting a feeling if Shuichi was or was not using this superpower in each universe, it had to be this. Shuichi for the first time actively asked questions, in particular he asked him to repeat what he said many times. By the time they got to the kidnapping it was already dark around them.

“I saved you? Despite saying multiple times that you annoyed me?”

“Were you doubting it?” Kokichi asked, raised an eyebrow.

What exactly was he taking for granted here? That he could let people die just because they weren’t in the best of terms? Harsh.

“Somehow I can understand what I thought back there… I can visualize it a little. In my case it’s kind of different, I was waiting for you, so I’m holding back any judgment on you until I understand exactly how I came to this point, but in that universe… I’m not positive, but if it was the first time you and I met, this strange anomaly that you take around with you met me, then it’s possible. It’s possible I didn’t recognize what I was meeting and then I found you simply an obstacle. You see… I tend to categorize people thanks to my power. There are the ‘irrelevant’ people, which are those that don’t influence my reloads unless I do something really stupid, the ‘helpful’ that are those that I can use to direct the flow and make good use of the reload, and the ‘hindrances’. You were a part of the last category. Hindrances are the people that at every reload put themselves in opposition to it, reacting in the wrong way no matter what. These people are the ones that have a habit of ruining my course of action, forcing me to reload a bunch of times or to use someone else to take them off the chessboard. I don’t like hindrances. Considering what you told me… I have no doubt, you were in that category. You probably don’t remember, but I probably reload around you many times, each time or at least most times you ruined my plan or something.”

Made perfect sense. Shuichi had always called him annoying. So that was why, Kokichi was a bother for his reloads and that was why Shuichi didn’t want him near him. How ironic. It made sense now why Kokichi could always recognize the same pattern in Shuichi, because of his superpower. His past didn’t matter, as long as he was able to use that power his personality would always be molded around it. It was just like Kokichi. It was his power that made most of him, not his multiple pasts. Shuichi’s power was easily corrupting people, just like Kokichi’s.

“And that means that you would let me die?”

Kokichi continued the topic, but in a corner of his mind he was thinking about something important. Unless Shuichi was lying, he really wasn’t keeping his memories across the universes, he was absolutely oblivious to all the other jumps. Maybe that was also something he was trying to confirm himself. But _something_ was passing through the barrier of the universes, or else he would have not waited for Kokichi for three years.

“No, normally it means that I would let someone else take care of it, manipulating the events. I wouldn’t have done it personally. I wonder why.”

Kokichi didn’t know either. That conversation had been pretty nonsensical.

“Then we met again?” Shuichi asked after a long moment of silence.

“In that universe? No, we met in the next one.”

“After the first time, how many times we met, in percentage out of all universes?”

“All of them.”

Shuichi turned to face him, looking incredibly surprised.

“…All of them? How is it possible?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. You were the one that was waiting for me.” Kokichi shrugged.

“Is it possible that it was because of me?” he asked, more to himself than to Kokichi, covering his mouth with his hand.

“Ah?” now that was a strange thing to say.

“It’s possible that my power is affecting you or your jumps.” that clarification didn’t clarify anything.

“No, because your power is not stronger than mine, that should be obvious. You don’t keep your memories. It doesn’t cross the boundaries of the universe you live into.”

“That’s not entirely true, I can affect you, can’t I? You can’t retain memories of my reloads either. And it’s not completely true that I don’t cross universes either…” he sounded evasive.

“…What?” okay, enough playing around, enough dangling the bait in front of his nose. “Explain.”

“Almost there, finish with your story first.” Kokichi narrowed his eyes at him, trying to childishly intimidate him. Shuichi raised the corner of his mouth a little. “Please? There are many other things that I want to clarify before I tell you. We are almost there, now I understand much better, thanks to you I understand my own power more. It’s been bugging me my whole life. Please.”

Shuichi was staring him in the eyes steadily, showing a kind of unsettling honesty and determination. He was taking advantage of Kokichi. No matter how you look at it, he was taking advantage of the fact that Kokichi had a weak spot for Shuichi, for making him pay attention to him. He was in an advantageous position, since Shuichi could make him forget everything at any moment. Kokichi didn’t like it, it meant risk going to the next universe without that important new discovery.

“…I’m not going to erase your memory by reloading.” Shuichi read his mind.

“Oh yes? What kind of proof do I have of that?” he asked, sounding polemical.

“It would go against my best interests. If you jump away without this knowledge my next me won’t have the advantage of you already knowing and being able to explain.  See, in fact you have the ability to leave right now, abandoning me behind with your old self or disappearing completely, as you said not even you know what happens to the bodies you left behind. It would mean I’m the one who gets trapped without answers forever.” Good point. “If you decide to do it… at the very least the process would be sped up next time, since you can tell me. Because I assure you, you won’t have another universe where I won’t try to understand this phenomenon. It’s been an obsession for years, I’m pretty sure my other me will be just the same. I’m just like you, you know? I learn through experimentation, and you are the only one that knows something. If you don’t want me near you it’s fine, but you won’t get rid of me until you answer all my questions.”

Kokichi didn’t know if he found that comforting or worrisome. He was right, though, just as Shuichi had the power to reset him right now, Kokichi had the power of running away from him and doom his chances of getting answers. Still, that would not cover for _after_ he got all the answers. He needed to be very careful, no way he was getting ticked by him. After he got everything he needed from him he was leaving. Once a jump was made, no matter how far back in time the ‘new Shuichi’ could reload, he could never reload to a previous universe. His memories would be safe forever.

“Okay, but just so you know, I don’t like people who don’t pay a debt. You owe me! You better answer me after all this or I’ll never forgive you!” Kokichi pouted.

“Why shouldn’t I? I don’t lose anything explaining, what’s the worst thing you could you do if I tell you? Get mad? I’ll tell you, I promise, you are the only one who can confirm my suspicions.”

The next universes had to be delayed to the next day, since Shuichi was living with his family and it was getting too late. Also next week school was going to start and some of them still had summer homework to do. They were all meeting to get everything done before the end. Apparently it was Kaito’s idea, since he was the one that had yet to do anything since the start of the vacation. Kokichi normally would have not participate, because boring, but this time he didn’t mind, not if he could sit to Shuichi’s right like he belonged there and no one told him otherwise. Now, that was a nice feeling! Everyone had always tried to get him out of the room, or Shuichi himself had refused him, but no one seemed surprised by this.

The study session was nothing too interesting, the old Kokichi had done most of the work already, Kokichi finished the rest in about an hour, with some help from Kiibo and Shuichi. Shuichi had already finished everything, which forced Kokichi to ask himself if he had stolen all the work from someone and then pretended he had done it on his own. Maybe he already lived this gathering, got everything from it, and then reloaded back to pretend he was the smartest. Actually, it was so pointless and so obviously only useful in term of manipulating one’s image that Kokichi was sure he had done it. He tried to get an answer by looking at him with a raised eyebrow, Shuichi stared back for a few seconds, not understanding what he wanted. Then he seemed to get it, because he smiled mysteriously and pretended to start a conversation with Yumeno at the other side of the table. The little dick had done it on purpose, suggesting he was aware of the possibility, not telling him if it had actually been the case. Well, since Kokichi got to chose of his own free will what to believe, he believed that Shuichi cheated.

“Kaito, why have you waited until now? You knew we had so many!” asked Kiibo, after two hours, sounding tired.

This meeting had been the first half an hour to an hour a mutual exchange of information and help, the second hour had just been them helping Kaito catch up. Kokichi was a little perplexed on that, why do them all now with such desperation, if he thought they were important he should have spread them out in multiple days. It wasn’t really anything relevant, but he guessed he could ask.

“Yeah, Kaito, why wait until now? You should have just gone to school without them and take a punishment, that’s more your style!” he didn’t know for a fact what he had done the previous years, but that sounded like a thing, so he said it.

“Well, you know…” Kaito was waving a hand, covering part of his face with it, stumbling on his own words. “It would look bad…”

“It would look back?” Kokichi asked before realizing how stupid it was to repeat what someone else said.

“Ohh, Kaito has a crush!” sing-sang mockingly Kaede, sounding like the girly adolescent she shouldn’t be anymore since at least five years ago, but alas. “He is trying to look smart to impress his girl!”

Kaito became of an interesting shade of tomatoes red, it didn’t suit him very much, not with his purple hair. And to think people used to compare Kokichi’s beautiful hair color to his when they were little. Kokichi’s shade of dark purple was a delight, and when he blushed he looked as cute as a button, not like Kaito! And yes, these compliments were self-made, no one actually complimented his blush. But anyone would, if they saw! Not like Kaito.

“Ah, I hadn’t realized things were already so bad, you should have told us, we would have helped sooner!” Rantaro chimed in.

No to him. No intelligent person would tell _him_ about their crush. Kokichi had already learned his lesson on that one.

“Stop it, that’s not true! I just plan on going into a good university,  this will be our last semester, I just don’t want to—“ he tried to protest, but Kokichi wasn’t interested in his lies.

“So, who is it?” since they said ‘girl’ at the very least he could assume he wasn’t after Shuichi, which was already something all things considered.

“Harukawa.” Shuichi answered without a second thought.

“Not you too man!” Kaito protested vehemently raising his head to meet his eyes. “Don’t betray me you too! And how the hell would you know that?!”

“You realize that’s as good as a confession, yes?” Rantaro smirked.

“N-no it’s not! Get off my back, what do you want from me? It’s nothing, leave me alone!” Kaito’s blush had not faded yet.

“Aww, you don’t need to hide it, we pretty much all guessed already!” Kaede was smiling widely, sounding very annoying. “You two are cut together, I’m rooting for you!” she said closing her fists in front of her to communicate solidarity.

Kaito huffed left and right, not sure where to look, since apparently everyone in the room was in agreement about this. Kokichi didn’t know much about Harukawa, she had always remained in the background in all universes, he never spoke to her directly alone. He had only met her some times during groups outings and in the classroom. He could honestly not remember her saying or doing anything relevant to his life, other than align herself each time with the pro-Shuichi group. Last time he had met her she was one of his bodyguard, against the ‘terrible stalker, the horrible person that was making virgins cry’ Kokichi Ouma. Of course, excluding this universe, he had already seen her a couple time like back at the fair. She was a good looking girl, he guessed, with her long ponytails, but any kind of feminine charm she could have was ruined by her constant frown. That was all he knew about her. Personally he couldn’t see the appeal, but he hadn’t even looked so whatever, he wasn’t going to judge Kaito’s preferences just yet. How magnanimous he was, he was giving him the benefit of the doubt! See, he was growing just fine, one day he was going to become a fine young adult, full of good virtues.

After he left his own head to return to reality he noticed that Shuichi was studying him intensely with a ghost of a smile on his face. Kokichi raised an eyebrow at him. What was he looking at? Has Kokichi made some strange expression while he was thinking? It frustrated him that he couldn’t remember. He didn’t know what his face did while he was considering. He realized that he was so used not to care what he looked like that he hadn’t kept in check his face at all in the last few months. That could be a problem, he needed his poker face.

And he apparently wasn’t keeping it even now, since Shuichi seemed to read his mind and smiled, returning to his notes.


	26. 6th Playthrough

Shuichi seemed to be losing a little his stiffness, like he had decided something all by himself. Kokichi didn’t know what that decision had been, but this less business-like Shuichi was honestly way better than the other, who seemed both interested in intimidating him and get everything he wanted while not giving anything in exchange.

After the end of the study session, Shuichi walked him home and surprisingly started to talk a little about himself. Unprompted, he told him that Shuichi and the old Kokichi had met three years ago, before that they hadn’t known each other.

“Why is that important? People always meet in school years, unless we are childhood friend or our parents knew each other. Surely you have met many more people these last three years, not just me.” Kokichi commented, just to be difficult.

“Yeah, sure, but that’s not what I meant. I was waiting for you, searching for you. This is important, see. I spent almost fifteen years of my life asking myself and others who you were, if you existed at all.  I asked my parents, all my kindergarten friends, my elementary school friends, even my middle school friends, I asked anyone if they knew about someone named ‘Kokichi Ouma’. But of course, you dropped out of the blue my first year of high school, coming from a different town. I almost wanted to get mad at you, when you appeared that day in the class, already sitting at your desk without a care in the world, not knowing who I was when I approached you.” he had a smile on his face, like this was a very fond memory of his.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait! What? How did you know my name and were searching for me _when you were a kid?_ Before meeting me?” Kokichi stopped on his tracks.

Shuichi also stopped and looked at his feet for a long second.

“I don’t know how it works exactly, it’s the part of my power that I understand the least… But there are… fragments, in my mind. Fragments of information that I got when I was really little and are stuck into my brain. Some of them are the most random things ever, like some brands or colors, or food, or drinks, while others are abstract things that probably made sense for some situations but that have no real connection to anything that happened to me… I call them, Cheat Codes. I don’t know what they are, and I spent my whole life trying to figure out, and you were one of the few names on there. There was also Kaito, and Ryoma and Rantaro. I met Ryoma before anyone else, he was part of a sport club back in my middle school. Then I met Kaito on the last year of middle school. Rantaro appeared together with you, in high school. When I met them I knew my Cheat Codes were not bullshit, but that still did not explain many things. Like… what they are, where are they coming from, stuff like this. But you… you were the one thing I was waiting about the most.” only at the end he raised his eyes to meet Kokichi’s.

“…Why?” as all the times Shuichi was talking about his power, Kokichi was out of words.

“Because one of them, the only one, was really specific. It said ‘Keep an eye out for Ouma Kokichi’. And then there was another one that said ‘It’s all about him’.” he paused and looked away again. “I tried to connect all the things together, all my Cheat Codes with you, and it was difficult, not to say impossible. Before meeting you, I thought you would have all the answers, you would be a perfect match for all my fragments, but no, that was not the case. Not until _you_ came up.” he smiled at Kokichi. “Now I want to be certain. I need you to tell me everything so that I can confront it with all my fragments, and finally get some sense out of my life. You are the only one that can. Do you understand a little better now?”

“Yes… and no.” Kokichi answered truthfully, for once.

“Understandable. I’ll explain more next time, I told you I waited three years, I’m not letting you go. Sleep well!” he smiled one last time raised a hand and walked away.

Kokichi stared at his back for a little while longer, not sure if he wanted to pout or smile. Shuichi was giving him a strange emotion. He had decided not to let himself rely on him anymore, more out of vengeance than for any other logical reason. Yet talking to Shuichi, talking to _this_ Shuichi, was exciting. He was giving Kokichi all his attention, he was holding him more dear than anyone else, even though Kokichi just arrived in this dimension a few days ago. He hadn’t felt more _in the right place_ since a long while. There was no more right place for him, he had grown detached from this idea, this feeling, but sometimes he was hovering around it again. He had lost the childish conviction that he had to be protected and accepted, and while a big part of it was a lie, a lie to himself to keep him going, a part was real. Some things you just cannot throw behind your back and move on without consequences. So of course he still had some of that feeling, but it would never be whole again. It was a broken dream.

He was mad at himself, because he wasn’t supposed to be conditioned by Shuichi this much any longer, but at the same time he could not help but recognize in him a part of what he wanted, to be happy.

If Shuichi kept giving him so much attention and satisfaction, it was going to get dangerous soon.

True to be told, he had plaid this game of chase and conquest with him partially because he was positive it would never happen. It was never going to get real. So he had never thought about a real, honest, thoughtful _after._ What was after the chase and the conquest? He had no clear idea. He had not won anyone’s heart before, not by his own efforts. Even when he had a partner already, after the jump, it was definitely not because of his own ‘charm’. And in these cases, he had stayed away from them as much as he could, often jumping away a little earlier than needed, just because he didn’t want to deal with a fake girlfriend.

And here he was now, with a good chance of an after. Even in the Feminists world he hadn’t gotten this close, he had known in his heart that Shuichi still didn’t care about him. It was not what he wanted so there would be no after. But this was a little different.

It didn’t have to be love, it didn’t need to be. He wasn’t that self-conceived to think that Shuichi loved him, not at all, but at the same time he could feel that he was important for this Shuichi, just as much as he was for Kokichi. Maybe there wasn’t any love between them, but surely they were each other’s priority.

But what would Kokichi do if there was also some love involved? Would he like it or not? Did he like this Shuichi or not? Did he even love Shuichi in general at all? He wasn’t sure. Now somehow the chase was finished, it wasn’t going to happen anymore, here or anywhere else. Even after a jump Shuichi would already be waiting for him, if Shuichi was right. In that case it would be a reverse game of chase. It would be Shuichi chasing after him.

He hadn’t forgotten about his previous universe, where he was blind. Shuichi himself approached him, using Kiibo. The probability of it being a new trend was very high. He had changed so suddenly that Kokichi got scared of it, but considering everything, now it was starting to make sense. Shuichi was right, by confronting their stories together they were going to get an almost full picture.

His Cheat Codes were bonkers, by the way. They were crossing universes, following along with Kokichi? How was that making sense? It was very crazy, and what Shuichi said? That the reason why they were always meeting was because Shuichi linked the two together? Was it possible? Was it possible that Shuichi linked him with his power, forcing them to meet, while Kokichi was linking Shuichi by giving him these fragments of old universes? It seemed to fit, but logically speaking it didn’t make too much sense.

But while Shuichi seemed very interested in having a complete and logical understanding of his power in its entirety, Kokichi wasn’t as interested. He himself had never tested some parts of his power, he was almost feeling like it was a better thing to leave it a little shrouded in mystery, and he was more concerned about his numbers. If he didn’t learn anything else about himself it was fine by him, but learning about Shuichi was intriguing.

For now he would keep things going, but he had to be careful not to get too attached.

He walked the rest of the way to his apartment, his mind in a cloud. Even if he wanted to think about something else, or at least distract himself, he was always going back to Shuichi.

They had met three years ago? According to Shuichi’s story, he had searched for him since he was little, but he met him in the first year of high school. And he had been disappointed by him, _that_ Kokichi didn’t know anything. He could understand the frustration. He could understand the feeling of being the only one in the world to know something. The feeling of not knowing if he was the crazy one, or the only one with that spark that no one else had. It was an interesting logical exercise, wondering if he was actually mentally sick and he was dreaming it all. However, for the sake of progression, it had to remain a logical exercise. But he wondered what he had to go through, when he discovered that Kokichi was not what he was hoping for. What motivated him to keep going with this line of inquiry? Sure, his power had not left, so he had to live with it regardless, but he could have stopped there. He could have used it to cheat a little bit while having a normal life, without searching for another explanation. It wasn’t necessary to use it, or to live. No, he _wanted to know_ , with a passion. He had probably stared at Kokichi for hours, days, in hope to see him do something that would help his theory. He had understood that there was something different in him immediately, only a real stalker or a close friend would have got that small change in so little time.

How ironic, now Shuichi was his stalker.

That thought was making a smile appear on his lips, against his will. He was annoyed with himself for falling for it, but at the same time he just loved this feeling of having power over people, Shuichi even better.

In two days the school was going to resume, and he already knew they were in the same class. He didn’t know if they were able to choose where to sit or not, it mostly depended on the school, but he was hoping a little to be sitting next to him, so that at least he could kill the boredom quite well. His instruction was almost complete anyway, and he wasn’t trying to go any higher with college and stuff, so soon that bother would be over, at least in this universe. In all the others it would depend on old Kokichi’s choices. Being it last year of compulsory school hopefully they wouldn’t force them to sit in specific rows, like in elementary school. They were grown enough to be able to socialize even without this expedient. The reason why the seats were assigned in the first place was to force people to socialize always with different people and giving a harder time to bullies. One would think that a eighteen years old student was mature enough to take care of himself.

His uniform was inside the closet, he had already seen it a while ago. Just like every school was handling the seat arrangement differently, the uniforms were a big difference between one school and all the others. Girls were often choosing a school based on how ‘cute’ an uniform was, while males were a little less interested, but they still didn’t want to have one of those plains, loser-looking uniforms. Kokichi in particular was forced four of five times into one of those, and he had hated them, they were even worst on him. The black ones weren’t doing his hair and skin tone any favor. He was small and short, with his hair color it seemed like he was an emo nine years old kid. brown or blue uniforms were much better, but the best ones were the light colored ones. Like sand color, light blue, green or even light red sometimes. The only colors that Kokichi was absolutely refusing to wear were pink and yellow. These were repulsive on him.

This uniform was… different. He had never seen one like this. It was white, not a shining white, it was a shade darker than that, it was slightly grayish. But not actually gray, it was definitely white. To be honest, it was almost like it was a little dirty or something. If he hadn’t seen Kiibo’s uniform and testified that it was the same color he would have brought it to the laundry. Good thing it wasn’t stark white, he didn’t know how he would have felt about that, and it was getting dirty too easily. But what sold the uniform, for Kokichi, were the black decorations. Around the sleeves, on the collar, at the bottom of the jacket and pants, plus around the pockets were black lines, sometimes ending in a small curl or in a pointy arrow. They were making the whole uniform feel more fancy, more costly, more luxurious. It was making quite a statement, as exhibitionist assholes, and it seemed the kind of thing everyone would look with malevolent eyes. Just the kind of things Kokichi liked.

As far as Shuichi told him, it wasn’t actually a rich-kids kind of school, but it was taking itself very seriously. The fee wasn’t too high and the people in it were as random as they could get, but effort was encouraged strongly. There were many clubs, and some of them had a big title, like they were regional champions of this and that, something along these lines. Shuichi told him that the chess and shogi clubs were quite famous, but this year the chess one had lost the title, and everyone had cried about it at school. There were also sports clubs, of course, but those weren’t as good. It seemed that this school was more into academics, art or various talents. There also seemed to be a modeling club, according to Shuichi they were trying to create an Eiffel Tower with black painted matches.

Clubs were compulsory, you had to be part in one, so Kokichi was a member of the Literature Club. Shuichi was a member as well, and even if he didn’t answer when Kokichi asked, he was pretty sure he had entered it because he wanted to follow Kokichi around after school. Kokichi wasn’t complaining. The others were in clubs as well. Kaito was a part of the baseball team, and they were having a friendly training when Kokichi almost died the other day with that ball. Apparently Kaito was struggling to keep his position, and considering that sports clubs weren’t all that competitive in the school Kokichi was wondering just how bad of a player he was in reality. Kiibo, instead, was a member of a very interesting club; the robot club. They were building and making fight small robots in a competition against other schools, and they were also champions on a regional level. This year they were aiming for nationals. It sounded very cool on paper, but it was a very mental and menial work to have these robots just a little bit better than the others, so for Kokichi it was too slow a hobby. He would get too impatient after three days and abandon. Rantaro was, for some reason, a part of the tailoring club. Kokichi didn’t investigate any further. Hoshi was a part of the shogi club, he was one of the ace players. Kokichi didn’t care enough about the girls to ask about their clubs.

Kokichi wasn’t completely sure about the Literature Club thingy. He didn’t dislike reading, but gaming was better, and it all depended and what kind of reading. Classics weren’t really his thing. He had asked Shuichi, but it seemed that things like Manga Club or Gaming Club were not really encouraged. They existed, but they weren’t encouraged. Apparently it was a ‘not really useful for your future and not really cultured’ kind of stereotype. It wasn’t all that surprising if the school was trying to have an appeal for ‘serious genius students’ but Kokichi wasn’t all that impressed.

Well, there would be time to worry about that later, for now his priorities were elsewhere.

The next day they met in the same training camp where Kokichi got knocked out by the baseball. Kaito was planning to train again a little with Rantaro and Hoshi, who was very fast, despite his size. Kaito was batting, Rantaro pitching, Hoshi and Kiibo were in the field. Kokichi had been ‘excused’ which was the way they trying to cover for the fact that they didn’t trust him in the field anymore. They didn’t want a repeat. Kokichi accepted gladly, not only because he didn’t trust himself, but also because he didn’t trust Kaito with that bat. He almost murdered him once, and now his reflexes weren’t even as good, so he didn’t want to be sent to the hospital a second time. Shuichi was supposed to be in the field as well, but he had excused himself. No one said anything, no one seemed to know what the hell was going on with between him and Kokichi, and they seemed to have reached an agreement to mind their own business.

It was time to continue with the narration of the past.

After they had completed their first meeting there were a plethora of other small, useless universes. Kokichi wasn’t sure how much of those he needed to reveal. He didn’t even remember them all that much. He knew he had started his Shuichi-obsession in that period of time, but the only thing he could remember was a mashing of moments in which Kokichi has spied on him, or tried to make contact with him, failing. He didn’t remember the specifics of these universes. In that period, his memory was still quite good, so he hadn’t thought yet about writing the number and the particularities down. He had started after jumping twenty three times in a single year. By then, he realized he was going to lose count fast, if he didn’t start being a little more careful. But even then, he wrote down the number, which was progressive so no problem, and only the last universe particularity, not _all of them._ What that meant was, of course, that in time everything got forgotten, every particularity he wrote down.

Only Shuichi had mattered then.

And to tell him this, well, it was a little embarrassing.


	27. 6th Playthrough

He mashed everything together.

The boundaries of what happened in one universe or the next were too blurry, so he gave up on that, only explaining the most important events. He jokingly tossed in the conversation the fact that he had confessed more than ninety times, and that he got rejected each time. He made sure to sound like he had done it for a laugh, not for real. It wasn’t convincing, at all, because who in the whole wide world would confess ninety times for a laugh to the same person? At least space out a little there… But Shuichi didn’t comment, and Kokichi glossed over it quickly, focusing more on the difficulties the two of them always had communicating.

He also made sure to notify every time Shuichi already had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, hopefully to make him feel uncomfortable. It was working a little, considering his expression was shifting a little bit each time, like he wanted Kokichi to skip over that part of the narration. Kokichi couldn’t blame him, but making him unfairly feeling uncomfortable for something he didn’t even do was kind of fun. Also he couldn’t skip it, since most of the events were related to Kokichi trying to separate them or get them to break up. Or simply annoy his partners to death, hoping they would implode. He didn’t exactly put it in these terms, to him, simply explaining how him having a partner was making things even more shitty. And often an already coupled up Shuichi was even more difficult to handle, because he was even less tolerant of him and his antics.

Kokichi honestly could not see how any of this was going to help, since considering what Shuichi himself said, his Cheat Codes were very random. It needed to be some very specific situation to fit in, and without knowing what they were, Kokichi couldn’t know if he was doing it properly.

He had asked Shuichi to tell him all the Cheat Codes, so that he could connect them himself, but Shuichi had smirked. He said…

“No, then I would need to trust you. You could shape your stories the way you want to make them fit or not. As long as you don’t know, I can trust that you are being more or less sincere.”

Kokichi pouted.

“And how am I supposed to know if what you are telling me is the truth? I would know what kind of Cheat Codes you have, you could lie through your teeth about them! You could be trying to scam me!”

“Why would I do that? I would need to create Cheat Codes that align with your stories, and for what reason? Make you think we are fated or something? That’s something you seem to be pretty convinced of yourself, and as I said, I think it was because of my Cheat Codes. It doesn’t really matter how many Cheat Codes I discover the source, because what’s important is the general course of actions. Some of the Cheat Codes I already identified, I don’t know what convinced me to register them, because any one event concerning that person could be the right one. It doesn’t matter. It just matters that I understand why I registered it.”

“…Registered it?”

“Yeah, I chose to register my Cheat Codes. It seems like I can choose to save a single element to share across universes. I mean, at the start I thought it was something like… keeping that memory even when reloading constantly I could potentially lose it, a little like a safety measure, but now I don’t think that’s it anymore. My Cheat Codes aren’t about things I lived, they are about another life, and since obviously it can’t be reincarnation since you are here… The only thing I can think of, is that they are supposed to be shared across. I don’t know yet how and why… but this is what makes the most sense. This is why I need you, as I already said. I want to know why I chose to register all these things, since they are very… one-sided.”

“One-sided? Ah! They are all about me!” Kokichi said, leaning toward him with a smirk.

Shuichi seemed conflicted, he wanted to deny but he couldn’t because that seemed to be the case.

“I—We are not sure yet, maybe not. Actually, I will never really know what I saved and why, I can only guess!” he looked the other way leaning away to make space between them. “Maybe I saved things about you only half the time, maybe it’s just coincidence!”

“Oh, don’t go shy on me now! We know I’m right! After all you yourself said that one of the Cheat Codes is saying that it’s all about me!” he snickered as Shuichi was still refusing to meet his eyes, his skin tone was a little more intense than usual. It was kind of cute. “Honestly though… how do you know about this function? When do you choose what to register? Have you already registered something for this one?”

“I don’t know how to explain. Just as I know about Saving and Loading, I know about creating a Save State. Save States are independent from my actual save file, they are separated and I have only a slot. I can’t use them to reload, it’s just something I set in stone for myself. I haven’t registered one yet, since I didn’t see the point. I already had all I wanted and I haven’t found anything new. I mean, I could create one right now, confirming that you have what we need… we being me and my other selves in all universes… but I would rather wait a little longer and potentially register something like an explanation, if I ever get one.” he shrugged.

“And the Save States from another universe… you call them Cheat Codes. Correct?”

“Yes, exactly. Since they ‘predict the future’, in a way, they are like cheating.”

“But considering that you knew them since you were a little kid…they had to be registered like… 18 years ago. That many years ago I was barely alive myself. That doesn’t make sense.”

“You said you don’t jump in time, but only in space… You always land in the same day you started. But what if when you do, time actually freezes for you? Like… each time you jump you are born, but the conscience of your power won’t wake up until you are of the same age. So instead of living multiple lives in different universes… you live only once at a time, and you have to wait until… your brain is as big as when you jumped, or something…” he sounded unsure.

“That’s a very farfetched theory… Very convoluted and out there.” Kokichi teased him.

“I was just trying to make everything fit! Create your own theory if you don’t like mine!” Shuichi said, sounding piqued.

“Nope, thank you! I don’t want to waste my time on this, none of it makes sense, if you ask me. Your power is even more bullshit than mine. Why do you need a Save State, if you only can remember one universe at a time? It doesn’t make sense to me.” it was Kokichi’s turn to shrug.

They both were silent for a while. In the field the guys were screaming and fussing around constantly, Kokichi was getting fatigued just looking at them. It seemed that Kaito was being loud and obnoxious both when he was hitting the ball and when he was missing, which basically meant that he was screaming every two minutes, to be generous. Rantaro was also shouting, to get him to focus, or keep his eyes on the ball or something. And the others weren’t silent either, all complaining about the direction the ball took or other various reasons, like it being too hot or them being thirsty. Kokichi’s mind wasn’t as easily entertained as he would have liked, so they provided just a few moments of distraction, before he was again thinking back to their conversation.

He could understand his interest in connecting everything, and it was fun to discuss, but Kokichi wasn’t convinced they would ever find a clear answer. They weren’t even trying to answer the question ‘why us?’ after all. And who gave these powers to them, either. There was just too much that they would never understand. Why would Shuichi needed Save States was another big mystery, while it was making the power level between them much fairer. Neither of them had a power stronger than the other, but both could trick the other into submission, if they wanted. Kokichi also wondered if all the Save State that this Shuichi knew were saved when Kokichi was present, or if there were also things from universes he never visited. Shuichi himself would never know, let alone Kokichi.

Realistically, it was impossible.

“You mentioned that you think our powers are liked. This would be a great time to expand on that topic.” he said, breaking the silence.

“Hm.” Shuichi nodded. “Yes. You are right. I guess this was enough. Have you narrated every universe that you think it was relevant?”

“Yeah, yeah. I mean, I jumped two hundred times, at this point I don’t remember most of them.” he dismissed it.

It was a partial lie, he had not said everything relevant. He had not said anything about the last three yet. They were more… personal. To explain those, Kokichi needed to explain a little about his feelings, and it wasn’t the time yet. Shuichi had done nothing to deserve it, yet.

“Alright. So, I already told you about my power, about Save States, about how I was searching for you… And about how important it was, for me, to meet you. As I said the reason was the Cheat Codes which now we know are my alternative selves Save States. As you mentioned, the first few universes you don’t remember meeting me, but then you always met me after the first one. The first time we met it seems to have made a strong impact, both on you and I, so I don’t doubt that my Save State could have been about you. Let’s assume so, at least. If that’s the case, it’s possible you met me again because of the Save State itself. It’s possible that while your power activated, I somehow attracted you toward me again, somewhere else. After all you don’t really decide where to go, do you? Aside from jumping, it doesn’t seem like you have much control over it. As we said, I knew my Cheat Codes since I was a child. It’s very much possible that both you and I start a new life each time, and while you don’t travel in time, I do. So for me, my power activates immediately, while you have to wait. And that’s not all…” he paused a moment.

Kokichi was seeing his reasoning, but he cared very little for the actual, mechanical reason. He was convinced already, Shuichi didn’t need to say anything more, because the more he was adding the less he was convinced that this was as intended. It was maybe just Shuichi trying hard to make everything have sense. For Kokichi, the powers knew what they were doing, and if it was a coincidence then it was a good coincidence. That was all.

“As you mentioned,” Shuichi continued, “many people were present many different times, in many different places. I have a Cheat Code about Kaito, one about Kaede and one about a person called ‘Shinguji’, I haven’t met him yet but—“

“And let’s hope you never do.” Kokichi casually tossed in.

He hadn’t said the name of his kidnappers because it was irrelevant, and knowing that he wasn’t around could only be a blessing.

“…Okay. Anyway, I think it’s all related. I think that you and I both are meeting the same people over and over again, probably because I Saved them. I think… yes, I think you are giving birth to the new world, while I am shaping it.”

Kokichi stared at him with his mouth open. He had no idea Shuichi was able to say something so arrogant sounding with a straight face. Kokichi made a hiccupping sound in between bewilderment and amusement.

“Oh, am I god now, am I not? How lovely!”

Shuichi blushed, snapping out of his thoughts unpleasantly.

“That’s not what I meant! I just meant in the context of… oh, whatever.” he rubbed his cheek, definitely embarrassed. “You are not taking me seriously at all.”

Kokichi smiled widely, feeling in a greater mood then since a long while.

“You are very cute, darling, but you are also quite stupid.” he just could not stop himself from mocking him right now, he was begging him to, honestly.

“Wha—!” his face froze in an expression of outrage for a moment. “I’m sorry, it seems to me that I’m definitely more intelligent than you!”

Kokichi laughed loudly, almost bending over. As soon as he recovered he poked Shuichi’s cheek.

“Now I recognize you! Here it is, first universe Shuichi making a spectacular comeback! Took you only… four years! Not bad!”

Shuichi slapped away his poking finger.

“Oh, shut up!”

He was still blushing. And Kokichi was still grinning like an idiot. Now, this was an ideal fun situation!

Until Kaito, dripping sweat, dropped on the bench next to them with a long snort, ruining the scene. Kokichi glared at him, mentally searching for the best way to kill him.

“Hey, you two! Taking a siesta? Should I bring you a drink?” he said, his tone not really sarcastic, but a little resentful.

“Yes, thank you, a grape Panta, iced.” Kokichi turned toward Shuichi, on the opposite side, ignoring Kaito’s existence.

He scoffed, ignoring him in turn, and addressed Shuichi.

“Come play man! The sun is setting, it’s not so hot anymore.” he sounded almost pleading now, inviting. “Lately you two are spending all your time together alone. I know you two are best friends, but lately you are exaggerating a little.”

“Sounds almost like you are envious. Or jealous. Are you jealous? Do you like me? I thought you liked Harukawa, but you like me instead! You should have told me!” Kokichi clapped his hands together with a huge smile, faking joy. “Sure, I’ll date you! I’ll date you for a few days at least!”

Shuichi and Kaito both sent him a perplexed and tired glance. Kokichi couldn’t help but smirk. They weren’t used to this kind of Kokichi, he had never acted this way in this universe before. He was doing it now because he was getting in a good mood again.

“Who wants to date you? I don’t.” Kaito shot him down without a second thought.

“Aww… Don’t get my hopes up then! What are you jealous for?”

“I’m not jealous of anything!” Kaito raised his voice enough that he was borderline shouting. “It’s just that you are ignoring us and it feels a little wrong. I always knew that you two have a preferential relationship but right now it’s like you two are the only ones in this world.”

“Because we are.” said Kokichi, completely honest.

Kaito opened his mouth to comment to that, but Shuichi interrupted.

“Sorry Kaito, I know that you are feeling uneasy about many things but you are not alone, there are plenty of people who will listen to you.”

Kaito closed his mouth slowly.

“… Are you two going out?” he asked, after a long silence.

Kokichi was used to immediate answers, to toss out the first thing that popped into his mind. But this time he stopped his urge, refusing to answer. He wanted to see how this would evolve without his input.

“That’s not relevant in the least right now. I just didn’t want to play and I wanted to speak with him, but if it’s so important for you, then I can play with you.” Shuichi stood up.

“I’m not coming.” Kokichi immediately stood his ground.

Kaito didn’t say anything more and walked away first while Shuichi lingered behind.

“Sorry, this is my fault, now I know better.” he said, rubbing his neck. Kokichi started to ask for clarification but Shuichi gave it without prompt. “I misunderstood my Cheat Code. It was ‘Kaito’s presence’ so I thought it was something that you cared about. I was the one to approach Kaito at first, to become his friend. You didn’t react at all at him at first, but you didn’t react about anything, so I wasn’t surprised. Now I know that it meant the opposite. It was something you didn’t like. Actually most of my Cheat Codes are something I should avoid, now I know. So, sorry. Didn’t mean to force Kaito onto you.”

Kokichi raised an eyebrow. Apologizing? That was a first. Also, interesting that most of his Cheat Codes were things that Kokichi hated. It was funny. Shuichi had clearly tried to suggest ways to keep Kokichi at a distance across universes, the little bastard. Now it was turning all on its head because he was going for the opposite result. Way to go.

“As long as you keep him at a distance, I’m good.” he shrugged.

“Okay.” Shuichi smiled one last time then joined the others in the field.

Kokichi leaned back into the bench and rested his head on his hands.

Shuichi didn’t confirm they were going out.

But he didn’t deny either.


	28. 6th Playthrough

“There is something you haven’t told me.”

Shuichi had invited himself inside Kokichi’s house after the training. It was late evening, and Kokichi had already ordered pizza on his phone to eat for dinner.

“There is also something you haven’t told me, what are you planning on wearing?” Kokichi asked, scratching his head looking around without knowing what to do. “Seriously, taking a shower here, what is wrong with you to coming up with this idea?”

Shuichi smiled and ignored his last sentence.

“I have a change, I brought a spare for training, just in case, now I can wear that to sleep.”

“Wait, are you also planning to sleep here?!” Kokichi snapped out of his confusion.

“I thought that was obvious.”

Well, it wasn’t for Kokichi! No one informed him of this! His house wasn’t even that clean, not at all in fact, and where was he supposed to sleep? In Kokichi’s futon? Where was Kokichi going to sleep, on the couch? Seriously, no one told him anything about this!

“Are you taking advantage of little old me? You are paying for your pizza, no actually, you are giving me back my money for both of our pizza and you are sleeping on the couch. Also, I want some money for the wasted water and the heating system. I’m not a hotel! Get your room if you want to sleep fancy!” Kokichi accused him without a hint of accusation in his tone.

Shuichi just ignored him to return to the previous topic.

“There is something you haven’t told me. What happened that convinced me to create a Save State saying that it was you the person I was searching for? I somehow found out that you were the one by my own, for sure, so what happened?” as he was saying that he was still preparing the bathroom to his liking, choosing from Kokichi’s towels and bath soap.

It was mildly distracting. Or maybe high-medium level distracting.

“I’m not sure about that myself, you never confronted me like this.” but even as he said that, he knew it wasn’t completely true.

In the previous universe Shuichi had clearly tried to get something out of him, in a very weird way. So by then he already knew it was Kokichi, for some reason. He immediately tried something, using Kiibo as a tool, maybe he even tried before the jump, Kokichi wouldn’t know. What happened before that?

“Well, in this case it probably happened in the last jump. What happened?” Shuichi was following his train of thought very closely, without knowing.

Shuichi opened the faucet, preparing the hot tub. Once again Kokichi, who was on the doorstep, was slightly distracted.

“… Last universe you tried to get frisky with me.” he answered, not completely honest, nor completely lying. Shuichi’s hand paused mid-movement for a second, then he kept going like nothing happened. “No, seriously! You totally took advantage of me!” he gave it another push.

“… Well, in that case, something happened before that, don’t you think?” he said, his tone was of a fake flat, Kokichi could hear a little contempt in his voice.

 “Hmm, well, before that you tried to corrupt me. You tried to buy my silence by going out with me. I refused, of course. I accept night-stands but I don’t like to have a leach that’s bribing as well, that’s a real drag.” he pretended to be checking his nails.

Shuichi straightened up but didn’t turn his way, maybe he was hiding his face. The water was still running in the background, and the steam was filling the room of humidity. Kokichi had lied, before that there was the universe where he punched him. The camp one.

“Are you messing with me?! Why all the previous universes involve me doing something to you?! What the hell happened?!” he sounded a strange mix of worried and incredulous.

“I don’t know. You should ask your doppelganger. We were having a nice date at the aquarium, then you started saying nonsense.” Kokichi shrugged.

“Wait, we were having a date but we weren’t dating…? What the hell were we doing?” this time he turned to look at him.

“You were already in a relationship with Rantaro by then, you had a date with me because you said ‘you were making me a little curious’. So there is that.” he enjoyed a lot the look of disconcert that appeared on Shuichi’s face.

Shuichi scratched his head, ruffling his hair a little, in silence. He seemed to be reflecting on the situation.

“I was searching for you.” he said in the end, his tone a lot more cheery that Kokichi was expecting, considering his previous reaction.

“Ah?” Kokichi instinctively reacted by making a confused sound.

“I was searching for you! But I didn’t know It was you! I said that you made me curious, which means that I was searching for the right person and I thought you may be a worthy candidate! That may have been the universe where I realized first! What happened then? How did it end?”

“It ended that you were shitting all over me. You said that you’d rather have Rantaro who was easier to manipulate than me, who was smelling of trouble. It ended that I punched you in the face,” that happened next universe, but it didn’t matter, fusing the two of them was just fine, the reason was the same anyway, “because I was fed up with you and your shit talk. Then for some reason you started changing direction very suddenly, trying to buy my silence by ‘allowing me to date you’ or something. You were really a lunatic in that instance.”

Kokichi stared hard into his face, eager to see shame and embarrassment in it. That little narration was really unflattering for Shuichi.

“Ah! I can imagine what happened!” …and yet instead of feeling shame, Shuichi seemed intrigued. “I probably tried to drop you there, because you were being annoying, but then you retaliate in some way. Considering that I tried to bribe you… I think you tried to ruin completely my reputation with the others or something. Then I reloaded back and I tried to stop you, before you could do it. I can only assume that my previous save was too far away in time, so I ended up returning there instead…” he covered his mouth with one hand, thinking. “It happens sometimes, that I save with too much time in between. If it does happen I tend not to like to go so far back, so I make do. That’s probably what happened there. I seemed like a lunatic to you, because I returned from some days in the future and I had already changed idea since then. I recognize this scenario, it happened to me as well before.”

Kokichi’s mouth had dropped open, but he hurried to close it. It made so much fucking sense that he got annoyed. It really did go that way, no doubt about it. Kokichi had, for a fraction of second, thought about ruining his life as retaliation, the next second Shuichi immediately tried to sugarcoat him. So _it did_ happen, but Shuichi stopped him before he could, by reloading. That was really frustrating. It turned out that all Kokichi’s irritation was caused by the fact that Shuichi stopped his outburst on its birth, forcing him to swallow it.

“…I’m very irritated right now. Just so you know.” so he said it.

Shuichi snapped out of his thoughts and blinked two times, like he had just remembered that Kokichi was indeed in the room with him.

“Oh. Well, I guess that could happen.” he said, showing a remarkable lack of sympathy.

“Yes, fuck you?” Kokichi asked with sarcasm.

Shuichi smirked to himself.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s nothing personal, it’s just that I’m used to people feeling that my power is unfair. Not that they know, but the can sense it. They can sense when something suddenly turns the wrong way for them. I’m used to that feeling of theirs, so it doesn’t affect me too much. And it’s useless for me to apologize for what happened with you, I didn’t do it. My other self did. It was a mistake, he hadn’t understood that it was you just yet, but I cannot blame him for it. Which means…” he turned toward the bathtub, then he glanced at Kokichi and then turned again, his words a little slow, like he was thinking about something else completely in the meantime. “It means that I saved something, in that universe, that made me want to know more about you, in the next one. You said I wanted to ‘get frisky’ with you there, yes?”

Almost on cue with what he was saying, he took off his t-shirt, still turned, giving Kokichi his naked back.

Okay, this was highly distracting now.

“Ah-hm, yeah…” he stuttered, not sure if he should turn, leave or what. “In the next one I…”

Kokichi paused, not sure how much he wanted to share about that. He almost wanted to leave out the fact that he had been blind, but that would basically strip the universe of all its sense, so he had to include it. And considering how little he cared until now, he didn’t think that Shuichi would feel ashamed of what he did while Kokichi was defenseless. In the meantime, Shuichi had entered the bathtub. Kokichi wasn’t looking, because no matter how much he could pretend to be shameless, he wasn’t _that_ shameless, but he heard the sound. He turned briefly, shocked that Shuichi had actually decided to ignore his presence, then he turned back immediately when he met Shuichi’s eyes. In that brief second Kokichi saw only a part of his chest, and it was enough to make heat boil below the skin of his neck. He turned also to hide that blushing before he could notice and ruin his reputation.

“You can continue, I’m listening.” Shuichi said, like he was worried that Kokichi didn’t know if he was still listening.

Kokichi mentally cursed, he wasn’t expecting to have to keep the conversation going in this situation. Seriously, what was he doing there? Couldn’t they talk later, after the bath? Why was Shuichi allowing him to stay, no, basically encouraging him to stay? What kind of plot or strange kink was this one? Maybe he enjoyed being seen naked, who knows.

Nevertheless, Kokichi turned to give him his back completely and sat down on the floor. A position that allowed him to be more focused.

“The next one is the last before this one. In that universe I was blind. Completely. It was an experience, that’s for sure. Anyway, you were a sexual predator and took advantage of me.” he added the last sentence purposefully to be mean.

After a short silence Shuichi finally reacted.

“Okay, what actually happened?”

“Why are you already assuming that I’m lying?!” Kokichi protested.

“Because no matter what, I’m absolutely positive that wouldn’t happen. So what actually happened?”

Kokichi pouted a moment but he hadn’t really excepted this to work in the first place.

“Well, I didn’t lie completely, you took advantage of my blindness for your own reasons, that I think now I understand better. I think you are right, you saved something about me, because of that you convinced Kiibo to play at the beach with me while you were spying on us. It was very creepy, to be honest. In the end even Kiibo, notoriously a laid back guy, wondered what the hell were you up to. You basically tried what you are trying now, but with less courage involved. You had someone else do it in your place, instead of confronting me directly.” he didn’t care that it sounded offensive.

“I see. Yes, I can see this coming from me, I’m not too surprised. I wasn’t certain so I used a trick that would allow me to get away easily if I wanted to. But why are you so obsessed with me wanting to get frisky with you?”

“I was half naked, and you had to touch me to guide me around.”

True to be told, it had been Kokichi who took advantage of the situation to touch all the skin that he could. Not that he was admitting that to him.

“Ah, well, then I don’t feel guilty anymore.”

Kokichi clicked his tongue. Like he had ever felt guilty in the first place!

“Happy now? There is nothing else, really. You were searching for the source of your Save States and you found me by chance. This is how it went. Now you can build as many explanations as you want on that knowledge, I think I’m done with it.”

“Yes, I’m pretty happy as well. Now I feel much better. There are still unclear points, but there is no rush.” he fell silent, and Kokichi heard the water moving around in the bathtub. He got up and prepared to leave. The discussion was over, and this situation was weird, so he was retreating now. “Wait.” but Shuichi called him back.

“What now?”

“…What do we do now?” an unexpected question.

Kokichi, momentarily forgetting, turned to look at him. Shuichi looked back without any hint of shame.

“What do we do? Are we supposed to do something about it?”

“Well… You know. Should we… keep living like nothing happened? Pretending that we are no different from the others? I…” he dropped his gaze and hugged his knees. Kokichi turned immediately, afraid to see some forbidden things by accident. “I try to act like that, always. But meeting you helped me breathe, like I finally had a reason to be the way I am. I felt more alive. Don’t you feel the same way?”

Kokichi didn’t answer immediately. If he had ever felt like he wasn’t really living, like everything was useless? Of course he had, almost every day. Shuichi had been his reason to keep going all this time. He could completely understand where he was coming from. Yet what could he say to this? It wasn’t like they had found a solution or anything, they had just found… each other? More or less. Not even that, to be honest. They weren’t all that close after all, they weren’t even really counting on one another. Kokichi couldn’t trust him, he was afraid he would reload now, now that he had found all his answers. So even now... nothing had really changed. Kokichi was still alone. He had just found out that there was another ‘special person’ around. A special person that he couldn’t trust and that didn’t trust him in turn. Maybe this was actually worst. After all, before knowing all this, Shuichi was reassuring, because he was limited. Now that was not the case anymore, now they were on even ground, and that was a little scary.

Kokichi suddenly felt sad. Like he had just lost a friend he didn’t realize he had had.

“Nothing, what do you think we should do? Nothing really changed. It’s not like we are best friends now. We barely even know each other. If anything, it’s more like we are fated rivals or something. So nothing changed.”

He left the bathroom, this time Shuichi didn’t call him back.

He went to his bedroom and prepared his futon. He didn’t care anymore where Shuichi was sleeping, he could take care of himself, surely. He limited himself to throw out of the closet some sheets and blankets, then he dropped them on the small table of the living room. He could sleep anywhere he wanted. Kokichi wanted to take a shower, but he refused to do it with Shuichi around and he especially refused to wait for him to be done. If they weren’t friends, then they shouldn’t be acting like they were either.

He returned to his room, changed into his underwear and buried himself under the blanket. He couldn’t sleep though, he was wide awake. The idiotic sadness had not left just yet, and he found himself focused on the noises in the other room. He listened in to the shower, then to the water being drained from the bathtub, and then for the hairdryer to stop running. When the door opened Kokichi closed his eyes shut, pretending to be sleeping. He listened to his steps back and forth two times in the short hallways, then frowned when he felt him enter the bedroom, uninvited. Shuichi dropped everything that Kokichi prepared on the floor, next to his futon, and after some fumbling around he lied down as well. Kokichi was a little irritated that he chose this spot in particular, but he didn’t stop pretending to be sleeping, not even to tell him to go away.

They lied down in silence and darkness, next to each other.


	29. 6th Playthrough

“We both completed the previous round. We both gave the answer.”

After a while Shuichi’s voice sounded in the darkness. Kokichi’s eyes snapped open, in surprise. He wasn’t sleeping, not exactly, but he was positive Shuichi wouldn’t say anything anymore. That he was feeling the same kind of awkwardness that he was feeling, so he had sunken deep in thoughts, almost forgetting that he was there. His voice was unexpected, so Kokichi snapped back to awareness in a second.

“Shouldn’t we decide on the next round? I have a question for you.” silence fell again, as Shuichi was waiting for him to react. Kokichi didn’t say anything and didn’t move either, still turned the other way, so Shuichi kept going. “Do you dislike me?”

Kokichi blinked two times. This was his question? Or was just his reaction to Kokichi not reacting? Either way, it was an odd question. Since when had he cared about that?

“Not really, I don’t dislike you, it’s you that hates me.” Kokichi answered.

“…You didn’t follow the rules, you were supposed to ask a question and then we would agree to answer.” Kokichi shrugged. Shuichi sighed. “Is it normal for you to drop a game midway? I would think you liked to keep them going for a while, until they weren’t even fun anymore. Whatever, in a way it’s better like this.” Kokichi pouted, not happy with how he turned it on him so easily. “But I don’t hate you, I don’t know about the others me you met, but I certainly don’t hate you. I don’t even know what gave you this idea.”

“Well then, do you like me?” by the rule of the game he was allowed a question now, and if he claimed to not hate him, then he should be able to answer this question.

Kokichi heard some ruffling behind his back, as Shuichi was changing his position.

“I don’t know you well enough to say if I like you or not. I still don’t understand your personality so well, you can be confusing and really moody sometimes… But I’m willing to make the effort, if you want me to.”

Kokichi turned to lie on his back, so he could look his direction. Shuichi had propped himself up on his elbow and was looking at him from above. Surprised by his willingness to confront these topics Kokichi felt his need to tease return.

“Really? You are willing to make an effort to know me?” Kokichi smirked. “That sounds somewhat dirty, which would explain why you were trying to get me to peep on you earlier…” he tried to sound seductive. “Is that what you meant by making an effort to know me? I can believe that. After all you visited me past midnight already, which is also a ballsy move. If that’s your objective you should just tell me, you know?”

“Is this the only way you have to get close to people? It’s an honest question, I seriously don’t know how you think. Do you really mean what you are saying?”

They looked at each other in silence for a moment, but not too much or Shuichi would think he didn’t know how to answer. Which was true, but that didn’t mean Shuichi should know that. He didn’t really mean it, most of his sexy talks were just shit talks, but at the same time he wasn’t _especially opposed._ He wasn’t sure if he liked or not the idea of having a purely physical relationship. It could be fun, but also another of the meaningless things that he could add to the pile. At the same time, he also knew, by this point, that it would take a stupid amount of effort and time to build a decent relationship with Shuichi. They were both too stuck on their high horses to reach down for someone else that way. Both of them were only able to build fake relationships, not genuine ones. So why not take at least this, since he could?

Assuming that Shuichi wouldn’t back away immediately.

Kokichi propped himself up as well, facing Shuichi really closely with his omnipresent smirk. Their noses were almost touching. Since he didn’t move Kokichi placed his other hand on the side of Shuichi’s face, cupping a little his cheek. He still didn’t move.

“Who knows. That could also depend on what you think about it. Do you think this is the only way to get closer?”

Now it was Shuichi’s turn to remain silent for a few seconds, considering. Kokichi kept staring at him in the eyes, but Shuichi wasn’t seeing him anymore, his eyes fixed on a spot on Kokichi’s left. It was the first time Kokichi had the opportunity to stare into them from so up close and not having any bad consequences for it. His eyes were light and vivid, like he could find a lot more details with a single glance than most people could. It was probably true. They were nice looking eyes.

“No, but maybe.” Kokichi raised an eyebrow at that answer. What kind of conclusion had Shuichi reached? “This is definitely not the only way, but I can see why you would think so. It’s surely the fastest and more direct. It wouldn’t need to involve feelings or promises of any kind, and you could drop out of it any time. It’s a safety net. Little gain, little risk.”

That rubbed Kokichi the wrong way. It was like he had just called him a coward. That wasn’t very nice.

He closed the distance, touching forehead with him. Shuichi’s eyes snapped back into his, but it was more uncomfortable watching from this close. Still Kokichi didn’t move, pressing into the touch.

“Is that so? Have you thought that maybe you aren’t worthy of anything else? You are not as fascinating as you like to think.” it was a lie, but Shuichi kind of called for it.

“I don’t think that I’m fascinating, I don’t really care what you think either. First impressions are good to start things off, but they can’t carry you for a long while. Your first impression of me was long ago, and it’s long past its expiration date. By now I surely lost any kind of mystic interest I could’ve had once. There is only me left behind. You said you don’t dislike me. That doesn’t mean you like me either. That’s why I said I was willing to make an effort. Are you?” he was completely serious.

If only he knew how much _effort_ Kokichi already pushed into him. Almost four years of effort. It should be a given at this point that it was Shuichi who had to give something back.

Kokichi lied down again, but didn’t leave his eyes.

“Do you think I’m cute?” he dropped out of the blue.

“What? Physically you mean?” Shuichi’s eyes had widened a little.

Kokichi’s grin twitched with amusement. In the end, after all this talking, Shuichi wanted to have a relationship with him or not? He had not answered that yet. He was keeping circling around the subject without touching it. Almost like he was scared of it, despite his apparent poke face. That was an intriguing theory that made  Kokichi’s mind work faster. He himself was not positive this was a good idea, but if by doing so he could put Shuichi to a clear disadvantage…

“Yeah! Am I cute?” he said, placing an arm above his head, like a model posing for a calendar.

 Shuichi didn’t look impressed by that maneuver.

“You have a certain look about you, I guess.”

“Ohohoh, going shy on me again, aren’t you? Have you taken a good look? Seen your favorite body part yet? Just tell me what it is, I may allow you to see!”

Kokichi wasn’t really _thinking_ about what he was saying, he was just shooting a sentence after the other as they were coming to his mind, he wasn’t even sure there was some logic in any of it. His objective was to corner Shuichi anyway, so the more nonsense on the table the better.

“Err—No thank you, I don’t particularly want to see—“

Kokichi didn’t allow him to finish. He kicked away his sheets and quickly turned to the side to hug Shuichi with one leg. Shuichi didn’t know where to look or how to react to that.

“Hey, hey, hey, not fair! Now you aren’t answering any of my questions!” Kokichi followed for a moment his eyes to his own leg, remembering too late that he was just wearing shorts and that his legs were naked and out in the open to see. He almost started to feel embarrassed but he pushed that thought aside forcefully, after all this was even more effective. And it was working as intended. “Don’t give me that look, it’s your own fault, you know? You were the one that chose this spot, you should have seen this coming! If you didn’t want this then you should have slept in the living room!”

Shuichi, who until then had managed to keep his face mostly clear and composed, started to blush a shade of deep red on his cheeks up to his ears. He also grimaced a little. Kokichi’s heart lost a beat when he realized why. The implications of Kokichi’s nonsense were that Shuichi had chosen to come here aware of this possibility, aware that they could end up in a compromising situation, and that he had accepted it. But while Kokichi hadn’t realized at first, Shuichi thought he had, so he blushed, feeling caught red-handed.

Well, then. This was changing things quite a bit.

 Kokichi broke the leg-hug and sat up with his legs crossed. Placing himself higher than Shuichi literally, besides figuratively.

“How cute, Shuichi dear, all this time you were trying to seduce me, I’m sorry I didn’t realize! It was painful for you, wasn’t it?! Desperately trying to get my attention while I was just thinking you were an asshole! You need to work a little on these seductive skills of yours, they are easy to misunderstand! But suffer no more! I am here now, I can listen to your secret desires, and if I like them then—“

“Oh shut up!!” Shuichi sat up as well, pushing Kokichi away.

Kokichi fell on his back on purpose, breaking the fall with his arms. Then he used the recoil of the fall to raise his legs and kick Shuichi on the chest with calculated strength. Shuichi, on the other hand, wasn’t that enthusiast about falling on his back and posed some resistance, but gravity was on Kokichi’s side on this one. Behind Shuichi was just a blanket and a couple of sheets, so Kokichi was sure that he could feel the hardness of the floor on his back. That gave him another idea. He quickly crawled on his all fours right on top of Shuichi, smirking at him from above, while Shuichi tried to elbow him in the chest.

“The floor must be cold and uncomfortable… Why don’t you sleep in my futon? We can share, I’m sure this was part of your plan anyway! We can share and then you can also tell me everything else you were prepared for, or you were planning to do to me! I’m very, _very_ curious! Are you into some crazy kinks? Should I worry?” his cheeks started to hurt, that was just how big his smirk was right now.

“It’s you who is into some crazy kinks! What’s with this role-play?! I liked you better before, I changed my mind, I’m not willing to make any effort anymore!”

Kokichi laughed almost hysterically, this situation was just too out of this world compared to what was going on before.

“C’mon, c’mon, stop pretending! I already said that I understand! You are an adolescent in a hormonal storm, I completely understand! Just come here!”

Kokichi grabbed the elbow that Shuichi was using to keep him away and forcefully dragged him toward the futon. Shuichi fought, but not that much, and was dragged on the futon. There Kokichi dropped on top of him like a dead weight and stared at his face from above, while Shuichi was fighting to get back some control over his overwhelming blush.

Kokichi gave him a few moments to recompose, while he was also trying to decide a line of actions himself. Up until this point everything had been fun and wonderful, playing like this was heartwarming. But moving forward was much scarier. Next to this there could only be kisses or getting naked, and both options were a source of anxiety. Kiss was easy, as long as both were aware of the meaning and there couldn’t be any misunderstanding. But considering how things were going, misunderstandings were just behind the corner, ready to rain down like a summer shower. Getting naked was possibly even worse, and to be honest Kokichi was very hesitant to do that. They were both males, so even if they needed to stop, at some point for any reason, it wasn’t like Shuichi could see some super secret, he had seen himself in a mirror plenty of times for sure. They could forget about it easily, much easier compared to a kiss, but momentarily it was certainly more awkward.

“Are you doing this for real or are you just messing with me?”

Kokichi returned to reality, hearing Shuichi’s hesitant question. He was staring at him steadily, but behind his ostentatious confidence Kokichi could see worry, uneasiness and doubt. This was a serious question, no deceiving involved. And so, Kokichi felt compelled to answer in the same way.

“As much as messing with you is fun, I assure you that if you weren’t fitting for my tastes, you wouldn’t be able to get close to me no matter what. I’m very picky and jealous of my personal space.” he dropped his smirk for a little while, before returning to it. “But let’s go back to the current situation, yes? You volunteered for this, so now you surely have some kind of plan, don’t you?”

Kokichi wondered if there was the possibility of forcing Shuichi to chose the next move instead of having to do it himself.

“I don’t—“ Shuichi started but then he stopped himself and looked away. “Then do you find me cute?”

Kokichi tilted his head, trying to find the logic. Was he trying to flip Kokichi’s tactic against him? That wasn’t going to work.

“Of course I do! You are very cute, especially when you are this red!” he poked his cheek. “But is this some kind of plan to distract me? Don’t you want to reveal your secret plan for this night? No need to hold back, we are already here, may as well hear what it is.” he kept poking.

This was the second attempt, if it was going to get ignored again then Kokichi knew he had to drop it, and back away from this. He wasn’t going to force anything, and he didn’t want to take him for exhaustion either. That would bite him I the ass later, because it was creating an opening for recrimination. And considering how annoying Shuichi could get, there was a big possibility he would Save State about being forced into sexual acts for the next universes, giving Kokichi a foul reputation from the start. He could totally see that happen.

What he didn’t see happen, instead, was Shuichi’s hand resting on his back gingerly. Until that very moment, both his hands had either lied limp or vaguely tried to push Kokichi away, so he had almost forgotten they existed. It was just placed there, doing nothing in particular, but Kokichi could feel its warmth through his shirt like it was burning. The more time was passing the hotter it seemed to be, but maybe it was Kokichi, realizing slowly what was happening.

If that wasn’t an invitation or confirmation of sort, he didn’t know what else it could be.

Without wasting more time on thinking Kokichi kissed him. Kokichi was the kind of person that liked to create complicated strategies, but he was also the type to act without a single second of planning. Discussions were often a game of tennis, with the words being tossed around like the small yellow ball, following the mood and feeding the illogical. Actions also were often a direct reaction of events, which was why he was planning only when he was the one taking the initiative. When it was all about reacting fast, nothing could beat him, and shame was coming only later.

Even as their lips were touching, somehow, the feeling on his back was stronger, kind of distracting him. Shuichi’s lips were dry, and so were Kokichi’s, the kiss lasted only a little, not enough time for the warmth to really reach, nor for Shuichi to react properly. When he separated he licked his lips, remedying the dry problem, while Shuichi blinked two times. Since the situation had not changed Kokichi took it as a good sign. He leaned forward again, tilting his head for a better angle, and left his lips on him longer, waiting. Shuichi’s lips parted a little bit and Kokichi took it as his cue to lick the lower lip quickly. The next contact was much more humid and _right._ Kisses should feel like this, humid and warm. And this part was easy, it was when the tongue was involved that it was a little trickier.

Also, Shuichi’s lack of any interesting reaction was annoying so he bit his lip in revenge.

Shuichi jolted a little under him, returning to life suddenly and the hand on his back finally grabbed him. Not only that, the other one soon joined the first, a little higher on his back. Kokichi smirked, glad of this change, and dived back into the action, much more confident.

Finally Shuichi was _working,_ parting his lips and returning the kiss. Kokichi’s heat raised fast enough that the hands on his back now weren’t any hotter, and the point of major warmth, besides his lips, was lower. Just as his lips were starting to feel weird, for the unusual attention, his blood was cumulating in his brain and groin. He broke the kiss to get some air, and to change position, because his arms were getting a little tired of propping him up enough to not crash into Shuichi. That maneuver got him much closer to him than before, enough for him to notice that he wasn’t the only one getting some blood running around in places. In fact, Shuichi had it worse than him.

That knowledge amazed him a little. Was Shuichi more sensitive or more involved? This answer could change some things.

He almost wanted to ask, but then he stopped. Somehow he felt like it was the wrong thing to do. Maybe he knew that it could easily be flipped around, it could mean that Kokichi wasn’t emotionally or physically involved in this. Which while it could give him a certain kind of advantage, it also didn’t sound right to him. Keeping his cards was one thing, but pretending he wasn’t enjoying himself another. It was never fun to think you were the only one taken in by the events, Kokichi knew, he had been the one very often. Even if they weren’t loves, he didn’t want to make Shuichi feel that way.

So, instead, he freed himself from Shuichi’s hands and took off the t-shirt he was wearing.

Shuichi’s eyes were on him immediately, but Kokichi was distracted by his lips. They were red and more evident than usual, and also a little shiny under the faint light that was coming from the shades. They were complementing Shuichi’s blush and his shiny eyes too well, it was making Kokichi’s breath itch on his throat. Damn, he was getting more and more hot by the minute. Something told him he didn’t need to worry about being less involved than Shuichi for much longer.

But of course he refused to be the only one without the top, so he grabbed Shuichi’s t-shirt and pulled at it. Without his help, he would never be able to take it off, so he just made his intentions clear. Shuichi seemed to panic for a brief second, then he propped himself up on his elbows, Kokichi took advantage of it immediately. When they were both half naked there was a moment of general confusion. What now? Pursue the matter further, stop here or going back? None of the options seemed the correct one, but something had to be done. They were still in time to change direction, nothing big had happened yet, a kiss or two was easy to ignore, for the rest of his life. Kokichi wasn’t completely sure, so he opted for something that could be passed off as him being just a jerk. That was an easy part to play and an easy way out.

He placed a hand on Shuichi’s chest, his fingers spread open, and Shuichi jerked the tiniest bit. At least his hand wasn’t cold, so it couldn’t feel unpleasant. Shuichi’s chest felt warm, but also slightly clammy. Kokichi grinned again, he was feeling nervous, wasn’t he? Sweating out of nerves? He quickly trailed his hand ghostly down his chest, past the bellybutton and with a swift move he grabbed Shuichi’s front pants and what was below.

Shuichi’s involuntary reaction was the strongest yet, and it was so quick and disjointed that Kokichi didn’t know if he was trying to run away or lean into the touch. Also it seemed like he really wasn’t expecting that, because Shuichi’s shriek was a hundred percent authentic. The bundle of heat in Kokichi’s hand also reacted, getting bigger and firmer instantly. Even so, Kokichi wasn’t taking this as confirmation of anything, he knew it was a natural, involuntary reaction of the body. What was more like it, was Shuichi’s face, which was basically engulfed in flames, he was half expecting smoke to escape from his skin. Kokichi had not left his face with his eyes the whole time, and when Shuichi noticed him still staring he tried to make at least five different expression, failing in all of them. Then he quickly hid his face behind one raised arm. Kokichi like this reaction a lot, but also he was never going to allow him to escape. He grabbed that arm and pulled it away, trapping it on the floor.

“No, no, no, you don’t get to cover anything, you shameless plotter! You placed yourself in this situation!”

Shuichi gasped, reacting to his provocation. Their eyes met, then he looked away again, like he forgot his embarrassment for a second and then immediately remembered it seeing Kokichi’s face. To be honest, Kokichi didn’t know for sure what kind of expression he had right now.

“Shut up!! I don’t want to hear this from you! You are just twisting this as an excuse to—!“

“Yeah, yeah, you think I want to hear a logical sounding argument at this point?”

Shuichi growled weakly, trying to cover up again. Kokichi let go of his prize. As soon as he did Shuichi kneeled him in the same spot. Kokichi dropped on Shuichi’s chest growling.

“You deserved that.” Shuichi said, apparently calm again.

Kokichi was about to spat some poison, because that was uncalled for, he had just joked around a little, he didn’t deserve anything. But then he stopped, because he felt something in his hair. Slowly he realized that Shuichi was brushing his fingers in between his strands, in a cute gesture that was apologizing, calming and also a little affectionate. Kokichi felt forgiving enough to accept this kind of pacifying gesture and he leaned forward to take a new kiss. This time there was no hesitation on both part, as their lips found a way to correctly align together. Kokichi was still resting on his chest, a hand was placed on Shuichi and he felt his rapid heartbeat underneath. At the same time the hand that was in Kokichi’s hair, forgotten because of the kiss, started to move again. The other hand rested on Kokichi’s back, like before, and that moment was perfect. Everything was in its place, everything was fitting together nicely.

But they were both adolescents still, and running wild on hormones, so this couldn’t last long like this. The pressure and bothersome feeling in their pants was prompting them to move things forward, but they still had to decide what they wanted to do. Kokichi wanted to move things forward, even if just thinking about it made his heart speed up with innate fear. But he wasn’t sure what Shuichi wanted. He opened his eyes to look at his face, braking apart from the kiss a little bit.

Shuichi’s face was flushed and his hair was a little ruffled, that precise hairstyle he was always sporting was ruined and maybe it was better this way. He looked younger, more childish. That reassured Kokichi a little. He stared back, and Kokichi could feel his breath on his face. To break that stalemate, his reason a little pushed back by his hormones, Kokichi decided to let his intentions show. He moved his hand down, below Shuichi’s armpit and down until he touched the futon below. He could feel Shuichi’s ribs under his fingertips. That maneuver seemed to be a little too sensitive for him, as he felt Shuichi try to involuntarily run away from his touch, inhaling loudly. The sound made Kokichi’s temperature raise even more. Surprising since it seemed to have reached a maximum cap before. He was sure someone could cook an egg on his back.

But Kokichi didn’t know how to read that, it wasn’t a clear answer. A part of him wanted to pursue that matter, the part below his belt. But the other part, the upper half, was getting a little disappointed of this confused situation. He had read often in books about ‘adult relationships’, like when people were seeing each other even though one of them was married, or when they were having sex even if they weren’t together. Or when they were changing partners every other day. He knew these things were real, even if he wasn’t sure how often, but he wasn’t really seeing himself doing them. Now he felt like he was in that same situation, and he was still so young. That feeling wasn’t very great, wasn’t he still in the ‘foolish years of youth where mistakes were made, but at least there were feelings behind’? Without knowing what Shuichi was thinking, this wasn’t as good as it could be. He raised himself on his hands, to create some distance from Shuichi’s naked skin.

“Hnm?” Shuichi made a confused sound.

Kokichi didn’t want to explain himself, so he ignored him and didn’t look at his face, trying to get away as slowly and nonchalantly as possible. Before he was able to raise his leg and take himself out of the way, past Shuichi’s legs, Shuichi’s hand pushed him back where he was, unexpectedly.

“…And this is already the second time….” he breathed when his cheek hit his chest again.

“Hm, where are you going?” Shuichi asked, with an uncertain voice.

“Is this what you want to ask right now? What do you think you are doing?” Kokichi sounded polemical even to his own ears.

“… Don’t run away…” his voice was so small that Kokichi barely heard it.

He raised his head to look at Shuichi’s face.

“I’m not running away, but wow! I didn’t know you already had it so bad! Cannot live without me anymore?” he smirked.

As he was saying that he made sure to brush heavily with his hips against him, both as revenge and to take a little satisfaction himself. Shuichi shut his eyes thigh and hugged Kokichi’s back, forcing him even closer. Kokichi didn’t know if it was a voluntary action or just a reflex because of his brushing, but he honestly stopped caring at this point. After stopping him like this, Shuichi just had to try and complain later! He would never hear the end of it if he tried!

Showing off some courage that he didn’t know he had, he kissed Shuichi forcefully and also infiltrated a hand past the rubber band of his pants and a second later also of his underwear, refusing to ask himself what he was doing exactly. He grabbed what he found blindly and used the other hand to help himself, by grabbing the fabric and dragging everything down. Shuichi reacted first by raising his knees only, trying to close his legs and stop Kokichi’s intrusion, then he stopped himself both because Kokichi was in the way and because he regained control of his nerves. He needed a few more seconds to decide to help Kokichi with his adventure by raising his hips enough to allow his pants and underwear to move. When that was done, Kokichi almost was on the verge of panic, because holy shit Shuichi was naked, but Shuichi distracted him by sliding a hand under his pants and cupping hesitantly one of his butt cheeks.

There, Kokichi forgot how to think.


	30. 6th Playthrough

When Kokichi woke up, feeling dirty, sticky and much hotter than normal, it took him only a few moments to remember what caused him to end up in this predicament.

And if he had forgotten the ability to think and to feel shame there, he had remembered it now. He blushed furiously and immediately search with his eyes for Shuichi, to make sure he couldn’t see. Shuichi was not far, not far at all, in fact it was right next to him, Kokichi’s right side was glued to his, and that explained why he was feeling so hot. Kokichi never slept on his stomach before, apparently today was a good day for a lot of firsts.

Kokichi groaned in his mind at that thought. Oh lord, it had been reality, right? Not a weird dream? He almost wanted it to be a dream, because if not then… He groaned again, this time for real. What was he going to do about this? Pretend it never happened? He blushed again. Yeah, very _easy_ to forget about it. Totally.

Shuichi shifted a little bit, after he heard him groan. Kokichi froze and waited, but he didn’t seem to woke up. He was sleeping, his face turned the other way. It was a relief, Kokichi felt like he had more privacy that way, even though they were basically one inch apart. He couldn’t run away, not from this position, Shuichi would wake up for sure, so he had to confront his thoughts and memories from where he was, right now. Even wanting to think about something else, there was nothing powerful enough to overshadow _that._

It had been… a thing. Yeah, no wonder, but like, really. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He wasn’t regretting it, not at all, but also he wasn’t sure if he was happy. Right now the only thing he was feeling like doing was hide in the bathroom and let out some hysteric noises, because he just could not calm down and his blood was boiling, in a different way from before. It wasn’t necessarily a bad sensation, it was just difficult to manage. To be honest, personally, he could deal with this new reality easily. Since he didn’t regret it, it was just something to digest fully, because it happened so fast. The real problem was that as long as he was staying here, he had to share this experience with Shuichi, and confront it with him too. Way worst. Even if Kokichi was coward enough to jump away, would he ever be able to look at Shuichi in the eyes after this? What if he saved a state about how he ran away after the fact? This mistake could haunt him forever.

Maybe he shouldn’t worry so much. Maybe Shuichi wouldn’t make a big deal out of this, maybe they could really pretend it never happened. Or maybe past the few first moments of awkwardness it would become normal, like how fast they accepted each other superpowers. Kokichi wouldn’t know, he had never found himself in this situation before. All he knew, about the aftermath, was that people either weren’t able to be themselves again with that person, or they were together. Since he wasn’t in the second category there was a good chance he would fall in the first.

In any case, the status quo was broken.

Thinking back at it, also, Kokichi simply could not believe what his memory was telling him. What had come over him? His brain just imploded or something, and not only toward the end, but from the very beginning. What convinced him that try to flirt with him was the right thing to do in that situation? They were… nothing. They were nothing for one another, they went from zero to a hundred and then back to zero. The hell of a bad idea had this one been? The reason why Shuichi allowed him was also pretty obscure. No, in fact, if he remembered correctly, Shuichi partially instigated and encouraged. Well, worst come to worst Kokichi could blame him and being an ass.

No, seriously, why had Shuichi allowed him? He never seemed the type to do something just because it could be interesting, let alone make more trouble for himself. Even if he found Kokichi cute, a theory still to be proved, or even if he just wanted pleasure from someone easy… this was going a little too far. Unless he had been completely wrong in judging him. Maybe he was the type to organize savage parties past midnight. Just thinking about it made Kokichi want to roll his eyes. Yeah, right. Shuichi and parties were clearly one of a kind. And considering how much… previous experience… he exposed last night, what kind of party animal Shuichi was couldn’t be questioned. Then… why? What kind of other reason could he have?

Kokichi was out of ideas.

But going back to himself, the courage he showed there was more than he had ever had in his whole life. Surely because his brain had died, so hormones had succeeded in their revolution, the king was dead, but even so a new heir appeared, the rebellion lasted a few hours and was killed in blood. He had _grabbed_ him. And then he got him _naked._ And then he touched—

Shuichi breathed in loudly, waking up from a dream, he turned his face toward the ceiling and frowned while moaning, stretching his limbs. Kokichi’s brain was thrown again for a loop, he hadn’t given him enough time to think! He didn’t have a strategy yet! He shut his eyes tightly and pretended to have died in his sleep.

Shuichi raised his torso, then his left arm, then he dropped it, then he looked around and saw him. This pattern of random movements repeated for a few minutes, slowly. If Kokichi had to guess, Shuichi had as many ideas as he had, about how to deal with this; zero.

“Hi?” his voice sounded, after he stopped moving, dripping uncertainty.

Kokichi valuated his options. Pretending to be dead was not going to work for long, pretending to be sleeping was also not an option, not after he called for him. Run away was an option, and also answering like a normal human being was one. Guess which one he immediately liked best.

He opened his eyes and sat up all in one motion, so suddenly that Shuichi jumped in scare.

“Hi, huh guess it’s already morning! I’m taking a shower.”

And he ran.

He ran where he said he would, in the shower, and it was the best idea really, since he felt filthy and gross. It was also very natural to take a shower after se—spending time with someone. At night. In summer. Yes, totally normal. Kokichi was clearly a genius, finding the perfect excuse. Right.

After he closed the door he leaned on it, hid his face in his hand, and whined weakly. Okay, he just made a fool out of himself, _again,_ but he was used to it, so it wasn’t all that surprising. If anything he was relieved that he had escaped for the moment, maybe that would help break the moment of awkwardness. If he left the bathroom acting like nothing had ever happened…

He let the water run for a moment, using it to cover his tracks, while he was checking his body all over. It was maybe very stupid, and anyone would laugh at him, but he wanted to be extra sure there wasn’t anything on his body that could betray him to anyone else but Shuichi. As long as he was tossing sexual jokes around it was fine, but the thought of having to explain himself, _for real,_ was simply too abysmal.

… He needed to make sure that Shuichi wouldn’t tell anyone either.

After making sure there was nothing, no bruises or hickeys, he finally took the shower. Taking an hour in the shower was tempting, but at the same time he was too nervous and tense to really relax, he wanted to get this done. So he cleaned himself all over three times, to be extra extra sure, and dried off. Then he realized one crucial problem; he had forgotten clothes. Not only there was nothing clean anywhere, but there was nothing dirty either, because he had reached the bathroom already naked. That gave him another realization. For a moment Kokichi had run away stark naked from Shuichi. He had to have seen everything, he had to. Great, this was getting better and better by the minute.

How was it possible that he was never able to do normal things that everyone was doing, and in the rare cases where he was, he was still screwing them up royally? What went wrong when he was born, honestly. Wrong planets conjunction?

Now there was only one way out of this one. Going in the other room with a towel covering his family treasures and pretend that it was planned, on purpose. He could do that, yes.

When he entered his bedroom, now invaded by this intruder, Shuichi was still sitting on the futon, hardly any different from before. His eyes found him immediately and then darted in the other direction entirely. What, feeling ashamed, regretful? Too late!

“Are you thinking about reloading this?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Reloading this?” he asked, sounding stupid, and blinked. Then he seemed to connect the dots. “I—No, why would I—?”

“Why is everything you are saying today a question? Have you lost the ability to speak properly besides your—“ when he realized where he was going Kokichi mentally kicked himself in the balls.

 _How refined, really._ Shuichi seemed to think the same thing.

“That’s not—“ he sighed. “Anyway.” yes, anyway, good idea. At least one of them was still able to keep the conversation in a safe topic. “There would be no point in reloading. I wouldn’t forget anything that happened anyway.” he said, his cheek getting a little flushed.

“Oho, so you would do it if you could wipe your own memory, wouldn’t you? I don’t know how to feel about that!” Kokichi located some clean clothes and moved toward it trying to look as casual as possible.

“That’s not what I meant!” for some reason his cheeks now were completely red. “I didn’t mean that I wanted to… I just meant that you would forget, but not me, so for me to do this is—Whatever!” he got flustered and embarrassed all by himself.

“Ahh, I understand now! Since you would remember anyway, you want me to suffer with you, instead of getting out of it easy. That’s why! You really are evil.”

“Yeah, sure, exactly. Wow, you got me.” Shuichi said with sarcasm and shrugged.

Kokichi started getting dressed, giving Shuichi his back. When he turned at the end he saw that Shuichi had collected his clothes from all around, where they had end up, and seemed uncertain about what to do with them. They were clean, and he definitely wasn’t. He seemed to be debating about this point in his mind, wondering if he should wear them anyway. Maybe he wanted to go home to shower properly, instead of here. That thought made Kokichi feel a little bothered. Like he had been used. Technically they used each other, true, but still, it wasn’t very nice hate everything about Kokichi now that it was done. He could understand, he could understand even him regretting everything, but that didn’t mean he was happy about it.

Shuichi stood, using his clothes as shield to hide, and he grimaced for a split second. It was so fast that if Kokichi had blinked at the wrong time he would have lost it. The same speed seemed to have the connection between his brain and tongue, since he hadn’t even finished this thought that it was already out.

“Are you alright?” he heard himself asking and he hated it.

Shuichi turned his face toward him almost by reflex, but he turned the other way immediately.

“Yes.” it was a little more high pitched than usual, and with that Shuichi was out of the door. “I’m taking a quick shower, wait for me.”

Looking him ran down the hallway and into the bathroom, Kokichi noticed that the tip of his ears were red. That sight, combined with some memories, made his blood run a little faster in his veins. Now that the most urgent part of the crisis was over he could admit it. It hadn’t been a bad experience at all, a little weird, but not bad. Shuichi’s body was very normal, nothing too impressive or bad looking, but in these moments it didn’t matter. He was as beautiful as he had imagined him to be, not physically, but just because he was there for him, and that made all the difference. For a moment he was absolutely certain he owned something of Shuichi’s that now no one could take away, at least not in this universe. It was a small, risible accomplishment, and in the grand scheme of things it did matter like a pebble mattered, but nevertheless, Kokichi was quite happy to have it. In case something like this was never going to happen again, at least he could make some good use of these memories. Some very good use.

As instructed, Kokichi waited for him, and he had nothing better to do than to prepare breakfast for both. Using the kitchen he was never using ever. He wasn’t necessarily making breakfast for Shuichi, after all he was just tossing some stuff out of their package and onto the table, but he wasn’t opposed if he wanted some, after the shower. Kokichi had worked up quite the appetite, and so it wasn’t so strange to think Shuichi might had too. After the water stopped running, Shuichi appeared with his hair still a little damp and his clothes on, thank goodness for that. He sat at the table a little hesitantly without a word and grabbed two cookies to eat dry. Silence reigned on the room for a while, Kokichi was both trying to find something to say and also hoping to not be the one to start a conversation.

“…Tomorrow school starts again.” and in fact Shuichi spoke first. “So I was thinking… Do you want to take a small tour of the school? You don’t have any memory of the structure, do you, I could help with that. You would look strange tomorrow if you didn’t know where to go.”

A very reasonable plan.

“My, how nice you are. So you still want my company? Last night was not enough?” he smirked in his cup.

Shuichi vaguely blushed but this time he was not sidetracked.

“If you want you can look like a fool, tomorrow when you’ll be forced to ask where are your seat and classroom. It’s on you.”

“I didn’t say no, I was just asking if you hadn’t have enough of me yet. Normally people want a break from me after a few minutes, a break of at least a day or so. I wonder why?”

“Yeah, I wonder.” Shuichi answered with sarcasm. “So, are we going or not?” Kokichi shrugged, to say that it was all the same for him. “I want to stop by at home first though, I want to change. It would look stupid to go around town like this.” he tugged at his spare sport clothes.

So they went, and Kokichi discovered for the first time where Shuichi lived. He was not living that close by, despite what he said the first time he accompanied him home, and he was living in the cuter residential area of town. It wasn’t the fancy one, where rich people lived, but at least it wasn’t as ugly and stuffy as Kokichi’s neighborhood. Shuichi was living in a two floors, small residence that looked tiny on the front, but was actually decently spacious in the back.

Shuichi asked him to wait outside, while he went in and changed. At first Kokichi didn’t comment, he wasn't about to meet Shuichi’s parents anyway, especially not after last night, but he kept his question for later. For when Shuichi appeared a few minutes later, again looking boring but also perfectly ordered, like always. It seemed that Shuichi had some kind of complex about looking always like he was a good kid. Never a piece out of the line.

“So, why didn’t you want me in? Were you ashamed to have me meet your parents?”

“No, and you already knew my parents, we even had last year party to celebrate our test results together. Since you don’t have your family nearby and stuff, my parents kind of feel like they should adopt you or something. You always refused though. No, the reason why I didn’t want you in was my sister. She is… quick, in picking up cues.”

“Cues, you mean…”

 He stopped himself, Shuichi meant that he didn’t want her to know they had sex. Of course. That sounded hell embarrassing, good thing Kokichi never had to experience something like this.

“If she saw us side by side she would know immediately. She would.”

“Who is your…” he started to ask, but the answer was looking at him from a window up on the second floor. Hair a little lighter than Shuichi’s long and straight, tall, with glasses. “Ah, you don’t say… Is she blood-related?” he asked as he was creating some distance from the house.

She was waving at him with a smile on her face.

“She was the child of my father’s previous marriage, we are blood-related only by a half. She is older than me.”

“Hmm, beware of the incest.”

“What?” Shuichi turned to look at him, his mouth open.

“Nothing. Just beware of incest.”

“What do you mean?!”

“Just saying.”

“Huh?!”

“Just. Saying.”

Kokichi picked up the pace, a mysterious smile on his face. Explaining this one would require too much trouble, better leave it at that. Shuichi increased the pace as well, to keep up with him, and asked a couple more times, Kokichi ignored him.

Thanks to the baseball training Kokichi already knew where the school was, they had been using the fields all around it, but he had never entered. Shuichi led him to the front gate and the main entrance, then he showed the most important places of the first and second floor. They weren’t the only ones inside, the school was actually already opened, with students and adults coming and going. It seemed as if they were expecting people to start organize things before the actual start of the new term. Students were replacing the content of their lockers, other students were chatting between themselves or talking to a teacher about upcoming lessons or events, and in general there was a feeling of expectative and excitement in the air. Kokichi could not say he was sharing it, but being there with Shuichi surely was making him not mind it as much as he normally would. They visited the cafeteria, the club room, the gym and changing rooms, the hall for conferences where they would need to go tomorrow for the term opening ceremony and the laboratories. They were going for the classroom, on the second floor, when they met some girls, some familiar girls. Harukawa, Kaede and even Iruma. Strange combination.

“Oh, funny meeting you guys here, what are you doing?” Kaede noticed them first.

“Hi Akamatsu, just checking up the club room.” Shuichi answered politely.

Kokichi raised a hand, really not interested.

“Hi.” Harukawa said with a bored tone.

“Oh, us too! We were checking up on the events of the club, I have a recital next week. I really was hoping I wouldn’t get one so soon after the start of the term, but…” Kaede shrugged.

Kokichi didn’t know in which club she was, but for sure he couldn’t see Harukawa have anything to do with recitals, let alone Iruma. They couldn’t be in the same club, not even by mistake.

“I see, I’m sure you’ll do great, you are always worried but in the end you manage every time. You shouldn’t stress so much, it’s—“

“A waste of time.” Iruma interrupted, unexpectedly. Kokichi blinked, two times. She just said what he was thinking. Probably in a different meaning, since he meant that talking to these girls was a waste of time, but still. “You are wasting your time talking to him, it’s clear enough he is not into it.”

Everyone stared at her in silence, even Kokichi, not knowing what she was referring to. Considering that Iruma was moving her eyes between Shuichi, Kokichi and Kaede, she meant to say this to the three of them, but no one seemed to have caught her meaning. She had her hands on her hips, looking all highty and mighty, an ugly expression on her face. It wasn’t a smirk nor a grimace, it was like she thought everyone there was an idiot beside her. No, actually not ‘like’, she definitely thought she was the most intelligent of the bunch.

“What are you talking about?” Kaede politely asked.

“You know what I’m talking about, it was almost time they decided to come out of the closet and started screwing! I was starting to get hysterical pregnancies for them, seriously! If this wasn’t solved this summer, with some healthy sweating and muscular male and male contact, I would have solved it by organizing an orgy of sort!”

Once again everyone was silent, but this time for a different reason. Ignoring the ‘solutions’, Kokichi wondered how and when had she noticed. Since before his jump? Was she just lucky, casually hitting the right moment, and suspecting it just because they were close friends before? Somehow he couldn’t believe that she really knew what she was saying, it was just a fabrication of her mind. Nevertheless, they both reacted at her words, with a second delay. Kokichi, in spite of himself, blushed a little and grimaced before he could stop his face from doing what it wanted, while Shuichi completely blushed and covered his mouth with a fist, making all the more evident. Normally they wouldn’t have reacted this way, but since it was still a fresh wound, they really had no way of controlling this instinctive reaction.

Now Kaede was looking at them with a hard struck expression, Iruma was looking like she had just won the title of queen of the world, while Harukawa looked just like this was the most annoying conversation she ever had. Which was both true and incredibly relatable. For the first time ever Kokichi felt a sort of understanding with her.

“Can we go now? I have better things to do.” she said, bored and irritated, starting to walk away.

Kaede looked between them all quickly three times and then he quickly walked past Shuichi and Kokichi to catch up with Harukawa, she turned to shot a bye at them and then left in a hurry. Iruma didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get anywhere, instead, and she was still looking at them like she was waiting for some kind of prize. Kokichi had already had enough of her in a few minutes, a new record, really.

“Well, that was a stupid move on your part. You want to create orgies and yet you somehow always find a way to make people ran away from you, can you even find someone who wants to screw you at all? Aren’t you basically doing the opposite of the result you want? You know, you are not even _that bad,_ I’m sure someone who wants to screw for sport can make a good use of you, if only you weren’t—“

“Okay! I think we are done here, we can go!” Shuichi almost yelled, to stop the string of vulgarities that was coming out of Kokichi’s mouth.

Surprisingly he took Kokichi’s hand and he started to drag him away. Not surprising that he would drag him away, Kokichi wanted to drag himself away to be honest, but surprising that he would take his hand. He could have just taken his arm, or even abandoned him there and go on his own way. Iruma yelled some other bestiality at their backs, but Kokichi didn’t even hear it. He was already over her, because this development was more interesting. He couldn’t see Shuichi’s face, he was making a point of looking away from him, but they were holding hands, after she hinted that they had had sex. In a school with people in. Sure, currently the hallway was empty, but he wasn’t deluding himself that none of the three girls was going to talk and spread the news, right? Sure, Iruma was difficult to believe, but if Kaede said something, everyone would take her seriously. Doing something like this was basically confirmation.

Kokichi didn’t have too much of a problem with confirming it, not as long as he could throw back shit at everyone who mentioned anything, but it was a conceptual problem. Like, if they had a one night stand, then confirming this was a bad idea, because people would ask and would not understand anything. They would expect them to date, after sex, that was for sure. Which basically meant that for Shuichi to openly decide to confirm it… where they in some kind of misunderstanding right now?

Not that unlikely.

“You didn’t like my comment about orgies?”

“Kokichi, you are not making this any easier.” Shuichi sighed.

Kokichi blinked and let himself being dragged around, a curious feeling that he didn’t know where to place in his chest. It was very rare for Shuichi to say his name, sometimes he was saying his last name, but very rarely his first one. It felt like they had crossed a particular boundary and Kokichi had not been informed of this. Maybe he should really try to stop assuming things, if he had been a little more courageous and asked in the first place…

“Here, this is our class.” Shuichi stopped in front of a door, changing the subject.

But Kokichi had never agreed to this change of topic.

“I never said I wanted to make it easier.” he said, still hand in hand.

Shuichi turned to look at him, clearly surprised that he was still on that. They looked at each other a few more seconds and then he was the one to look away first.

“If your intention was to make it harder, it’s working fine. Forget about her, she is just trying to attract attention to herself.”

“But she won’t forget this.” Kokichi insisted, raising their linked hands to indicate what he meant.

“… Are you mad because I didn’t ask first?” Shuichi looked conflicted.

“I’m not mad. I’m trying to make things straight, because right now they are not. Am I wrong?” Shuichi was still looking away, his mouth twitching slightly, like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how. “You know, yesterday we didn’t really decide a time limit for the role-play, what do you think, is it over or not?”

This was the only way he had found to approach the topic, without having to be honest about it. It was too difficult to do any other way. It involved him giving away his wishes and hopes, and Kokichi himself was not sure of what they were, not entirely. He was interested in a ‘future’ with Shuichi, while it was very difficult for the both of them to find a way to fit together, because of how used they were to think of themselves as a single unit. But at the same time he wasn’t madly in love or blind, it wasn’t _necessary_ for him to be with Shuichi romantically. So he would never actively ask a relationship out of Shuichi, but a very different thing was if Shuichi as well wanted something from him. In that case they could find some sort of compromise, even only for a while.

And being with Shuichi was the only real thing that was making him happy. As well as angry and competitive. It was worth it.

“Don’t think too highly of yourself for this… but I think we should stick together for a while.” Shuichi said and gave his hand a little squeeze, Kokichi knew it was unintentional.

“Oh, I knew you had fallen hard for me! It’s okay! I’ve fallen for myself too, at least a couple times!” 

Shuichi scoffed, shook his head smiling and without waiting he dragged Kokichi inside the room.

“Well, this is the classroom and—“ oh no, he wasn’t getting out of it so easily!

“Hey, you are asking me to become your boyfriend and I’m not even getting a kiss? Now that’s just rude.”

“You don’t know the meaning of the word easy, do you?”

“Do you eat it?”

“Oh please, don’t fall for easy jokes now, I’m pretty sure you are better than that.”

“Wow! You deserve a kiss for that compliment!” Kokichi smiled widely.

“You just want to kiss no matter what, do you?!”

“Yep, you understood that only now?”

Shuichi sighed.

“You jump from one extreme to the other so fast… But I already knew that, so there is no point in me complaining, is there?” he smiled again. “I would rather a more discreet place, anyway.”

“Ah, we are going to get dirty again, I understand! I agree, I don’t want anyone else to see you pretty little ass.”

“Wai—We aren’t going to—?! I didn’t mean to go _that_ far, you are joking right?!” Shuichi fumbled a little on his words.

How adorable. He didn’t have any intention of going all the way, but now he needed to make sure to drop this act as late as possible, just because.

“A joke? Not really, I wanted a kiss but you offered the rest. So may as well! So, where is this discreet place?” he pretended to look around for it.

“I didn’t offer anything, stop putting words into my mouth! If we are done here we can go.”

“See, that last part was the important part. So eager to be alone with me again! Don’t be shy, where is this famous place? We can make it quick.”

Shuichi glared at him.

“Not interested.”

“Too late, now I’m interested. I’m the alpha here, so just obey me and take me there.”

“I’m sorry, you are what?” his eyes were slit.

“The alpha, I’m on top. I decide.” he elaborated.

“No, you are not, it was just… last night. You are not the top and I’m not the bottom.”

“Of course you are. Were you aware that being bottom changes slightly your way of walking? I like my walk, I’m very good at walking, I don’t want to change that because of you, you are going to be bottom forever, resign yourself to your fate.” Kokichi spouted half true facts, half nonsense.

Shuichi, almost involuntarily, looked at his butt by bending and twisting his back a little, then he realized what he was doing and clicked his tongue to himself.

“No, I refuse!”

“What are you refusing? Your fate? Or that your walk has changed because of me? Because that’s a fact and—“

Shuichi cut him off by dragging him out of the classroom, his expression determinate and irritated. Kokichi wondered for a moment if he had gone too far and that was his way of manifest it, and stopping him. If that was the case it was a little sad, because it was just a small provocation, they would end up getting on each other’s nerves soon if this much was already enough.

But it turned out that he had provoked him just enough.

Shuichi was dragging him inside a deserted clubroom.

“I refuse to be your bottom forever. In fact I think we should solve this problem immediately. We should be standing on even ground, it’s only fair, isn’t it?” Shuichi’s eyes shined for a second with humor.

Kokichi was speechless. Was this Shuichi’s way of fighting a joke with a joke, or was he for real? _Here and now, seriously?_ He had forgotten, unfortunately for him, that Shuichi could be really forward when he wanted. Somehow he knew they wouldn’t _really_ going the whole way, it was not a safe space and moment and they weren’t that comfortable either. It was true that it didn’t require that much of anything to get this done, but there was also no denying that they were both complete noobs and they needed a little more experience to have it go smooth. Nevertheless, he also knew that now Shuichi was completely on board, and they were going to have _something_ done.

“No, it’s not fair at all, I already said what’s fair! Why don’t you turn around and get naked for me? That would help.”

“Why don’t _you_ turn around and get naked then?”

“As I said, no, it’s—“ Kokichi didn’t get to finish his completely useless stalling, Shuichi pulled him closer thanks to their linked hands and grabbed him by the waist with his other hand making him turn.

“Here, it’s not that difficult is it?”

Kokichi blushed involuntarily, feeling Shuichi’s hand still on his waist. He couldn’t help it, it was making him remember… stuff. In a way it was lucky that he was now turned. He could blush as much as he wanted. When he got out of his head he realized they hadn’t moved or said anything in a little while.

“Well, what now?”

“Err… now…”

Kokichi calmed down considerably, almost feeling fond of the situation now. Shuichi could be a little bit scary one second and revert to a dork a moment later. They could figure this out, little by little.

Shuichi left his hand, then he grabbed the end of Kokichi t-shirt and pulled it up, to reveal a little bit of his back. There, Kokichi’s temperature was raising again. Hormones were a bad thing, very bad.

The same hand that had raised the shirt was now getting placed directly on skin, and it was so warm that Kokichi almost wanted to close his eyes and forget everything, focusing only on the feeling of his back and side. It started to move slowly, more than erotic it was almost romantic. He wasn’t doing it to stimulate Kokichi, it was more and exploration. Last night Shuichi had been passive and pressed against the futon, his freedom of movements had been limited. While Kokichi also didn’t get to see his back, at least he saw and touched everything else he wanted. Shuichi, in a more mild way than what was intended, had indeed now conquered the right to be on top. He was getting to chose, while Kokichi was allowing him and taking it. He wasn’t opposed to this.

Shuichi’s hand explored up as much as he could without completely pulling out the t-shirt, and then went back down toward the rim of his pants. He pulled that down gently, making clear his innocent intention, if one could call this innocent, so Kokichi wasn’t perturbed. He waited for the next move, and he blinked two times when some time passed and nothing happened. Before he could turn and look, or ask, he felt fingers touching a specific point of his lower back, and understanding flashed in his mind.

Shuichi had found it for the first time.

“What’s this…?”


	31. A playthrough

After that, the mood was not right anymore, so they decided to leave, and Kokichi explained about his numbers in a park close by.

“Why haven’t you told me? They change, obviously it’s not anything natural! It could be important!” Shuichi scolded him.

“What was it? The number.” Kokichi ignored him and asked his question.

“Five, why?”

Five. Huh.                                                                        

“I had several hundreds.” he said, as an explanation.

“Oh…” Shuichi seemed to understand the implication. “What will happen when you drop to zero? You said they don’t relate closely to your Jump ability…”

“Who knows, maybe I’ll die.” Kokichi shrugged, swinging his legs.

“Be serious please. What do you think, _actually_.” Shuichi’s eyebrows were furrowed.

“I spent years of my life thinking about it, and now I can say this with confidence…. I have no fucking idea.”

“Aren’t you scared?” he asked, completely serious.

Kokichi shrugged, in silence. He could easily lie, but there would be no point. This was somehow a shared problem, he could see that. While Kokichi’s life was his own, Shuichi was also involved, since they were the only two with this particular superpower. Kokichi’s death would decree, for Shuichi, to be the last one left forever. It wasn’t directly his problem, since if he was dead he was pretty dead, obviously, but it was also a little cruel to lie to him about this. Regardless, they couldn’t do anything about it.

Shuichi was very silent and absent after that, immersed in his thoughts, so they separated.

That night Kokichi as well was pretty absentminded, feeling a little down that his number was a measly five now. The next day school would start, and if he really intended to remain here a while longer then he should start to learn how to survive there for his last term. He didn’t want problems, not this time not at this point, so he should try to really get this over with as fast as possible. Taking things seriously wasn’t his forte since a long while ago, and keeping focus for a long period of time now was coming difficult to him, but he could do it if he tried.

He readied his uniform and bag then went to sleep earlier than usual.

The next day he met Shuichi at school, obviously, but nothing eventful happened. Thanks to his tour he was able to find everything immediately and look natural, even if inside the classroom he had a little more trouble. Shuichi gestured for him to sit on the desk to his right, but then mostly ignored him for the rest of the day. He wasn’t ignoring him on purpose, he was just very lost in his own brain. Kokichi left him alone, because he didn’t feel like he had anything to say in regard and at the same time he knew that insisting with him to drop the subject not only it wouldn't work, it would make everything worst. The real problem, inside the classroom, were the other people. This Kokichi was decently social, which was annoying. Kokichi had no intention of having a social life, he was already at his limit with the other part of the gang, he didn’t need to add extras. The day was slow, stupidly slow and boring. The teachers were assuming they already knew everything, which was correct for everyone except for Kokichi, and so they went down to explaining and exercising immediately. Kokichi was following as well as he could, while surprisingly Shuichi wasn’t even listening. He hadn’t taken a single note in the whole day.

Considering his mood, Kokichi went home alone, refusing to stop by the club.

It was late afternoon when someone rang his doorbell again. When he opened his door, Shuichi shot himself inside even before the door was completely open. He looked excited and in high spirit.

“Wh—“

“I got it! I think I have it!”

“Huh.” Kokichi made the first sound that he could think of, and closed his mouth. He understood immediately what he meant, but he refused himself to feel excited so he pulled the first thing that came to his mind. “What? A condom?”

Shuichi blinked, his face losing a little of his spark as he fought the confusion of having been thrown off balance.

“No, not that. But… Yeah, sure, let’s use that as a test.”

“Test?”

“Show me the number now.” Kokichi did as told, even as he was confused. He trusted that Shuichi wasn’t pulling some shit on him. He raised his shirt and showed his back. “Yes, it’s still five. Good. Let’s try now.”

“Try what?”

Did he want him to jump? He wasn’t ready to do that, he didn’t want to do that.

“Just wait a sec…” Shuichi trailed off and a moment later he was located a few inches away compared to before. Kokichi blinked two times, understanding what had just happened. Shuichi reloaded a save from somewhere. “There.”

Kokichi blinked again and looked at the thing that Shuichi was handing him. It was a small condom package, a convenient store one. When Kokichi looked at his face again Shuichi’s cheeks grew a little more pink but he kept his face straight.

“Oh, so you really had some.”

Shuichi glared at him.

“You really don’t know what’s going on or are you just trying to look stupid?”

“You reloaded. Why?” Kokichi asked, trying hard not to sound too sarcastic.

“Show me your number.”

Kokichi blinked and didn’t move. Was he really suggesting that his number was related to Shuichi’s reload ability? Why in the hell would he be recording that on his body, and in opposite order? Was Shuichi suggesting that _he_ was the one with limited uses? That was wild, why in the holy fuck would he think that?

Kokichi turned and showed his number again.

“…Yes, it’s four.”

Kokichi dropped his shirt but didn’t turn. He didn’t know what kind of face he was making right now.

_Seriously? His numbers were THAT?_

No wait, maybe Shuichi was lying to him. It was really too absurd to be true, it wouldn’t make any sense, they could have never met. If Shuichi’s theory was correct, and they were meeting because Shuichi saved him in a Save State, then all this was a contradiction. Which one was it? In any case he wanted to check the number for himself.

He went to the bathroom and looked at his back on the mirror. Shuichi hadn’t lied, it’s number was really down to four. He dropped his shirt again and looked at his face on the mirror. It was a blank mask, no emotion could be read on it. Maybe because he was feeling so many things at once that his face was so tense.

When he returned in the other room Shuichi looked at him for a moment, his face also blank but more on the curious side. He was examining his face. Kokichi realized that he hadn’t said a word since the experiment. Surely Shuichi sensed that something was wrong with him, and he wanted to know what.

“It’s stupid, it can’t be that. Just a coincidence.”

“Are you upset that it’s about me and not you?” Shuichi asked.

Kokichi’s hands twitched with irritation. That was not the problem. Wait, no… it was the problem. Why was Kokichi tied to Shuichi, like he was his extension? That was bullshit.

“No, why would I be? It’s just that it’s bullshit.” he lied.

“Would it make it better if I said that it’s the opposite? It’s me that’s being tied down to you. I was wrong on my previous assumption. It’s not because I Saved you, it’s because you are my source of Saving capacity. My Save States… have sense _only_ because _you_ are the one taking them with you. And my normal saves and reloads… I think they depend on you as well, but on a more loose level. Want me to explain what I think this one power is? And yes, I think this is only one superpower, split into two people.”

Kokichi hesitated a moment, almost wanting to negate everything, but then nodded.

“Do you have a pc of any kind?” Shuichi asked.

“I have a laptop, not a great one I think.”

“It doesn’t matter. I just need to show you something.”

Kokichi took it from his room and brought it to the living room. Shuichi sat down on the couch and Kokichi next to him, the laptop resting on the small table in front of Shuichi. Shuichi browsed the internet and searched for a program that Kokichi didn’t know. He downloaded it on his pc and opened it. Whatever it was, Kokichi didn’t recognize it. It was just a window with writings and menus, nothing too immediate.

“You play games, don’t you? So you know how a game works, in term of saving and stuff.”

“Yeah.”

“And you also know the difference between hardware and software, yes?”

“The hardware is the tool you play into, which means that alone it's useless, while software are the games, which don’t work without hardware.” Kokichi gave a quick explanation.

“Good. Correct. Normally, where does a game save? On the hardware or software?”

“It depends on which hardware. Handled consoles save inside the software more often, while pcs and bigger consoles have an internal memory drive.”

“Yes, that’s why often if you take a game to a friend you don’t have your save file, because it stays inside the console. There are online accounts that can share through the internet, but that’s not the point right now.  Now, do you know what this is?” he pointed at the screen.

“No. It’s a program thingy, a very wordy one. Not really pretty.”

“It’s not supposed to be pretty just yet, not without a software. This is what many people use, to save money or just because they are lazy… This is an emulator. It works only for a certain type of games, but we are not talking about the actual thing here, it’s an example.” Shuichi paused a moment to collect his thoughts. “When I was little… Once I saw my older cousin cheat at a game, he was dying to the last boss and didn’t want to redo the whole dungeon before it over and over again. He was somehow resetting the fight each time he was dying in an instant and I was very perplexed. Then he explained all about emulation, and how cheaty of a system that is… Being able to save in any moment, even when the game itself was not built for, and being able to reset immediately? Incredibly useful, but also so dishonest. It felt like me. It felt like I was emulating life, not playing by the rules.” he glanced at him for a second but then looked immediately away. “I’m not the biggest gamer out there, but after learning this, I learned a little bit more about emulation by myself, not to play, but because it was somehow helping me understand how to use my own power. After I learned enough, I felt confident that my power was pretty much emulating, on a larger scale. So… that is why I gave my ‘functions’ emulation names. Save, reload, save state…”

It made a shitton of sense. Kokichi has instinctively understood what he meant by save state because he had learned about emulation on a superficial level himself, but thinking about it, a normal person that never emulated wouldn’t know. Shuichi had very obviously learned about emulation, but Kokichi took it for granted and didn’t really read that part out.

“And that’s why you call yourself a cheater.” Kokichi concluded for him.

“Yes, because I am. But… I thought it was just a coincidence, I mean, I thought my power was just very similar to emulation, I wasn’t thinking that I was _actually_ playing in an emulator…” he looked at Kokichi again.

“…You think _I am_ the emulator.”

“Yes. That’s what I think. Normally, hardware and software are not one and the same, but they need to work together. In our case… I think we are an upgraded version of both of those things. I am an upgraded software, able to play a bunch of different games, and all the games are quite massive considering they are the size of a universe. I am also the player, deciding how to use my software at will by going back and forth in time, using the emulator as a whole. You are the hardware, a very strong one and who also has a very spacious memory storage. You are running my games, choosing one at random when you yourself do a ‘hard reset’, forcing me to change game mid-run. I am a software with no internal memory, and that’s why I don’t get to bring memories from one game to the next… if not some fragments of information using a save state. My famous cheat codes are the broken data from my previous run, that you destroyed by hard resetting. When you switch yourself off and then back on, I have no other choice but to start a new game all over again. And I am using your storage space to save and reload normally, like a regular game.”

“My numbers are…”

“Here, see?” Shuichi clicked on something and a menu opened. It was something that Kokichi knew well. It was a long list of empty save slots. “ _These_ are your number. I can only assume, after listening to your story, that originally you had 500 slots open for me. I consumed 496 of them in the last eighteen years. Considering how many universes you visited… It does sound about right. It’s difficult to say if the saves are spread all across or not, but I think not. 500 seems still a small number compared to hundred of potential universes. My theory still holds, I think time only moves with you in it, the rest of the time I remember was actually just the same time you lived somewhere else before you came. I have to start a new game each time, but you don’t. This is the best explanation I can give.”

“Okay… It does sound cooler than any other explanation I gave to myself, I’ll give you that! But then what happens when I don’t have any more save slots?”

“Well, you don’t die, that’s already good news, I think.” Shuichi got away from the laptop, apparently being done with it. “As for what happens to me… There are two options. Either I can override the older saves, which means that you and I both start again from 500… or it means that I don’t have any more space to use, and I won’t be able to use the emulator to cheat anymore.”

“And are you disappointed about that?” Kokichi asked, looking at Shuichi’s expression closely.

Shuichi stared back for a moment before answering.

“I don’t know, to be honest. It’s something like a safety I have and always had… going forward without it is like stumbling in the dark. It’s not a pleasant prospect. It’s like… I’ve become—“

“A normal person?” Kokichi concluded his sentence with a smirk.

“I’ll never be a normal person, I have 4 slots left! I just need to make sure I use them for important stuff and not silly things from now on!” 

“I see, so you are not going to give up on it entirely nor to test your theory about going back to 500. Interesting.”

“No, I don’t want to. There could be a moment where an emergency arises, I want to be able to count on my power. And if I have to be honest right now I don’t feel as interested in reloading as before. I’ll see how this plays out and if I don’t like it, I still have the possibility of reloading way back and redo everything again.”

“Emulator huh. A boring name for a superpower.” Kokichi commented, closing the discussion.

“You called yours jump, you are in no position to criticize anything.”

“Mean.” Kokichi complained, closing the laptop. “So… are you staying for dinner?”

It was already dinner time, not surprising considering he had come at the end of the afternoon. Kokichi’s words weren’t exactly an invitation, but it wasn’t sarcasm either. Shuichi could stay, but if he wanted to leave he could leave. It wasn’t like Kokichi had any dinner ready to offer.

“Hmm…” Shuichi sent a glance to the kitchen, maybe wondering if Kokichi even had something edible in the house, which was a legit concern. “Well, if you don’t mind. I hadn’t planned it, not like last time, but I can call home and tell them I’ll stay out for the night.”

“I never offered anything past dinner, but you seemed to read it that way, huh. I wonder why.” Kokichi smirked and was pleased to see his cheeks becoming red. “Not to mention… like last time? Is this your admission of guilt? Not that I wasn’t aware already but when you say it like that.” Kokichi shrugged standing up.

“I…” Shuichi stood up as well. “Well, sorry I misunderstood, I’ll just stop for dinner then.” he was looking away.

Kokichi couldn’t help but think that he was very cute right now. He not only admitted that he had planned everything from the start last night, but also that his first thought went to sleep here tonight. It had been his very first assumption.

“You can stay for the post-dinner as well, but next time take a futon with you. There is not enough space for both of us in mine.” he turned to walk in the kitchen and Shuichi followed. Kokichi didn’t fail to notice that he hadn’t commented on the futon thing. “So, what do you want for dinner?”

“What do you have?”

“Nothing. That’s why I’m asking. What about Chinese takeaway?”

Shuichi sighed with a smile.

“Sure.”

There was a menu in the house, Kokichi had used it multiple times already to satiate himself in a pinch. They discussed about it and then ordered their dinner on the phone. Kokichi insisted to have Shuichi pay for him. It was such a mundane moment that Kokichi had to check with himself he was not dreaming every five minutes or so. It was absurd how weird they were and yet how ordinary they could be at times. This was like… text-book recent couple ordering dinner together scene. It felt both really good and really worrisome.

Maybe he had officially gone crazy after the last jump. That could explain a lot.

Kokichi refused to eat on the table like a normal person, because there was too much normality in this home already, so he moved away the small table and prepared a camp space on the living room at the top of the rag. Shuichi insisted to see him use the vacuum on the rag before agreeing, but in the end he joined. They ate their Chinese food with chopsticks and using the mildly spicy sauce improperly. Which meant that Kokichi put a bit of it in everything independently of what it was. They ended up eating a slice of cake with the red sauce on top.

That night Shuichi didn’t have a futon, so he was sleeping in the same place as last time. This time no one asked questions or commented, it was already taken for granted. Still, that didn’t make it completely not awkward, but it wasn’t something worthy of mention anymore. They lied side by side in silence and darkness, and neither of them was sleeping for a long while.

Kokichi’s mind, almost as if it had decided this was ‘being alone’ enough, started to elaborate the information he got today over and over again. What did it mean exactly for him this emulation power? If Shuichi was the software, and he was the one choosing and playing the game… wasn’t that in some way a proof that Kokichi was just there as a spectator for the ride? His only power was to reset the world, or game. Supposing that his slots could be rewritten, and weren’t permanently occupied, there was nothing really that Kokichi could do against Shuichi’s player rights. He was at a disadvantage. In fact if Shuichi right now decided to reload right now back to the beginning, he could take away his memory of these last few days. If there was someone that had something to lose in this situation it was—

“I’m not going to reload.”

Kokichi almost jumped when he heard the voice by his side. He had almost forgotten he was there. But how would he know what he was thinking?

“Did you reload just now?!” he said, sitting up to look at him from above.

“No, I didn’t. You can check your number if you don’t believe me.” Shuichi answered, completely calm. “I just guessed what you were thinking.”

Kokichi placed a hand on his number on his back. It was too dark to check right now, to do so he would need to go to the bathroom and look. Which would basically confirm to Shuichi that he didn’t trust him.

“And how would you know what I was thinking?” realizing he was admitting it, he added something else. “I wasn’t thinking that anyway, I was wondering about the color of your underpants.”

“White and gray, checkered. If you really need to know.” Shuichi answered his provocation first. “I guessed it because that’s what I was thinking as well.”

“You what?” he couldn’t have thought the same as him, Kokichi didn’t have the power of reloading.

“I was thinking that now you could just do a hard reset and leave me behind. After all, I told you really all I know now.”

Kokichi looked at him in the eyes for a long silent moment and Shuichi did the same.

“You would just have a new life. It’s not like you’ll know or it will matter.”

“It does matter. Because it means that you’ll have to kill me first to do it. Well, not kill in the literal sense, more like… kill these last eighteen years of my life. Kill the me that’s here right now.”

“You’ll probably keep going without me just fine. You aren’t going to disappear, just like you lived before I came. You are just making an assumption.”

“Do you have a proof that I keep living after you leave?” he asked, well aware that Kokichi had none. “And even if you are right. I’ll know that you have betrayed me. How would that make me feel? I don’t suppose you would take away my memory of what happened in the last few days. If you flee now, you’ll have ruined my life.”

Kokichi suddenly felt a lump on his throat. That, he had never stopped to consider. He had always wondered what he was leaving behind, after a jump, but since Shuichi or no one else really cared about _him_ it was never too much of a problem. But this Shuichi…

“…Overly dramatic much?” he said, trying to swallow.

“I’m not joking. This is what I’ve been thinking. Aren’t you thinking something similar? About how I could erase your memory and take advantage of you to keep you trapped?”

He had been. Shuichi was really not trusting him if he was thinking that, which meant that Kokichi was equally bad for doing the same.

“We are really a couple of gentle souls. We only think the best out of others.” that made Shuichi smile. “You aren’t wrong, I was thinking about that. And you were thinking about mean things about me. That’s rude. So much for someone who said he loves me.” Kokichi dropped back in the futon.

“Never said anything like that.” Shuichi propped up himself on his elbow to continue to look at his face. Kokichi was having some déjà vu from another night. “But you know why I decided to approach the subject out loud with you?”

“No? Because you wanted to make sure I knew that you have power over me? That’s not only rude, also sassy.”

“No, it’s because I thought about it. As we said, we both have something to lose if the other betrays this communal trust. So… why not look at it in reverse? Let’s see… If you jump without me, I have already created my Save State, it’s going to transfer over. I made sure to save something good enough to have all other me know what you did, which means you are not going to have a good time anywhere else. We are tied, you are not escaping this fate. If I do the stupid mistake of reloading, deleting your memories, I will end up with you jumping and not knowing. We will never meet again with the same level of control over the situation. Being you the hardware, you can keep going like you always did forever, I don’t have that luxury, if I don’t get to use the save slots again I’m trapped. Letting you go means losing the current balance. Our powers and knowledge are equal, we are both losing something if we broke this stalemate.”

“This is quite the statement…” he was right, and for some strange reason he felt a little better after hearing it. “So I guess you are telling me to trust that you won’t do anything that goes against your best interests?”

There was no proof whatsoever that anything he said was true, and they were basing everything on assumptions. Yet for some reason this felt more up his ally than a simple request of trust without any incentive. People were asking for trust all the time, whether they deserved it or not, and when they broke it, they were just shrugging and saying ‘yeah, it happens’. Shuichi was kind of doing the same, he was asking for a leap of faith, but he was doing it in the most honest possible way for them, which was appreciated.

“More or less.” he turned completely until he was lying on his stomach and his face was almost on top of Kokichi’s. “Of if you like it best… You can consider yourself to be my prisoner, and I’m your prisoner. We aren’t going anywhere because we are each other’s cage. Wanna be my prisoner?”

Kokichi smirked, liking a lot this provocation.

“That sounds really dirty! _You_ are going to be my prisoner!”

 Shuichi snorted with a smile.

“You just have to have the last winning word, don’t you?”

“I mean, I already received a marriage proposal or two, but this is by far the most original one! If you can come up with this for the proposal, I can’t wait to see the honeymoon!”

“Sure, let’s go with that.” Shuichi shook his head then looked again at him in the eyes, returning serious. Kokichi’s smile lingered on his lips, aware of what he was thinking. He was inviting Shuichi's last statement. “... I guess I can be your prisoner.”

“You are going to be a good one, I can already tell.”

“Why, thank you.” he said, then he leaned forward for a kiss.

Kokichi reciprocated.

“I guess I can make an effort myself.” he said when their lips parted.

“That would be nice of you.”

“I’m not known for being nice. But I can be persuaded every once in a while. Be a good prisoner and we can see what we can do.”

Shuichi sighed, shook his head and kissed him again.

Kokichi stopped thinking, there was no need for it anymore right now. Maybe there wouldn’t be any need for it for a while. Kokichi wasn’t going anywhere for the foreseeable future.

Maybe there wouldn’t be a need for it ever again.


End file.
